Checkmate

Jun 09, 2012 13:21

Title: Checkmate
Rating: M
Word Count~2800
Disclaimer: don't own them.
Summary:  Bill and Laura fight, make-up, fight again, and frak.  There's also a lot of discussion about cylons, parenting, and dealing with loss.



Give me the lover who yanks open the door
of his house and presses me to the wall
in the dim hallway, and keeps me there until I’m drenched
and shaking, whose kisses arrive by the boatload
and begin their delicious diaspora
through the cities and small towns of my body.

-From “For Desire” by Kim Addonizio

The walk back to Commander Adama’s quarters from Dr. Baltar’s lab was one of the longest walks in Laura’s recent memory.  His anger was so palpable, but he refused to say a word.  The silence was worse for Laura than the impending screaming match would be.

After the Tighs and Lee left the lab, the good doctor promised he’d have the Commander’s results ready the following day.  It was his way of asking the warring leaders to kindly leave his workspace.  But Adama wasn’t done with his President yet.

“Madame President, I believe we have more to discuss.  If you’d accompany me to my quarters.”

Checkmate.  Laura had nothing to say against that.  It was a perfectly reasonable sounding request.  Plus, it was better to deal with these things head on, rather than let them fester.  Assuming Adama was human, she’d need him to defend the fleet; it wouldn’t do to prolong their conflict.

“Of course, Commander.  Lead the way.”

So they walked in silence to his quarters.  Commander Adama was clearly angry, and Laura was keyed up too.  Dinner with the Tighs was exasperating--she certainly understood the Commander’s reservations against Ellen.  She found herself wishing Ellen actually were a Cylon--if the Cylons were like Ellen and Doral, humanity might actually stand a chance.  But the good doctor cleared her.  There were still 10 models unaccounted for.

When they reached his quarters, Bill rounded on her before he even closed the hatch completely.  He had her backed up against the bulkhead, holding her by the shoulders, firmly but not too tightly.  Laura was surprised but not afraid; for reasons she couldn’t explain, she felt safe with the Commander, no matter how angry or strong he was.

“I can’t believe you!”

“Me?  What about you?”

“You think I’m a Cylon, really?”

“How am I supposed to know, Commander?  You were keeping things secret even from your XO.  What was I supposed to think?”

“And what right do you have to spy on me on my own ship?”

“Remember what I said about being the President?”

“You don’t have to answer to anyone.” He said that under his breath.

“That’s right, and especially not to someone I think may be a cylon.”

“How do I know you’re not a cylon?”

“Leap of faith, Commander, at least until my results come back.”

“You expect me to take that leap, yet you won’t for me.  I’m surprised you’re in the room with me, if you think I’m a cylon.”

“Not much you could do to me.”  Laura said this with a combination of fearlessness and wistfulness on her face.  Bill missed neither.

“I could kill you.” Bill could barely bring himself to utter those words, but he wanted to understand why she didn’t seem afraid of a possible cylon.  The last thing he needed was for an actual cylon to get to her.  She may have been a pain in the ass and guilty of deception, but humanity could do much worse for a leader and couldn’t do much better.  President Roslin was an effective leader, regardless of his opinions of her.

For a moment, Laura thought that would almost be a gift, a quicker death than the one in store for her, but she needed to carry on as long as she could, and she sensed no real danger from Adama.  Those blue eyes held too much kindness in them.  “It wouldn’t be a good idea, though.”

Of all her possible responses, Bill didn’t see that one coming.  She was appealing to his logic.  And her eyes were flashing defiantly in spite of the calm tone with which she spoke. He raised his eyebrows in interest and asked, “No?”

“No.  Everyone knows I’m in here with you.  And my security detail’s right outside. I turn up dead, they’ll all know you’re either a cylon or a killer. Either way it’ll be bad for you.”  Her beautiful eyes really came alive then.  And he was staring right into them.

She was unbelievable, feigning concern for his wellbeing instead of defending her own.  “I guess that would be the wrong move.”

“Yeah. Plus, it would be much better for you to convince me you’re not a cylon and get the President of the Twelve Colonies to trust you.”

“But would you?”

“Try me.”

“Even after you just told me that was the right play?”

“Not sure a cylon would listen to me.  Doral had no respect for me.” She said this matter-of-factly without an ounce of self-pity.  But it touched Bill anyway.  For some reason, he wanted her to know how formidable she was.

“Doral was also an idiot and wearing the worlds worst suit.”

Laura cracked a smile. “Yeah, what were they trying to accomplish there?”

“Frak if I know.”

“They didn’t cover that in the meetings?”

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“I was so angry with you, and now...” He relaxed his grip on her shoulders, seeming to remember he’d been acting with impropriety.  He made no apology, though.  Laura wasn’t sure she wanted one.

“Politician, remember?”

“How could I forget?”

“And for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a cylon.”

“No?”

“No.”

“What changed your mind?”

