(no subject)
Hello 'tubes. It has been a while. What crazy shenanigans have I missed on here this past week?
So, every year my mom and her friends go on a bar crawl to get in the holiday spirit. I'm usually recruited as damage control/PR rep/driver, and the pay is decent.
Two years ago, the theme was ugly sweaters.
This is this year's:
Scarves. The idea is, instead of buying each other useless shit, they draw names and have to make the ugliest motherfucking creations this side of crocs.
For the record, the only person in one of the bars to figure out what the fuck that was FROM A DISTANCE was a younger guy. That's a gold spray painted tampon angel with liner wings.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEBUS.
Yes, so. Welcome to the most depressing holiday I've ever had. Because of weather complications WHERETHEFUCKDIDALLTHATSNOWANDICECOMEFROMCANADAYOUSUCK we couldn't go to my uncle's for Christmas Eve. This has never happened before. Like, ever. Like, my dad's almost 70 and this was the first time he wasn't with his brothers and sisters. He sulked all night. It was pathetic.
So instead we played Cranium and ate toast and drank beer in my onesie, which was pretty spectacular. (Side note: I'm not willingly involving myself in any social situation ever again unless wearing my footie pajamas with the cartoon polarbears in hats and scarves is a viable clothing option.) And then we all gave up at nine and went to bed. Ho ho ho hum.
Whatever, it's over, let's move on to 2010 so the 2012 panic is that much closer.
So, every year my mom and her friends go on a bar crawl to get in the holiday spirit. I'm usually recruited as damage control/PR rep/driver, and the pay is decent.
Two years ago, the theme was ugly sweaters.
This is this year's:
Scarves. The idea is, instead of buying each other useless shit, they draw names and have to make the ugliest motherfucking creations this side of crocs.
For the record, the only person in one of the bars to figure out what the fuck that was FROM A DISTANCE was a younger guy. That's a gold spray painted tampon angel with liner wings.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEBUS.
Yes, so. Welcome to the most depressing holiday I've ever had. Because of weather complications WHERETHEFUCKDIDALLTHATSNOWANDICECOMEFROMCANADAYOUSUCK we couldn't go to my uncle's for Christmas Eve. This has never happened before. Like, ever. Like, my dad's almost 70 and this was the first time he wasn't with his brothers and sisters. He sulked all night. It was pathetic.
So instead we played Cranium and ate toast and drank beer in my onesie, which was pretty spectacular. (Side note: I'm not willingly involving myself in any social situation ever again unless wearing my footie pajamas with the cartoon polarbears in hats and scarves is a viable clothing option.) And then we all gave up at nine and went to bed. Ho ho ho hum.
Whatever, it's over, let's move on to 2010 so the 2012 panic is that much closer.