Miracle for Us Chapter 19
Title: Miracle For Us Chapter 19
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, Kim Kibum, Ryeowook, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Eric, Hyesung
Pairing: YeWon, slight!RicSyung
Genre: Mpreg!AU, Fluff
Rating: PG-15
Warning: Heavy Mpreg.
Disclaimer: Fiction. I only own the plot and the story.
“Baby are you alright?” Siwon asks his husband.
Yesung’s face looks so pale, and his eyes are becoming red. The petite pregnant man couldn’t stop playing with his fingers and more than once Siwon has to stop him from biting his nails.
Yesung seems to be awaken from his trans as he jolts a little too visible and immediately forcing a small, curt smile to his husband’s direction.
“Oh, yes, why?” he answers, but his eyes don’t meet Siwon’s. Instead, the florist is looking around the room, as if searching for something or someone.
“You… look pale. Something on your mind?” Siwon follows his husband’s eyes, looking around the ballroom full of people in their evening attires.
“It’s… so hot here isn’t it? I must… go, fresh air,” Yesung gets up from his seat hastily, taking his husband aback.
“What?” Siwon can’t even form a proper response when Yesung dashes away.
“Yesung?” Hyesung from across the table asks in wonder to Siwon, who is looking at Yesung’s back walking away from their table.
“I don’t know,” Siwon looks back at the older man in confusion.
“He looks weird,” Hyesung says, with wary eyes. “Did you do or say something?” suddenly he eyes Siwon sharply.
The young lawyer is of course taken aback by the question.
“No! Of course not…” Siwon frowns, getting a little annoyed at the older man. The guy is apparently Yesung’s bodyguard who loves to blame him on everything, even when they barely know each other.
They both become silent, don’t have anything to talk about to each other. It even seems as if they dislike each other, if one doesn’t know better.
“Woah, what a night…” Siwon’s father comes to the table a few minutes later, a glass of white wine in his hand. “Without these liquors I must’ve had escaped from this hell hole,” Eric is apparently a little tipsy.
“Aishh, Father are you drunk?” Siwon looks at him with visible annoyance in his face.
“No I’m not, of course I’m not,” the older lawyer sits beside Hyesung who is clearly getting more annoyed than anyone else in the table. “Hyesung-ssi I’m sorry I keep talking to people, you know, partners…”
“That’s okay,” Hyesung answers curtly, eyes watching the man beside him with a frown.
“You’re so understanding and so sweet,” Eric mumbles while smiling sheepishly to the other guy. Then he pays his son some attention, as if just realizing something. “Siwon-ah, you’re here? I thought you were with Yesung out there.”
“He’s looking for some fresh air,” Hyesung says in Siwon’s stead.
Siwon lifts his eyebrows. Really, this Hyesung guy is obsessed with his husband!
“I didn’t know Yesung knows that one friend of yours,” Eric continues. “That Korean guy from America? This is surely a small world. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone but me.” The older lawyer puts down his wine glass on the table and shakes his head.
A frown comes back to Siwon’s chiseled face. “What do you mean?”
“Yeah Yesung was talking with that guy, and both seemed so serious. They even look like they’re bickering.”
“What? So weird,” Siwon tries to remember if his husband had ever met Kibum before. But he can’t remember a thing.
“Go find him, Siwon-ah,” Hyesung’s voice hits the young lawyer like a shock. “I feel weird about this.”
“Oh, right, I’ll find him,” Siwon gets up from his chair. “Father, where?”
Eric points to the direction of the main entrance. “Outside,” he says, then he rubs his forehead as if trying to clear his mind.
Confusion clouds Siwon’s mind. Yesung and Kibum are talking? Bickering?
He gets to the entrance and cautiously searching for the two left and right. He doesn’t see them. There are only some catering people walking around, managing the foods and drinks.
“Excuse me, have you seen a pregnant man passing by?” he decides to ask a waitress who is busy arranging some canapés.
“Yes, he went there following somebody,” she points at the corridor. “Maybe got into the restroom.”
Siwon sees the restroom plank and hurriedly walks there. “Thank you,” he says absentmindedly.
He enters the men’s restroom quietly and he can see Yesung from the mirror. But the one thing shocking him the most is that the pregnant husband of his is having tears running down his cheeks.
“What the…?” Siwon mumbles. But then he hears something.
“You married well. I’m happy for you.”
Siwon recognizes that voice. It’s Kim Kibum’s voice!
He tries to find Kibum from the back, by looking at the mirror, but that man can’t be seen.
“Stop lying! I don’t believe you!” Yesung’s voice is cracking. He looks so broken and sad in the mirror.
Suddenly Siwon remembers something. Something about a man named Kim Kibum and Yesung.
Is this Kim Kibum… that Kim Kibum? Yesung’s first love? His high school sweet heart Kim Kibum?
“What do you want me to say, Yesung?” Kibum’s voice sounds so weak, and even more broken than Yesung’s.
Siwon, for sure, has never heard that kind of voice from Kibum before. The Kibum he knows is a silent hard worker, he doesn’t talk much but he is so nice and funny.
“Say your real feelings, damn it!” Now the pregnant man really breaks in sobs, and he buries his face in his tiny palms.
“Yesung-ah…” finally the other guy in the restroom enters the mirror. “What for? It’s useless…”
“Just… for me?” Yesung says weakly, still sobbing. “So that I can breathe…”
“I don’t want to make you feel bad,” Kibum looks so messy and terrible with tears on his face and messy hair.
“Hiks…hiks…hiks…” Yesung’s cries feel like a stab in Siwon’s heart.
“You are happy with your husband and you two are expecting, so please don’t mind me. I’m just someone who works with your husband.”
“Don’t you understand? I can’t not mind you! I can’t! When I know how miserable you are!” Yesung basically shouts, and his hands get off of his face to reveal the beauty of his bloated crying face. The pregnant man bashes the sink with his both hands in frustration.
