Hanging On By A Thread - 4/39

[neonchica]

          Hanging On By A Thread
 Title: Hanging On By A Thread (4/39)
Author: Neonchica
Rating: Gen R (for language and graphic images)
Characters: Sam, Dean, Bobby, Missouri
Disclaimer: Not Mine - but a girl can dream, right?
Spoilers: Through Season 2
Summary: When Dean loses his leg in a terrible hunting accident the brother's are forced to reevaluate their priorities. Can Dean still hunt? And is it really still worth the risk?
A/N: This story is already completed and posted over at ff.net - I just figured I might as well start posting my stuff over here as well.  And for those of you who haven't read it yet...let me know what you think!  (Oh, and sorry guys - no pictures on this one).



Sam woke again to the feeling that his body was crashing around in a series of waves, the unsteady bump bump bump jarring his tortured body. But somehow he felt numb, too. The pain was there, but it just seemed to float barely out of his grasp. Upon further inspection he found that he wasn=t able to move his head or his limbs, and that scared him more than the strange rocking of his body. Hadn=t he sat up just minutes before? How long had it been since he had last been awake? His eyelids felt heavy, like they=d been forced shut, held closed by a gigantic boulder sitting atop each one. With a monumental effort, Sam finally managed to pry them open, only to immediately shut them when the view flashing before him made him feel like he would throw up.

ADean!@ Sam=s eyes flew open once again as the thought of his brother struck him with vast intensity and he repressed the urge to throw up again in order to call out for the older hunter. Where is he? Where am I?

A graveled, masculine voice broke the silence. AHold on just a second, guys. Sam=s awake.@ I know that voice. Where do I know that voice from? How does he know my name? The view of the trees moving swiftly by in front of his eyes slowed significantly and he found he was finally able to take a deep breath of air without feeling the uncomfortable flip-flop of his stomach. He felt himself being lowered to the ground slowly, a final bump and he was still.

ASam...@ There it was again, that voice that seemed all too familiar, and yet so out of place in the middle of wherever the hell he was.  Sam forced his wavering eyes to focus on the distorted face that looked down at him with concern. The man=s jaw muscles were tense under his short beard and the brim of his cap hid his eyes in shadows, but Sam was finally able to focus enough to make out the features and he gave a tiny smile, praying this wasn=t a dream.

ABobby?@ he asked hopefully, his squeaky voice betraying any confidence he might have tried to garner.

AThe one and only,@ the older man admitted, more gentle than normal; softer than Sam was used to.

AWhere=s Dean?@

AHe right here,@ Bobby assured, placing his hand on Sam=s good shoulder and squeezing. AThey=ve got him on another backboard.

AIs he...okay?@

Bobby=s jaw tightened harder. His eyes lost their sparkle. AHe=s fine, Sam. Unconscious...but fine.@ The man was lying. There was no doubt in Sam=s mind that the older man in front of him, a man who had helped raise the boys and who had, at times, been more of a father to them than their own father had been, had just flat out lied to him. But Sam was having none of it.

ABobby, tell me,@ Sam demanded. AHe=s my brother...@

The older hunter shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, not wanting to say it, but knowing Sam would never back off otherwise. AHe=s bad, Sam. He=s lost a lot of blood. Too much blood. And that leg of his...@ Bobby=s voice trailed off and Sam didn=t push him anymore. He didn=t want to hear that his brother was near death. His memory was shady at best, but the mention of Dean=s leg had brought forth an image and he remembered the bear trap. But he didn=t want to hear that Dean=s leg was mangled so badly that it couldn=t be repaired. He didn=t want to hear any of that, because then it would be real. And Sam didn=t want this to be real.

AHe=s going to be alright,@ Sam announced, wishing he could sound more convincing. AIt=s Dean, for Christ=s sake. He=s beaten death before. He=ll do it again.

AI know, Sam. I know.@ Bobby=s hand gripped harder on Sam=s shoulder, the only way he knew how to offer comfort, and Sam relished in the touch.

AWe=ve got to get moving again,@ Bobby announced, almost apologetically, as though he knew Sam didn=t want him to let go. AIt=s going to be dark soon and you boys need to be in a hospital.@

Sam nodded, closing his eyes as he did so. AJust take care of Dean,@ he whispered as he drifted back to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxx

Sounds of steady beeping aroused Sam the next time, accompanied by that same feeling of floating he=d had on the trip out of the woods, only maybe to a larger degree. His eyelids fluttered open cautiously, revealing the sterile whiteness of a hospital room.