“Your face when you talked about Zak.  No machine could feel a loss so greatly.”  Her smile had turned into the same sympathetic look she gave him at dinner.

“I guess you’d know.”

“Who wouldn’t at this point?”

“But you do in particular, don’t you?”

“Yes.”  She had a very pained expression.  Bill guessed she’d been hurt very badly and had never really gotten over it.

“You don’t want to talk about it, do you?”

“Did you want to talk about Zak?”

“No.”

“Then you understand.”

“How’d you cope?”

“I changed my life.”

“How?”

“Entered politics.”

“Interesting choice.”

“It was better than the other option I had at the time.”

“I guess I should be grateful for that, then.”

“How’s that?”

“Who knows who’d be President right now if you hadn’t?”

“Probably Wallace Gray.”

“Who?”

“He’s from the government too; he probably would have gotten my job if I didn’t.”

“I doubt we would get along.”

“Not that we do much better.”

“I don’t know, you’re growing on me.”

“Hmm. You’re not so bad either.”

“Except that we both might be cylons.”

“Wouldn’t that be funny?”

“What?”

“If we were both cylons.  Think of the irony.”

“I’d prefer not to.”

“Hmm.  You like facts, I forgot.”

“And you like hypotheticals.”

“I like to think of it as outside-the-box thinking.”

“Interesting.”  His eyes became distant.

“What?”

“Just thought of something I never realized before.”

“Now, you’ll have to tell me, Commander.”

“You reminded me a little of Starbuck, just then.”

“Lt. Thrace?”

“Yeah.”

“Considering her esteem with you, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should, that girl will probably save us all.”

“You really love her.”

“She’s my daughter.”  Laura was moved by how deeply the man in front of her loved his family and crew.

“I’m sure she appreciates that.”

“I don’t know.  That’s not really how we--”

“Neither of you really talk about your feelings, do you?”

“No.”

“I guess proximity can be enough.”

“For us, it is.”

“Good.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Do you have anyone?”

“I’m the President, I can’t afford to.”

“What about Billy?”

“He’s a good kid.”  She couldn’t say much more than that; not to a possible cylon, and not to a potential opponent.

“That’s it?  He’s a good kid?”

“What about Lee?  Does he know how you feel about him?”

“He’s my son.”

“But does he know you love him?”

“I hope so.”

“Seems like something to address.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about that.” His words belied the obvious anger he felt.

“Fine.”

Laura was willing to let the subject drop entirely.  She regretted bringing it up; it was a bad move on her part.  She mentally kicked herself for thinking deflection would be a good idea with that man.  Commander Adama, however, was not willing to let it go.

“Of course, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger.”

“Let’s not start that.”

“Sometimes, he’s more your advisor than he is my son.”

Laura knew what was happening inside the Commander’s head.  She had seen and heard many parents act that way in the midst of a divorce.  Of course, that was never directed at her, but she knew, in Adama’s mind, they were fighting over Lee.  And she didn’t have time for it.

“Stop.  Okay.  I’m not your ex-wife; this isn’t a custody battle.  Lee’s an adult capable of making his own decisions.  I’m not taking him from you.  You did that on your own.”

“I....”  He really didn’t have anything to say.  The two leaders stood, facing off for a moment. Laura thought it would be a good idea to compliment Lee.

“He’s a wonderful young man.  You should be proud.”

“I am.”

“Hmm.”

“He’s my son; I know how to treat him.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.  And what do you know?  You don’t have children, do you?”  He was lashing out at her, and he wasn’t fighting fair.

“No.”  Laura thought of the children she might have had if things were different.  She thought of the family she had lost, and she grew angry that Bill thought he had the monopoly on loss.

“Then what can you possibly know about raising them or losing one?”  Bill saw how much he had hurt her, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“I should go.”  Laura knew she’d reached her point.  She had always exemplified stormy tranquility.  For the most part, she was always able to keep calm, but when she reached her point, it wasn’t good.  Laura knew there were two possibilities:  extreme anger or bursting into tears, or even a third: getting angry and crying at the same time.  She wasn’t willing to do any of those things in front of Adama.  If she could just hold it together until she reached her shuttle, or better yet, until she returned to Colonial One.

“Wait.  I...”  He gripped her shoulders tighter, but not aggressively.

“I suggest you let go of me, Commander.”

Her completely calm tone terrified him, and he complied with her wishes. “I wouldn’t--”

“Kill me?  I should hope not.”

“I was going to say I wouldn’t hurt you.  But I already have.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“I see the pain in your eyes.  I guess you’re not a cylon either.”

“Congratulations, Commander.  You created your own cylon detector.  Now I really need to leave.”

She turned the hatch and walked into the corridor, closing the hatch behind her.  Bill watched her go, stupefied.  He knew he had hurt her, and he was sorry.  Bill wasn’t even sure why he had lashed out; it was clear she cared about Lee; he should be proud such a fine person had taken his son under her wing, but instead he felt threatened.  Commander Adama knew one thing:  he couldn’t let her leave Galactica.  If the President left like that, things between them would be frosty at best.  He had to go after her.

