i found my first white hair ever. THATS MY HAIR TELLING ME I REALLY SHOULD DYE IT WHITE. NOW IT HAS TO HAPPEN.

i just woke up from an hour nap with half my face in a puddle of drool. it wiped away half of my eye makeup on that side. im really impressed with myself.

it feels like things always start out really great and then fade into complete nothingness. why cant something start out great and get progressively stronger? i feel so easily forgotten.

thalamus is dying. its going to happen soon. im surprised that she wasnt dead when i got home from work today. her back legs are no longer working and her tail is completely limp ( Read more... )

im really worried about thalamus. shes showing signs of eggbinding. shes been laying stray eggs every now and then for a week after she laid most of them in her dirt bucket. shes hanging out close to the bottom of the cage and today when i came home from work she was sleeping which isnt normal. it might be too late to bring her to the vet but i ( Read more... )

theres alot of weird little things happening right now that i thought i wouldnt be able to handle. but surprisingly im doing very well with it. its crazy how much the things that used to bother us for years disappear in such a little amount of time when we stop worrying about them. now if only i can get over my weird phobias. maybe in another year ( Read more... )

thalamus might have more eggies. i re-read some of my forum threads when it happened the first time and i noticed these same signs a month before she actually laid her eggs. so maybe i have some time to spare but im just worried that im going to wait too long. shes still eating and showing interest in food so thats a good sign that shes not ready ( Read more... )

and now... the waiting game.

i hate this.

just realized that i had an unread message from june on my chameleon forum. apparently some guy from howell was missing his male veiled chameleon up in a willow tree and was asking me to bring thalamus over to see if it would coax him down. ummmmm, no. he never did find it and i could have helped but theres no way in hell i would bring my baby girl ( Read more... )

songs and cds that remind me of this last spring:

cd: gorillaz - plastic beach
cd: mgmt - congratulations
cd: deftones - diamond eyes
song: skinny puppy - spahn dirge
song: lady gaga + behemoth - bad romance metal version
song: beyonce - video phone
song: pendulum - hold your colours
song: massive attack - paradise circus

i fucking love feeling