The Leaving (Monologue)

Jan 08, 2006 03:24

Title: The Leaving

Monologue

Fandom: The Leaving

Author: never_chan

Genre: Fiction (?_? I don't know it falls under)

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I do not own "The Leaving" or take claims in owning. Also no money is being made from this and all rights belong to the respected author.

Written: June 3, 2005

~~~

Iya another English assignment... I got to take one of the characters though that was only mentioned by name and give him a personality and everything. So in a way he's mine as well, and I'm quite pleased with how he turned out. ^^

The Leaving
- Monologue -

P.O.V - the youngest son (17) Jem

I looked out my window, the glass panes slightly frosted as the winter wonderland below me glowed in recognition. Despite the broken cars and useless heaps of junk in the front yard. Last night’s frost gave them a snow covering of icing that made me think of cupcakes. What I wouldn’t give for some of Ma’s cooking right now…

Nonetheless it is beautiful, I thought so as well as I stared in longing at the big oak tree, its wide strong branches that used to remind me of my father’s arms were now sagging under the weight of the snow. Many summer days my brothers and I would spend climbing that tree. We were grown now though so it didn’t appeal to us anymore. At least not to my older brothers, I didn’t care much either but there were still those moments when you wished you were a kid again.

I sometimes envy Sylvie, even though she’s a girl. But she has it all, brains and cleverness. She’s quick and finished things through and thorough she always has Ma’s praise and even Pa is proud of her in his eyes. Though he never says anything you can just tell.

I think we all envied Sylvie in one way or the others, Daniel, Ira and Bernard just hide it, I think… or maybe it’s just me.

However after today, I think it was clear to all of us, at least amongst my brothers how much we envied her. Pa was just mad, real mad! I think he cared about Ma being gone more than over Sylvie. After all, Ma did the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and the housework. That’s what women do. I wish she didn’t go though; everything’s so hectic around here. Maybe if I was smarter or stronger… something or the other.

Its midday now, or maybe 10 o’clock or so, you can’t really tell up here in the mountains when it’s cloudy. It hasn’t snowed though and through the misty grey fog you can barely see the rim of the sun. It looks like its choking from here, I wonder…

The snow is starting to melt some; it trickles down the glass like raindrops. My fingers trailing them against the pane, leaving misty finger prints. I love the rain and it’s comforting that Ma does too. Back when I was the youngest, I used to sit on her lap and she’d tell me stories as we rocked in her wicker rocking chair. Then the sun would come back out, and she would set me down and make her way back to the kitchen. She stopped telling me stories when I was five.

Pa’s back, he went out to town before to look for Ma, and we had nothing to eat. I know I’m hungry and everyone else, as well. He’s red faced and cursing, I’m glad I’m up here. I guess Ma wasn’t in town, too bad.

Thunder, that’s what I thought Pa sounded like when he started yelling for us all too come down. And like loyal sons, we did as told. One by one each of out doors creaked open and we made our way down the stairs.

Dinner was served, well not really. Pa caught a couple rabbits and roasted them over the fire pit out back. We also had beans from the can, nothing too hard and the extent of our cooking skills. I wonder when Ma and Sylvie are coming back? I bet they could make something better for dinner.

This room, my room is my haven. Dinner’s finished and Pa and my brother’s are all downstairs planning the hunt for tomorrow, do they even care that Ma and Sylvie are gone? How will we get by? Will they ever come back? Does Ma miss me?

It’s night and everyone’s in bed, of course but I can’t sleep. The house is so quiet; like every night but this is the first night I’ve slept without Ma here as well. It just doesn’t feel right. Pa will be ashamed seeing one of his son’s crying for his mommy…I’m not, just worried.

Morning has come again, the window doesn’t appeal to me as much. Instead I’ll head down stairs; I didn’t sleep well the night before and am looking for a nice warm meal.

Ma still hasn’t come home, its day two. I think Pa expected her to be here already. You can tell by the stormy look in his eyes and it isn’t a rain shower with a rainbow at the end, instead the kind that traps sailors at sea. Danger lurks.

The hunt was cancelled, cause of Pa’s bad mood. I didn’t feel like hunting anyways and for the last two days we have had canned food. The house is getting really dirty and starting to smell, but none of us know what to do. I never felt so helpless, Ma please come home.

Day two comes to a close. The moon is shining brightly through the window, illuminating the room. It’s been getting warmer the past while and things are starting to melt, Spring is coming. But is Ma?

People say the third times the charm, they must be right. Cause when the time came, and up the snow covered paths marched Ma and Sylvie, but they were different somehow…Ma is standing up to Pa, he’s laughing at her. Though I find it shocking, but bloody brave!

It was an even bigger shock when Ma asked me to fetch her a pail of water. Maybe this new change in her isn’t so good, or maybe it is… I don’t really know yet. Whatever it can’t hurt to help out a little, if not to avoid another disaster of her leaving again.

Ma is happier these days, everyone is. I can’t explain it but they just are…I think this was a change that even dad can accept.

Now standing in my room, well my old room after today. I stare out the window I took so much comfort in all those years ago. Things haven’t changed much around here. The yard is still filled with broken cars and heaps of junk. The oak tree still stands tall, though a little ways off there’s a new tree growing next to it. It’s not as gruff as the taller oak but no less strong, despite size. Somehow I’m reminded of Ma… silly, but true.

The sun shines brightly; I think it’s where my window is placed, as the room floods with golden light. Memories of my childhood come back; I don’t believe this is it… I’m moving out, into the world beyond our messy yard. Unsettling fear still lurks in the pit of my stomach, just like the rage used to lurk in Pa’s eyes. And no matter how much my brother’s tease me, or their wives wish me the best, Sylvie’s kind words, Ma’s gentle smile or even Pa’s gruff voice telling me to be a man. It still is there, I think it will always be there. Though not since that day long ago, when Ma and Sylvie ran away have I felt it. This helplessness.

Out the window, I see Daniel with his two sons, his wife Mary laughing happily as she watches them run around the yard. A game Pa used to play with us before we got too old. Everyone else is down there too, all smiling and chattering happily. My truck not far away already loaded and packed for the city. Ma and Pa are standing off to the side together, content on how there family turned out. Sylvie already moved out when she went to university, I’m the last one.

But still the fear creeps back; can I make it out there? I’m not as smart as Sylvie, strong like my brothers, I’m not manly like Pa filled with pride and Ma… - I see her standing by the tree, looking at the window, right at me. She smiles, just like she used to when ever it rained and she’d sit me on her lap and tell me a story. And like the rain, it washes away all my fears.

Ma, she was the brave one of us all. And if she can be brave, then so can I, but can I let go… that is better saved for a different day. Besides its not banishment I’ll be back for Christmas.

Feeling lighter with the weight off my shoulders, I take one last look around my safe haven. I think a smile somehow crept onto my face, as when I glanced in the mirror I was grinning like an idiot.

Making my exit, my hand still on the door handle, ready for one last fight on changing my mind. I see Ma coming up the stairs,

“Ya comin’ Jem, evryone tis watin’”

“Yeah, Ma I’m ready”

And with that I closed the door.

(Fin)

fanfiction

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