My Heaven on Earth
Title: My Heaven on Earth
Rating: M
Pairing: YeWon
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, cameo!Donghae
Summary: Is Yesung too far in the wild that he could never see true love?
I close the front door of my apartment, feeling super spent tonight. My sugar daddy, for convenience can be called by the pseudonym “Papa”, had been in town for the last three days and he asked nothing but full services from me literally the whole time. I’ve lost count on how many times had Papa asked me to do weird sexual stuffs and I can say right now that sex is the last thing I would wanna do.
I take a quick shower and when I step outside my bathroom, I find out that my door bell has been ringing, oh so nosily. As I step to intercom, I wonder on why didn’t I hear the doorbell.
I’m surprised to see a tall, handsome face on my intercom’s screen.
“Hyung?” the handsome face asks. “Please let me in, I’ve been waiting for you for three days…”
“What are you doing here Siwon-ah?” I asks back, confused, but I open the door for him anyway.
“Still so pretty,” Siwon hugs me upon entering my living room. “Where have you been these three days, Hyung?”
I’m pressed to his broad chest and I can smell how good his scent is. I also can feel how he sniffs at my hair.
“Out of town,” I answer. I wiggle so he lets me go and I hand him a cold can of cola. “Work. What are you doing here?” I sit down on my sofa, and Siwon follows me.
“Ah, right. I have something to tell you,” he points at a yellow suitcase near my coffee table. “I need to stay here until I get admitted to my university choices.”
“You wha…?”
“Yes, maybe a month or two,” he says calmly as if he’s not asking a huge favor from me. “My parents actually wanted me to rent an apartment of my own in Seoul, but your parents asked me to stay here and accompany you instead…”
How could this happen? I’m so annoyed now. My eomma must’ve asked him because she is always worrying about a petite guy like me living all on my own in Seoul the metropolis. But this is a total breach of trust!
“Ah, eomma…” I clench my fists. But then I realize how Siwon is looking at me in amusement. “And you…” I look at him, “you just agree?”
“I wouldn’t miss this chance for the world,” he smiles oh so charismatically. If only he’s not my little dongsaeng Siwonie, I would have been floored for sure. “Living with you just the two of us must be heaven’s will.”
“I can’t accept this,” I grab my phone on the table and I’m about to call my eomma and protest when Siwon’s big hand intercepts my movements.
“What’s so bad about me living here?” he asks in a super serious tone. “I’ve got my own money and I will help you pay the rent,” his hand is now holding my right hand firmly.
I’m taken aback. He sure looks so creepy now, is he angry or something? Ah, I realize now maybe I offend him by not being happy about him living here.
“It’s… it’s not that…” I curse inside my head for stuttering like an idiot in front of a guy who’s three years younger than me.
“I know what you do here for a living,” suddenly Siwon smiles, still holding my hand. “You have an… ahjussi.”
I swear my face must have gone too pale hearing what he says. “Wha… no!” I quickly say. “What are you talking about?”
Again, he smiles at me. That annoying, handsome smile I despise so much. His smile is his weapon. A poison, I swear to God.
“Staying in the 5 starred hotel for three days and two nights with that foreigner ahjussi… I wonder what you’ve done with him? Naughty…things?”
“Err… you’re rambling,” I swat his hand away and get up. Uncomfortable with the accurate facts he just said. “I was in Incheon for my band,” I muster up a lie.
“You don’t want your parents to know about that ahjussi, right, Hyung?” Siwon gets up too, and I gasp as I feel he’s hugging me from behind. “He’s Norwegian, if I’m not mistaken?”
“Okay,” I feel like I have to take the control of this situation. “You can stay,” I say, trying to let myself go from his hug.
Siwon suddenly turns my body facing him and quickly attaches his lips onto mine.
I freeze when his lips touch mine. I feel like it happens so fast and before I know it, his tongue is grazing my lower lip. “Yah!” I say in surprise, in reflex pushing his body away.
“Whoa,” Siwon lifts his hands in resignation. But still, his annoying smile, ear to ear, is visible.
“How dare you,” I grit my teeth.
“Sorry,” he traces his lips with his thumb and grins happily.
“You can stay already, you idiot,” I glare at him. “Don’t take advantage.”
“As if in love with you is an advantage?” he still has the audacity to caress the side of my face when he says that.
“A word to my parents and you’ll die,” I warn him once more before swatting his hand away and run like a little girl to the comfort of my own bedroom.
I can’t sleep a wink that night despite being exhausted. Siwon, that brat, really has gotten to me. In my surprise for his sudden unannounced arrival, I had totally forgotten the reason he and I had some kind of an awkward goodbye last summer.
My eomma is Siwon’s appa’s secretary and our two families are freakishly close since my appa is Siwon’s eomma’s second cousin. Weird and confusing, really. I’ve seen Siwon ever since he’s just an ugly little baby boy when he was born. I remember asking my eomma if Siwon was dead since he seemed to be sleeping endlessly, and that question made our family members burst in a hysterical laughter.
Siwon used to follow me around everywhere and I protected him from bad people since I was a strong little boy with good built. Our parents were busy so basically I was his baby sitter growing up. He always listened to everything I said. He’s always been my little dongsaeng Siwon, even when he grew up much taller and way more handsome than I.
One day he stepped on me and my ex boyfriend Sungjoon when we were making out and I was half naked in my bedroom. I was cool about it, I was 17 for God’s sake. But I’ve never seen Siwon so flustered like that day. Since then, however, he developed a new habit or personality around me. He would smile and grins whenever he talked to me. And he liked to tease me, a lot. By a lot I mean a LOT, as if I’m a super interesting object of his fancy. Basically his hobby was making me crazy by repeating what I said in a mocking tone.
I changed boyfriends like I changed clothes and Siwon never dated anyone. He’s super duper popular though, so I really didn’t know why wouldn’t he date any guy or girl who basically worships him, like, his whole school population?
Last summer when I was on holiday and went home in Mokpo, something happened. I didn’t really remember the details but Siwon told me that he’d been in love with me since God knew when. All I remember was I laughed hearing his “confession” and his face turned completely dark and he just left me alone on the café where we were drinking smoothies. I mean, him, my baby little dongsaeng was in love with me? Unbelievable, right? Aren’t I basically his biological hyung already?
He needs to grab a new sense of humor. This whole annoying thing has got to go already. It’s getting old.
In the morning, I get outside my room because I smell delicious aroma of foods. It turns out Siwon is cooking breakfast for both of us.
“Good morning,” he is clad in an apron-maybe he brings it from home. “I just cook kimchi fried rice and tangsuyuk for you, Baby Hyung.”
I’m in the middle of admiring his beautiful dishes on my dining table when I hear what he calls me. “The fuck is Baby Hyung?” I protest.
“You’re my hyung, but looking so cute like a baby. So, Baby Hyung.”
“Don’t you dare calling me that anymore!” I nag at him, who’s taking a seat in front of me. “I will kill you.”
“Ouch, I’m scaaaared,” he teases me while smiling, again that annoying smile. “Baby Hyung’s angry.”
I grab a set of chopsticks and about to throw them at him when he says calmly, “You look most beautiful when you’re angry like this.”
I throw the chopsticks at him and gets up angrily. Stomping and walking back to my room, my appetite has vanished.
“Still with the temper,” Siwon grabs my hand and forcefully drags me back to the dining table. “You’re gonna eat every breakfast with me,” he kisses my hair and sits me on my chair. “And every dinner,” he adds when I’m about to open my mouth in protest. “Or I will tell everyone at home about ahjussi.”
“How…. How dare you!” I scream. “What do you fucking kid know about me? Nothing!” I can’t help it anymore. Every time he speaks about Papa my heart skips a beat. “So fucking rude!”
Adding a fuel to my anger is Siwon’s subtle smile. “Only… with a push of a button…” he lifts his phone, showing it to me. On the screen is the contact of my dad. The red button is just about an inch for Siwon to press.
“Seriously???” my voice is so shrill I can barely recognize it. “Are you fucking crazy???” my hand clenched on the spoon so hard, trying not to fly it to Siwon’s smug face.
Siwon’s face remains calm, barely flinching. He’s too accustomed to my temper, indeed. He puts the phone down and smiles again to me, but I kind of see a hint of sadness in that smile now. “You’re too precious for him, I hope you know it,” he tells me and gets up, walking away entering his room which is also my spare bedroom.
“Yah, so you won’t have your breakfast?” I ask, and he gives no reply.
It’s been a week that Siwon stays here with me. When I go to the campus, he would attend the hagwon (private learning academy) classes where he studies to prepare for the entrance exams of SKY (Seoul, Korea, Yonsei) Universities. I always get back home late to avoid him by hanging out with my band and trying my best to at the earliest return home at 11 pm. However, Siwon would always terrorize me by calling me nonstop on 7 pm, and wouldn’t stop until I enter my car to drive home. And at home, he would always be in the process of cooking dinner for us when I arrive.
I’m taking a shower now, like my usual habit whenever I just get home, before eating dinner. Actually I just realize that I have spend more and more time in this bathroom than outside, since I’m too lazy and powerless to face Siwon and all his teases. It’s like the bathroom is the only place where he couldn’t barge in to create a fuss. It’s became my sanctuary, really.
BANG BANG BANG
“Baby Hyung! Baby Hyung! Baby Hyung!”
Speaking of the devil.
“Motherfu…” I hold back my curse at the last moment. Siwon is going crazy banging at the bathroom door and calling me. With that disgusting name nonetheless. This couldn’t get any worse… “What!” I turn off the shower so I can hear him clearly.
“Baby Hyung, open the door!!!” Siwon screams hysterically.
“The hell?” I can’t help but panic too. Siwon is such a calm and cool guy. Maybe something bad is happening out there. I grab my towel and quickly wrap it around my lower body, and almost run to the door to open it.
“What is it?” I get out and my heart beats super fast like it would bursts.
“Hey there, Sexy,” Siwon is standing right in front of the bathroom door, looking at my topless body with hungry stare.
“What happens?” I ask, looking around searching for something unusual.
“Er… do you want a spicy samgyetang or not spicy?”
“What?” I ask stupidly.
