Mr. Jekyll and Dr. Hyde
Title: Mr. Jekyll and Dr. Hyde
Pairing: House/Cameron.
Summary: House reflects on Cameron’s last words to him.
Author's Note: Just a little something that takes place after Cameron leaves the last time.
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He used to be like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the two personalities all mixed into one man. He used to have a soft side that he just preferred to keep hidden. He used to put on a front. To keep people out? To stay respected? He doesn’t even know anymore. All he knew was Cameron finally went out with a bang. After resigning twice, she finally took a stand and left permanently.
He should have applauded her, bowed to her, hell even picked out a ‘Congratulations’ card for her, just because this is what he wanted all along. He wanted her to think for herself and stop worshipping him. Wasn’t it? Wasn’t this what he told himself every single time Cameron did something nice for him? Or treated him differently from all the others? He wasn’t so sure. Because now that she was gone, really gone, everything shifted into places he didn’t like. The workplace seemed gloomy, and his regular days seemed simple. The entire building felt different. A large shadow seemed to have plopped itself over it, making everyone and everything inside of it seem cold. There was no intrigue for people, and no mysteries to solve. Cameron was his biggest one; even though he claimed he could already read her perfectly. But now she was gone, and her parting words refused to leave his head.
He was surprised Cameron admitted to him what he knew all along, that she was in love with him for most of the time she worked for him, but those words were quickly forgotten when she closed the statement with her being an idiot for it. House’s heart scrunched. Of course she was an idiot for loving him, anyone who even considered having something meaningful with him was stupid, as he wasn’t worthy of it. Then they started talking about the formalities, the rules of life and how he didn’t follow any of them. And the funny thing is that she was right.
He noticed the change in himself in the past year; noticed his feelings slowly deteriorate, his cruel mind slowly taking over the job he used to think had heart and soul. But he figured it was just the way he was supposed to end up, bitter and broken with no sign of repair. He just didn’t know anyone else noticed it too. Cuddy was usually all over him, not really paying attention to what he was doing, unless it involved her. Wilson understood more, but still came up short. When Cameron uttered those words on how she felt sorry for him because there was no going back, House knew something inside himself had gone terribly wrong.
And then she did her signature move, the one that she always parted with, the one he always protested to take. It was that damn handshake, it was her long slim arm outstretched as if to close whatever discussion they were having. Each time she did it, he never took it. Because in truth, he was never done with their conversations; never satisfied with how they would end. There were always words that were never spoken, always feelings that went unnamed. He hated incompletions; and was always left with one from Cameron.
House leaned back in his desk chair, running his hands over his now cleanly shaven head. He thought it would symbolize something like a new beginning, but instead it just maximized his old habits. What did he do now? Could he really try to change his ways? Could he really go back to how he was, when he still cared about what happened to his patients? Cameron didn’t seem to think so, but he wanted to prove her wrong. He wanted to do something that would shock her into coming back and seeing it for herself.
He almost went after her. Almost stopped her and told her she was wrong, and that she wasn’t stupid to love him because he could try being capable of it back. It had been over 5 years since she came to work for him, and in those 5 years the only thing that stayed constant was Cameron’s belief in him. It was the only thing that held him steady some days, just knowing someone still believed he could do good at the end of the day. That was gone now. She was gone now, and all of her beliefs and all of her goodness went with it.
A knock on the glass door woke him out of his thoughts. It was Cuddy, her skirt still tight and short, her face still scrunched in concern for his mood. He nodded at her, showing it was okay that she came in but didn’t bother to sit up straight. She sauntered in, and sat in one of the chairs facing his desk.
“House,” She said her raspy voice still evident, “Are you okay?”
His eyes traveled up to hers. “Yes.”
He couldn’t stop his wall from rising up, from taking over his body and giving people what they didn’t want to hear. He knew Cuddy didn’t like his response, but wouldn’t fight him over it. This was something Cameron was in fact good for. She knew how to crack other people open even if she didn’t crack much herself. And he knew why; she just cared that much.
But she stopped caring, essentially, and left. And now there really was no hope for him changing. He was Mr. Hyde completely now, with no way of turning back into the doctor. This is what his life had become; this is what he had become. Who would accept him this way? He looked straight ahead and found his answer.