“Oh my God, you’re still so beautiful,” Kim Kibum chuckles bitterly.
“You are…” Yesung is about to scream something at Kibum when his eyes meet Siwon’s in the mirror.
The lawyer sees how his husband’s eyes are getting as big as saucers and his mouth opens in silent panic. As if it’s in a slow-motion, Siwon watches how Yesung turns his head to his direction behind him, and swings so fast to Kibum beside him.
Siwon tries to smile at the crying pregnant man, but he really doesn’t expect Yesung to run so fast, passing him, and gets out of the bathroom to the corridor.
“Yesung-ah!” Siwon shouts. He turns around, preparing to chase his husband, but running Kibum bumps at him first.
“Si-Siwon-ah?” the younger man is shocked to see Yesung’s husband there.
“There’s no time, get him,” Siwon says absentmindedly and starts running already.
So both men follow the running Yesung outside to the corridor, but the pregnant man has already gone.
“Where…” Siwon asks the same waitress who answered him just a few minutes ago.
“He got into the elevator,” the waitress points with her chin to the elevator. Her hands are still busy arranging some canapés into a silver tray. “Please tell him it’s dangerous to run when he’s pregnant!” she tells the two men who are instantly dashing to the elevator without even saying thank you.
The elevator has gone down, and the other one is still going upstairs from the underground.
“Oh God…” Kibum covers his mouth with his palms. “What have I done?”
“Can we manage to catch him by the stairs?” Siwon doesn’t really listen. There’s only Yesung in his mind. “We’re in the top floor, how could we possibly do that…” he keeps talking to himself.
Kibum falls down to the floor, head hanging low.
Siwon fishes out his phone from his suit pocket, and immediately calls his husband’s cell. “Damn it, he’s turning it off…” angrily Siwon puts back his phone inside his pocket. And just then he sees the pathetic Kibum crying in silence on the floor beside him.
Then the scene of Yesung and Kibum in the male restroom replays in the lawyer’s mind. He feels a stinging pain as if he’s being slapped in the face when he remembers how Yesung said that he can’t not mind Kibum.
What was that supposed to mean?
“So you’re the first love,” Siwon says, trying his best to sound casual, positioning himself beside the crying secretary. Both men are kneeling in front of the closed elevator, both are broken hearted.
Kibum lifts his head and smiles bitterly. “Am I?”
“He told me everything, you know,” Siwon answers. “Why you left, how he waited for you, everything.”
Kibum doesn’t reply and just sits there, breathing heavily.
“My heart breaks for you, Kibum-ah.”
DING! The sound of another elevator opening. People gets out of the elevator and surprised to see two men in expensive suits kneeling in front of them.
“Wanna get some coffee?” Siwon offers, ignoring the curious stares of people.
Kibum frowns. “What about Yesung?”
Siwon smiles curtly. “He’s gone by now. I know him.”
Kibum gets up and he’s extending his hand to help Siwon gets up. The lawyer takes his hand and both of them enter the elevator.
There are only three people inside the elevator. Siwon, Kibum, and an old woman. The two guys are silent, both lost in their own thoughts. After what felt like a year for them, they arrive to the ground floor, where the hotel’s cafes are located.
They walk side by side, still without talking. Only Kibum’s heavy breaths are heard until they arrived at the café.
“Let me order. Espresso?” Siwon asks the younger guy.
Kibum just nods and goes to find seats for the two of them.
Five minutes later Siwon comes back with their espressos.
“I’ve texted all of Yesung’s friends that I know to inform me if he decides to crash at their place,” he says as he sits down in front of Kibum.
“Thank you for taking care of Yesung,” Kibum opens up. “At least I know he’s so loved and adored the way he deserves.”
Siwon gives the younger man his espresso and sips his own. “Millions of Kim Kibums in Korea and you are his ex,” he chuckles. “I work with you.”
“Yeah it’s a small world indeed,” Kibum snorts. He drinks his espresso and winced at the strong coffee.
“You don’t drink espresso?” Siwon asks, observing the younger’s reaction.
“Don’t really enjoy coffee in general, just was too polite to decline,” Kibum smiles.
Siwon’s phone rings at that moment, and he pouts when he reads the name on the screen. “I’m dead meat,” he mutters before answering the call. “Oh, we are on the way home,” he says hastily to the person on the phone. “Yes, he’s just having a slight migraine.”
Kibum drinks his espresso again and watches Siwon, amused. He can’t imagine what can possibly make this person so annoyed when he’s got Yesung by his side, forever?
“No, he’s sleeping beside me in his seat, so talk to you later, Hyesung-ssi,” Siwon cuts off the call and sighs. He puts his phone on the table and stares at Kibum. “Yesung is twenty weeks pregnant. He doesn’t want to know about the sex of our baby so we still have no idea. He craved for salt.”
“Good to know,” if Siwon doesn’t know better, he must’ve thought that Kibum’s glossy eyes are because he was so happy by the news.
“I don’t mean to rub off my happiness on you or anything. I just think that you have the right to know.”
“I know.”
The two men sit in silence once again. It’s 10 pm on the clock and Siwon watches how the pointer of seconds in his wristwatch is moving oh so slowly. It’s almost as if someone is playing with a time-turner and is stopping the time.
“Do you think Yesung is alright?” suddenly Kibum asks.
To be honest, Siwon doesn’t really know the answer to the question. “I just can hope so.”
“Do you think he went home?”
“I’m almost certain that he didn’t.”
“I’m curious about his flower shop,” says the younger. “He’s the pretty guy of the flower shop.” (a/n: referring to the Korean song “The Pretty Lady of The Flower Shop”).
“He really loves and treasures his shop,” Siwon smiles while grabbing his espresso. “Tons of flowers and he’s the prettiest.”
“I can imagine.”
“You can come if you want. I believe in you two,” Siwon puts his espresso down and looking at Kibum’s eyes.
Kibum chuckles. “I don’t know about that,” he shakes his head. “I’m a busy man.”