“Spicy samgyetang, yes or no?” Siwon repeats, looking not at my eyes. But way lower.
“Huh?” my brain is raking hard for an answer. “Spicy?” I finally answer uncertain.
“Okay then…” Siwon coolly turns around and sings loudly, “Milky skin~ Delicious~ Me gusta~~~”
Then it hits me, what he’s done to me. “Yaaaah!!! You crazy perverted brat!!!!!”
Ugh I really can’t believe he dares to disturb my sacred bathroom ritual for that perversion of his! Who does he think he is? That ungrateful brat… I wanna make him wish he’s never born…
No matter how angry he makes me, I can’t help but being nice, not angry and unsuspecting each time. He’s my baby dongsaeng, and I still care about him so much.
“Any interesting student in your hagwon?” I ask him while we’re sitting in front of the TV.
“You’re the only one interesting,” he answers so smoothly without even looking up from his chemistry book.
“Seriously, aren’t your parents curious about your dating life, Wonie?”
“Nope,” he answers, picking up a pencil and starts scribbling on the book.
“You’re studying like all the time, maybe loosen out and date some people? Aren’t you tired or bored?” that is a genuine question since Siwon really seems to only study other than disturbing me in between. “When I was your age I…”
“I don’t want to date anybody,” Siwon says curtly. “I’m studying, Baby Hyung. Shut up.”
“Aish this brat,” angrily I take a bite at an innocent potato chip. “You should be grateful I even talk to you.”
Siwon just snorts and holding back a smile.
I sit on my bed with my blanket pooled around my ankles. My back is pressed to the headboard and my knees are fold in front of my chest. I’m cold. I’m so nervous and biting my nails seems to be the only rational way to still maintain my sanity.
Outside, the thunders and heavy rain are pouring with no end in sight. I have a phobia of thunder, and today I happened to forget to check the weather forecast. That Siwon brat makes me forget so many things these days. Usually I would check each day’s weather forecast so that I could anticipate nights like this by seeking refuge in one of my fuck buddies’ apartment.
I think Yunho would’ve been good for tonight. He’s my classmate, a cool, tall and super handsome guy with warm embrace. Super playboy too but who cares. But he might be in cuddles with Jaejoong, his latest catch.
So who is vacant? Jungmo, maybe?
CTARRRR
A flash of thunder enlighten my bedroom for a millisecond and the loud sound commands me to whimper in fear like a little child. I’m almost fainting of shock. The flash could’ve hit me… and kill me.
“My Baby,” suddenly a heavy voice is heard in the darkness of my room. A second later, a weight shifted on my bed and I feel Siwon’s strong arms embracing my trembling body.
“Wonie?” I ask, burying my head in his chest. “Afraid…” I try to tell him.
“I know… I know…” he caresses my hair and sits down beside me with me on his lap like a little dog. “Calm down, Baby…”
Siwon keeps sitting there and caressing my hair while I lay my head on his lap, curled up and covering my eyes using his thigh. And before I know it, the sun rays hit my eyes. It’s morning already? Why is the time flying so fast? I try to loosen my muscles and cover my eyes with my hands.
“Morning, Scaredy Cat,” a warm voice and breath brings me to reality.
I look around and find myself sleeping using Siwon’s lap as pillows, and my body is covered by my warm blanket.
“Eung?”
“I literally can’t feel my thighs,” Siwon smiles.
“Oops, sorry…” I quickly get up and stare at him with guilt. “I slept in your lap?”
“Sure,” he answers lazily and yawns.
As he yawns, I start to notice that he looks so messed up with giant eye bags. His skin is so pale too. So unhealthy. “Did you get to sleep?”
“Barely, I think…” he caresses my face, as if checking if I have a temperature. “You’re okay?”
I stifle a laugh as embarrassment washes upon me. “Classic me… it’s usual for me. Of course I’m fine now.”
“I’m glad I was here, so I could protect you…” Siwon starts to look around my room. “Your room is way warmer when you’re actually here.”
I can’t help but raise my eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Siwon’s face turns red and he looks down, avoiding my eyes on purpose. “What time is it now?”
“Oh my God, I think I have an early skin appointment today,” I gasp. Yes, the dermatologist is the best in Seoul and so fucking expensive. The bill is being handled by my Papa, of course, but the severity of the waiting list per month is just hell. I definitely can’t miss it because there’s no reschedule.
“And hagwon…” Siwon quickly gets up. But he turns around to look at me and give me a meaningful stare. “Too bad we can’t cuddle all day… I wish tonight the storm would come back.”
“What? Tch, crazy jerk,” I surely can’t bear the storm anymore, not anymore soon! He really likes to see his hyung suffer.
He throws me a thin smile then walks away from my room.
Siwon has left after I finished my shower. He clearly didn’t get to eat his breakfast, I notice with an empty feeling in my heart. Maybe it’s my fault for sleeping on his lap all night and froze him so he couldn’t get up as his usual time this morning.
So today I have no agenda after my skin appointment. I have no class and usually I would just hang out with whoever has time, but I realized that I hadn’t even opened all my inboxes on my phone all day. Sitting alone in a fried chicken franchise restaurant having my brunch alone, my mind has been occupied by Siwon.
That kid didn’t get to eat breakfast, he must be hungry now…
So I buy him some chicken and I drive to his hagwon. Maybe as an apology I could get him to eat lunch with me. I’m shuddering with anticipation. Maybe Siwon would be happy seeing me. Maybe I can check out all the young girls and guys there, if there’s anyone fit and good enough to be with my Siwon!
I go straight to the cafeteria in the hagwon, waiting for lunch break. I plan to call Siwon right after the lunch time bell rings.
I don’t know how many hours I have been waiting, but I’m on my third glass of chocolate milkshake now. And I don’t really feel that well anymore… damn milkshakes…
“Yesung, Baby?” a voice snaps me up. Confused, I search for the source of the voice and find Siwon sits beside me, looking so radiant.
“Hi, Wonie…” I say, trying to shake away sleepiness. “You’re here?”
“Yah, did you really just fall asleep here?” he demands.
“Did I?” I shrug. “I bring you lunch. Here,” I point at the box of chicken in front of me, and Siwon looks like all Christmas are being put together.
“Wow!” he excitedly opens the box and does something that makes me frown in wonder. He fishes his phone out of his pants pocket and takes several pictures of them.
“Tch,” I snort. “Have you never eaten chicken…”
But he suddenly pulls my body to his and kisses me wholly on the lips.
“Thank you,” he then rubs our nose together.
I’m stunned. All of a sudden I feel all eyes on this cafeteria are looking at me. At me and Siwon. Sitting here and being… lovey dovey?
“Yah! Are you crazy?” I snap.
I spontaneously look around the cafeteria and see tons of people are curiously looking at me. Several groups of girls are apparently filming us while giggles, many are looking upset and glaring at me. A group of guys suddenly walk toward us and some of them pat Siwon on his shoulder, as if appreciating him on something.
Siwon is busy eating a drumstick in each hand and only smirks at his friends, who are giving him thumbs up while giving me naughty looks.
“Nice, you use me,” I now start to feel upset.
“Wham?” Siwon asks with a mouthful.
“Why did you kiss me in front of all these people, you moron,” I hiss.
Siwon quickly swallows all the food in his mouth and smiles, his most annoying smile. It gets more annoying as his mouth is dirty with red sauce from the chicken.
“Because I want them to know that I’m yours, and you’re mine,” he answers simply. “If that counts as ‘using’ you then what can I say…”
“I regret coming here,” I pout. “I’m going.”
I get up and walk away, fuming in rage and humiliation.
“I love you too Yesung Baby!”
I almost faint when I hear Siwon shouts those words. I want the ground to pop open and swallow me so I could disappear from this God forsaken place.
“Whoohoooo!” cheers from people are instantly heard as their reaction to Siwon’s words. Some claps are also heard.
“You’re dead meat, Siwon-ah.”
I give Siwon the silent treatment for several days afterwards. I’m not mad because he kisses me, I just really can’t believe he dared to kiss me in public just because he didn’t like the attention he’s receiving from people there!
I always go home at midnight and turning off my cell phone so that the little brat can’t bother me with his calls. I lock my bedroom every night so that he couldn’t barge in my room to wake me up in the morning. If he bangs at the door, I just ignore it until he’s wasting his precious morning time.
If I’m angry, I’m determined.
So I got back home at 1 am this morning. Entering the house as quietly as possible I step inside. But then I hear some heavy breathing and desperate gasps for air lingering. But then I hear my name being whispered in a super sensual moan.
“Ahh… Yesung-ah… so tight…”
I freeze.
Being with many men before, I completely recognize what voice this is I’m hearing.
Is Siwon pleasuring himself with the thought of me?
I can’t believe this. Is he being serious? He really wants me? My body?
I walk so fast without thinking to his bedroom and burst the door open while turning on the lights.
And Siwon looks like he would rather die than seeing me at that time. Of course, since he’s naked, with hand on his massive erection (yeah I totally see that) and another hand clutching his phone with a photo of mine on the screen.
I was smiling in the photo, taken candidly God knows when.
“You…” I don’t know what to say.
Siwon sits down on the bed, doesn’t care anymore to cover his body from my prying eyes.
“Now do you believe me, Hyung?” Siwon starts. “That I really love you, and desire you?”
“My baby dongsaeng…” I feel like I’m slapped.
“Not a baby, no,” Siwon gets up and lets his whole naked glory to be consumed by my eyes. “I’m this big, and this hard, Hyung. Thinking about you.”
I can’t help but letting my eyes stare at his sculpted biceps, abs, and… his erection. So beautiful.
“Sor… sorry,” I turns my back on him and runs to my bedroom.
Damn, I really don’t know what to think. All this time, I have successfully convinced myself that Siwon is just a little dongsaeng of mine. Little one who follows me around and obeys everything I say. But now, just now I see how wrong I have been. That little kid wants me as a man, as a lover all along, and I just could never relate to him being a grown man like this.
And by the way, he’s got a killer body, I shudder. Exactly my tipe.
Uh, but no… he’s your dongsaeng, my brain keeps on reminding me.
