I'm just nothing. That's just who I've become
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Just finished watching GG 1x02. There were many things I loved about it, but I was a lot less squee-y. I feel like I should be proud of that. Also, I still can't get over the perfectness of that sequence in 1x01 wth JT's "What goes around comes around"
I have to say, I've been in love with Leighton Meester for a long time now. I mean, I loved her as VM's Carrie Bishop and often wished they would bring her back and slashed her with Veronica. Whatever she's selling, I'm buying. So it was no surprise she looked so good as Blair in her nighties, and delivered the lines perfectly. But Serena's dismay when B told her she knew? I have a newfound respect for Blake Lively. Also: it's her meh face that is not pretty. Otherwise she's beautiful.
But back to what concerns me the most: S/B. I love how pissed S is at Nate for telling the truth; that alone tells me without words how big and stupid a mistake she considers they made, and how clear she knows this is killing Blair. That's why she puts up with everything B will throw her in the future without much complaint (or at least exercising a lot more patience than I would have), she knows how bad B is hurting (perhaps she suspects - from B's words - than B knew/suspected sth from the beginning, so she has an idea of how horrible the past year has been for B as well) and she knows how her coping mechanism is to lash out, so she can't quite be angry at her for being so mean (she probably thinks she deserves it too -- I'm not contradicting her, but I'm also not agreeing). So, why is she still paying attention to Nate? Why does she go up to Chuck's suite when it is so obviously wrong a move?
I think I answered to this in my 1x01 post: it's because they were the UES version of the Hogwarts trio. Except that in this case Harry and Ron are totally gay for each other and Hermione actually has the guts to stand up for what she feels (sort of). I mean, I don't like the fact that Nate sticks around when he clearly feels Blair and him are wrong or each other, but at this point he is doing it mostly for his family, which is (as we'll see in the future) his defining characteristic. He has some kind of feelings for Blair, which must play a part up to some point, but still, despite all of this? He goes to Serena. He has the guts to do so, and I think that if she actually felt for him, he would give up anything and everything for her. But that's a different story. I was trying to make a case for Serena here. She goes after Blair and tries to fix things because she needs her, and, furthermore, she knows they need each other. I suppose I'll elaborate on that some other time. The thing is, she also needs Nate. Because she is all alone, and I suppose that's something she has never experienced before. Sure, she spent the previous year at boarding school ("doing who knows what with who knows whom!" said Lilly, and I loved her for it, but no. She was there for entirely different reasons, sweetheart), but I can imagine her clutching her cellphone night after night and crying herself to sleep while watching that picture of Blair and herself, willing things to be better and not change, and working up the nerve to come back and make it right the only way she knows how: through denial.
And I guess I just had an epiphany here. As I said in my last post, I think there's a connection between Blair's control freak thing and Serena's wild ways, because we sort of are a result of who we are with and what we need to be with them. What I love the most about what little I've seen of this show is, precisely. S/B's friendship and how they take care of each other (because that's what friendship really means to me). Yes, Serena screwed up real bad, and I don't know if I could be friends with someone who had done that to me, but she spends the entire season running to Blair no questions asked whenever she needs her. She takes care of her. But I've suspected for quite some time now, that this is the exception, not the rule. That while she was the wild It girl the tables were turned, and it was Blair running after her (which kinda brings Nate to a new light really, because, if your girlfriend's life revolves around another female, particularly someone as irresistible as Serena, what choice do you have but to fall in love with her? You are kinda thrown into it, right? -- Boy, the fact that he has never used that excuse makes me love him a little). She was the troublemaker and Blair, while not a saint, was the one who solved things. And what is Blair's #1 move, when she's in over her head? Denial, as we'll see in 1x13. So there is sadscaredsmallalonebeautiful Serena, convincing herself that there *is* a way to fix this, so she clings to denial like a lifeline.
Yet now she's alone, and she's lost Blair for now, and she can't fix things with Nate because Blair Comes First (TM), so she finds herself a good guy -- exactly what she needs, as Rufus wisely states. Someone who will not leave her on her own even after what she's done, or so she thinks, because he hates the UES and what it stands for, and in spite of it likes her. She pleads with Blair not to tell him because her fear of being alone is stronger than all logic, but that is what she means by 'then you're not the person I thought you were', which sounded odd at first because they don't really know each other, right? Dan has had a crush on her forever, and everybody knows who she is, but she obviously hadn't noticed him until that night at The Palace bar. She knows his type though. The rest is just an added bonus.
Which brings me back, yet again, to the finale and how I fear that S/B will break S/D (or so it should). Although there was truce, and then there was friendship again between the girls, many have pointed out that for all that she loves her, B spends most of the season so wrapped up in her love life drama that she sort of ignores S, from time to time. That's when S/D blossom. But now B needs S 24/7, and to really see how much S cares for B and their relationship in this episode? I wouldn't be surprised if she were the 'bros over hos' reversed-gender type. Bad news Dan.
Aaaand. The other thing I loved is... Lilly!!! I loved her interactions with Dan, and her bitching to Rufus, and how she knows she is wrong. I love her, LOVE her. I love how real these characters are. I mean, there are things I hate about each of them, but they feel real, and I can't hate real people when I get to see the bigger picture, their motivations, fears, pain.
Last: it has just occurred to me that perhaps Jenny's change is, up to some point a consequence / some sort of reaction to her traumatizing experience with Chuck. You just don't walk away emotionally unscathed from something like that. Believe me, I should know.
That being said, I'm off to watch 1x03 and Blair Waldorf at her finest.