“I’m busier,” Siwon snorts. “In all seriousness though, nobody is texting me back about Yesung. I’m worried now.”
“Maybe he’s home?” Kibum speculates. “His phone’s still off?”
Siwon is already calling Yesung’s phone and nods. “Yap. My babies are going missing.”
“You know his favorite spots? Maybe places he usually visits every time he’s got a problem?”
“Maybe I will look at our home first,” Siwon says, getting up from his seat.
“I’m so sorry for everything, Siwon-ah…” Kibum also gets up. “I really didn’t mean to…”
“He followed you to the restroom, I knew it,” Siwon checks his wristwatch again.
“It’s not your fault, you two have a history together and I respect it. I just hope you two could move on,” he grabs his phone and walks out the café.
“Wait, Siwon-ah,” Kibum calls solemnly.
Siwon turns around and expectantly looks at the younger guy.
“I promise there won’t be anything happening between me and Yesung. I will never betray your trust.”
The lawyer simply smiles and turns around, leaving Kibum alone with his thoughts for real this time.
***
Siwon arrives home to find his house dark and empty. But Yesung could have just sit in the dark like last time, so he progresses to search for him inside anyways. Ten minutes later he gives up the idea and sits down on the sofa in frustration.
It’s a lie to say that Siwon is not in the least bothered by what just transpired between Yesung and Kibum right in front of his own eyes. He has never once doubting Yesung’s character in his life. He knows his husband is an honest, caring and empathetic person, but now Siwon can’t help but feeling insecure.
Although Siwon can understand that maybe Yesung is just feeling empathy for his ex-boyfriend, he can’t help the insecurity whispering another thing into his mind. What if his husband’s feelings for him had swayed?
I can’t not mind you!
That’s what he said. Was that merely empathic or the confused and swayed feelings spoken up?
His phone rings. It buzzes uncomfortably inside his pocket. Siwon quickly answers when he reads the name of the caller.
“Have you found Yesung?”
“No, do you have the slightest idea of where he could have been, Mi? Like anywhere?”
Zhoumi is silent for several seconds. “Hmm, knowing how sentimental Yesung can be, he must be alone in a mall, or a café,” he says. “But malls are closed at this hour so…that leaves us with cafes. I don’t know, Siwon-ah. There are tons of cafes in Seoul alone.”
“Did he ever mention a specific café he likes nowadays?” Siwon is thinking about grabbing his car key and just drives anywhere to find his husband.
“You know he’s not particular about any of those things,” Zhoumi replies. “Uhm, but you said he met Kibum, right, his ex?”
Siwon sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah.”
“Okay this is like, off the top of my head right now, but knowing how Yesung can be sentimental sometimes, maybe there’s something….”
“Cut to the case, Mi!” Siwon doesn’t mean to cut his husband’s best friend harshly, but hearing Zhoumi’s words about Yesung being sentimental, triggers something in him.
“Alright, alright,” Zhoumi sounds a bit annoyed but he continues anyway. “I just think that Yesung might be… in his high school right now.”
Siwon swears there’s someone turning on a light bulb inside his head. “Right! Well, that makes sense,” he quickly gets up and grabs his keys. “Thanks.”
He drives to Yesung’s high school, just a few kilometers from his house.
“God, I really hope you’re there, and not somewhere else, Sungie,” Siwon mutters while grasping tightly on the steering wheel. “It’s super late, and super cold. And it’s lucky it’s not snowing…”
The gate of the three storied high school building is closed, only revealing a tiny opening for a person to slide in. Siwon gets off the car and enters the gate, hoping that wherever Yesung is right now, he’s not stupid enough to just stand in the cold without proper warm clothes.
Nobody could be seen in the school’s wide yard. The place is quite dim and the only lights come from the main building across the yard. He walks there, not really sure about finding Yesung anymore. He could be just anywhere in this huge complex of school, or not even there at all. But his instinct guides him to go there anyways.
And his instinct is thankfully correct this time. His husband, it’s surely him, is sitting on the stair of the main building’s terrace with his face in his palms. His shoulders are shaking and anybody would know that the pregnant man is shaking in his crying.
Siwon approaches the crying, clueless man in silence, and when he’s beside him Yesung still hasn’t realizing that he’s there. Softly, Siwon wraps Yesung’s petite sitting body with a small blanket he’s bringing with him.
Yesung is startled and lifts his head in that second. And the sight of the pregnant man really breaks Siwon’s heart.
Yesung’s face is red and completely wet by his tears, his eyes are super swollen. And now that he’s sitting beside him, Siwon can clearly hear his sobs.
“Won-ie,” Yesung weakly calls.
“What do I have to do to you,” Siwon starts coldly, not even looking at Yesung beside him. “Crying over another guy in the cold.”
Yesung doesn’t answer for a moment. The two men just sit there quietly, Siwon with a cold face while Yesung trembles and shaking but still trying to control his sobs.
“It’s not like that,” Yesung finally breaks the silence.
“Then tell me what are you doing? What do you think I am?” Siwon explodes. His eyes are glaring at his pregnant husband.
Yesung visibly shrinks in fear now, and guilt is written all over his cute face. “Please…listen to me, Wonie…” he looks down his lap.
“Gosh you look so pitiful,” Siwon shakes his head annoyed. “If anybody sees us, they’ll think I’m the bad guy.”
“I apologize,” Yesung looks at Siwon again, his breaths ragged. “I was wrong, but you need to listen to what I have to say…”
“Fine, what now? Don’t tell me you still love that guy.”
“No!” Yesung quickly answers with high voice. “Of course not!”
“Then why are you…”
“It’s because he’s so pitiful!” Yesung screams desperately. “I pity him, Wonie! He’s alone, and seeing me broke his heart again!”
“I know you’re a nice person but…” Siwon tries to interrupt.
“This has nothing to do with me being nice! I mean, anybody would’ve felt the same!”
“Wait, wait, why are you the one screaming here?” Siwon asks irritated.
