Fic Repost: Five missions Jack fatasizes about
For the sg1_five_things prompt 11.02:
1. There were a hundred little things Jack could have done that would have changed the way Kelowna had played out. When they found out what they were experimenting with, realized how powerful it might be, he could have wished them luck, promised to call, and been home in time for Jeopardy. When Daniel went off with Jonas that morning Jack could have made sure he had some backup - should have, would have it had hadn’t been clamping down on his own shit so hard by that point that he had stopped paying attention. When Daniel was looking for a way to say goodbye Jack could have refused to give him one, could have dug in his heels and told him to stay and Daniel would have. In some universe somewhere Jack had, and for a long time he would have given anything to be living in one of them.
But time gave him perspective. Ascension had taken Daniel away, but if he hadn’t gone, Jack would have lost him. He didn’t think much about Kelowna anymore.
2. Euronda. Not because it had fundamentally altered Carter’s perception of him, even if only the slightest bit. Not because afterwards, Daniel started noting ethical objections or concerns he had in the field in his mission reports whether he had voiced them or not, whether Jack had listened or not, just so that, for the record, they were there. It wasn’t a bad idea, really, and after he came back Daniel either didn’t remember doing it or had just gotten over the need.
He would have changed it for himself. Because he had started to get a weird vibe right around the same time that Daniel had, because he, too, had noticed the way Alar talked his way solicitously around questions he didn’t want to answer. Because he hadn’t needed Daniel to push him to know something was off, and Daniel had to push him anyway. Jack didn’t want to be that guy, and if he could go back and change it, he wouldn’t have been.
3. It wasn’t a mission, per say, but it was born from one, and Jack… he hadn’t handled the za’tarc thing well. He knew that. Hell, everyone who knew what the za’tarc thing was knew that. He could have spared a lot of people a lot of pain - spared Carter a lot of pain, if he approached it a little differently. Or cleaned up after himself afterwards. But he hadn’t.
4. Jack did a lot of things he thought he’d never do, stuck in Malachai’s time loop. He kissed Carter, which was…well, she’d never remember it and he’d never admit it, so at least he hadn’t made anything worse. He kissed Fraiser too, and wow, was her ex-husband an idiot. He kidnapped Siler and took him on a field trip to the planet with those para-gliding machines. He stole a bike and hit the interstate already going 100, drove without stopping just to see how far he could get, eventually got into a police chase that Jack liked to think would have made it onto one of those TV shows if it had been for real.
He didn’t do anything real. He didn’t call Sara. He didn’t actually talk to Carter about whatever it was between them. He didn’t talk to Daniel about it, either. He didn’t do a single thing that he would have to live with knowing he remembered and they didn’t, and that was the right decision. He wondered what would have happened, though. If he had.
5. He wished he could have saved Kawalsky. There were a hundred faces Jack carried around, people that should have been alive that weren’t, some he could have helped, mostly ones that had always been out of his hands. Fraiser... But, God, they were stupid then, stumbling around blind with their hands out in front like that would do a damn thing. He wished it could have been different. He wished he had known.
1. There were a hundred little things Jack could have done that would have changed the way Kelowna had played out. When they found out what they were experimenting with, realized how powerful it might be, he could have wished them luck, promised to call, and been home in time for Jeopardy. When Daniel went off with Jonas that morning Jack could have made sure he had some backup - should have, would have it had hadn’t been clamping down on his own shit so hard by that point that he had stopped paying attention. When Daniel was looking for a way to say goodbye Jack could have refused to give him one, could have dug in his heels and told him to stay and Daniel would have. In some universe somewhere Jack had, and for a long time he would have given anything to be living in one of them.
But time gave him perspective. Ascension had taken Daniel away, but if he hadn’t gone, Jack would have lost him. He didn’t think much about Kelowna anymore.
2. Euronda. Not because it had fundamentally altered Carter’s perception of him, even if only the slightest bit. Not because afterwards, Daniel started noting ethical objections or concerns he had in the field in his mission reports whether he had voiced them or not, whether Jack had listened or not, just so that, for the record, they were there. It wasn’t a bad idea, really, and after he came back Daniel either didn’t remember doing it or had just gotten over the need.
He would have changed it for himself. Because he had started to get a weird vibe right around the same time that Daniel had, because he, too, had noticed the way Alar talked his way solicitously around questions he didn’t want to answer. Because he hadn’t needed Daniel to push him to know something was off, and Daniel had to push him anyway. Jack didn’t want to be that guy, and if he could go back and change it, he wouldn’t have been.
3. It wasn’t a mission, per say, but it was born from one, and Jack… he hadn’t handled the za’tarc thing well. He knew that. Hell, everyone who knew what the za’tarc thing was knew that. He could have spared a lot of people a lot of pain - spared Carter a lot of pain, if he approached it a little differently. Or cleaned up after himself afterwards. But he hadn’t.
4. Jack did a lot of things he thought he’d never do, stuck in Malachai’s time loop. He kissed Carter, which was…well, she’d never remember it and he’d never admit it, so at least he hadn’t made anything worse. He kissed Fraiser too, and wow, was her ex-husband an idiot. He kidnapped Siler and took him on a field trip to the planet with those para-gliding machines. He stole a bike and hit the interstate already going 100, drove without stopping just to see how far he could get, eventually got into a police chase that Jack liked to think would have made it onto one of those TV shows if it had been for real.
He didn’t do anything real. He didn’t call Sara. He didn’t actually talk to Carter about whatever it was between them. He didn’t talk to Daniel about it, either. He didn’t do a single thing that he would have to live with knowing he remembered and they didn’t, and that was the right decision. He wondered what would have happened, though. If he had.
5. He wished he could have saved Kawalsky. There were a hundred faces Jack carried around, people that should have been alive that weren’t, some he could have helped, mostly ones that had always been out of his hands. Fraiser... But, God, they were stupid then, stumbling around blind with their hands out in front like that would do a damn thing. He wished it could have been different. He wished he had known.