Like I didn't know this already...
I am a coward.
A slow pathetic coward.
I never tell people what I feel for fear of rejection. The people I most care about outside of my family will never know I do care about them. Or rather that I still care about them. It's sad.
I want something yet I don't take the steps to take it. I ignore all my strong feelings. I hide in my own emptyness.
And frankly, I don't care. If it protects those people I love, I'll sit here wallowing in my own self-loathing. I'm that determined to not turn it into something of lesser value. That love is worth the world to me. Me being the key word. I'm not going to have it scrutinized, laughed at or questioned by biases that society has placed over so many years. It's my love. Mine and only mine. I will not allow anyone to touch it or see it.
It's selfish. But I'm going to protect who I love. I will never blatently try to hurt those I love.
I'm a coward. And I can't help it.
A slow pathetic coward.
I never tell people what I feel for fear of rejection. The people I most care about outside of my family will never know I do care about them. Or rather that I still care about them. It's sad.
I want something yet I don't take the steps to take it. I ignore all my strong feelings. I hide in my own emptyness.
And frankly, I don't care. If it protects those people I love, I'll sit here wallowing in my own self-loathing. I'm that determined to not turn it into something of lesser value. That love is worth the world to me. Me being the key word. I'm not going to have it scrutinized, laughed at or questioned by biases that society has placed over so many years. It's my love. Mine and only mine. I will not allow anyone to touch it or see it.
It's selfish. But I'm going to protect who I love. I will never blatently try to hurt those I love.
I'm a coward. And I can't help it.