“You know our story, right?” Yesung suddenly ask in a calmer voice. “You know why I broke up with him?”
“But that’s not the case here…”
“Of course that’s the case, Wonie!” Yesung’s hands grab his hair in frustration. “He didn’t mean to hurt me. He was so hopeful that we’d be together again in the future. But for some reasons that didn’t happen. That’s why I don’t have any ill feelings towards him and now I feel sad because I’m the one breaking his heart…”
“So you felt guilty?” Siwon tries to see the rationality more clearly.
Yesung doesn’t answer. Instead he bits his nails while shaking his head.
His husband grabs the hand that the pregnant man’s biting and pulls it away from the mouth. “But it’s not your fault. You did your wait,” Siwon says in a calmer manner.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m crazy or something. But I feel so sad… mostly after the mall…” Yesung stares at the yard with an empty look.
“The mall?”
Yesung gasps as if he has let out something he’s not supposed to say. His eyeballs are moving frantically, and Siwon knows in an instant that his husband has yet another secret.
“What mall? Tell me,” Siwon demands, now fully facing Yesung and grabs his husband’s face to look directly at him.
“Er, I saw Kibum,” Yesung starts unsurely. “The day I was shopping for pregnancy clothes.”
“And…?”
“And he saw my stomach,” Yesung subconsciously looks down at his bulging stomach and caresses it softly. “And he asked me if I was married and everything…”
“You were with Mimi, right?” Siwon cuts him. He makes up his mind to ask Zhoumi about this too some day.
Yesung nods simply and continues, “And I’d never seen Kibum so sad and broken before. He clearly was devastated beyond believe. He was so shocked to see me again pregnant and married to another guy.”
“And that broke your heart too, seeing him so sad?”
“Yes! Knowing that I was the reason he’s so sad, and knowing that he still hasn’t forgotten me… it just hurt me so much.”
“You still care about him,” states Siwon flatly.
Yesung suddenly touches Siwon’s warm cheeks with his cold hands. “Of course,” he says solemnly. “But you need to understand, it’s no longer the same love I had for him… Wonie.”
“But why didn’t you tell me about the meeting at the mall? And why were you sneaking away from me? Just to see him?” Siwon swats Yesung’s hand away.
“Simply because I didn’t know how to explain to you… and I really thought that I will never see Kibum again, ever!” the pregnant man looks at Siwon with sad eyes. “How do I explain this without freaking out? Without making you mad and doubting my love for you?”
Yesung grabs Siwon’s right hand and kisses each finger, while Siwon is looking away from him. The taller man is still having a hard time believing in his pregnant husband. Well who can blame him?
“Those few days were really hard for me. I felt crushed and guilty to you too. But I tried to oppress those feelings. I told myself repeatedly, this is wrong, I shouldn’t be thinking of other guys aside from my husband. Not in anyway. I knew this was wrong,” Yesung’s voice weakens and becomes a whisper.
Siwon is still silent and Yesung rests his head in his husband’s right upper arm.
“But tonight I saw him again, and that’s it. All hell broke loose. I couldn’t control myself. All my anger, my sadness, my guilt, all manifested in me forcing him to talk to me…”
“What were you thinking,” Siwon mutters. “I seriously don’t understand.”
To Siwon’s surprise, Yesung is chuckling instead of answering his question.
“I too didn’t understand,” Yesung confesses. “I just thought… maybe I would feel better if I actually knew that he’s fine now. It was crazy, really.”
“But he’s not fine?” Siwon asks.
“I couldn’t see that he’s fine. He looked so miserable.”
“Yesung,” Siwon turns around so that he faces Yesung once again. “Can I really believe you?”
A cold wind blows and both of them shiver involuntarily.
“That you will only love me forever?”
Yesung’s face breaks into a sad smile. “What kind of question is that? Of course Wonie, I will love only you…”
“You can’t blame me for being paranoid,” Siwon argues. “I know you are very caring of other people and all, but I find it hard to believe you now…”
Yesung looks so down hearing this, and a single tear slid down his left cheek. “I know, I’m sorry for hurting you, Baby, but please understand me this time.”
“Have you told me everything, like, every single thing?” Siwon questions. He stares deeply at Yesung’s eyes, looking for the truth in the eyes he swears are the most beautiful in this whole wide world.
“Yes, Wonie, yes,” Yesung breaks again into sobs. “Please… please believe me,” he begs. “I will never see Kibum again, ever, if that’s what you want,” he adds quickly.
“But he’s my coworker,” Siwon sighs. “At least for the next several months I will still be seeing him all the time in the office,” Siwon brushes Yesung’s messy hair with his fingers.
“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” Yesung sobs. “But it’s not his fault though, Wonie, don’t blame him, please? It’s me in the wrong…” the pregnant man swipes his tears from his face, but it just makes his face looks even more horrible. “Just, act normal around him… please?”
Siwon’s heart breaks seeing how miserable Yesung seems. Now everything that his husband said has made sense. How it could possibly hurt Yesung, how Kibum too must be affected by it… it’s clear that it’s not Kibum’s fault that everything happened tonight. He should not take this out all on Kibum when he didn’t want or expect this would happen.
Kibum simply met the wrong people in the wrong time and that’s it. Knowing him and working closely together with Leonard’s assistant has made Siwon know what kind of guy Kibum is. He’s an upright guy, well mannered, smart, and virtuous. He has a good head on his shoulder, and of course he’s such a good person to work and have fun with.
“Okay,” Siwon cups Yesung’s face in his hands. “I will act usual with Kibum. I hope that he too doesn’t treat me differently after this.”
“Thank you, thank you so much, Siwonie… you don’t know how much this means to me…” Yesung kisses Siwon’s lips, and Siwon envelopes him in his warm hug afterwards.
The couple hugs in the terrace of the school which is quite cold. Siwon caresses Yesung’s messy hair when Yesung whispers to him, “Wonie, it’s cold, now I want some fishcake. Can we buy them now?”