ASam?@ It was Bobby=s voice again, and Sam sighed in relief, grateful that Bobby=s presence earlier hadn=t been a dream.

Turning his head in the direction of the voice pulled at the stiffness in his neck, but at least he could turn his head this time. Another test afforded him the knowledge that his legs and his left arm were also mobile again, however the right arm remained immobilized. One thought garnered control of Sam=s mind as he met Bobby=s gaze. AHow=s Dean?@ he demanded, hating how weak his voice sounded.

AStill in surgery,@ came the abrupt reply. AHe=s holding his own.@

Thank God he=s still alive. Sam winced, tried to hide it, as the strain in his neck became more intense, and he rolled his head back against the pillows and closed his eyes until the pain melted.

AHow are you doing, kid? Anything hurt?@

Sam moved his head slowly from side to side, eyes still closed, as he mouthed the word >no.= AI=m just worried about my brother is all.@

ASam Winchester, don=t you dare even think about sitting in that hospital bed lying through your teeth. You=re in pain; and anyone with a half decent set of eyes can tell that without a second glance at you.@

Sam=s eyes flew open, unsure whether to be relieved or terrified at the newest voice to join the room. AMissouri?@

AWho=d you think it was, boy? Santa Clause? How the hell do you think your scrawny butt got found in the first place? It=s not like you two leave a forwarding address for every hunt you go on.@

Sam merely blinked, still too drugged to process half of what the large black woman was saying. Bobby noted the confusion and held up a hand in Missouri=s direction, making it clear that he obviously didn=t know the woman well.

ADon=t you dare hold your hand up to shush me,@ she snapped, glaring at the haggard hunter. AJust cause I called you for a favor once don=t mean you have the right to order me around. Those boys mean just as much to me as they do you and I would have dragged them out of the woods myself if it weren=t for this damn knee giving me so much trouble.@

Bobby=s eyes went wide, mouth agape as he studied the woman with a hint of fear. Sam had to laugh. And then curiosity struck, as words finally began to make sense in his fogged mind.

AWait...how did you find us? How did you even know where to start looking?@

AI=m a psychic, child,@ Missouri chided him with a hint of pride in her voice. AHow do you think we knew where to start looking?@

Still somewhat awestruck by the woman=s presence, Bobby managed to find his voice and chimed in. AIt=s three in the morning, and I=ve been sleeping for hours when I get a phone call from your friend Missouri, here. Says, >Bobby, you don=t know who I am, but I know who you are and there=s no time for formalities. John Winchester=s boys are in trouble and you got to go find them.@

He paused, trying to decide whether to laugh now that the seriousness of the moment is over. He decides against it, but his eyes still sparkle as he remembers the bewildering first conversation he=d had with the psychic. ACourse, first thing I ask her is where you boys are, and when she says she don=t know...@

A...he demands to know just how I know you=re in trouble then,@ Missouri adds, picking up the story again. ABut child, I=d gone to bed that night with this real tightness in my gut. Like my insides were twisting all over the place. And then I woke up >bout 2:30 after having this horrible nightmare. I=d seen you boys= faces floatin= around in my dream, back-splashed with red. And there were trees all around, and I just knew you boys were in trouble.@

AAt first I thought it was just crazy talk,@ Sam=s head ping-ponged back to look at Bobby as the hunter stepped in again. ABut then I remembered your daddy mentioning this psychic he=d gone to see once, and how she=d seemed to be right about everything she=d said. I was in my truck faster than you can say >break out the rescue squad,= and started heading north - that was about the only thing she could figure on, was that you boys were somewhere north of the border. It took me three hours worth of phone calls before I managed to track down some sort of a hunt you boys might have been on with those limited specifications and then I was back on the phone to Missouri.@

AWe arrived about the same time.@ Missouri again. AAnd I=d gotten a rescue squad ready just before Bobby got there and we all headed for the rangers station, hoping he might be able to give us a clue exactly where you might have got to. Imagine our surprise when he said you=d actually stopped in and registered...well, not you exactly, but Dean and Sam Clinton, and that was close enough for us. Said he remembered you two well, cause you didn=t look like any campers he=d ever encountered before, what with your leather jackets and that car of yours. Turns out this is some serious camping going on in that place, and just about everyone pulls up in a station wagon or an SUV. Never really seen someone pull up in a classic car before. Anyway, he said you=d registered for a day pass on Wednesday - I guess you=d told him you=d be out by morning - and here it was Friday and there=d been no sign of you.@

Sam interrupted them at that. AWait, you said it was Friday? Are you sure you don=t mean Thursday?@

