the funniest, most brilliant, insane, stupidest, and all that thing happened to be earlier this evening....EVERYONE should read this, because this would only happen to someone like me, and its, funny ( Read more... )

Having 4 boys all under age 16, that all resemble the beautiful Gemini trait of shallow humor in the back of my car, is always somewhat entertaining. They find humor in rolling down my windows sticking their bodies halfway out of my car and flicking off every car they see with one hand and waving with the other. It's so delightful. At one point, we ( Read more... )

I was just lying in bed, pretending I was about to fall asleep. Trying to trick my body as usual. All of the sudden I am downstairs in the fridge making myself two sandwiches. I either slept walk down there out of pure hunger or, I was drunk. I don't believe I drank anything tonight. But I ate the two sandwiches anyway. They were good for being ( Read more... )

This is not how it's supposed to be.

Boy: hi ( Read more... )

If you have a problem with this just let me not know. Thanks ( Read more... )

I am so fucking sleepy that I'm completely awake, I just sneezed all over myself and my eyeliner has chosen to exist on every part of my face except my eyes. My dinner and lunch and basic all day meal consisted of various bags of chips. I just got home from work and I have about 500 gallons of liquor that drunk guys spilled on me. Tonight was ( Read more... )

Go to Farahs, the bar on the island, you know, by whataburger and all that nasty shit. Come in and buy a drink from me and give me HUGE tips in my panty hose. Or my lame ass shorts and shirt. Note: this isn't a strip bar. Thankyou. anywhere from 7 till 2 a.m I shall your bitch. So come. You will enjoy.

You will soon learn what if feels like to have someone you pretended with too much shut you out as if you never existed at all. Please enjoy every moment of it, and burn for me.

this is going to be a mess..I can already feel it. It's been like 6 months. Sounds like fun.