Comments | nevillexhannah: Moments After the War

deepwonderment in nevillexhannah

Moments After the War

Jul 20, 2008 15:50

This was written for someone at portus_envy. Now that Portus is over I finally decided to cross post it.

Title: Moments After the War
Paring: Neville/Hannah
Rating: G
Word Count: 382
Summary: What Neville did at the end of the Battle of Hogwarts.
Warnings: DH Spoliers. Unbeta’d. I’d love some honest feedback
Moments After The War

rating: g, fanfic

Comments 1

vegablack62 July 20 2008, 21:42:38 UTC

I was really pleased to see a new story appear at NevilleXHannah. I enjoyed reading this. You asked for honest feedback, so I thought I would give you some. The story needed to be longer. I understand the sacrifices to keep stories short, but I would love to see the moments in this story developed. Tell more about Neville's feelings about Hannah when he looks at her bunk. Have him actually babble when she silences his babbling by kissing him. I felt several parts could have been expanded to the improvement of the whole.

But I was glad you posted. Thanks for writing this.