topic 130 loyalty
A lot of people would assume I'm not loyal to anyone. I'm a self-absorbed jackass and I'm proud of it. There are three people that I would do anything for. Duncan, Veronica, and Lilly. I guess I thought after she died that my loyalty would die with her, but it didn't. If anything maybe it made me more loyal to Lilly's memory. Celeste Kane was trying to turn her daughter's memory into the girl she had always wanted for a daughter, and it made me sick. All I wanted was for people to remember her fire, her vibrant energy, and the way she was a force of nature. Duncan and Veronica understood because they wanted the same.
When I heard that there were videos of my father and Lilly having sex it was never a question of what I would have to do. A lot of people will never understand my motivation for paying someone to give me the tapes just so I could destroy them. Originally the plan was just to erase them, but I had to see. I had to see if it was really true. If she had betrayed me. If my father had betrayed me. If they had taken their infatuation with each other to that level. My stomach turned and I threw up twice. It's a whole new level of self-destruction to watch your dead girlfriend and your father together in color video. I destroyed the tapes and I'll never apologize for it. People may assume I did it because I was loyal to my father. The good son trying to save Daddy from life as a prison bitch. They couldn't be more wrong.
It was all about Lilly. There was no way I was going to let anyone else see that. Lilly Kane was the love of my life before I even knew what love was. She broke me out of my shell and convinced me that it was ok to let my guard down a little. Just like Duncan and later Veronica did too. I owed it to Lilly, to Veronica and Duncan, and to myself to preserve her memory. To not let the last thing anyone saw of Lilly Kane was a sex tape with my father. My loyalty to her will always be there. Even when I hate her for what she did. Hate and love, they are interchangeable. It's only in indifference that you are truly free from someone, and I will never be indifferent to Lilly Kane.
When I heard that there were videos of my father and Lilly having sex it was never a question of what I would have to do. A lot of people will never understand my motivation for paying someone to give me the tapes just so I could destroy them. Originally the plan was just to erase them, but I had to see. I had to see if it was really true. If she had betrayed me. If my father had betrayed me. If they had taken their infatuation with each other to that level. My stomach turned and I threw up twice. It's a whole new level of self-destruction to watch your dead girlfriend and your father together in color video. I destroyed the tapes and I'll never apologize for it. People may assume I did it because I was loyal to my father. The good son trying to save Daddy from life as a prison bitch. They couldn't be more wrong.
It was all about Lilly. There was no way I was going to let anyone else see that. Lilly Kane was the love of my life before I even knew what love was. She broke me out of my shell and convinced me that it was ok to let my guard down a little. Just like Duncan and later Veronica did too. I owed it to Lilly, to Veronica and Duncan, and to myself to preserve her memory. To not let the last thing anyone saw of Lilly Kane was a sex tape with my father. My loyalty to her will always be there. Even when I hate her for what she did. Hate and love, they are interchangeable. It's only in indifference that you are truly free from someone, and I will never be indifferent to Lilly Kane.