✂ i had to put this somewhere

[nerrin]

Ugh I'm so, so sorry but I really need somewhere to say this and I don't like IMing people just to talk about things like this because it's so whiny. Whining about school annoys me, quite frankly, and it pains me that I have to do it too but I just...can't. I've made short comments in the past but this is on a different level than just 'omg too

Comments

[gakurans]

i don't entirely understand everything going on, and i can't understand such a heavy workload personally, but i understand stress and i understand having panic attacks in a separate way. i can't really say "i hope you feel better" or anything, but i hope you can get away from everything stressing you out as soon as possible. if something like choir, something you should do for fun, is stressing you out, then i sincerely hope you can get away from that and have some time to yourself.

[nerrin]

Yeah, i the end the feeling of stress is still the same and it's really...it's not something pleasant for ANYONE, that's for sure. I think right now I seem to be still not as well-adjusted as I can be, and you're right - it's why I'm actually considering quitting it, since... no longer enjoy it as much as I used to. But at the same time, it's almost as if I'm abandoning ship because things have gotten harder and I've made more sacrifices...I'm pretty sure things like this happen out there in the world, too, and a part of me is just too proud to just quit right now (which is probably a bad thing fff) ;__;

Thank you so much though, I really appreciate this ♥

[gakurans]

in response to your edits; don't feel bad for venting! not venting has made a lot of my friends (er, korean friends THAT FEELS SO WEIRD TO SAY? sob) really more stressed out and doesn't help you if you're suffering or feeling bad.

if it's not fun, either pass off the position or like you said, quit. something like choir shouldn't make you feel that bad! sob. it really doesn't seem to help the other situations you're in right now. no one can think that giving up an extra school activity makes you weak, especially if you're giving it up for schoolwork or other things.

♥!

[nerrin]

I'm working on being more open with my problems in life like that, and you're right though, bottling everything up - everyone knows it's not a good thing, but I know sometimes I can be too proud to say anything xD (oooh, Korean friends?? that's not weird at all okay C:)

That's true ;A; yeah, someone I know told me that my course comes first after all, CCA later - and I've already decided to quit after next week, too, even though I do still feel guilty about it...
and then I'll probably join something more recreational or something like...the Library Club.../wut

[nerrin]

ikr, I'm actually seriously considering it now but I guess I'm stupid in that I'm really...too proud to admit that I can't do it publicly, I think. ._____.

Though I have told my parents about this, I'm probably going to leave after I've fulfilled every last obligation I have to this thing since they'd be screwed over if i left suddenly now, and I can't do that since the others did put in a lot of effort for one upcoming performance... (after next Thursday, I'm probably out for good then, in this case)

[nerrin]

I like being a proud ass over my stuff but in times like this, it is super unhelpful fffff. PFFFFFF if you managed to get where you are you're probably not all /that/ bad okay, and everyone loves slacking I KNOW I DO

We've got a time limit here though, and I'd feel bad if I didn't show up since they need me to practice most of their pieces with everyone present! Those friends are planning a similar party for another friend whose birthday is coming up soon anyway, so I can still see them a little later on - so it's not TOO bad, in the end xD

[daicheto]

i'm never good in saying things like this but i want to say something...and i thought of nothing that could cheer you up, words wouldn't be enough to make you a little better? gosh, 8AM-11PM is so insane just by hearing it ;_; i swear i'll try to not complain about school anymore since it's nothing. but please don't feel guilty about this post, you deserve to talk about it and nobody should ever feel uncomfortable with your post because you've been so good in bringing up a smile everytime you post--

lol yeah, grades do matter in everything it seems. but...you're doing your best though it is getting heavier and heavier, you can re-arrange your schedule and loosen some things? /is never helpful ...♥♥♥

/HUGS!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[nerrin]

LMFAO I'M JUST BEING CRANKY I SWEAR -- though it really depends how someone complains, since tbh 10AM-3PM /is/ long (I'D COMPLAIN TOO, WHEN HAVE I NEVER STOPPED COMPLAINING) but it's not the longest ever...in that retrospect maybe 8AM-11PM might not be the longest after all gnfjgff working hours are probably worse depending on the job ;___;)!
I don't make entries like this one very often haha, I'm pretty uncomfortable with it since...it does come off as super whiny when I do, since I complain a lot /)____(\