***
TBC
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, Kim Kibum, Ryeowook, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Eric, Hyesung
Pairing: YeWon, slight!RicSyung
Genre: Mpreg!AU, Fluff
Rating: PG-15
Warning: Heavy Mpreg.
Disclaimer: Fiction. I only own the plot and the story.
“Baby are you alright?” Siwon asks his husband.
Yesung’s face looks so pale, and his eyes are becoming red. The petite pregnant man couldn’t stop playing with his fingers and more than once Siwon has to stop him from biting his nails.
Yesung seems to be awaken from his trans as he jolts a little too visible and immediately forcing a small, curt smile to his husband’s direction.
“Oh, yes, why?” he answers, but his eyes don’t meet Siwon’s. Instead, the florist is looking around the room, as if searching for something or someone.
“You… look pale. Something on your mind?” Siwon follows his husband’s eyes, looking around the ballroom full of people in their evening attires.
“It’s… so hot here isn’t it? I must… go, fresh air,” Yesung gets up from his seat hastily, taking his husband aback.
“What?” Siwon can’t even form a proper response when Yesung dashes away.
“Yesung?” Hyesung from across the table asks in wonder to Siwon, who is looking at Yesung’s back walking away from their table.
“I don’t know,” Siwon looks back at the older man in confusion.
“He looks weird,” Hyesung says, with wary eyes. “Did you do or say something?” suddenly he eyes Siwon sharply.
The young lawyer is of course taken aback by the question.
“No! Of course not…” Siwon frowns, getting a little annoyed at the older man. The guy is apparently Yesung’s bodyguard who loves to blame him on everything, even when they barely know each other.
They both become silent, don’t have anything to talk about to each other. It even seems as if they dislike each other, if one doesn’t know better.
“Woah, what a night…” Siwon’s father comes to the table a few minutes later, a glass of white wine in his hand. “Without these liquors I must’ve had escaped from this hell hole,” Eric is apparently a little tipsy.
“Aishh, Father are you drunk?” Siwon looks at him with visible annoyance in his face.
“No I’m not, of course I’m not,” the older lawyer sits beside Hyesung who is clearly getting more annoyed than anyone else in the table. “Hyesung-ssi I’m sorry I keep talking to people, you know, partners…”
“That’s okay,” Hyesung answers curtly, eyes watching the man beside him with a frown.
“You’re so understanding and so sweet,” Eric mumbles while smiling sheepishly to the other guy. Then he pays his son some attention, as if just realizing something. “Siwon-ah, you’re here? I thought you were with Yesung out there.”
“He’s looking for some fresh air,” Hyesung says in Siwon’s stead.
Siwon lifts his eyebrows. Really, this Hyesung guy is obsessed with his husband!
“I didn’t know Yesung knows that one friend of yours,” Eric continues. “That Korean guy from America? This is surely a small world. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone but me.” The older lawyer puts down his wine glass on the table and shakes his head.
A frown comes back to Siwon’s chiseled face. “What do you mean?”
“Yeah Yesung was talking with that guy, and both seemed so serious. They even look like they’re bickering.”
“What? So weird,” Siwon tries to remember if his husband had ever met Kibum before. But he can’t remember a thing.
“Go find him, Siwon-ah,” Hyesung’s voice hits the young lawyer like a shock. “I feel weird about this.”
“Oh, right, I’ll find him,” Siwon gets up from his chair. “Father, where?”
Eric points to the direction of the main entrance. “Outside,” he says, then he rubs his forehead as if trying to clear his mind.
Confusion clouds Siwon’s mind. Yesung and Kibum are talking? Bickering?
He gets to the entrance and cautiously searching for the two left and right. He doesn’t see them. There are only some catering people walking around, managing the foods and drinks.
“Excuse me, have you seen a pregnant man passing by?” he decides to ask a waitress who is busy arranging some canapés.
“Yes, he went there following somebody,” she points at the corridor. “Maybe got into the restroom.”
Siwon sees the restroom plank and hurriedly walks there. “Thank you,” he says absentmindedly.
He enters the men’s restroom quietly and he can see Yesung from the mirror. But the one thing shocking him the most is that the pregnant husband of his is having tears running down his cheeks.
“What the…?” Siwon mumbles. But then he hears something.
“You married well. I’m happy for you.”
Siwon recognizes that voice. It’s Kim Kibum’s voice!
He tries to find Kibum from the back, by looking at the mirror, but that man can’t be seen.
“Stop lying! I don’t believe you!” Yesung’s voice is cracking. He looks so broken and sad in the mirror.
Suddenly Siwon remembers something. Something about a man named Kim Kibum and Yesung.
Is this Kim Kibum… that Kim Kibum? Yesung’s first love? His high school sweet heart Kim Kibum?
“What do you want me to say, Yesung?” Kibum’s voice sounds so weak, and even more broken than Yesung’s.
Siwon, for sure, has never heard that kind of voice from Kibum before. The Kibum he knows is a silent hard worker, he doesn’t talk much but he is so nice and funny.
“Say your real feelings, damn it!” Now the pregnant man really breaks in sobs, and he buries his face in his tiny palms.
“Yesung-ah…” finally the other guy in the restroom enters the mirror. “What for? It’s useless…”
“Just… for me?” Yesung says weakly, still sobbing. “So that I can breathe…”
“I don’t want to make you feel bad,” Kibum looks so messy and terrible with tears on his face and messy hair.
“Hiks…hiks…hiks…” Yesung’s cries feel like a stab in Siwon’s heart.
“You are happy with your husband and you two are expecting, so please don’t mind me. I’m just someone who works with your husband.”
“Don’t you understand? I can’t not mind you! I can’t! When I know how miserable you are!” Yesung basically shouts, and his hands get off of his face to reveal the beauty of his bloated crying face. The pregnant man bashes the sink with his both hands in frustration.
“Oh my God, you’re still so beautiful,” Kim Kibum chuckles bitterly.
