The choice is hers to believe in me...
Click to view"Are you ready?"
"As the day we met."
"You're adorable~"
Just starting this post with the latest Coheed&Cambria song. No lie, this is quickly becoming my all-time favorie CoCa song ever, and I can't help but grin and rock out to it every time I hear it. Hope you enjoy!
Update on the Sketch drama: So on Tuesday I was shown a facebook post that Sketch wrote up the night we had our intervention. The next time I see him I may not have the willpower to refrain from punching him in the throat. I may have to verbally rip him to teeny tiny little pieces instead. He wrote up this gargantuan post that can be summed up thusly: "The people I game with were mean and said that I am not a good friend. They called me out for being a rude person. They're right. I should change. Change is hard, so I won't. People are mean. Buy my art." The comments were full of people feeding his ego. Like, dude, if your idea of friends is people who think you can do no wrong, then you do you, but for the love of fuck go back to them and stop bitching when you want to be friends with someone else who calls you out on your assholery. Also, stop trying to peddle your art and complaining that no one buys it. You draw like a middle schooler, but think you're the best thing ever, and refuse to accept anyone's comments unless they say you're perfect. Even the best artists still keep learning, so follow their lead and go take a class or two, and stop trying to sell everyone your extremely disturbing porn. That's a niche market, not something everyone wants to see when they go about their daily lives. I was willing to attempt friendship, but after walking out of that conversation and immediately going on facebook to paint us as monsters who only told him he sucks as a human being, I have nothing left. He can crawl in a hole and stay there for eternity, as long as he is far away from me. I don't do well with people who pull that bullshit, and they don't usually walk away from our confrontations.
He did, at least, state that he is not coming to D&D, t least for a while, though he is going to Draco/Jerboa/Brony's apartment before D&D every weekend to play Smash with them all. I may just start showing up a bit later and waiting in my car until someone tells me that he is gone. It will not go well if I have to see him in person, at least until the extreme rage fades into regular anger. I like the rest of the guys. I have come a long way as a person, and try to show them my good, friendly side. I don't want them to see the not friendly side.
On a totally unrelated note, I have some upbeat news! To start off, my roommate moved out on Saturday. That evening, Draco and Flash came over. They helped me move my bookshelves and my desks out to the living room. They were awesome in putting up with my rearranging a few times to find a decent layout. The layout of my place looks normal at first, but then over time you start noticing everything is just slightly off. The room layouts are super inconvenient, so I am trying to find a way to make it all work. Once we found a good layout for now, we got all of my books, my computer, and my PS4 all set up. I had brought all of my old gaming systems and my whole gaming collection over earlier that afternoon, and I am waiting to get everything set up until I decide on a final layout. Once we got everything set up, we had some Chinese for dinner, and hung out for a while. They seemed to enjoy going through my books and my games, and we nerded out for a while about a couple of book serieses. We all had ice cream later in the evening, too. It was just an all-around really nice night hanging out.
On Sunday, my folks and I went couch shopping, since I still don't have any normal furniture beyond a dining room table with two chairs. After looking at the whopping two furniture stores in the area, I found a couch that I fell in love with. Color-wise it's silvery-grey, which I don't mind at all. I'm not big on bright colors, but I do like silver. Plus, it's not like white or cream or even worse some sort of pattern... I am a very plain person when it comes to fashion and style and decorating. My folks bought it for me as a housewarming/birthday/christmas gift. I am super excited, and it should be here in 6-8 weeks! The couch is super cushy, too, and pretty deep. I was originally looking at sofa beds so company had a place to sleep if needed, but this is wide enough that someone could comfortably sleep on it without risk of falling off. I am so excited for it to get here!
Man, nothing against my roommate at all, but I feel like a huge weight is gone from me. I don't like being around people all the time. When I am around people I feel like I am under a bunch of pressure, physically. Even if they are in a different room, the pressure is still there. I am uncomfortable and often feel too stressed to do much of anything at all. Like, I couldn't even read a book in my house if I was in my room and the only other person in the house was in the basement. Too much pressure. But now, even though I am in an apartment complex, I don't feel that pressure. It's amazing, the difference. I am really liking it.
I had a pretty shit life growing up, even until recently. But I always pushed through, telling myself and everyone else that someday I would be ok.
I think I've almost reached "someday".