It seemed that for now, Cuddy would just have to do.
Pairing: House/Cameron.
Summary: House reflects on Cameron’s last words to him.
Author's Note: Just a little something that takes place after Cameron leaves the last time.
-
He used to be like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the two personalities all mixed into one man. He used to have a soft side that he just preferred to keep hidden. He used to put on a front. To keep people out? To stay respected? He doesn’t even know anymore. All he knew was Cameron finally went out with a bang. After resigning twice, she finally took a stand and left permanently.
He should have applauded her, bowed to her, hell even picked out a ‘Congratulations’ card for her, just because this is what he wanted all along. He wanted her to think for herself and stop worshipping him. Wasn’t it? Wasn’t this what he told himself every single time Cameron did something nice for him? Or treated him differently from all the others? He wasn’t so sure. Because now that she was gone, really gone, everything shifted into places he didn’t like. The workplace seemed gloomy, and his regular days seemed simple. The entire building felt different. A large shadow seemed to have plopped itself over it, making everyone and everything inside of it seem cold. There was no intrigue for people, and no mysteries to solve. Cameron was his biggest one; even though he claimed he could already read her perfectly. But now she was gone, and her parting words refused to leave his head.
He was surprised Cameron admitted to him what he knew all along, that she was in love with him for most of the time she worked for him, but those words were quickly forgotten when she closed the statement with her being an idiot for it. House’s heart scrunched. Of course she was an idiot for loving him, anyone who even considered having something meaningful with him was stupid, as he wasn’t worthy of it. Then they started talking about the formalities, the rules of life and how he didn’t follow any of them. And the funny thing is that she was right.
He noticed the change in himself in the past year; noticed his feelings slowly deteriorate, his cruel mind slowly taking over the job he used to think had heart and soul. But he figured it was just the way he was supposed to end up, bitter and broken with no sign of repair. He just didn’t know anyone else noticed it too. Cuddy was usually all over him, not really paying attention to what he was doing, unless it involved her. Wilson understood more, but still came up short. When Cameron uttered those words on how she felt sorry for him because there was no going back, House knew something inside himself had gone terribly wrong.
And then she did her signature move, the one that she always parted with, the one he always protested to take. It was that damn handshake, it was her long slim arm outstretched as if to close whatever discussion they were having. Each time she did it, he never took it. Because in truth, he was never done with their conversations; never satisfied with how they would end. There were always words that were never spoken, always feelings that went unnamed. He hated incompletions; and was always left with one from Cameron.
House leaned back in his desk chair, running his hands over his now cleanly shaven head. He thought it would symbolize something like a new beginning, but instead it just maximized his old habits. What did he do now? Could he really try to change his ways? Could he really go back to how he was, when he still cared about what happened to his patients? Cameron didn’t seem to think so, but he wanted to prove her wrong. He wanted to do something that would shock her into coming back and seeing it for herself.
He almost went after her. Almost stopped her and told her she was wrong, and that she wasn’t stupid to love him because he could try being capable of it back. It had been over 5 years since she came to work for him, and in those 5 years the only thing that stayed constant was Cameron’s belief in him. It was the only thing that held him steady some days, just knowing someone still believed he could do good at the end of the day. That was gone now. She was gone now, and all of her beliefs and all of her goodness went with it.
A knock on the glass door woke him out of his thoughts. It was Cuddy, her skirt still tight and short, her face still scrunched in concern for his mood. He nodded at her, showing it was okay that she came in but didn’t bother to sit up straight. She sauntered in, and sat in one of the chairs facing his desk.
“House,” She said her raspy voice still evident, “Are you okay?”
His eyes traveled up to hers. “Yes.”
He couldn’t stop his wall from rising up, from taking over his body and giving people what they didn’t want to hear. He knew Cuddy didn’t like his response, but wouldn’t fight him over it. This was something Cameron was in fact good for. She knew how to crack other people open even if she didn’t crack much herself. And he knew why; she just cared that much.
But she stopped caring, essentially, and left. And now there really was no hope for him changing. He was Mr. Hyde completely now, with no way of turning back into the doctor. This is what his life had become; this is what he had become. Who would accept him this way? He looked straight ahead and found his answer.
It seemed that for now, Cuddy would just have to do.