I don’t know anymore, so I sigh and throw myself to bed. Still wearing socks and my day outfit, I fall asleep to a dreamless sleep.
In the morning I wake up in shock even when I didn’t dream about anything. It’s about the usual time Siwon usually woke me up for breakfast but now I don’t hear anything from the outside of my room.
Cautiously I step outside, looking all around for the little kid who’s been bothering me so much these past two weeks. But he’s nowhere to be seen.
“Hyung,” his voice suddenly calls me. He goes out of his room, fully clothed as if he’s ready to go already. “I’m gonna leave…”
“No…” my voice is faster than my brain or my heart. There’s a terrible pang in my heart now seeing how stressed out he seems to be. “Don’t go…”
“It’s the best option for both of us,” Siwon says calmly. Suddenly seeing him so gloomy like this, I miss his annoying smiles and smirks… “So I can move on and you can also… do whatever you do.”
“I’m sorry,” I plea. “But don’t go…” I fall to my knees, and can’t help but sobbing.
“But I have one request tho, Hyung… and after that I would go forever from your life.”
“Anything, Wonie. Anything,” I desperately look up to him, walking toward me.
“But this is maybe inappropriate…”
“You want my body?” I cut him.
He smiles bitterly and shakes his head. “I only want to bathe you.”
I only stare at him like an idiot. Am I hearing him wrong?
“I only want to touch you. And nothing more…” Siwon quickly explains. “I promise…”
“But… it will be hard for you,” I shake my head.
“I will… take care of that,” he smiles sheepishly. “Not letting you seeing, of course.”
So here we are now, in the bathroom inside my bedroom.
Siwon only wears his boxer and I’m quickly stripping all my clothes in front of him. I can feel his eyes looking at me so darkly and that gives me a shiver. It’s not like I’d never seen guys looking at me so hungrily, but the thought that this person is Siwon. The person I’ve seen since the first day he’s born into this world…
This feels amoral…
“May I?” Siwon is standing in front of me so close I can really feel his breaths. His hands are on the hem of my boxer, and pushing it down to reveal my whole body in front of him.
“Oh,” he looks at me from top to toe. “More beautiful than my dreams,” he says.
And I can feel myself blushing like mad. Ugh, what is wrong with me. I’m so used to hear these kind of things from other guys but I’ve never felt like this.
He turns the shower on, and warm water is splashing down to us.
“You would want this to quickly end,” Siwon says, grabbing my soap and shower puff.
“Not really,” I find myself say. “Take your time…”
Siwon looks up to me from his effort to pour a generous amount of soap onto my puff.
“Just use your bare hands…” I tell him, throwing the puff to the floor. “I’m fine with that.”
“Are you…sure?” Siwon swallows. He appears to be so groggy and all of a sudden I realize that it’s probably the first time for him to have an intimate moment with someone.
“Yes,” I’m used to this… I admit inside my brain. Only usually hot sex session(s) would surely happen afterwards…
So Siwon pours some soap to his big palm. Oh he has just the biggest palm, I can’t help but stare. And giant fingers… masculine fingers. Unlike my tiny underdeveloped ones.
“Uh, i… don’t know where to start,” Siwon shyly speaks. He looks at me with a confused expression, also embarrassment for being such a noob.
“Turn off the shower first,” I tease him with a smile. “My chest is fine, that’s my usual routine.”
As if he’s just realizing it, he turns off the shower and looks back at me with an unreadable expression.
He clearly shivers when his palms start to touch my chest. His hands are warm and strong in my chest, and he looks so focused in what he’s doing. He runs his hands in circle in my chest, covering it with lather, and whenever he brushes on my nipples, he would jolt a little.
“So adorable,” I smile looking at him working hard. “You may go down.”
Without saying anything, Siwon obeys me like the little kid he is. His hands are going down to my stomach and are still trembling. I see his eyes looking down on my limp cock and he bits his lips and his face becomes very red.
“Yah,” I call him. “Now my arms…”
Siwon looks up at me but when our eyes almost meet he’s shy away. I open my arms and he quickly soaps them without saying anything. He adds more soap to his palms and now without me directing him, he proceeds to lather my hips and happy trail.
I gasp when I feel him pulls me closer to his broad body, almost technically embracing me when his hands go down to my thighs. I don’t know, it’s just like he changes instantly to be braver and confident with his moves. His hands now are on my inner thighs and I let out an involuntary whimper.
He’s being super masculine and dominating now, with his face kissing my hair and hands doing wonders with the lather down there.
Who is this man? Is he really my dongsaeng Siwonie? Clearly I’ve never seen this dominating, conquering side of him. And this is beyond hot.
“May I?” he whispers to my ears when his hands are already fondling my balls.
“Hhh…” is my idiotic answer.
So he touches my balls and all of a sudden my knees turn into jelly. Desperately I grab his biceps for support so that I won’t fall. And how hard and muscular these arms are…
“I… love you,” he says when he starts to caress my cock.
“Ahh,” I moan, this is just so insane. I mean he doesn’t do anything but caressing lightly. Not even palming my cock but the sensation is more than anything I’ve ever felt.
I can also feel his heavy breaths, and his lips are moving down to kiss my ear. I moan louder and he bits my ear softly. Down there, his hand is playing with my tip.
Damn, I don’t realize that I’ve got precum all over my cock.
But suddenly he pulls himself back, getting away from me.
I whimper in the lose of warmth, and without saying anything Siwon starts to clean my legs. He crouches and quickly moves his hands all over my legs. I almost fall to the back but Siwon doesn’t say anything and I get back my composure on my own.
“Now, your back,” he gets up and deliberately avoiding my gaze. He walks around me and now stands behind my back.
Like an idiot I follow him with my gaze, I’m still confused with his change of behavior. He was so shy when we started this and I didn’t expect anything like a domineering seme handling me like a spoiled uke I am.
I hear him adding more soap and then his hands are on my back. I can’t help but turning my head to see him behind me, but then I feel him attaching his broad chest to my back.
And oh, now I feel how hard his clothed erection is… on my buttocks.
“Hmph,” my knees are turning into jelly once more, feeling how big Siwon is inside his underwear.
“Yesung-ah,” he kisses my neck and I can’t help but giving him access.
His hands are down on the side of my butts now and I let out a moan. Uh, I know that I’m hard too, already. And I move, to feel his thick erection. For an instance, the imagination of how good he would feel inside me, with his thick and hot cock throbbing and rocking my body, blinds me.
I close my eyes feeling so aroused and I feel the urge to touch him too. I reach up and find his head, still kissing my neck and I grab his hair softly. “Wonie…” I moan.
He pushes his cock harder onto my butt, reacting to my moan, basically dry-humping me. We move together in synch, feeling incredible sensations. Then his hands are all over my two nipples, giving little pinches.
I can hear his pants, breaths labored and I definitely sure that his underwear too is so fucking uncomfortable for him judging how big and hard he feels between my cheeks. I’m enjoying this, I think, and I’m contemplating about giving myself fully to him…
But then, again, he detaches himself from me.
I abruptly open my eyes feeling the empty feeling on my back. I search for him in panic. I don’t want this to stop.
“I think I shall stop, now,” Siwon says, walking around to face me. His hands are covering his underwear and his face is completely flushed. “You can… finish showering by yourself, Hyung.”
“Why?” I ask without thinking. Suddenly I feel so cold. Without his embrace, without his hot breath in my neck and hot body attached to mine.
Siwon smiles bitterly, looking down at his clothed erection. “You know why.”
“But we… we can…”
“Thank you for the chance, Hyung. I will be gone silently while you finish your shower,” he starts to walk outside the shower cubicle and I can only shake my head in disbelief.
“Don’t go…” I call weakly.
“I don’t want to make you do things you would regret.”
With those words, he actually steps outside my bathroom and closes the door behind him.
I still freeze, just I can’t think of anything right now. Like… I’m cold. And I know that my heart feels super heavy. But I don’t know why that is. I’m trembling, and I don’t feel like I can stay standing up much longer.
I reach for the shower lever and turn the hot shower on before falling to the floor.
The water is a bit too hot… but I don’t feel like it to change the temperature. I don’t care about the burn. All I see is the white soap bubbles being rinsed away from my body by the burning water.
The white substances go with the flow of water and I reach for them to stop them from going down the drain. I grab as much lather as I can but right away the hot water rinses them from my hands. Somehow my heart hurts so bad seeing those lathers go away, leaving me alone with water burning on my skin.
The shower cubicle turns misty and I’m blinded now. The water is still being hot and I close my eyes feeling the pang in my heart. I can’t help but letting out a sob, and my breath hitched. I start to wail desperately for the loss of something I couldn’t name.
I don’t know how much longer do I sit here, pitying myself. The water has turned cold and again I’m shivering. I turn off the shower and step out the cubicle. Suddenly I remember something… or someone.
Siwon.
“Siwon?” I run outside in a hurry and straight away go to Siwon’s room. It’s empty.
I barely got into this room since Siwon occupied it, but he clearly has kept the room very neat and clean. The air conditioner of this room is pretty cold and I shiver once again, only to realize that I’m still butt naked.
Waters are dropping off of me but I couldn’t care less. I sit on the bed and grab the pillow that Siwon’d been using for the last 2 weeks. It smells so fresh, maybe it’s his shampoo since my laundry softener is more like flowery smells.
There’s nothing in the room that could give a hint of Siwon’s brief presence, so I search for it in his bathroom. His cologne is so adamant in this bathroom, some kind of spices, or whatever, I don’t know. It just feels so much like him. But still, there’s nothing left in the area that could remind me of him.
Suddenly this all feels very funny to me. Of course Siwon wouldn’t actually be gone from my life… we still have our parents in Mokpo, our family’s houses are on the same street and the most important thing is that I still have his phone number.
I run to my own bedroom and find my cell phone on the bedside table. I search for his contact. I scroll down, but I can’t find him with the name Siwonie… so where is it?
Oh, right, I forget that the jerk had changed his contact name on my phone! I find “Boyfriend Wonie” and can’t help but letting out a giggle. He even changed the contact picture with our selca that he forced me to take together while we were watching TV.
Ah, his phone is turned off.
