Crappy day
Here's how
All in all... it was horrible. Well, horrible is a little extreme, we're moving up in the pools, but... oh I don't know, I hated today, I really did. Okay, I'll start from the beginning. Before I tried out for this club team, Coach Rob begged me to come back and try out to be his starting OH (outside hitter) even though I've always played MB (middle blocker). But, now... all I am is a "go in for this person because they're not doing well" player... I'm put in OH, MB, and RH (right-side hitter)... I was actually all of those in a single rotation. I'm not complaining about playing time... I played, but my dad is the one that's really upset. "I'm not going to pay $2500 a year for you to sit the bench"... see... I've rarely sat the bench and I had to today quite a few times... and Coach Rob even told me "You're too good to sit the bench" so why am I??? But, what I'm really upset about is that our team doesn't seem to have their hearts in the game... am I the only one that cares??? And of course, I'm always the one being yelled at... like when the setter sets me a 1 (a short set, she sets the ball to me while I'm in the air) and sets it way below the net... how the heck am I supposed to get that over without being called for a lift? So, I got yelled at everytime that happened, oh no, it's never the setter's fault... I always get the blame. I know I screwed up here and there, but so does everyone. No one can play a "perfect" game (but apparently that's what he wants from me). So, at the end of the day... he just sits there and points out every mistake he thinks I made... does he not think that I already know what I did wrong? I'm a serious volley ball player... the game is everything to me. He doesn't yell at anyone else when they make continuous mistakes... it's just me and I don't understand that. I was in tears on the car ride home because I feel like I'm a horrible volley ball player. I guess this entire thing is my fault... I should've tried out for a different team this year. Dad's going to talk to the 18's coach, Coach Greg... he's the one that told Rob about me after he saw me play last year and during high school season.
I don't mind being put in for different positions... but if he wants me to be great, not just good, at a position... he needs to put me there instead of passing me around. I don't know, it seems logical to me. I've played MB my whole volley ball career, so, what I'm thinking is that if he wants me to also play OH... we need to work on that during practices too instead of just saying during our match "go play OH" or "go play RH" because the whole rotation and where you're supposed to be for defense and serve receive is completely different.
Okay... my rant is over... I just really needed to get it out of me. It's so hard to keep it inside. I just felt like yelling at Rob today to tell him what's going on inside my head... but I just can't. I can't yell at people... so, instead of yelling, I rant in my journal... hehe, it works.
Well... I guess it's good that we're at least moving up into the next pool. We got 2nd in our pool... won twice and lost once. I just feel terrible right now... it's been such a bad day. I was thinking about calling Zack to tell him how we were doing after the 2nd match. But, I had to ref. I was thinking about him on the way home today... "I really want to talk to him... I know he'd make me feel better" I'll see him tomorrow though... I know I'll be in a better mood when I see him, then I can tell him what I've been meaning to tell him...
I really want to talk to him right now... but I don't know what I should say... I'll wait until tomorrow, then I'll try to get up the courage.
went...
All in all... it was horrible. Well, horrible is a little extreme, we're moving up in the pools, but... oh I don't know, I hated today, I really did. Okay, I'll start from the beginning. Before I tried out for this club team, Coach Rob begged me to come back and try out to be his starting OH (outside hitter) even though I've always played MB (middle blocker). But, now... all I am is a "go in for this person because they're not doing well" player... I'm put in OH, MB, and RH (right-side hitter)... I was actually all of those in a single rotation. I'm not complaining about playing time... I played, but my dad is the one that's really upset. "I'm not going to pay $2500 a year for you to sit the bench"... see... I've rarely sat the bench and I had to today quite a few times... and Coach Rob even told me "You're too good to sit the bench" so why am I??? But, what I'm really upset about is that our team doesn't seem to have their hearts in the game... am I the only one that cares??? And of course, I'm always the one being yelled at... like when the setter sets me a 1 (a short set, she sets the ball to me while I'm in the air) and sets it way below the net... how the heck am I supposed to get that over without being called for a lift? So, I got yelled at everytime that happened, oh no, it's never the setter's fault... I always get the blame. I know I screwed up here and there, but so does everyone. No one can play a "perfect" game (but apparently that's what he wants from me). So, at the end of the day... he just sits there and points out every mistake he thinks I made... does he not think that I already know what I did wrong? I'm a serious volley ball player... the game is everything to me. He doesn't yell at anyone else when they make continuous mistakes... it's just me and I don't understand that. I was in tears on the car ride home because I feel like I'm a horrible volley ball player. I guess this entire thing is my fault... I should've tried out for a different team this year. Dad's going to talk to the 18's coach, Coach Greg... he's the one that told Rob about me after he saw me play last year and during high school season.
I don't mind being put in for different positions... but if he wants me to be great, not just good, at a position... he needs to put me there instead of passing me around. I don't know, it seems logical to me. I've played MB my whole volley ball career, so, what I'm thinking is that if he wants me to also play OH... we need to work on that during practices too instead of just saying during our match "go play OH" or "go play RH" because the whole rotation and where you're supposed to be for defense and serve receive is completely different.
Okay... my rant is over... I just really needed to get it out of me. It's so hard to keep it inside. I just felt like yelling at Rob today to tell him what's going on inside my head... but I just can't. I can't yell at people... so, instead of yelling, I rant in my journal... hehe, it works.
Well... I guess it's good that we're at least moving up into the next pool. We got 2nd in our pool... won twice and lost once. I just feel terrible right now... it's been such a bad day. I was thinking about calling Zack to tell him how we were doing after the 2nd match. But, I had to ref. I was thinking about him on the way home today... "I really want to talk to him... I know he'd make me feel better" I'll see him tomorrow though... I know I'll be in a better mood when I see him, then I can tell him what I've been meaning to tell him...
I really want to talk to him right now... but I don't know what I should say... I'll wait until tomorrow, then I'll try to get up the courage.
went...