(no subject)
My ED is at a all time high. I'm at the point to where I cant even eat an apple without throwing it up. I just tried to drink some coffee. After four drinks I started to realize how many calories were in it and poured it out. I thought about throwing up what I did drink. I never did though, but now I feel bad for not doing so. I've never been this bad. I havent really ate in 2 days. When I stop eating I forget to drink water or anything. So usually I just go without anything. I try to make myself drink water at least but I dont want to. I know it can kill you if you go without food and water but I dont really care anymore. I'm starting to scare myself or what I think does. Yesterday I was thinking about how I cant wait to get to the point on where I havent ate in so long I'll start passing out. What the hell is wrong with me. I know how stupid I must sound. I dont want help. I just want to be skinny but I realize how fucked up I'm being. So I dont know what to do.