I redial, and it’s really off. I just can’t help myself but pressing the green button again and still, the only voice I hear is from the operator.
I sit on my bed and keep trying to call Siwon. Maybe his battery is running low, or his reception is bad so my call is disconnected?
I send a kakao message to him. I tell him that I’m sorry, and that I still want him to stay here with me. Then I call him again. When the call has failed, I send another kakao message.
Right after I send my nth kakao message, my phone is buzzing in my hand, there’s a call coming in.
My heart skips a beat, thinking that it’s Siwon. But it’s only Jungmo, my classmate who is also a friend with benefit. I quickly pressed the red button rejecting his call, but a few seconds later he calls again.
“What?” I bark at him.
“Yah why aren’t you in class, Baby? And read my kakao will ya?” Jungmo asks me with a flirtatious tone.
Oh, right. I’m supposed to be in class right now. I totally forgot about that.
“Uh, there’s something urgent, I’ll call you back, BYE!”
I put my phone down and I just sit there, don’t know what to do now. My mind is so full of Siwon I could hardly think of anything else. All I know is that I have to see him again.
Why, exactly?
I don’t know. I just… I can’t believe that he actually does have a feeling for me. I really thought that he’s just kidding. How could I not? With all the smirks, the teases?
And I can’t believe that such a kid could possess my body even with the minimum sexual contacts he did to me. He turned me into a moaning mess simply by touching me softly… I wouldn’t pretend to be unimpressed, and I want to make sure he knows that.
But how?
Suddenly, the thing Jungmo asked me on the phone just now gives me an inspiration.
In five minutes, I have dressed and go down by the elevator to my parking space. Not wasting any more time, I drive my car as fast as I can to Siwon’s hagwon.
The hagwon is so quiet, everyone is studying. I get in and in my confusion of where to start looking for Siwon, I just walk here and there in the halls, trying to catch glimpses of the classrooms. I’m afraid of security guards though, because I sure look like a criminal peeking to classrooms looking for prey.
“Hello, are you going in or not?” a soft voice from behind jolts me. For God’s sake I’m peeking at a classroom from the back window…
I turn around to find a blonde, handsome kid looking at me curiously.
“Oh, no, I’m…” I stutter.
“Wait,” the guy starts to look at me more carefully. “Are you… by chance, are you Yesung?”
“What?” I ask back, confused.
“Oh yeah, you’re Siwon’s Yesung Hyung!” the kid exclaims excitedly. “He has tons of your pictures on his phone and he talks about you all the time!”
I must look like an idiot now.
“Woah I finally can really meet you, Yesung Hyung!” he smiles widely. But seeing my confusion, he stops smiling and embarrassment is creeping on his handsome face. “Oh my God, I’m so rude. I’m Lee Donghae, nice to meet you, Hyung.”
“Oh… okay… I’m Yesung…”
“What are you doing here, Hyung? Looking for Siwon?” Donghae asks with fascinating speed.
“Yes,” I see a light of hope. “Do you know where he is?”
“He’s in the office, of course. Dealing with the administrations…” he points at a closed door far from where I stand.
“Why isn’t he in the class?” I ask before he could talk more.
“Because he’s moving back home, right? He’s gonna transfer to another hagwon in Mokpo, I guess.”
“What?” I can’t believe what this guy is saying!
Without much thinking, I run to the administration office. The white door is closed and I open it like a madman.
The two people inside are looking at me with surprise on their faces.
“Hyung?” Siwon sounds like he can’t believe his own eyes.
Meanwhile the woman administrator is visibly annoyed by my intrusion. “What is this?” she asks me, looking at me like I’m some disgusting thing on her sole.
“Siwon… we need… to talk,” i’m gasping for breath, looking at him like never before.
“Excuse me, please wait outside, we are in the middle of a talk here,” the woman administrator gets up from her chair and glares at me.
I can’t say anything but looking at Siwon with all my might. I’m so afraid that I couldn’t see him again and now that I see him in front of my eyes, planning to get away from me, I’m speechless. I don’t even realize that tears have already pooled in my two eyes.
Siwon looks at me too but then he appears to be able to compose himself and gets up from his seat.
“Hyung, please wait outside,” he says softly, eyes looking at me meaningfully. “I won’t be long.”
So I have to wait outside the room, I hopelessly sit on one of the chairs there, tears already streaming like a river from my two eyes. I sob and try to erase my tears, but they keep coming.
“Hyung,” a voice calls me and I look up hopefully, hoping that it’s Siwon’s.
But it’s the blonde kid I just met.
“Hyung, are you okay? Why are you crying?” he asks and sits beside me.
I just shake my head, and looking down at the floor, being super ashamed that a stranger sees me crying like this.
“Is it about Siwon?”
I don’t answer, just keep sobbing like an idiot.
“Ah, do you not want him to leave?” he asks and I’m surprised by the genuine tone of his question.
I glance at him and he really seems like he cares. He has this understanding look on his eyes and I don’t know, I feel like he is someone good.
“Siwon really loves you, Hyung,” the blonde says. “He always talks about you, shows us your pictures…”
I can only sob harder.
“I barely know Siwon for two weeks but I feel like I know you in person, just from the stories Siwon told me,” Donghae pats my shoulder. “He said he’s only been in love with you since God knows when.”
“Really?” I ask with a difficulty because of my sobs.
“Yes, tons of guys and girls ask him out, confessing to him every day that it annoys us, but he really doesn’t want anyone but you.”
I bury my face in my palms as I sob harder.
“Every day he would search for recipes on the internet and goes shopping in the super market to cook for you,” Donghae chuckles. “I got to accompany him one day and he really is meticulous. Everything has to be organic and healthy, fresh products…”
“I’m so blind…” I bite my nails.
I have never thought of how Siwon cooked, or prepared all the foods for me. All I know is that everything is always done, delicious, and I really had no idea that he did the shopping by himself too.
“I’m so blind,” I tell the blonde beside me.
“Siwon told us how you bite your nails,” he smiles. “And he copied you, without knowing, since he was little. He’s a nail biter too.”
“What should I do…?” I ask him pitifully.
“My name is Donghae, Hyung,” the blonde informs me again, reading my confusion.
“Donghae-ssi… tell me what should I do?” I ask him again.
“Be true to yourself,” Donghae is surprisingly wise, although his childish expressions don’t show it. “Tell him how you really feel and what do you want your relationship to be...”
“Woah, thank you so much, Donghae-ya,” a voice interrupts him.
Siwon is standing in front of me when I look up to him. He’s looking at his friend Donghae with a mixed expression, between annoyed and amused.
“Are you a love doctor now?” Siwon asks Donghae again while the blonde kid is smiling sheepishly at him.
“I was out to pee then I saw hyung,” Donghae answers quickly, still smiling mischievously.
“Si-Siwon-ah…” I call him.
And when he looks back at me, I just realize that I’ve been missing him so much. These few hours felt like a whole day labor since he’s gone from my apartment.
“Why are you here,” Siwon asks softly before sitting beside me. He sees my bloodshot eyes and kisses my hands.
“Wonie,” I stupidly say without knowing how to continue.
“Love Doctor’s mission complete!” I hear Donghae whisper happily to himself before walking away from us.
“Why are you crying, Baby Hyung?”
I can’t help my smile when I hear him calling me ‘Baby Hyung’ again. I didn’t realize how it hurt me when he changed to call me with just ‘Hyung’ since this morning.
I say nothing but I just throw myself to his broad chest. I wrap his body with my hands and I continue my cries on his embrace.
I sigh in bliss when I feel his hands holding me back, caressing my back softly. And I just realize how much I always enjoy the way he kisses my hair, like this…
“Don’t go,” I sob on his shirt. “Don’t leave me, Wonie…”
“But you know I have to move on,” Siwon’s voice sounds dreamy and far away from me. I can sense how much sadness is in his voice.
I shake my head on his chest.
“No you don’t…” I feel my tears wetting his shirt. “No, Wonie.”
“What do you mean?” Siwon asks, there’s a hint of hope in his tone, and it makes me smile happily.
“You don’t have to move on from me,” I let go of the hug, and looking at him with my ugly, puffy crying face. “I want us to be together…”
I bring his face closer to mine and kiss him with all my might. I can feel Siwon smiles in our kiss.
We now live together in a small, one bedroom apartment near Yonsei University. Siwon is studying management there and I’m on my last semester, doing my thesis.
I no longer have other ‘fuck buddies’ or ‘friends with benefits’ or whatever those are. I too, have cut all contacts with ‘Papa’ and left the huge and luxurious apartment he rented for me. I have also lost my monthly ‘pocket money’ from him, and all those facilities such as car, credit and debit cards. I have to work part time as a librarian and singer in cafes at night to afford a living.
Siwon comes from a rich family and he offered me to pay for all of my expenses but I don’t want to get back to be dependent to anyone the way I used too. Those years of living comfortably had cost me real love. I had never really felt love and I did sex just because it got me money and pleasure. Nothing more. Nothing deeper…
But now everything’s changed. I don’t do ‘sex’ anymore. I only ‘make love’.
Sex with Siwon is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had. The most fulfilling, the most satisfying, and I swear I would never change it for the world. Really, being with someone who really understands you, who makes you his first priority and would do literally anything to make you happy is so precious.
“Baby, wear the white one tonight, please?” Siwon whispers in my ear while hugging me from behind on the bed.
Gosh I didn’t realize he’s here already. I turn around to face him in surprise.
“Happy sixth month-versary,” he kisses me.
“Happy anniversary,” I smile naughtily at him.
“What’s with the smile?” he asks.
“Funny you should ask,” I bite my lip and Siwon’s face becomes radiant.
“Under the blanket?” he tugs at the blanket I use to wrap myself like a burrito.
“Your present…”
Impatiently he opens my blanket, and gasps in lust when he sees me in his wish.
“White lingerie… you’re the best, Baby…”
And when Siwon is deep inside me, giving me all his love, attention, and pleasure, I know God has granted me heaven on earth.
I need nothing more, but my beloved dongsaeng right here. My perfect guy, my heaven.
***
FIN
A/N: Happy new year, people! Let’s enjoy more YeWon in the future!