“You are…” Yesung is about to scream something at Kibum when his eyes meet Siwon’s in the mirror.
The lawyer sees how his husband’s eyes are getting as big as saucers and his mouth opens in silent panic. As if it’s in a slow-motion, Siwon watches how Yesung turns his head to his direction behind him, and swings so fast to Kibum beside him.
Siwon tries to smile at the crying pregnant man, but he really doesn’t expect Yesung to run so fast, passing him, and gets out of the bathroom to the corridor.
“Yesung-ah!” Siwon shouts. He turns around, preparing to chase his husband, but running Kibum bumps at him first.
“Si-Siwon-ah?” the younger man is shocked to see Yesung’s husband there.
“There’s no time, get him,” Siwon says absentmindedly and starts running already.
So both men follow the running Yesung outside to the corridor, but the pregnant man has already gone.
“Where…” Siwon asks the same waitress who answered him just a few minutes ago.
“He got into the elevator,” the waitress points with her chin to the elevator. Her hands are still busy arranging some canapés into a silver tray. “Please tell him it’s dangerous to run when he’s pregnant!” she tells the two men who are instantly dashing to the elevator without even saying thank you.
The elevator has gone down, and the other one is still going upstairs from the underground.
“Oh God…” Kibum covers his mouth with his palms. “What have I done?”
“Can we manage to catch him by the stairs?” Siwon doesn’t really listen. There’s only Yesung in his mind. “We’re in the top floor, how could we possibly do that…” he keeps talking to himself.
Kibum falls down to the floor, head hanging low.
Siwon fishes out his phone from his suit pocket, and immediately calls his husband’s cell. “Damn it, he’s turning it off…” angrily Siwon puts back his phone inside his pocket. And just then he sees the pathetic Kibum crying in silence on the floor beside him.
Then the scene of Yesung and Kibum in the male restroom replays in the lawyer’s mind. He feels a stinging pain as if he’s being slapped in the face when he remembers how Yesung said that he can’t not mind Kibum.
What was that supposed to mean?
“So you’re the first love,” Siwon says, trying his best to sound casual, positioning himself beside the crying secretary. Both men are kneeling in front of the closed elevator, both are broken hearted.
Kibum lifts his head and smiles bitterly. “Am I?”
“He told me everything, you know,” Siwon answers. “Why you left, how he waited for you, everything.”
Kibum doesn’t reply and just sits there, breathing heavily.
“My heart breaks for you, Kibum-ah.”
DING! The sound of another elevator opening. People gets out of the elevator and surprised to see two men in expensive suits kneeling in front of them.
“Wanna get some coffee?” Siwon offers, ignoring the curious stares of people.
Kibum frowns. “What about Yesung?”
Siwon smiles curtly. “He’s gone by now. I know him.”
Kibum gets up and he’s extending his hand to help Siwon gets up. The lawyer takes his hand and both of them enter the elevator.
There are only three people inside the elevator. Siwon, Kibum, and an old woman. The two guys are silent, both lost in their own thoughts. After what felt like a year for them, they arrive to the ground floor, where the hotel’s cafes are located.
They walk side by side, still without talking. Only Kibum’s heavy breaths are heard until they arrived at the café.
“Let me order. Espresso?” Siwon asks the younger guy.
Kibum just nods and goes to find seats for the two of them.
Five minutes later Siwon comes back with their espressos.
“I’ve texted all of Yesung’s friends that I know to inform me if he decides to crash at their place,” he says as he sits down in front of Kibum.
“Thank you for taking care of Yesung,” Kibum opens up. “At least I know he’s so loved and adored the way he deserves.”
Siwon gives the younger man his espresso and sips his own. “Millions of Kim Kibums in Korea and you are his ex,” he chuckles. “I work with you.”
“Yeah it’s a small world indeed,” Kibum snorts. He drinks his espresso and winced at the strong coffee.
“You don’t drink espresso?” Siwon asks, observing the younger’s reaction.
“Don’t really enjoy coffee in general, just was too polite to decline,” Kibum smiles.
Siwon’s phone rings at that moment, and he pouts when he reads the name on the screen. “I’m dead meat,” he mutters before answering the call. “Oh, we are on the way home,” he says hastily to the person on the phone. “Yes, he’s just having a slight migraine.”
Kibum drinks his espresso again and watches Siwon, amused. He can’t imagine what can possibly make this person so annoyed when he’s got Yesung by his side, forever?
“No, he’s sleeping beside me in his seat, so talk to you later, Hyesung-ssi,” Siwon cuts off the call and sighs. He puts his phone on the table and stares at Kibum. “Yesung is twenty weeks pregnant. He doesn’t want to know about the sex of our baby so we still have no idea. He craved for salt.”
“Good to know,” if Siwon doesn’t know better, he must’ve thought that Kibum’s glossy eyes are because he was so happy by the news.
“I don’t mean to rub off my happiness on you or anything. I just think that you have the right to know.”
“I know.”
The two men sit in silence once again. It’s 10 pm on the clock and Siwon watches how the pointer of seconds in his wristwatch is moving oh so slowly. It’s almost as if someone is playing with a time-turner and is stopping the time.
“Do you think Yesung is alright?” suddenly Kibum asks.
To be honest, Siwon doesn’t really know the answer to the question. “I just can hope so.”
“Do you think he went home?”
“I’m almost certain that he didn’t.”
“I’m curious about his flower shop,” says the younger. “He’s the pretty guy of the flower shop.” (a/n: referring to the Korean song “The Pretty Lady of The Flower Shop”).
“He really loves and treasures his shop,” Siwon smiles while grabbing his espresso. “Tons of flowers and he’s the prettiest.”
“I can imagine.”
“You can come if you want. I believe in you two,” Siwon puts his espresso down and looking at Kibum’s eyes.
Kibum chuckles. “I don’t know about that,” he shakes his head. “I’m a busy man.”
