enveloped in fog
a cold gray sea of air settled in last night.
i'm drowning and cannot rise above it.
a swirling maelstrom of words in my head has caught me.
Doubt Anger Accusation Recrimination Fear Dread Despair
'round and 'round they spin wrapping ever tighter.
not enough time I don't have enough time.
a center of gravity has developed in my chest.
it holds me prisoner and draws the satellites of words ever closer.
i cannot breathe.
my eyes burn.
i cannot must not cry.
it is foolish to cry.
i got myself into this mess.
crying won't help won't change anything
i have to fix it.
How? How? How? whispers the ember of Hope flickering in the back of my mind.
Think! Think!
i can't think.
i can't sleep.
my thoughts are caught in the whirlpool.
they whip by too quickly.
i can't catch them.
i know better than this.
why do I let this happen?
stupid woman, will you never learn?
i'm drowning and cannot rise above it.
a swirling maelstrom of words in my head has caught me.
Doubt Anger Accusation Recrimination Fear Dread Despair
'round and 'round they spin wrapping ever tighter.
not enough time I don't have enough time.
a center of gravity has developed in my chest.
it holds me prisoner and draws the satellites of words ever closer.
i cannot breathe.
my eyes burn.
i cannot must not cry.
it is foolish to cry.
i got myself into this mess.
crying won't help won't change anything
i have to fix it.
How? How? How? whispers the ember of Hope flickering in the back of my mind.
Think! Think!
i can't think.
i can't sleep.
my thoughts are caught in the whirlpool.
they whip by too quickly.
i can't catch them.
i know better than this.
why do I let this happen?
stupid woman, will you never learn?