Rating: M
Pairing: YeWon
Characters: Yesung, Siwon, cameo!Donghae
Summary: Is Yesung too far in the wild that he could never see true love?
I close the front door of my apartment, feeling super spent tonight. My sugar daddy, for convenience can be called by the pseudonym “Papa”, had been in town for the last three days and he asked nothing but full services from me literally the whole time. I’ve lost count on how many times had Papa asked me to do weird sexual stuffs and I can say right now that sex is the last thing I would wanna do.
I take a quick shower and when I step outside my bathroom, I find out that my door bell has been ringing, oh so nosily. As I step to intercom, I wonder on why didn’t I hear the doorbell.
I’m surprised to see a tall, handsome face on my intercom’s screen.
“Hyung?” the handsome face asks. “Please let me in, I’ve been waiting for you for three days…”
“What are you doing here Siwon-ah?” I asks back, confused, but I open the door for him anyway.
“Still so pretty,” Siwon hugs me upon entering my living room. “Where have you been these three days, Hyung?”
I’m pressed to his broad chest and I can smell how good his scent is. I also can feel how he sniffs at my hair.
“Out of town,” I answer. I wiggle so he lets me go and I hand him a cold can of cola. “Work. What are you doing here?” I sit down on my sofa, and Siwon follows me.
“Ah, right. I have something to tell you,” he points at a yellow suitcase near my coffee table. “I need to stay here until I get admitted to my university choices.”
“You wha…?”
“Yes, maybe a month or two,” he says calmly as if he’s not asking a huge favor from me. “My parents actually wanted me to rent an apartment of my own in Seoul, but your parents asked me to stay here and accompany you instead…”
How could this happen? I’m so annoyed now. My eomma must’ve asked him because she is always worrying about a petite guy like me living all on my own in Seoul the metropolis. But this is a total breach of trust!
“Ah, eomma…” I clench my fists. But then I realize how Siwon is looking at me in amusement. “And you…” I look at him, “you just agree?”
“I wouldn’t miss this chance for the world,” he smiles oh so charismatically. If only he’s not my little dongsaeng Siwonie, I would have been floored for sure. “Living with you just the two of us must be heaven’s will.”
“I can’t accept this,” I grab my phone on the table and I’m about to call my eomma and protest when Siwon’s big hand intercepts my movements.
“What’s so bad about me living here?” he asks in a super serious tone. “I’ve got my own money and I will help you pay the rent,” his hand is now holding my right hand firmly.
I’m taken aback. He sure looks so creepy now, is he angry or something? Ah, I realize now maybe I offend him by not being happy about him living here.
“It’s… it’s not that…” I curse inside my head for stuttering like an idiot in front of a guy who’s three years younger than me.
“I know what you do here for a living,” suddenly Siwon smiles, still holding my hand. “You have an… ahjussi.”
I swear my face must have gone too pale hearing what he says. “Wha… no!” I quickly say. “What are you talking about?”
Again, he smiles at me. That annoying, handsome smile I despise so much. His smile is his weapon. A poison, I swear to God.
“Staying in the 5 starred hotel for three days and two nights with that foreigner ahjussi… I wonder what you’ve done with him? Naughty…things?”
“Err… you’re rambling,” I swat his hand away and get up. Uncomfortable with the accurate facts he just said. “I was in Incheon for my band,” I muster up a lie.
“You don’t want your parents to know about that ahjussi, right, Hyung?” Siwon gets up too, and I gasp as I feel he’s hugging me from behind. “He’s Norwegian, if I’m not mistaken?”
“Okay,” I feel like I have to take the control of this situation. “You can stay,” I say, trying to let myself go from his hug.
Siwon suddenly turns my body facing him and quickly attaches his lips onto mine.
I freeze when his lips touch mine. I feel like it happens so fast and before I know it, his tongue is grazing my lower lip. “Yah!” I say in surprise, in reflex pushing his body away.
“Whoa,” Siwon lifts his hands in resignation. But still, his annoying smile, ear to ear, is visible.
“How dare you,” I grit my teeth.
“Sorry,” he traces his lips with his thumb and grins happily.
“You can stay already, you idiot,” I glare at him. “Don’t take advantage.”
“As if in love with you is an advantage?” he still has the audacity to caress the side of my face when he says that.
“A word to my parents and you’ll die,” I warn him once more before swatting his hand away and run like a little girl to the comfort of my own bedroom.
I can’t sleep a wink that night despite being exhausted. Siwon, that brat, really has gotten to me. In my surprise for his sudden unannounced arrival, I had totally forgotten the reason he and I had some kind of an awkward goodbye last summer.
My eomma is Siwon’s appa’s secretary and our two families are freakishly close since my appa is Siwon’s eomma’s second cousin. Weird and confusing, really. I’ve seen Siwon ever since he’s just an ugly little baby boy when he was born. I remember asking my eomma if Siwon was dead since he seemed to be sleeping endlessly, and that question made our family members burst in a hysterical laughter.
Siwon used to follow me around everywhere and I protected him from bad people since I was a strong little boy with good built. Our parents were busy so basically I was his baby sitter growing up. He always listened to everything I said. He’s always been my little dongsaeng Siwon, even when he grew up much taller and way more handsome than I.
One day he stepped on me and my ex boyfriend Sungjoon when we were making out and I was half naked in my bedroom. I was cool about it, I was 17 for God’s sake. But I’ve never seen Siwon so flustered like that day. Since then, however, he developed a new habit or personality around me. He would smile and grins whenever he talked to me. And he liked to tease me, a lot. By a lot I mean a LOT, as if I’m a super interesting object of his fancy. Basically his hobby was making me crazy by repeating what I said in a mocking tone.
I changed boyfriends like I changed clothes and Siwon never dated anyone. He’s super duper popular though, so I really didn’t know why wouldn’t he date any guy or girl who basically worships him, like, his whole school population?
Last summer when I was on holiday and went home in Mokpo, something happened. I didn’t really remember the details but Siwon told me that he’d been in love with me since God knew when. All I remember was I laughed hearing his “confession” and his face turned completely dark and he just left me alone on the café where we were drinking smoothies. I mean, him, my baby little dongsaeng was in love with me? Unbelievable, right? Aren’t I basically his biological hyung already?
He needs to grab a new sense of humor. This whole annoying thing has got to go already. It’s getting old.
In the morning, I get outside my room because I smell delicious aroma of foods. It turns out Siwon is cooking breakfast for both of us.
“Good morning,” he is clad in an apron-maybe he brings it from home. “I just cook kimchi fried rice and tangsuyuk for you, Baby Hyung.”
I’m in the middle of admiring his beautiful dishes on my dining table when I hear what he calls me. “The fuck is Baby Hyung?” I protest.
“You’re my hyung, but looking so cute like a baby. So, Baby Hyung.”
“Don’t you dare calling me that anymore!” I nag at him, who’s taking a seat in front of me. “I will kill you.”
“Ouch, I’m scaaaared,” he teases me while smiling, again that annoying smile. “Baby Hyung’s angry.”
I grab a set of chopsticks and about to throw them at him when he says calmly, “You look most beautiful when you’re angry like this.”
I throw the chopsticks at him and gets up angrily. Stomping and walking back to my room, my appetite has vanished.
“Still with the temper,” Siwon grabs my hand and forcefully drags me back to the dining table. “You’re gonna eat every breakfast with me,” he kisses my hair and sits me on my chair. “And every dinner,” he adds when I’m about to open my mouth in protest. “Or I will tell everyone at home about ahjussi.”
“How…. How dare you!” I scream. “What do you fucking kid know about me? Nothing!” I can’t help it anymore. Every time he speaks about Papa my heart skips a beat. “So fucking rude!”
Adding a fuel to my anger is Siwon’s subtle smile. “Only… with a push of a button…” he lifts his phone, showing it to me. On the screen is the contact of my dad. The red button is just about an inch for Siwon to press.
“Seriously???” my voice is so shrill I can barely recognize it. “Are you fucking crazy???” my hand clenched on the spoon so hard, trying not to fly it to Siwon’s smug face.
Siwon’s face remains calm, barely flinching. He’s too accustomed to my temper, indeed. He puts the phone down and smiles again to me, but I kind of see a hint of sadness in that smile now. “You’re too precious for him, I hope you know it,” he tells me and gets up, walking away entering his room which is also my spare bedroom.
“Yah, so you won’t have your breakfast?” I ask, and he gives no reply.
It’s been a week that Siwon stays here with me. When I go to the campus, he would attend the hagwon (private learning academy) classes where he studies to prepare for the entrance exams of SKY (Seoul, Korea, Yonsei) Universities. I always get back home late to avoid him by hanging out with my band and trying my best to at the earliest return home at 11 pm. However, Siwon would always terrorize me by calling me nonstop on 7 pm, and wouldn’t stop until I enter my car to drive home. And at home, he would always be in the process of cooking dinner for us when I arrive.
I’m taking a shower now, like my usual habit whenever I just get home, before eating dinner. Actually I just realize that I have spend more and more time in this bathroom than outside, since I’m too lazy and powerless to face Siwon and all his teases. It’s like the bathroom is the only place where he couldn’t barge in to create a fuss. It’s became my sanctuary, really.
BANG BANG BANG
“Baby Hyung! Baby Hyung! Baby Hyung!”
Speaking of the devil.
“Motherfu…” I hold back my curse at the last moment. Siwon is going crazy banging at the bathroom door and calling me. With that disgusting name nonetheless. This couldn’t get any worse… “What!” I turn off the shower so I can hear him clearly.
“Baby Hyung, open the door!!!” Siwon screams hysterically.
“The hell?” I can’t help but panic too. Siwon is such a calm and cool guy. Maybe something bad is happening out there. I grab my towel and quickly wrap it around my lower body, and almost run to the door to open it.
“What is it?” I get out and my heart beats super fast like it would bursts.
“Hey there, Sexy,” Siwon is standing right in front of the bathroom door, looking at my topless body with hungry stare.
“What happens?” I ask, looking around searching for something unusual.
“Er… do you want a spicy samgyetang or not spicy?”
“What?” I ask stupidly.