ABoy, don=t you think I know the difference between Thursday and Friday? Of course I mean Friday. It was 10am Friday morning when Bobby and that rescue crew set out in search of you boys.@

ABut we were attacked that first night. That means Dean and I were out for more than twenty-four hours before you found us.@

Bobby=s face fell. AAnd you boys were in rough shape, too. I don=t know how either one of you managed to hold on for as long as you did. When we found you two, Dean was just about comatose the infection to his leg was so bad. And you weren=t that much better, although you did a pretty good job dressing those wounds before you passed out.@

Another flash of memory came to Sam and he froze. AI didn=t dress my wounds,@ Sam admitted anxiously. I don=t even remember getting hurt. Last thing I remember was the wolf...and then...then it=s just blank after that. I think I hit my head.@

Bobby nodded. AYou did. There=s a nasty gash on your temple. You must have hit a rock or something.@

AThat mean=s Dean must have done it,@ Sam gaped at the revelation. ABut how? He was in really bad shape. I didn=t even think he was conscious. And somehow he managed to drag me back into the tent and take care of my wounds? He could have hurt himself worse!@ Anger clouded his features as he realized just how much Dean had risked in his hero routine.

ABoy, your brother loves you more than anything,@ Missouri assured Sam, placing a hand on his knee in consolation. AHe=d do anything for you. I think it would have killed him more if you=d died because he didn=t do something. Cut him some slack.@

AI=ll forgive him if he survives this,@ Sam bargained. He only wished it was that simple. ACan you go find a doctor? Find out how the surgery is going?@

Bobby stood, looking all too eager to get out of the anxiety filled atmosphere, and if taking a walk to find out about Dean would do that for him he was happy to volunteer. He only made it to the door, knob clutched in his hand as a gentle knock sounded from the other side. He opened the door, revealing a very fatigued doctor on the other side.

ADr. Hurley.@ Bobby seemed surprised, and maybe a bit disappointed, to find the doctor in question standing outside the room. AHow is he? How=s Dean.@

The dark haired man ran a tired hand over his face. AIs his brother awake yet?@ He asked, ignoring the question.

Bobby nodded, inviting the man into the room with a sweep of his hand. After a brief greeting between Missouri and the doctor Bobby introduced Sam, and the younger boy nodded his acknowledgment of the visitor, his chest and arm in too much pain to offer a hand in greeting.

AHow is Dean?@ Sam asked, getting right down to business. AIs he going to be ok?@

The mid-fifties looking man forced a weak smile as he nodded. AYour brother made it through the surgery,@ he assured Sam. AHe=s in recovery now, and they will be moving him to a room in SICU very shortly. You two will be on the same floor.@

AThat=s good,@ Sam smiled, encouraged. AThat=s good, right? That he made it through surgery? When can I see him?@

AYou can see him just as soon as they get him settled into a room. Providing your doctor feels that you=re up to it.@

AHe won=t have a say in it,@ Sam mumbled under his breath.

AI=m sorry?@ Dr. Hurley asked, leaning in toward Sam in an attempt to make out what he=d just said.

Sam sighed. AI said I=m going to see my brother as soon as he=s in his room.@

The doctor shrugged, deciding to let the stubborn kid in front of him remain someone else=s problem. ASuit yourself. Now there is something else we should discuss before you go in to see your brother,@ the man added, crossing his arms in noticeable agitation.

AYou said he=s going to be alright,@ Sam accused, narrowing his eyes at the man. AIs he awake?@

Dr. Hurley stammered, unsure what to make of the demanding young man. On the one hand, he was impressed by the fierce devotion he seemed to have for his brother. But on the other hand, the kid did a mean impression of a pit bull, and he found himself put off by the fact that he seemed to think hospital rules were made to be broken and doctors were merely minions whose sole purpose in life was to bow to their patients= every whim. The need to be professional won out and he shook his head apologetically. AI=m sorry, Sam. Your brother is not yet awake. But that=s to be expected. He=s recovering from a very serious infection, as well as a healthy dose of sedative from the surgery. There=s no reason he won=t wake up in time, but it could be several hours. Maybe even a day or two. You=ll just need to be patient. Can you do that?@ The doctor eyed Sam sternly, getting in his knocks as subtly as possible.

Sam nodded. AI=m used to waiting on Dean,@ he assured the man, knowing it wouldn=t be a wise move to expand on that. Sure doc, I=ve had lots of experience waiting on my brother to wake up from massive injuries. Most recently he was in a coma after a demon practically tore his chest open and then had one of his kids drive a mac truck into the side of our car. So no worries, this is old hat for me.

