A Question:

[nervy_girl]

How exactly, without making a big deal of it (because that's just not me), does one tell a person "I'm not your fucking buddy, at least not since you made me feel unsafe in my own bed by trying to help yourself to what I wasn't offering"? Not wanting to make a big deal would be why I'm posting this here, and not on Facebook

Comments

[fairgoldberry]

"I don't feel as close or as comfortable with you as I used to. Things have changed between us and the relationship is different."

If you had a conversation at the time of the attempt to help himself in which you let him know he'd overstepped and abused your trust, then he should know full well what you're talking about, and if he doesn't respect what you say then there's no reason not to be blunt about just cutting him out of your life entirely. If you really want to put the work into educating him on the importance of observing and respecting boundaries, that's your choice, but you're by no means obligated to do so.

If you didn't have a conversation at the time of the attempt (or since) about it, and you don't feel motivated to have that conversation now, then leave it at "I'm just not interested in pursuing this friendship" and let it go.

Love,
Rowan

[johnnypowers]

Tell him it's over, he violated your trust, and that's it. Are you still interested in being his friend? If not, tell him so.

[indefinableme]

I don't think that just telling him that he made you uncomfortable, and that you don't feel like you can be friends anymore (or if you do, and just want him to leave you alone for now), is making a big deal about it. I do know how hard it is though to say stuff like that to someone.