(no subject)
Swimming through chaos is a lot like the open ocean... the sharks and jellyfish just look different.
I hate change but it does keep life from growing stagnant and it always seems to happen right at the point of stagnation, too...
So, my living arrangements and the stress generated by came to a situational critical mass a few weeks ago. Bills were showing up again and, as usual, numbers were being written up on the board concerning how much my share was. I never got to read it so I don't know what the wording was, but Kim left a message on it to the effect of Jondi needed to leave the statements for what she said I owed her for on tacked up rather than just putting numbers up there. This had already been stated once, fairly simple request. She also reminded Jondi that we were going to have to start moving come December (a month away at the time) unless she had found someplace to go on her own.
I was talking to Kim on the phone before she went to work when she told me she had done this and I had no problem with it, though I knew it would start a shitstorm. And it did.
When I got home Kim's message had been erased and their was a block from Jondi in its place ranting about how we had only given her $350 that month and how if we left we still were responsible for the lease. It was actually quite a lot of words to really only say those two things and both points were laughable to have brought up. The $350 was for the lease, which was given to her on time and was the only thing that have even come due yet, so bringing it up was moronic. And when I had talked to her months ago, whenever we found out Kim was pregnant, about the moving situation and how we would both still be bound to this lease unless whoever was staying found a replacement, so she was preaching to the choir by bringing that up. Her usual argumentative style, really...
My reply was to erase her rant and replace it with simple math outlining what I owed her for each bill for November and when each was due. I then subtracted what she owed me for paying our cable/phone/internet bill (which she ALWAYS neglected to think about when it came time to calculate who owed who money). I sat around the house until it was time to pick up Kim from work, fuming a little about the unnecessary stupidity of it all. Kim and I had spent the last night, maybe two, at her parent's house and were going back there that night because I didn't want the headache of a Jondi confrontation. I had forgotten to pick up a few things at the house and we swung by to pick it up.
Jondi was home.
When I walked in the back door she was writing something else on the board and I remember seeing unfriendly words. So as I passed her to pick up what I needed from the frontroom I told her I didn't appreciate stupidity in writing, if she was going to call me names and be vindicitive when she didn't need to be she should at least do it face to face. That pretty much lit the fuse because she tried to be self-righteous, as if leaving me a dirty message on the board was somehow brave and just. She repeated her earlier ranting about money and the lease, which was as ignorable in spoken form as it was in written, and went on to yell at me about a bunch of different things in succession. All the while her daughter is right there in the room while she spouted profanity at me. This just stuck out because a week or two earlier she bitched at me for using the word fag in Katie's presence and here she was doing sailor's proud with what she was saying about me and Kim.
I remember being told that it was my fault she hadn't moved out because I had told her not too. This was based on a seed of truth as I had told her that my sister may be willing to take over her part of the lease but I didn't know for sure. The statement she was trying to use against me was that she shouldn't move out before we knew if Dana would take over her lease obligations, otherwise she would still be responsible for it.
Then she told me she had been to see a lawyer and she was going to sue me if I moved out because she couldn't trust me to pay my half of the lease. I pointed out that she had no proof that I had ever been late in paying her anything, that her paying a bill and then wanting my share immediately without regard to when the bill had actually been due or when I got paid didn't constitute me being late, and all of that was partially voided by her habit of not letting me see the bills, which I had previously discovered weren't paid on time or at all anyway. Even then, she couldn't sue me for something that I did not as of yet owe her. And on top of it all she kept saying that she could sue me for all the court costs too.
At the time I was furious. This person who once raved in her blog about how I was stabbing her in the back and betraying her had been pretending to still be my friend for months while planning to fuck me over. The hypocrisy of it pissed me off as much as the act itself. In hindsight, I don't believe her claims about the laywer as her logic as to what was and wasn't legally viable in this situation was more than a little bit off.
By now the yelling had attracted Kim and she came in the back door to try and usher me out of the fight. Jondi made the mistake at this point of twitching with just the right amount of vehemence in her posture that I thought she was going after Kim. Now, again in clear hindsight, even pregnant I have no doubts that Kim would have beaten the shit out of Jondi. When playing, Kim has taken me off my feet more than a few times and Jondi is a pure wuss. But at the time all I saw was a threat to my love and my child, so I shoved her back into the kitchen and was growling before Kim pulled me back some. Things blur, but Jondi came forward again just the same and I broke free, getting her by the throat. The hematite bracelet that I got from Kim broke at some point during the scuffle and it was as I was contemplating tightening my grip to bring Jondi choking to the floor that I realized this. Jondi outweighs me, so purely from a standpoint negating a threat to myself, Kim, and an unborn child whose existance I had just gotten comfortable with, I was willing to do quite a bit. But the sight of my wrist naked, without that bracelet calmed me down. Take that for what you will, those of you who know what hematite is for.
The confrontation de-escalated and I went about gathering what I needed to leave. Jondi went mostly quiet at this point and the only thing new we said to each other was her claiming that she we hadn't been friends for a long time, blaming it all on Kim.