AThat=s good Sam. But there=s another thing we should discuss.@

Closing his mouth, Sam looked at Dean=s doctor expectantly, waiting. And the pager on Dr. Hurley=s waistband went off. He excused himself, pulling his coat back to read the display on the contraption. AI=m sorry Sam, It=s an emergency. This is going to have to wait. Just please...wait to talk to me before you go in to seen Dean.@

A pinched smile held strong on Sam=s face until the doctor exited the room and then his mouth went flat and Sam became a flurry of action. He refused to acknowledge the pain that ebbed its way through his entire upper body as he raised the head of the bed so he was sitting. ABobby, do I have clothes here? I need to be ready as soon as Dean gets put in a room.@

Bobby knew better than to argue with the boy and, against his better judgement, he crossed the room to the duffle sitting on top of the chest of drawers. He pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and returned to Sam=s side, ready to assist the obviously hurting young man into the loose fitting clothes.

Missouri wasn=t nearly so fearful. ASam Winchester, what on earth do you think you=re doing even thinking about getting out of bed so soon. You just had surgery yourself. And you heard the doctor. He asked you to wait until he got back before you went to see Dean.@

AAnd I will wait for him,@ Sam assured her, allowing Bobby to help him slide the shirt on over his head. Missouri=s smug smile lasted mere seconds before the thoughts in Sam=s head slammed into her own subconscious. Just as long as the doctor gets back before Dean does.

AI heard that,@ the plump woman reprimanded. ASam, you=re no good to Dean if you push yourself too hard too fast. Please just think about what Dr. Hurley said...for your brother=s sake if nothing else.@

By now Sam had his sweat pants on, too, and he was leaning heavily against Bobby as the older man helped him into a waiting wheelchair. His right arm, strapped tightly to his chest, was hidden under the t-shirt while the left arm reached back to help lower himself into the chair. AI=ll make you a deal,@ he offered, already panting under the stress of the movements. He was unwilling to completely back down and yet he also recognized the signs of a stubborn Missouri.

She crossed her arms sternly, and waited, eyebrow cocked in annoyed curiosity.

AYou two let me see Dean as soon as he gets down here, and I=ll let you keep an eye on me. If you honestly think the pain is getting unbearable for me, I=ll go back.@

Bobby eyed Missouri, feeling her out for her opinion. He thought it sounded like a fine plan, but he had already learned not to second guess the woman. She nodded, lips tight. It was clearly against her better judgement, but it was a fair compromise. The Winchester boys were stubborn - the whole lot of them, and as much as she dared to order them around for their own good she still knew when she was beat. And she was beat. AAlright boy. But you have to listen to me when I tell you it=s time to go. You hear me?@

Sam smiled. AYes ma=am. Now can you go check and see if Dean=s in a room yet?@

xxxxxxxxxx

Twenty minutes later Bobby was pushing Sam=s wheelchair down the hall to Dean=s room, four doors down. Missouri walked beside him, one hand laid gently on Sam=s shoulder. The transport crew was just leaving Dean=s room as the three arrived and one of them held the door open for them. A single nurse remained in the room, adjusting her young patient=s blanket and checking that all the tubes and wires were firmly in place. She turned when she heard the troop enter, body between Dean=s bed and the boy=s visitors, offering a sympathetic smile to Sam.

AYou=re his brother?@ she asked, having heard that there were two young men found in the woods and putting two and two together.

Sam nodded absently, his eyes already locked on Dean=s pale face. AHow is he?@

AHe=s holding his own,@ She assured Sam, moving to skirt around the trio. AI=ll leave you alone. Just call if you need anything.@

As the nurse moved Sam heard Missouri and Bobby both inhale sharply and he looked up at them, trying to read their faces.

AOh God,@ Bobby said just as Missouri brought a hand to her mouth, her voice softening. AThat poor poor boy.@

From their higher vantage point the two adults could clearly see something that Sam could not, and he immediately grabbed the wheel with his good hand, dragging himself forward to Dean=s bedside. He finally saw what had Bobby and Missouri so upset; what the doctor had been trying to tell him before he got called away on his emergency.

ANurse!@ he called frantically, feeling his throat tighten as he took in the sight.

She turned, a bit surprised at the fear in Sam=s voice, and she fidgeted as she waited to hear what he needed.

Nonono. This can=t be happening. His hand gripped tightly to the wheel of the chair, knuckles turning white in his anxiety. He could barely choke out the question, not believing he was even asking it. It was so unreal. AWhere the hell is my brother=s leg?

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