Love and Trust
There's two concepts that I used to think I understood and over the last several months have determined I'm still trying to get a solid grasp on...
Trust: something that builds over time... proven by selfless acts, proven by caring, proven by being completely open and honest... proven by being there when needed, proven by being there even for the little things
Love: enjoying spending time with someone to a degree to which you'd like to spend the majority of your time with this person possibly to the exclusion of spending time with other close friends at times. Signs of love include: trust, comfort, instant happiness when around each other, very often thinking of them when they're not around(not to be confused with obsession), and wanting to be with them more often.
Not trust: acting differently than you say... not being there when needed... expecting things from someone that they can't give you... keeping secrets.
Not love: Being in a relationship just for the sake of being in one or because it seems like there's no other option, staying in a relationship because you're scared of change(scared of losing comfort), settling for someone who doesn't make you happy, staying in a relationship just so you don't hurt the person you're involved with. Being in a relationship with so many secrets that it might fall apart if the truth were known.
You can have trust without love, but you can't have love without trust. However, if you think you have trust and love... and you take love away... the trust tends to become worthless...
It's interesting, because I'm just now learning why people say things like how relationships would ruin a friendship. It always seemed previously in my head that if two people break up, they could go back to being friends. And actually, I suppose some people are able to. But now I think I'm starting to understand why that's so unlikely. Once you've given over so much of yourself and your trust to someone... only to have it take away... you'll forever feel betrayed. You might still care about the person, but you don't want to hear about their happiness without you. And you don't want to hear them being emo either, since they obviously thought they could get along fine without you being such an important part of their life.
So even though it's romantic to think of dating your best friend... maybe that's exactly what your significant other shouldn't be... at least to start... because then if something goes wrong... not only do you lose your love... but you lose your best friend too...
*sigh*
Why does life have to suck so much? I'm so tired of things in my life staying generally negative since several months ago. I mean sure, I've had some good days here and there. But overall, it's just been a cluster of losing love, losing family, losing friends. I didn't ask for or want for any of those losses to occur. I feel so much like I have no control over anything that happens in my life these days. And the fact that I've been unable to make any headway into new friendships or anything no matter how well things seem to be going, just proves to me that no matter what I do, or how good or nice a person I try to be... it just doesn't matter. I'm just cursed... cursed to be unhappy with what I have, and just hate my existence. And I've always had problems with frustration. If things don't go my way, I always get frustrated pretty quick... except instead of anger or rage like I'd normally display. The past several months have just made that frustration turn me annoyingly emo, withdrawn, and lackadaisical.
I'd just like a ray of hope to actually last for once... instead of raising my hopes before burning out like a shooting star...
Trust: something that builds over time... proven by selfless acts, proven by caring, proven by being completely open and honest... proven by being there when needed, proven by being there even for the little things
Love: enjoying spending time with someone to a degree to which you'd like to spend the majority of your time with this person possibly to the exclusion of spending time with other close friends at times. Signs of love include: trust, comfort, instant happiness when around each other, very often thinking of them when they're not around(not to be confused with obsession), and wanting to be with them more often.
Not trust: acting differently than you say... not being there when needed... expecting things from someone that they can't give you... keeping secrets.
Not love: Being in a relationship just for the sake of being in one or because it seems like there's no other option, staying in a relationship because you're scared of change(scared of losing comfort), settling for someone who doesn't make you happy, staying in a relationship just so you don't hurt the person you're involved with. Being in a relationship with so many secrets that it might fall apart if the truth were known.
You can have trust without love, but you can't have love without trust. However, if you think you have trust and love... and you take love away... the trust tends to become worthless...
It's interesting, because I'm just now learning why people say things like how relationships would ruin a friendship. It always seemed previously in my head that if two people break up, they could go back to being friends. And actually, I suppose some people are able to. But now I think I'm starting to understand why that's so unlikely. Once you've given over so much of yourself and your trust to someone... only to have it take away... you'll forever feel betrayed. You might still care about the person, but you don't want to hear about their happiness without you. And you don't want to hear them being emo either, since they obviously thought they could get along fine without you being such an important part of their life.
So even though it's romantic to think of dating your best friend... maybe that's exactly what your significant other shouldn't be... at least to start... because then if something goes wrong... not only do you lose your love... but you lose your best friend too...
*sigh*
Why does life have to suck so much? I'm so tired of things in my life staying generally negative since several months ago. I mean sure, I've had some good days here and there. But overall, it's just been a cluster of losing love, losing family, losing friends. I didn't ask for or want for any of those losses to occur. I feel so much like I have no control over anything that happens in my life these days. And the fact that I've been unable to make any headway into new friendships or anything no matter how well things seem to be going, just proves to me that no matter what I do, or how good or nice a person I try to be... it just doesn't matter. I'm just cursed... cursed to be unhappy with what I have, and just hate my existence. And I've always had problems with frustration. If things don't go my way, I always get frustrated pretty quick... except instead of anger or rage like I'd normally display. The past several months have just made that frustration turn me annoyingly emo, withdrawn, and lackadaisical.
I'd just like a ray of hope to actually last for once... instead of raising my hopes before burning out like a shooting star...