“I’m busier,” Siwon snorts. “In all seriousness though, nobody is texting me back about Yesung. I’m worried now.”
“Maybe he’s home?” Kibum speculates. “His phone’s still off?”
Siwon is already calling Yesung’s phone and nods. “Yap. My babies are going missing.”
“You know his favorite spots? Maybe places he usually visits every time he’s got a problem?”
“Maybe I will look at our home first,” Siwon says, getting up from his seat.
“I’m so sorry for everything, Siwon-ah…” Kibum also gets up. “I really didn’t mean to…”
“He followed you to the restroom, I knew it,” Siwon checks his wristwatch again.
“It’s not your fault, you two have a history together and I respect it. I just hope you two could move on,” he grabs his phone and walks out the café.
“Wait, Siwon-ah,” Kibum calls solemnly.
Siwon turns around and expectantly looks at the younger guy.
“I promise there won’t be anything happening between me and Yesung. I will never betray your trust.”
The lawyer simply smiles and turns around, leaving Kibum alone with his thoughts for real this time.
***
Siwon arrives home to find his house dark and empty. But Yesung could have just sit in the dark like last time, so he progresses to search for him inside anyways. Ten minutes later he gives up the idea and sits down on the sofa in frustration.
It’s a lie to say that Siwon is not in the least bothered by what just transpired between Yesung and Kibum right in front of his own eyes. He has never once doubting Yesung’s character in his life. He knows his husband is an honest, caring and empathetic person, but now Siwon can’t help but feeling insecure.
Although Siwon can understand that maybe Yesung is just feeling empathy for his ex-boyfriend, he can’t help the insecurity whispering another thing into his mind. What if his husband’s feelings for him had swayed?
I can’t not mind you!
That’s what he said. Was that merely empathic or the confused and swayed feelings spoken up?
His phone rings. It buzzes uncomfortably inside his pocket. Siwon quickly answers when he reads the name of the caller.
“Have you found Yesung?”
“No, do you have the slightest idea of where he could have been, Mi? Like anywhere?”
Zhoumi is silent for several seconds. “Hmm, knowing how sentimental Yesung can be, he must be alone in a mall, or a café,” he says. “But malls are closed at this hour so…that leaves us with cafes. I don’t know, Siwon-ah. There are tons of cafes in Seoul alone.”
“Did he ever mention a specific café he likes nowadays?” Siwon is thinking about grabbing his car key and just drives anywhere to find his husband.
“You know he’s not particular about any of those things,” Zhoumi replies. “Uhm, but you said he met Kibum, right, his ex?”
Siwon sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah.”
“Okay this is like, off the top of my head right now, but knowing how Yesung can be sentimental sometimes, maybe there’s something….”
“Cut to the case, Mi!” Siwon doesn’t mean to cut his husband’s best friend harshly, but hearing Zhoumi’s words about Yesung being sentimental, triggers something in him.
“Alright, alright,” Zhoumi sounds a bit annoyed but he continues anyway. “I just think that Yesung might be… in his high school right now.”
Siwon swears there’s someone turning on a light bulb inside his head. “Right! Well, that makes sense,” he quickly gets up and grabs his keys. “Thanks.”
He drives to Yesung’s high school, just a few kilometers from his house.
“God, I really hope you’re there, and not somewhere else, Sungie,” Siwon mutters while grasping tightly on the steering wheel. “It’s super late, and super cold. And it’s lucky it’s not snowing…”
The gate of the three storied high school building is closed, only revealing a tiny opening for a person to slide in. Siwon gets off the car and enters the gate, hoping that wherever Yesung is right now, he’s not stupid enough to just stand in the cold without proper warm clothes.
Nobody could be seen in the school’s wide yard. The place is quite dim and the only lights come from the main building across the yard. He walks there, not really sure about finding Yesung anymore. He could be just anywhere in this huge complex of school, or not even there at all. But his instinct guides him to go there anyways.
And his instinct is thankfully correct this time. His husband, it’s surely him, is sitting on the stair of the main building’s terrace with his face in his palms. His shoulders are shaking and anybody would know that the pregnant man is shaking in his crying.
Siwon approaches the crying, clueless man in silence, and when he’s beside him Yesung still hasn’t realizing that he’s there. Softly, Siwon wraps Yesung’s petite sitting body with a small blanket he’s bringing with him.
Yesung is startled and lifts his head in that second. And the sight of the pregnant man really breaks Siwon’s heart.
Yesung’s face is red and completely wet by his tears, his eyes are super swollen. And now that he’s sitting beside him, Siwon can clearly hear his sobs.
“Won-ie,” Yesung weakly calls.
“What do I have to do to you,” Siwon starts coldly, not even looking at Yesung beside him. “Crying over another guy in the cold.”
Yesung doesn’t answer for a moment. The two men just sit there quietly, Siwon with a cold face while Yesung trembles and shaking but still trying to control his sobs.
“It’s not like that,” Yesung finally breaks the silence.
“Then tell me what are you doing? What do you think I am?” Siwon explodes. His eyes are glaring at his pregnant husband.
Yesung visibly shrinks in fear now, and guilt is written all over his cute face. “Please…listen to me, Wonie…” he looks down his lap.
“Gosh you look so pitiful,” Siwon shakes his head annoyed. “If anybody sees us, they’ll think I’m the bad guy.”
“I apologize,” Yesung looks at Siwon again, his breaths ragged. “I was wrong, but you need to listen to what I have to say…”
“Fine, what now? Don’t tell me you still love that guy.”
“No!” Yesung quickly answers with high voice. “Of course not!”
“Then why are you…”
“It’s because he’s so pitiful!” Yesung screams desperately. “I pity him, Wonie! He’s alone, and seeing me broke his heart again!”
“I know you’re a nice person but…” Siwon tries to interrupt.
“This has nothing to do with me being nice! I mean, anybody would’ve felt the same!”
“Wait, wait, why are you the one screaming here?” Siwon asks irritated.