I hate change but it does keep life from growing stagnant and it always seems to happen right at the point of stagnation, too...
So, my living arrangements and the stress generated by came to a situational critical mass a few weeks ago. Bills were showing up again and, as usual, numbers were being written up on the board concerning how much my share was. I never got to read it so I don't know what the wording was, but Kim left a message on it to the effect of Jondi needed to leave the statements for what she said I owed her for on tacked up rather than just putting numbers up there. This had already been stated once, fairly simple request. She also reminded Jondi that we were going to have to start moving come December (a month away at the time) unless she had found someplace to go on her own.
I was talking to Kim on the phone before she went to work when she told me she had done this and I had no problem with it, though I knew it would start a shitstorm. And it did.
When I got home Kim's message had been erased and their was a block from Jondi in its place ranting about how we had only given her $350 that month and how if we left we still were responsible for the lease. It was actually quite a lot of words to really only say those two things and both points were laughable to have brought up. The $350 was for the lease, which was given to her on time and was the only thing that have even come due yet, so bringing it up was moronic. And when I had talked to her months ago, whenever we found out Kim was pregnant, about the moving situation and how we would both still be bound to this lease unless whoever was staying found a replacement, so she was preaching to the choir by bringing that up. Her usual argumentative style, really...
My reply was to erase her rant and replace it with simple math outlining what I owed her for each bill for November and when each was due. I then subtracted what she owed me for paying our cable/phone/internet bill (which she ALWAYS neglected to think about when it came time to calculate who owed who money). I sat around the house until it was time to pick up Kim from work, fuming a little about the unnecessary stupidity of it all. Kim and I had spent the last night, maybe two, at her parent's house and were going back there that night because I didn't want the headache of a Jondi confrontation. I had forgotten to pick up a few things at the house and we swung by to pick it up.
Jondi was home.
When I walked in the back door she was writing something else on the board and I remember seeing unfriendly words. So as I passed her to pick up what I needed from the frontroom I told her I didn't appreciate stupidity in writing, if she was going to call me names and be vindicitive when she didn't need to be she should at least do it face to face. That pretty much lit the fuse because she tried to be self-righteous, as if leaving me a dirty message on the board was somehow brave and just. She repeated her earlier ranting about money and the lease, which was as ignorable in spoken form as it was in written, and went on to yell at me about a bunch of different things in succession. All the while her daughter is right there in the room while she spouted profanity at me. This just stuck out because a week or two earlier she bitched at me for using the word fag in Katie's presence and here she was doing sailor's proud with what she was saying about me and Kim.
I remember being told that it was my fault she hadn't moved out because I had told her not too. This was based on a seed of truth as I had told her that my sister may be willing to take over her part of the lease but I didn't know for sure. The statement she was trying to use against me was that she shouldn't move out before we knew if Dana would take over her lease obligations, otherwise she would still be responsible for it.
Then she told me she had been to see a lawyer and she was going to sue me if I moved out because she couldn't trust me to pay my half of the lease. I pointed out that she had no proof that I had ever been late in paying her anything, that her paying a bill and then wanting my share immediately without regard to when the bill had actually been due or when I got paid didn't constitute me being late, and all of that was partially voided by her habit of not letting me see the bills, which I had previously discovered weren't paid on time or at all anyway. Even then, she couldn't sue me for something that I did not as of yet owe her. And on top of it all she kept saying that she could sue me for all the court costs too.
At the time I was furious. This person who once raved in her blog about how I was stabbing her in the back and betraying her had been pretending to still be my friend for months while planning to fuck me over. The hypocrisy of it pissed me off as much as the act itself. In hindsight, I don't believe her claims about the laywer as her logic as to what was and wasn't legally viable in this situation was more than a little bit off.
By now the yelling had attracted Kim and she came in the back door to try and usher me out of the fight. Jondi made the mistake at this point of twitching with just the right amount of vehemence in her posture that I thought she was going after Kim. Now, again in clear hindsight, even pregnant I have no doubts that Kim would have beaten the shit out of Jondi. When playing, Kim has taken me off my feet more than a few times and Jondi is a pure wuss. But at the time all I saw was a threat to my love and my child, so I shoved her back into the kitchen and was growling before Kim pulled me back some. Things blur, but Jondi came forward again just the same and I broke free, getting her by the throat. The hematite bracelet that I got from Kim broke at some point during the scuffle and it was as I was contemplating tightening my grip to bring Jondi choking to the floor that I realized this. Jondi outweighs me, so purely from a standpoint negating a threat to myself, Kim, and an unborn child whose existance I had just gotten comfortable with, I was willing to do quite a bit. But the sight of my wrist naked, without that bracelet calmed me down. Take that for what you will, those of you who know what hematite is for.
The confrontation de-escalated and I went about gathering what I needed to leave. Jondi went mostly quiet at this point and the only thing new we said to each other was her claiming that she we hadn't been friends for a long time, blaming it all on Kim.