“Spicy samgyetang, yes or no?” Siwon repeats, looking not at my eyes. But way lower.
“Huh?” my brain is raking hard for an answer. “Spicy?” I finally answer uncertain.
“Okay then…” Siwon coolly turns around and sings loudly, “Milky skin~ Delicious~ Me gusta~~~”
Then it hits me, what he’s done to me. “Yaaaah!!! You crazy perverted brat!!!!!”
Ugh I really can’t believe he dares to disturb my sacred bathroom ritual for that perversion of his! Who does he think he is? That ungrateful brat… I wanna make him wish he’s never born…
No matter how angry he makes me, I can’t help but being nice, not angry and unsuspecting each time. He’s my baby dongsaeng, and I still care about him so much.
“Any interesting student in your hagwon?” I ask him while we’re sitting in front of the TV.
“You’re the only one interesting,” he answers so smoothly without even looking up from his chemistry book.
“Seriously, aren’t your parents curious about your dating life, Wonie?”
“Nope,” he answers, picking up a pencil and starts scribbling on the book.
“You’re studying like all the time, maybe loosen out and date some people? Aren’t you tired or bored?” that is a genuine question since Siwon really seems to only study other than disturbing me in between. “When I was your age I…”
“I don’t want to date anybody,” Siwon says curtly. “I’m studying, Baby Hyung. Shut up.”
“Aish this brat,” angrily I take a bite at an innocent potato chip. “You should be grateful I even talk to you.”
Siwon just snorts and holding back a smile.
I sit on my bed with my blanket pooled around my ankles. My back is pressed to the headboard and my knees are fold in front of my chest. I’m cold. I’m so nervous and biting my nails seems to be the only rational way to still maintain my sanity.
Outside, the thunders and heavy rain are pouring with no end in sight. I have a phobia of thunder, and today I happened to forget to check the weather forecast. That Siwon brat makes me forget so many things these days. Usually I would check each day’s weather forecast so that I could anticipate nights like this by seeking refuge in one of my fuck buddies’ apartment.
I think Yunho would’ve been good for tonight. He’s my classmate, a cool, tall and super handsome guy with warm embrace. Super playboy too but who cares. But he might be in cuddles with Jaejoong, his latest catch.
So who is vacant? Jungmo, maybe?
CTARRRR
A flash of thunder enlighten my bedroom for a millisecond and the loud sound commands me to whimper in fear like a little child. I’m almost fainting of shock. The flash could’ve hit me… and kill me.
“My Baby,” suddenly a heavy voice is heard in the darkness of my room. A second later, a weight shifted on my bed and I feel Siwon’s strong arms embracing my trembling body.
“Wonie?” I ask, burying my head in his chest. “Afraid…” I try to tell him.
“I know… I know…” he caresses my hair and sits down beside me with me on his lap like a little dog. “Calm down, Baby…”
Siwon keeps sitting there and caressing my hair while I lay my head on his lap, curled up and covering my eyes using his thigh. And before I know it, the sun rays hit my eyes. It’s morning already? Why is the time flying so fast? I try to loosen my muscles and cover my eyes with my hands.
“Morning, Scaredy Cat,” a warm voice and breath brings me to reality.
I look around and find myself sleeping using Siwon’s lap as pillows, and my body is covered by my warm blanket.
“Eung?”
“I literally can’t feel my thighs,” Siwon smiles.
“Oops, sorry…” I quickly get up and stare at him with guilt. “I slept in your lap?”
“Sure,” he answers lazily and yawns.
As he yawns, I start to notice that he looks so messed up with giant eye bags. His skin is so pale too. So unhealthy. “Did you get to sleep?”
“Barely, I think…” he caresses my face, as if checking if I have a temperature. “You’re okay?”
I stifle a laugh as embarrassment washes upon me. “Classic me… it’s usual for me. Of course I’m fine now.”
“I’m glad I was here, so I could protect you…” Siwon starts to look around my room. “Your room is way warmer when you’re actually here.”
I can’t help but raise my eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Siwon’s face turns red and he looks down, avoiding my eyes on purpose. “What time is it now?”
“Oh my God, I think I have an early skin appointment today,” I gasp. Yes, the dermatologist is the best in Seoul and so fucking expensive. The bill is being handled by my Papa, of course, but the severity of the waiting list per month is just hell. I definitely can’t miss it because there’s no reschedule.
“And hagwon…” Siwon quickly gets up. But he turns around to look at me and give me a meaningful stare. “Too bad we can’t cuddle all day… I wish tonight the storm would come back.”
“What? Tch, crazy jerk,” I surely can’t bear the storm anymore, not anymore soon! He really likes to see his hyung suffer.
He throws me a thin smile then walks away from my room.
Siwon has left after I finished my shower. He clearly didn’t get to eat his breakfast, I notice with an empty feeling in my heart. Maybe it’s my fault for sleeping on his lap all night and froze him so he couldn’t get up as his usual time this morning.
So today I have no agenda after my skin appointment. I have no class and usually I would just hang out with whoever has time, but I realized that I hadn’t even opened all my inboxes on my phone all day. Sitting alone in a fried chicken franchise restaurant having my brunch alone, my mind has been occupied by Siwon.
That kid didn’t get to eat breakfast, he must be hungry now…
So I buy him some chicken and I drive to his hagwon. Maybe as an apology I could get him to eat lunch with me. I’m shuddering with anticipation. Maybe Siwon would be happy seeing me. Maybe I can check out all the young girls and guys there, if there’s anyone fit and good enough to be with my Siwon!
I go straight to the cafeteria in the hagwon, waiting for lunch break. I plan to call Siwon right after the lunch time bell rings.
I don’t know how many hours I have been waiting, but I’m on my third glass of chocolate milkshake now. And I don’t really feel that well anymore… damn milkshakes…
“Yesung, Baby?” a voice snaps me up. Confused, I search for the source of the voice and find Siwon sits beside me, looking so radiant.
“Hi, Wonie…” I say, trying to shake away sleepiness. “You’re here?”
“Yah, did you really just fall asleep here?” he demands.
“Did I?” I shrug. “I bring you lunch. Here,” I point at the box of chicken in front of me, and Siwon looks like all Christmas are being put together.
“Wow!” he excitedly opens the box and does something that makes me frown in wonder. He fishes his phone out of his pants pocket and takes several pictures of them.
“Tch,” I snort. “Have you never eaten chicken…”
But he suddenly pulls my body to his and kisses me wholly on the lips.
“Thank you,” he then rubs our nose together.
I’m stunned. All of a sudden I feel all eyes on this cafeteria are looking at me. At me and Siwon. Sitting here and being… lovey dovey?
“Yah! Are you crazy?” I snap.
I spontaneously look around the cafeteria and see tons of people are curiously looking at me. Several groups of girls are apparently filming us while giggles, many are looking upset and glaring at me. A group of guys suddenly walk toward us and some of them pat Siwon on his shoulder, as if appreciating him on something.
Siwon is busy eating a drumstick in each hand and only smirks at his friends, who are giving him thumbs up while giving me naughty looks.
“Nice, you use me,” I now start to feel upset.
“Wham?” Siwon asks with a mouthful.
“Why did you kiss me in front of all these people, you moron,” I hiss.
Siwon quickly swallows all the food in his mouth and smiles, his most annoying smile. It gets more annoying as his mouth is dirty with red sauce from the chicken.
“Because I want them to know that I’m yours, and you’re mine,” he answers simply. “If that counts as ‘using’ you then what can I say…”
“I regret coming here,” I pout. “I’m going.”
I get up and walk away, fuming in rage and humiliation.
“I love you too Yesung Baby!”
I almost faint when I hear Siwon shouts those words. I want the ground to pop open and swallow me so I could disappear from this God forsaken place.
“Whoohoooo!” cheers from people are instantly heard as their reaction to Siwon’s words. Some claps are also heard.
“You’re dead meat, Siwon-ah.”
I give Siwon the silent treatment for several days afterwards. I’m not mad because he kisses me, I just really can’t believe he dared to kiss me in public just because he didn’t like the attention he’s receiving from people there!
I always go home at midnight and turning off my cell phone so that the little brat can’t bother me with his calls. I lock my bedroom every night so that he couldn’t barge in my room to wake me up in the morning. If he bangs at the door, I just ignore it until he’s wasting his precious morning time.
If I’m angry, I’m determined.
So I got back home at 1 am this morning. Entering the house as quietly as possible I step inside. But then I hear some heavy breathing and desperate gasps for air lingering. But then I hear my name being whispered in a super sensual moan.
“Ahh… Yesung-ah… so tight…”
I freeze.
Being with many men before, I completely recognize what voice this is I’m hearing.
Is Siwon pleasuring himself with the thought of me?
I can’t believe this. Is he being serious? He really wants me? My body?
I walk so fast without thinking to his bedroom and burst the door open while turning on the lights.
And Siwon looks like he would rather die than seeing me at that time. Of course, since he’s naked, with hand on his massive erection (yeah I totally see that) and another hand clutching his phone with a photo of mine on the screen.
I was smiling in the photo, taken candidly God knows when.
“You…” I don’t know what to say.
Siwon sits down on the bed, doesn’t care anymore to cover his body from my prying eyes.
“Now do you believe me, Hyung?” Siwon starts. “That I really love you, and desire you?”
“My baby dongsaeng…” I feel like I’m slapped.
“Not a baby, no,” Siwon gets up and lets his whole naked glory to be consumed by my eyes. “I’m this big, and this hard, Hyung. Thinking about you.”
I can’t help but letting my eyes stare at his sculpted biceps, abs, and… his erection. So beautiful.
“Sor… sorry,” I turns my back on him and runs to my bedroom.
Damn, I really don’t know what to think. All this time, I have successfully convinced myself that Siwon is just a little dongsaeng of mine. Little one who follows me around and obeys everything I say. But now, just now I see how wrong I have been. That little kid wants me as a man, as a lover all along, and I just could never relate to him being a grown man like this.
And by the way, he’s got a killer body, I shudder. Exactly my tipe.
Uh, but no… he’s your dongsaeng, my brain keeps on reminding me.