I hate how grades are everything since some people never really get a proper chance because of them...though I suppose it's a good standard way of looking at things u__u;;
But seriously, thank you SO MUCH bb, you always cheer me up with your comments as well so please don't think you're not helpful! ;A;

[daicheto]

haha i usually complained when having 7AM-5PM class but it's because i'm a senior on junior high back then (and still, now). Complaining is completely normal...! I mean we have fun when whining/complaining for the lulz about anime or something, no. or not. Work hours of 8AM-11PM could be counted as insane as well! as far as I know, once my dad was an employee and he worked from 7AM till 10/11PM but he comes home in the afternoon for some hours. i-if you can, you should manage at least healthy eating habit in the middle of your busy hours...

it is a good way for measurement of people's quality-- but what i honestly don't like is that sometimes it means the world for me as well. i mean, if once i get bad score than people would be 'le gasp!!!' and asking me until i feel uncomfortable and embarrassed and want to dig a hole and hide forever...even some people pick their friends based on the 'grades'

I-I'M GLAD I DIDN'T SUCK UP ;^;♥♥♥♥ best of luck, nerr! fighto!! ♥

[nerrin]

7AM-5PM IS HARD TOO OK, 10 hours is like, nearly half the day! And omg, yeah, working is pretty hardcore depending on the job ;___;) I hope once I start work, I'll be able to sneak breaks too haha. I guess complaining's also a way of bonding and at the same time, getting rid of stressing by bitching it out together right.

LMFAO YES, THIS SO MUCH. An A or a B isn't always the best measure of a person either - personality matters, too; and if you get /one/ low-enough GPA/score, that's basically it for you here and you're screwed over permanently. Which is like LOL LIFE OR DEATH MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BGM ALL THE TIME SOB

and ffffff really really, thank you so much ♥ /HUGS

[cakefrost]

UGHHH i know what you mean about choir, i was the same way w/ my orchestra duties. i was really pressured about my position and i actually got told off once or twice and it never became fun for me again sobbb. i never quit though cuz orch excused me from saturday classes so i just thought screw quitting lmao AHHH ANYWAY! personally i think you should quit choir, especially if your schedule's already super full like that :(!! you're only human!! you shouldn't stress yourself out so much w/ overloaded work because it will only make things worse as time goes on... i've been through that too orz s-so i think i kinda know how you feel. kinda, even if it's just a bit ;____; i wish there was something else i could do aside from ramble on in this comment though sob, i'll just cheer you on nerrnerr!! you can do it okay ;A; /holds♥♥♥!!!!! i hope everything gets better really soon 8( hang in there ok /sends you cheer up charm (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ'✿,｡･:*:❀･ﾟ'❁,*:❀･ﾟ'❁,✿,｡･:*❀･ﾟ'❁

[nerrin]

HAHAHA performing arts are so damn FOCUSED on the whole commitment thing it's crazyyyy. And thank you so much for this, Yen ;; It will definitely get better I think, because what triggered this whole OMG I CAN'T DO IT freaking out was me nearly losing 1290SGD (which I narrowly escaped by forging signatures, but NEVER AGAIN WTF)...if I hadn't nearly fucked up with the form, I wouldn't have cried in school orz, nor have such negative thoughts about my situation. This only shows how I'm a person who isn't mature enough yet to handle failure or disappointment, or the responsibility and guilt of fucking up majorly orz.

Again, THANK YOU so much for this okay ♥ just admitting these things to people online, for me...it makes me feel a lot better, and that I can really do this. Thank you so, so much ;w;)

[billhook]

oh, baby ;~; /holds i just ajslag i really, really hope you can quit choir. not only because of the whole 8AM-11PM thing ( which, holy shit, i cannot even imagine ), but also because it actually really sucks when something you enjoy ends up being like a chore, or something that just causes you stress.

and it's sad too, that grades determine a person and their ~worth~ in life. although i feel that here, it seems to be what college you go to as well. idk, school in general makes me kind of EHHBLAHRAHGH.

i am pretty sure this comment made no sense but, /HOLDS ;_;