“You know our story, right?” Yesung suddenly ask in a calmer voice. “You know why I broke up with him?”
“But that’s not the case here…”
“Of course that’s the case, Wonie!” Yesung’s hands grab his hair in frustration. “He didn’t mean to hurt me. He was so hopeful that we’d be together again in the future. But for some reasons that didn’t happen. That’s why I don’t have any ill feelings towards him and now I feel sad because I’m the one breaking his heart…”
“So you felt guilty?” Siwon tries to see the rationality more clearly.
Yesung doesn’t answer. Instead he bits his nails while shaking his head.
His husband grabs the hand that the pregnant man’s biting and pulls it away from the mouth. “But it’s not your fault. You did your wait,” Siwon says in a calmer manner.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m crazy or something. But I feel so sad… mostly after the mall…” Yesung stares at the yard with an empty look.
“The mall?”
Yesung gasps as if he has let out something he’s not supposed to say. His eyeballs are moving frantically, and Siwon knows in an instant that his husband has yet another secret.
“What mall? Tell me,” Siwon demands, now fully facing Yesung and grabs his husband’s face to look directly at him.
“Er, I saw Kibum,” Yesung starts unsurely. “The day I was shopping for pregnancy clothes.”
“And…?”
“And he saw my stomach,” Yesung subconsciously looks down at his bulging stomach and caresses it softly. “And he asked me if I was married and everything…”
“You were with Mimi, right?” Siwon cuts him. He makes up his mind to ask Zhoumi about this too some day.
Yesung nods simply and continues, “And I’d never seen Kibum so sad and broken before. He clearly was devastated beyond believe. He was so shocked to see me again pregnant and married to another guy.”
“And that broke your heart too, seeing him so sad?”
“Yes! Knowing that I was the reason he’s so sad, and knowing that he still hasn’t forgotten me… it just hurt me so much.”
“You still care about him,” states Siwon flatly.
Yesung suddenly touches Siwon’s warm cheeks with his cold hands. “Of course,” he says solemnly. “But you need to understand, it’s no longer the same love I had for him… Wonie.”
“But why didn’t you tell me about the meeting at the mall? And why were you sneaking away from me? Just to see him?” Siwon swats Yesung’s hand away.
“Simply because I didn’t know how to explain to you… and I really thought that I will never see Kibum again, ever!” the pregnant man looks at Siwon with sad eyes. “How do I explain this without freaking out? Without making you mad and doubting my love for you?”
Yesung grabs Siwon’s right hand and kisses each finger, while Siwon is looking away from him. The taller man is still having a hard time believing in his pregnant husband. Well who can blame him?
“Those few days were really hard for me. I felt crushed and guilty to you too. But I tried to oppress those feelings. I told myself repeatedly, this is wrong, I shouldn’t be thinking of other guys aside from my husband. Not in anyway. I knew this was wrong,” Yesung’s voice weakens and becomes a whisper.
Siwon is still silent and Yesung rests his head in his husband’s right upper arm.
“But tonight I saw him again, and that’s it. All hell broke loose. I couldn’t control myself. All my anger, my sadness, my guilt, all manifested in me forcing him to talk to me…”
“What were you thinking,” Siwon mutters. “I seriously don’t understand.”
To Siwon’s surprise, Yesung is chuckling instead of answering his question.
“I too didn’t understand,” Yesung confesses. “I just thought… maybe I would feel better if I actually knew that he’s fine now. It was crazy, really.”
“But he’s not fine?” Siwon asks.
“I couldn’t see that he’s fine. He looked so miserable.”
“Yesung,” Siwon turns around so that he faces Yesung once again. “Can I really believe you?”
A cold wind blows and both of them shiver involuntarily.
“That you will only love me forever?”
Yesung’s face breaks into a sad smile. “What kind of question is that? Of course Wonie, I will love only you…”
“You can’t blame me for being paranoid,” Siwon argues. “I know you are very caring of other people and all, but I find it hard to believe you now…”
Yesung looks so down hearing this, and a single tear slid down his left cheek. “I know, I’m sorry for hurting you, Baby, but please understand me this time.”
“Have you told me everything, like, every single thing?” Siwon questions. He stares deeply at Yesung’s eyes, looking for the truth in the eyes he swears are the most beautiful in this whole wide world.
“Yes, Wonie, yes,” Yesung breaks again into sobs. “Please… please believe me,” he begs. “I will never see Kibum again, ever, if that’s what you want,” he adds quickly.
“But he’s my coworker,” Siwon sighs. “At least for the next several months I will still be seeing him all the time in the office,” Siwon brushes Yesung’s messy hair with his fingers.
“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” Yesung sobs. “But it’s not his fault though, Wonie, don’t blame him, please? It’s me in the wrong…” the pregnant man swipes his tears from his face, but it just makes his face looks even more horrible. “Just, act normal around him… please?”
Siwon’s heart breaks seeing how miserable Yesung seems. Now everything that his husband said has made sense. How it could possibly hurt Yesung, how Kibum too must be affected by it… it’s clear that it’s not Kibum’s fault that everything happened tonight. He should not take this out all on Kibum when he didn’t want or expect this would happen.
Kibum simply met the wrong people in the wrong time and that’s it. Knowing him and working closely together with Leonard’s assistant has made Siwon know what kind of guy Kibum is. He’s an upright guy, well mannered, smart, and virtuous. He has a good head on his shoulder, and of course he’s such a good person to work and have fun with.
“Okay,” Siwon cups Yesung’s face in his hands. “I will act usual with Kibum. I hope that he too doesn’t treat me differently after this.”
“Thank you, thank you so much, Siwonie… you don’t know how much this means to me…” Yesung kisses Siwon’s lips, and Siwon envelopes him in his warm hug afterwards.
The couple hugs in the terrace of the school which is quite cold. Siwon caresses Yesung’s messy hair when Yesung whispers to him, “Wonie, it’s cold, now I want some fishcake. Can we buy them now?”
***
TBC