Lots of odds and ends
First off, take a peek at aoi_usagi 's new kitty in a kimono (apologies, I don't mean to make light of the subject, I'm going for descriptive here). I love it!
Next to address misc. stuff
I don't think anyone will want to wade through all of this, it's very long, but some of it I'm noting for my own benefit.
For a guy who tends to be a huge waste of oxygen, the Post's Marc Fisher seems to be hitting a lot of home runs with his columns lately. Not to be ignored is yesterday's column regarding Maya Keyes, daughter of Republican Alan Keyes. Maya is a lesbian and has been thrown out of her parents' house and had all financial support cut off, after she left college and came home to help him with his political campaign. Maya is still intensely conservative, like her dad, in a lot of ways, but she says she did not choose, nor can she help her sexual orientation.
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Next up, Valentine's Day brought on a slew of weird articles, advice columns, and all kinds of strangeness seeping out the cracks in the walls.
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First, Miss Manners had to stoop to address the cultural phenomenon of "you can't date my ex." Miss Manners is so genteel, she cannot stoop to use the strong language this topic requires. But then, I'm not sure anyone is listening. I think it all simply boils down to exes and friends are human beings too, and have a right to pursue their own happiness and try to build their own lives. I know many disagree, but that's my view. Exes may be deeply flawed human beings, in which case you might warn a friend or acquaintance of his or her dastardly deeds, but it must be from concern for them, not because one does not want to see one's ex with anyone else.
And sure it can really hurt, but that's not the point. Someone might even not want a friend to date her ex, because she's holding out that she might reunite with him later. But bottom line, we don't live other people's lives for them and they have a right to happiness. That said I'm not talking about cheating or blatantly rude or poor behavior. And it probably is a good idea for the new couple to let the ex know before he or she hears rumors.
I'm just saying beyond that, we're all in control of our own actions, not other people's, and additionally it doesn't hurt to put yourself in the other guy's shoes, and think "how would I feel if I totally fell for someone and the only problem was he went out with my pal a few times a couple years ago."
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Next, a strange article about a couple who took premarital counseling with their church before getting engaged, then set their wedding date, then started planning the wedding, and all the while the woman fretted about when they would actually, in fact, get engaged. As she sobbed over her ringless finger, the guy insisted he would do it in his own time and in his own way. Finally he sent her for a day of luxury at a spa, sent a limo to pick her up, and met her with the ring as the limo let her out at the Starbucks where they met. And she was happy.
Happy is good, just the whole thing left me wondering, who gets premarital counseling before even getting engaged, and if you've set the wedding date and are planning the wedding, aren't you, in fact, engaged. Isn't that what engaged means? (Says the chick with no ring naturally, so I suppose I'm just not in the loop).
Also it seemed strange that the counseling seemed to focus on how they should not be materialistic and needed to focus on a deep spiritual connection that could sustain them through illness, joblessness, and infertility. Then the article turns and they're on a ring quest.
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Finally, the new column in the Post, Ask Amy, gets a letter from a woman concerned about a prior letter. The situation was that a woman was living with her "fiance," even though his divorce from his current wife was not yet final. The woman's mother was deeply concerned about this.
This new letter suggested that the mother send a letter to the man's estranged wife and also his boss, letting them both know that he was living with another woman.
Ok, first of all, what does his boss have to do with any of this? Next, if the divorce is ongoing, the estranged wife is probably well aware of his living situation. I'm as against adultery as the next person, but lacking any details here, I have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Some states have excessively long waiting periods for divorce. He may have had to establish that they were living apart for two whole years before they can even file for divorce, and considering how complex the divorce is, it might take another two before it's finalized.
You might think this is just a random weirdness, but on the DCWW listserve a woman posted a message that her husband left her for one of his co-workers and so she wanted to know what kind of form she should use for the letter she would send to his boss, to hopefully get them both fired. I mean, I get bitterness and all, but again I wonder why anyone thinks dragging the poor boss into this is appropriate. I mean the manager surely has enough to do without the additional burden of policing employees' sex lives.
Hmmm
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Last, but not least, the Post's Unconventional Wisdom column tackles the big issues.
Findings include:
Republicans talk on cell phones, eat, and apply make-up while driving more often than Democrats. Democrats on the other hand are more unhappy with their commutes and are crankier drivers.
Also, surveys and studies show that residents routinely rate communities as being in decay when the number of African American residents increases, regardless of other factors like graffiti and crime. African Americans were also likely to answer this way.