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Just finished watching GG 1x02. There were many things I loved about it, but I was a lot less squee-y. I feel like I should be proud of that. Also, I still can't get over the perfectness of that sequence in 1x01 wth JT's "What goes around comes around"
I have to say, I've been in love with Leighton Meester for a long time now. I mean, I loved her as VM's Carrie Bishop and often wished they would bring her back and slashed her with Veronica. Whatever she's selling, I'm buying. So it was no surprise she looked so good as Blair in her nighties, and delivered the lines perfectly. But Serena's dismay when B told her she knew? I have a newfound respect for Blake Lively. Also: it's her meh face that is not pretty. Otherwise she's beautiful.
But back to what concerns me the most: S/B. I love how pissed S is at Nate for telling the truth; that alone tells me without words how big and stupid a mistake she considers they made, and how clear she knows this is killing Blair. That's why she puts up with everything B will throw her in the future without much complaint (or at least exercising a lot more patience than I would have), she knows how bad B is hurting (perhaps she suspects - from B's words - than B knew/suspected sth from the beginning, so she has an idea of how horrible the past year has been for B as well) and she knows how her coping mechanism is to lash out, so she can't quite be angry at her for being so mean (she probably thinks she deserves it too -- I'm not contradicting her, but I'm also not agreeing). So, why is she still paying attention to Nate? Why does she go up to Chuck's suite when it is so obviously wrong a move?
I think I answered to this in my 1x01 post: it's because they were the UES version of the Hogwarts trio. Except that in this case Harry and Ron are totally gay for each other and Hermione actually has the guts to stand up for what she feels (sort of). I mean, I don't like the fact that Nate sticks around when he clearly feels Blair and him are wrong or each other, but at this point he is doing it mostly for his family, which is (as we'll see in the future) his defining characteristic. He has some kind of feelings for Blair, which must play a part up to some point, but still, despite all of this? He goes to Serena. He has the guts to do so, and I think that if she actually felt for him, he would give up anything and everything for her. But that's a different story. I was trying to make a case for Serena here. She goes after Blair and tries to fix things because she needs her, and, furthermore, she knows they need each other. I suppose I'll elaborate on that some other time. The thing is, she also needs Nate. Because she is all alone, and I suppose that's something she has never experienced before. Sure, she spent the previous year at boarding school ("doing who knows what with who knows whom!" said Lilly, and I loved her for it, but no. She was there for entirely different reasons, sweetheart), but I can imagine her clutching her cellphone night after night and crying herself to sleep while watching that picture of Blair and herself, willing things to be better and not change, and working up the nerve to come back and make it right the only way she knows how: through denial.
And I guess I just had an epiphany here. As I said in my last post, I think there's a connection between Blair's control freak thing and Serena's wild ways, because we sort of are a result of who we are with and what we need to be with them. What I love the most about what little I've seen of this show is, precisely. S/B's friendship and how they take care of each other (because that's what friendship really means to me). Yes, Serena screwed up real bad, and I don't know if I could be friends with someone who had done that to me, but she spends the entire season running to Blair no questions asked whenever she needs her. She takes care of her. But I've suspected for quite some time now, that this is the exception, not the rule. That while she was the wild It girl the tables were turned, and it was Blair running after her (which kinda brings Nate to a new light really, because, if your girlfriend's life revolves around another female, particularly someone as irresistible as Serena, what choice do you have but to fall in love with her? You are kinda thrown into it, right? -- Boy, the fact that he has never used that excuse makes me love him a little). She was the troublemaker and Blair, while not a saint, was the one who solved things. And what is Blair's #1 move, when she's in over her head? Denial, as we'll see in 1x13. So there is sadscaredsmallalonebeautiful Serena, convincing herself that there *is* a way to fix this, so she clings to denial like a lifeline.
Yet now she's alone, and she's lost Blair for now, and she can't fix things with Nate because Blair Comes First (TM), so she finds herself a good guy -- exactly what she needs, as Rufus wisely states. Someone who will not leave her on her own even after what she's done, or so she thinks, because he hates the UES and what it stands for, and in spite of it likes her. She pleads with Blair not to tell him because her fear of being alone is stronger than all logic, but that is what she means by 'then you're not the person I thought you were', which sounded odd at first because they don't really know each other, right? Dan has had a crush on her forever, and everybody knows who she is, but she obviously hadn't noticed him until that night at The Palace bar. She knows his type though. The rest is just an added bonus.
Which brings me back, yet again, to the finale and how I fear that S/B will break S/D (or so it should). Although there was truce, and then there was friendship again between the girls, many have pointed out that for all that she loves her, B spends most of the season so wrapped up in her love life drama that she sort of ignores S, from time to time. That's when S/D blossom. But now B needs S 24/7, and to really see how much S cares for B and their relationship in this episode? I wouldn't be surprised if she were the 'bros over hos' reversed-gender type. Bad news Dan.
Aaaand. The other thing I loved is... Lilly!!! I loved her interactions with Dan, and her bitching to Rufus, and how she knows she is wrong. I love her, LOVE her. I love how real these characters are. I mean, there are things I hate about each of them, but they feel real, and I can't hate real people when I get to see the bigger picture, their motivations, fears, pain.
Last: it has just occurred to me that perhaps Jenny's change is, up to some point a consequence / some sort of reaction to her traumatizing experience with Chuck. You just don't walk away emotionally unscathed from something like that. Believe me, I should know.
That being said, I'm off to watch 1x03 and Blair Waldorf at her finest.
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