I don’t know anymore, so I sigh and throw myself to bed. Still wearing socks and my day outfit, I fall asleep to a dreamless sleep.
In the morning I wake up in shock even when I didn’t dream about anything. It’s about the usual time Siwon usually woke me up for breakfast but now I don’t hear anything from the outside of my room.
Cautiously I step outside, looking all around for the little kid who’s been bothering me so much these past two weeks. But he’s nowhere to be seen.
“Hyung,” his voice suddenly calls me. He goes out of his room, fully clothed as if he’s ready to go already. “I’m gonna leave…”
“No…” my voice is faster than my brain or my heart. There’s a terrible pang in my heart now seeing how stressed out he seems to be. “Don’t go…”
“It’s the best option for both of us,” Siwon says calmly. Suddenly seeing him so gloomy like this, I miss his annoying smiles and smirks… “So I can move on and you can also… do whatever you do.”
“I’m sorry,” I plea. “But don’t go…” I fall to my knees, and can’t help but sobbing.
“But I have one request tho, Hyung… and after that I would go forever from your life.”
“Anything, Wonie. Anything,” I desperately look up to him, walking toward me.
“But this is maybe inappropriate…”
“You want my body?” I cut him.
He smiles bitterly and shakes his head. “I only want to bathe you.”
I only stare at him like an idiot. Am I hearing him wrong?
“I only want to touch you. And nothing more…” Siwon quickly explains. “I promise…”
“But… it will be hard for you,” I shake my head.
“I will… take care of that,” he smiles sheepishly. “Not letting you seeing, of course.”
So here we are now, in the bathroom inside my bedroom.
Siwon only wears his boxer and I’m quickly stripping all my clothes in front of him. I can feel his eyes looking at me so darkly and that gives me a shiver. It’s not like I’d never seen guys looking at me so hungrily, but the thought that this person is Siwon. The person I’ve seen since the first day he’s born into this world…
This feels amoral…
“May I?” Siwon is standing in front of me so close I can really feel his breaths. His hands are on the hem of my boxer, and pushing it down to reveal my whole body in front of him.
“Oh,” he looks at me from top to toe. “More beautiful than my dreams,” he says.
And I can feel myself blushing like mad. Ugh, what is wrong with me. I’m so used to hear these kind of things from other guys but I’ve never felt like this.
He turns the shower on, and warm water is splashing down to us.
“You would want this to quickly end,” Siwon says, grabbing my soap and shower puff.
“Not really,” I find myself say. “Take your time…”
Siwon looks up to me from his effort to pour a generous amount of soap onto my puff.
“Just use your bare hands…” I tell him, throwing the puff to the floor. “I’m fine with that.”
“Are you…sure?” Siwon swallows. He appears to be so groggy and all of a sudden I realize that it’s probably the first time for him to have an intimate moment with someone.
“Yes,” I’m used to this… I admit inside my brain. Only usually hot sex session(s) would surely happen afterwards…
So Siwon pours some soap to his big palm. Oh he has just the biggest palm, I can’t help but stare. And giant fingers… masculine fingers. Unlike my tiny underdeveloped ones.
“Uh, i… don’t know where to start,” Siwon shyly speaks. He looks at me with a confused expression, also embarrassment for being such a noob.
“Turn off the shower first,” I tease him with a smile. “My chest is fine, that’s my usual routine.”
As if he’s just realizing it, he turns off the shower and looks back at me with an unreadable expression.
He clearly shivers when his palms start to touch my chest. His hands are warm and strong in my chest, and he looks so focused in what he’s doing. He runs his hands in circle in my chest, covering it with lather, and whenever he brushes on my nipples, he would jolt a little.
“So adorable,” I smile looking at him working hard. “You may go down.”
Without saying anything, Siwon obeys me like the little kid he is. His hands are going down to my stomach and are still trembling. I see his eyes looking down on my limp cock and he bits his lips and his face becomes very red.
“Yah,” I call him. “Now my arms…”
Siwon looks up at me but when our eyes almost meet he’s shy away. I open my arms and he quickly soaps them without saying anything. He adds more soap to his palms and now without me directing him, he proceeds to lather my hips and happy trail.
I gasp when I feel him pulls me closer to his broad body, almost technically embracing me when his hands go down to my thighs. I don’t know, it’s just like he changes instantly to be braver and confident with his moves. His hands now are on my inner thighs and I let out an involuntary whimper.
He’s being super masculine and dominating now, with his face kissing my hair and hands doing wonders with the lather down there.
Who is this man? Is he really my dongsaeng Siwonie? Clearly I’ve never seen this dominating, conquering side of him. And this is beyond hot.
“May I?” he whispers to my ears when his hands are already fondling my balls.
“Hhh…” is my idiotic answer.
So he touches my balls and all of a sudden my knees turn into jelly. Desperately I grab his biceps for support so that I won’t fall. And how hard and muscular these arms are…
“I… love you,” he says when he starts to caress my cock.
“Ahh,” I moan, this is just so insane. I mean he doesn’t do anything but caressing lightly. Not even palming my cock but the sensation is more than anything I’ve ever felt.
I can also feel his heavy breaths, and his lips are moving down to kiss my ear. I moan louder and he bits my ear softly. Down there, his hand is playing with my tip.
Damn, I don’t realize that I’ve got precum all over my cock.
But suddenly he pulls himself back, getting away from me.
I whimper in the lose of warmth, and without saying anything Siwon starts to clean my legs. He crouches and quickly moves his hands all over my legs. I almost fall to the back but Siwon doesn’t say anything and I get back my composure on my own.
“Now, your back,” he gets up and deliberately avoiding my gaze. He walks around me and now stands behind my back.
Like an idiot I follow him with my gaze, I’m still confused with his change of behavior. He was so shy when we started this and I didn’t expect anything like a domineering seme handling me like a spoiled uke I am.
I hear him adding more soap and then his hands are on my back. I can’t help but turning my head to see him behind me, but then I feel him attaching his broad chest to my back.
And oh, now I feel how hard his clothed erection is… on my buttocks.
“Hmph,” my knees are turning into jelly once more, feeling how big Siwon is inside his underwear.
“Yesung-ah,” he kisses my neck and I can’t help but giving him access.
His hands are down on the side of my butts now and I let out a moan. Uh, I know that I’m hard too, already. And I move, to feel his thick erection. For an instance, the imagination of how good he would feel inside me, with his thick and hot cock throbbing and rocking my body, blinds me.
I close my eyes feeling so aroused and I feel the urge to touch him too. I reach up and find his head, still kissing my neck and I grab his hair softly. “Wonie…” I moan.
He pushes his cock harder onto my butt, reacting to my moan, basically dry-humping me. We move together in synch, feeling incredible sensations. Then his hands are all over my two nipples, giving little pinches.
I can hear his pants, breaths labored and I definitely sure that his underwear too is so fucking uncomfortable for him judging how big and hard he feels between my cheeks. I’m enjoying this, I think, and I’m contemplating about giving myself fully to him…
But then, again, he detaches himself from me.
I abruptly open my eyes feeling the empty feeling on my back. I search for him in panic. I don’t want this to stop.
“I think I shall stop, now,” Siwon says, walking around to face me. His hands are covering his underwear and his face is completely flushed. “You can… finish showering by yourself, Hyung.”
“Why?” I ask without thinking. Suddenly I feel so cold. Without his embrace, without his hot breath in my neck and hot body attached to mine.
Siwon smiles bitterly, looking down at his clothed erection. “You know why.”
“But we… we can…”
“Thank you for the chance, Hyung. I will be gone silently while you finish your shower,” he starts to walk outside the shower cubicle and I can only shake my head in disbelief.
“Don’t go…” I call weakly.
“I don’t want to make you do things you would regret.”
With those words, he actually steps outside my bathroom and closes the door behind him.
I still freeze, just I can’t think of anything right now. Like… I’m cold. And I know that my heart feels super heavy. But I don’t know why that is. I’m trembling, and I don’t feel like I can stay standing up much longer.
I reach for the shower lever and turn the hot shower on before falling to the floor.
The water is a bit too hot… but I don’t feel like it to change the temperature. I don’t care about the burn. All I see is the white soap bubbles being rinsed away from my body by the burning water.
The white substances go with the flow of water and I reach for them to stop them from going down the drain. I grab as much lather as I can but right away the hot water rinses them from my hands. Somehow my heart hurts so bad seeing those lathers go away, leaving me alone with water burning on my skin.
The shower cubicle turns misty and I’m blinded now. The water is still being hot and I close my eyes feeling the pang in my heart. I can’t help but letting out a sob, and my breath hitched. I start to wail desperately for the loss of something I couldn’t name.
I don’t know how much longer do I sit here, pitying myself. The water has turned cold and again I’m shivering. I turn off the shower and step out the cubicle. Suddenly I remember something… or someone.
Siwon.
“Siwon?” I run outside in a hurry and straight away go to Siwon’s room. It’s empty.
I barely got into this room since Siwon occupied it, but he clearly has kept the room very neat and clean. The air conditioner of this room is pretty cold and I shiver once again, only to realize that I’m still butt naked.
Waters are dropping off of me but I couldn’t care less. I sit on the bed and grab the pillow that Siwon’d been using for the last 2 weeks. It smells so fresh, maybe it’s his shampoo since my laundry softener is more like flowery smells.
There’s nothing in the room that could give a hint of Siwon’s brief presence, so I search for it in his bathroom. His cologne is so adamant in this bathroom, some kind of spices, or whatever, I don’t know. It just feels so much like him. But still, there’s nothing left in the area that could remind me of him.
Suddenly this all feels very funny to me. Of course Siwon wouldn’t actually be gone from my life… we still have our parents in Mokpo, our family’s houses are on the same street and the most important thing is that I still have his phone number.
I run to my own bedroom and find my cell phone on the bedside table. I search for his contact. I scroll down, but I can’t find him with the name Siwonie… so where is it?
Oh, right, I forget that the jerk had changed his contact name on my phone! I find “Boyfriend Wonie” and can’t help but letting out a giggle. He even changed the contact picture with our selca that he forced me to take together while we were watching TV.
Ah, his phone is turned off.