Laura had hoped she could hold it together until she reached her shuttle.  There was no such luck.  She lasted until she closed the hatch behind her.  But at least her sobs were quiet, and it was late, so there weren’t people milling about in the corridors.  And she trusted her security detail not to say anything.  President Roslin was frustrated with herself for crying; the Commander hadn’t said anything she didn’t already know.  But he said it so exactingly; he wanted to hurt her, and he did.  Even if he wasn’t a cylon, he was dangerous--at least to Laura.  He was no danger to the fleet; she knew he would fight to defend the fleet, if only to appease his son.  Laura dreaded her future dealings with the man.  She hadn’t gotten very far when she heard the hatch open.

Bill ran into the corridor.  She was surrounded by her security detail, so he had to approach the situation carefully.  Laura turned to face him, and he could see the tears he’d caused.  It was time to act.

“Madame President, our business isn’t concluded.”

“I think it is, Commander. Good evening.”

“I need your advice on something.” Bill was lying, and she knew it, but he had to say something that wouldn’t alert her detail.

“In that case, I’d be happy to help.”

Laura whispered instructions to her detail to wait outside for her, not knowing how long she’d be.  She took Adama’s offered arm and followed him back into his quarters.

That time it was Laura who spoke first, after Bill closed the hatch.

“What do you want?”

Bill didn’t really have an answer, so he reached out to wipe away her tears.  He was never good at apologizing anyway; he hoped the gesture would be enough.  It wasn’t.

Laura batted his hand away.  She didn’t want to be touched, didn’t want his pity.

“If that’s all you wanted, Commander, I’ll be leaving.”

“Don’t go.”

“Why not?”

“It’s between us; we need to work together.”

“What’s between us?  I don’t understand.”

“Everything’s between us.  The fleet, humanity, the future.”

“Right.  And we’ll work together.”

“Will we?”

“I’m not going to let tonight jeopardize anything related to the fleet.  I’d hope you wouldn’t either.”

“But, shouldn’t things be better between us?”

“We’ll never see eye-to-eye.”

“Maybe not.”

“So...”

“I don’t know where to go from here.”

“Then, we should let it drop for tonight.  We’ll talk more tomorrow.  For all we know, you’re a cylon, and I’ll have to airlock you anyway.”

“In that case, I want one last request.”

“What’s that?”

Bill pulled her into his arms and crashed his mouth against hers.  She resisted but only for a second or two.  Their tongues fought their own war.  When he broke the kiss, she smacked him across the face.

“That was a delayed reaction.”

“I’m probably human then.”

They both started to laugh.  It was a nice light moment in the midst of everything that was between and around them.

“You probably want to talk about this,” Bill said.  He knew women always wanted to talk about things.

“Let’s add it to the list.”

They laughed again.

“You know...” Laura started.

“What?”

“Since we already have a list started--”

Bill didn’t need for his President to finish her sentence.  He took her in his arms again, pushed her against the bulkhead, like he had when their argument started, but everything about his actions was completely different.  And Laura reciprocated everything he did.  It was chaos.

Bill kissed her hard, his teeth nibbling her bottom lip, his tongue fighting for entry.  His struggle wasn’t in vain.  Laura quickly opened to him.  Their tongues dueling for dominance, and neither would surrender.

Their hands seemed to move of their own accord.  Bill’s hands started out on her shoulders, holding her in place against the bulkhead.  They wandered from their original location, traveling down her arms, making their way to the opening of her jacket.  Laura’s hands followed a similar trajectory, slowly making their way to the clasp holding Bill’s service dress coat closed.

They broke the kiss to remove their jackets.  Then their mouths explored the new terrains that were uncovered.  Laura moved her hands from his chest, down to his belt buckle.  Bill’s hands moved from her breasts to the zipper of her skirt.  His belt fell, the brass buckle clacking on the hard floor.  Her skirt went next, followed by his trousers.  The Commander moved her panties to the side, making sure she was ready.  She was.  She moaned as his fingers worked inside her.  When he pulled them out, she sighed, but she didn’t have to wait long.

Bill pulled down his boxers and then her panties.  Then he pushed inside her.  He held Laura steady as he thrusted into her.  After she came around him, he let go.

They stood in silence as they caught their breath.  They fixed their respective uniforms.

“I should probably go, Commander.”

“Goodnight, Madame President.”

“You too, Commander.”

“And...”

“Yes?”

“If you ever want to talk, I’m ready to listen.”

“About my family you mean?”

“Or anything.”

“What if I’m never ready?”

“Then you’re not.”  Bill gave her his friendliest smile, which she returned.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Laura gave Bill a quick peck on the cheek, which seemed more intimate than anything else that had happened that night.  Then she turned the hatch and left his quarters, closing the hatch behind her.

Bill shook his head in wonder and got ready for bed.

a/r

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