I redial, and it’s really off. I just can’t help myself but pressing the green button again and still, the only voice I hear is from the operator.
I sit on my bed and keep trying to call Siwon. Maybe his battery is running low, or his reception is bad so my call is disconnected?
I send a kakao message to him. I tell him that I’m sorry, and that I still want him to stay here with me. Then I call him again. When the call has failed, I send another kakao message.
Right after I send my nth kakao message, my phone is buzzing in my hand, there’s a call coming in.
My heart skips a beat, thinking that it’s Siwon. But it’s only Jungmo, my classmate who is also a friend with benefit. I quickly pressed the red button rejecting his call, but a few seconds later he calls again.
“What?” I bark at him.
“Yah why aren’t you in class, Baby? And read my kakao will ya?” Jungmo asks me with a flirtatious tone.
Oh, right. I’m supposed to be in class right now. I totally forgot about that.
“Uh, there’s something urgent, I’ll call you back, BYE!”
I put my phone down and I just sit there, don’t know what to do now. My mind is so full of Siwon I could hardly think of anything else. All I know is that I have to see him again.
Why, exactly?
I don’t know. I just… I can’t believe that he actually does have a feeling for me. I really thought that he’s just kidding. How could I not? With all the smirks, the teases?
And I can’t believe that such a kid could possess my body even with the minimum sexual contacts he did to me. He turned me into a moaning mess simply by touching me softly… I wouldn’t pretend to be unimpressed, and I want to make sure he knows that.
But how?
Suddenly, the thing Jungmo asked me on the phone just now gives me an inspiration.
In five minutes, I have dressed and go down by the elevator to my parking space. Not wasting any more time, I drive my car as fast as I can to Siwon’s hagwon.
The hagwon is so quiet, everyone is studying. I get in and in my confusion of where to start looking for Siwon, I just walk here and there in the halls, trying to catch glimpses of the classrooms. I’m afraid of security guards though, because I sure look like a criminal peeking to classrooms looking for prey.
“Hello, are you going in or not?” a soft voice from behind jolts me. For God’s sake I’m peeking at a classroom from the back window…
I turn around to find a blonde, handsome kid looking at me curiously.
“Oh, no, I’m…” I stutter.
“Wait,” the guy starts to look at me more carefully. “Are you… by chance, are you Yesung?”
“What?” I ask back, confused.
“Oh yeah, you’re Siwon’s Yesung Hyung!” the kid exclaims excitedly. “He has tons of your pictures on his phone and he talks about you all the time!”
I must look like an idiot now.
“Woah I finally can really meet you, Yesung Hyung!” he smiles widely. But seeing my confusion, he stops smiling and embarrassment is creeping on his handsome face. “Oh my God, I’m so rude. I’m Lee Donghae, nice to meet you, Hyung.”
“Oh… okay… I’m Yesung…”
“What are you doing here, Hyung? Looking for Siwon?” Donghae asks with fascinating speed.
“Yes,” I see a light of hope. “Do you know where he is?”
“He’s in the office, of course. Dealing with the administrations…” he points at a closed door far from where I stand.
“Why isn’t he in the class?” I ask before he could talk more.
“Because he’s moving back home, right? He’s gonna transfer to another hagwon in Mokpo, I guess.”
“What?” I can’t believe what this guy is saying!
Without much thinking, I run to the administration office. The white door is closed and I open it like a madman.
The two people inside are looking at me with surprise on their faces.
“Hyung?” Siwon sounds like he can’t believe his own eyes.
Meanwhile the woman administrator is visibly annoyed by my intrusion. “What is this?” she asks me, looking at me like I’m some disgusting thing on her sole.
“Siwon… we need… to talk,” i’m gasping for breath, looking at him like never before.
“Excuse me, please wait outside, we are in the middle of a talk here,” the woman administrator gets up from her chair and glares at me.
I can’t say anything but looking at Siwon with all my might. I’m so afraid that I couldn’t see him again and now that I see him in front of my eyes, planning to get away from me, I’m speechless. I don’t even realize that tears have already pooled in my two eyes.
Siwon looks at me too but then he appears to be able to compose himself and gets up from his seat.
“Hyung, please wait outside,” he says softly, eyes looking at me meaningfully. “I won’t be long.”
So I have to wait outside the room, I hopelessly sit on one of the chairs there, tears already streaming like a river from my two eyes. I sob and try to erase my tears, but they keep coming.
“Hyung,” a voice calls me and I look up hopefully, hoping that it’s Siwon’s.
But it’s the blonde kid I just met.
“Hyung, are you okay? Why are you crying?” he asks and sits beside me.
I just shake my head, and looking down at the floor, being super ashamed that a stranger sees me crying like this.
“Is it about Siwon?”
I don’t answer, just keep sobbing like an idiot.
“Ah, do you not want him to leave?” he asks and I’m surprised by the genuine tone of his question.
I glance at him and he really seems like he cares. He has this understanding look on his eyes and I don’t know, I feel like he is someone good.
“Siwon really loves you, Hyung,” the blonde says. “He always talks about you, shows us your pictures…”
I can only sob harder.
“I barely know Siwon for two weeks but I feel like I know you in person, just from the stories Siwon told me,” Donghae pats my shoulder. “He said he’s only been in love with you since God knows when.”
“Really?” I ask with a difficulty because of my sobs.
“Yes, tons of guys and girls ask him out, confessing to him every day that it annoys us, but he really doesn’t want anyone but you.”
I bury my face in my palms as I sob harder.
“Every day he would search for recipes on the internet and goes shopping in the super market to cook for you,” Donghae chuckles. “I got to accompany him one day and he really is meticulous. Everything has to be organic and healthy, fresh products…”
“I’m so blind…” I bite my nails.
I have never thought of how Siwon cooked, or prepared all the foods for me. All I know is that everything is always done, delicious, and I really had no idea that he did the shopping by himself too.
“I’m so blind,” I tell the blonde beside me.
“Siwon told us how you bite your nails,” he smiles. “And he copied you, without knowing, since he was little. He’s a nail biter too.”
“What should I do…?” I ask him pitifully.
“My name is Donghae, Hyung,” the blonde informs me again, reading my confusion.
“Donghae-ssi… tell me what should I do?” I ask him again.
“Be true to yourself,” Donghae is surprisingly wise, although his childish expressions don’t show it. “Tell him how you really feel and what do you want your relationship to be...”
“Woah, thank you so much, Donghae-ya,” a voice interrupts him.
Siwon is standing in front of me when I look up to him. He’s looking at his friend Donghae with a mixed expression, between annoyed and amused.
“Are you a love doctor now?” Siwon asks Donghae again while the blonde kid is smiling sheepishly at him.
“I was out to pee then I saw hyung,” Donghae answers quickly, still smiling mischievously.
“Si-Siwon-ah…” I call him.
And when he looks back at me, I just realize that I’ve been missing him so much. These few hours felt like a whole day labor since he’s gone from my apartment.
“Why are you here,” Siwon asks softly before sitting beside me. He sees my bloodshot eyes and kisses my hands.
“Wonie,” I stupidly say without knowing how to continue.
“Love Doctor’s mission complete!” I hear Donghae whisper happily to himself before walking away from us.
“Why are you crying, Baby Hyung?”
I can’t help my smile when I hear him calling me ‘Baby Hyung’ again. I didn’t realize how it hurt me when he changed to call me with just ‘Hyung’ since this morning.
I say nothing but I just throw myself to his broad chest. I wrap his body with my hands and I continue my cries on his embrace.
I sigh in bliss when I feel his hands holding me back, caressing my back softly. And I just realize how much I always enjoy the way he kisses my hair, like this…
“Don’t go,” I sob on his shirt. “Don’t leave me, Wonie…”
“But you know I have to move on,” Siwon’s voice sounds dreamy and far away from me. I can sense how much sadness is in his voice.
I shake my head on his chest.
“No you don’t…” I feel my tears wetting his shirt. “No, Wonie.”
“What do you mean?” Siwon asks, there’s a hint of hope in his tone, and it makes me smile happily.
“You don’t have to move on from me,” I let go of the hug, and looking at him with my ugly, puffy crying face. “I want us to be together…”
I bring his face closer to mine and kiss him with all my might. I can feel Siwon smiles in our kiss.
We now live together in a small, one bedroom apartment near Yonsei University. Siwon is studying management there and I’m on my last semester, doing my thesis.
I no longer have other ‘fuck buddies’ or ‘friends with benefits’ or whatever those are. I too, have cut all contacts with ‘Papa’ and left the huge and luxurious apartment he rented for me. I have also lost my monthly ‘pocket money’ from him, and all those facilities such as car, credit and debit cards. I have to work part time as a librarian and singer in cafes at night to afford a living.
Siwon comes from a rich family and he offered me to pay for all of my expenses but I don’t want to get back to be dependent to anyone the way I used too. Those years of living comfortably had cost me real love. I had never really felt love and I did sex just because it got me money and pleasure. Nothing more. Nothing deeper…
But now everything’s changed. I don’t do ‘sex’ anymore. I only ‘make love’.
Sex with Siwon is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had. The most fulfilling, the most satisfying, and I swear I would never change it for the world. Really, being with someone who really understands you, who makes you his first priority and would do literally anything to make you happy is so precious.
“Baby, wear the white one tonight, please?” Siwon whispers in my ear while hugging me from behind on the bed.
Gosh I didn’t realize he’s here already. I turn around to face him in surprise.
“Happy sixth month-versary,” he kisses me.
“Happy anniversary,” I smile naughtily at him.
“What’s with the smile?” he asks.
“Funny you should ask,” I bite my lip and Siwon’s face becomes radiant.
“Under the blanket?” he tugs at the blanket I use to wrap myself like a burrito.
“Your present…”
Impatiently he opens my blanket, and gasps in lust when he sees me in his wish.
“White lingerie… you’re the best, Baby…”
And when Siwon is deep inside me, giving me all his love, attention, and pleasure, I know God has granted me heaven on earth.
I need nothing more, but my beloved dongsaeng right here. My perfect guy, my heaven.
***
FIN
A/N: Happy new year, people! Let’s enjoy more YeWon in the future!