Squidbits
Squid is a big boy! He asks for me to read big kid paper books instead of board books sometimes - Green Eggs and Ham ("Eggs, Ham!"), The Seven Silly Eaters ("Da Peters?"), and The Sneetches ("About da Sneetchis?") are favorites. Of course, he's still not following the larger narrative, and the import of the stories is totally lost on him, but he sits and listens for the whole book. He likes to identify nouns - "da train!" "da dark!" - and the things he zeroes in on are often totally peripheral to the story or even the picture on the page. (The Sneetches is, according to him, about a rock, a ball, a key, a car, another rock, and a fish - go figure.) He still likes his board books - he can even "read" them along with me a lot of the time, since he has them partially memorized - but he's branching out.
Squid's alphabet song goes A-B-C-D-E-F-H-I-J-L-um-um-um-P-U-R-S-oo-V-T-double-oo-X-Y-an-Z-A-B-C-D-umm-singa-MEEE. His number line goes 1-2-3-6-7-8-9! 11-12-13-16! He can identify all the letters and numbers (through 9) on sight, but the sequencing still sort of escapes him. He's pretty fascinated by it all, though, and sings the alphabet song constantly, watches the Sesame Street DVDs about numbers and the alphabet ("watch ABC?"), and points out letters he knows in books and other print. Daycare may push some of this, but we haven't at all - we're encouraging his interest in it the way we encourage his interest in trains or fire trucks or anything else. It's neat to watch, though.
Language proceeds apace - he's a little chatterbox, and he's in the repeating stage where he just says something over and over until we respond to it. He's got all kinds of new nouns - "Q-tip," "crane," "termite," "garbage," "airport," etc. - and some new adjectives and verbs as well. He has learned the word "scared" but I don't think he really knows how it applies yet, as he is not really scared of anything as far as we can figure out. He tries it out in different contexts and we agree or disagree as appropriate. He's got a couple other things that aren't quite right - like he asks to "go home" a lot when we are already home (I think it's his way of saying he is over whatever is going on and wants to do something new). He still fills in sentences with Squiddish babble, and I often have to tell him I don't understand what he is saying, but he gets clearer and more articulate all the time, and he's pretty patient with me when I don't get it. Though that's the extent of his patience - delayed gratification is still not in the emotional vocabulary. (I don't think that one comes until the early to mid-twenties.)
Helpful Squid helps sweep the floor!
He's hit another physical fast-forward period as well. He's faster and wigglier and climbier than he was last month. He has learned to jump (the initial efforts were hilarious, involving crouching low and then straightening up really fast, without actually having his feet leave the ground) and has started dancing a little again, including an awesome foot move that looks a lot like stationary moonwalking. His sense of balance has developed, I think, to a point where he is comfortable with moving his feet in new ways - he also navigates the jungle gym at the park with meticulous care and great attention to where his weight is distributed. They say all kids this age are "little scientists" (I could have done without the experiment in liquid dynamics that involved pouring my coffee all over the couch, let me tell you), but it is nowhere more evident than at the park. I swear I could see him learning things about slope a few weeks back, and his attention to balance and force and momentum lately is clear.
We've also been running into some issues with my need for personal space. Frankly, I'm not super-surprised; I was expecting this to happen way before now. I remember talking to my online mamas group about it when I frequented them. Basically, I need personal space. I'm not averse to hugging or cuddling with people I know and like, but I don't like to have my space presumed upon, and the way toddlers crawl all over their mothers has always really geeched me out. I am not a jungle gym, a beanbag, or a trampoline! "Oh, it will be different when you have one of your own," people airily assured me, but you know what, people? Eff off. I'm pretty self-aware, and I know what bothers me.
Though for years it didn't, and I kind of hoped those people were right after all. But he's recently gotten much squirmier and more active, and also clingier, and it is making me nuts. He is up on me all the time! With his pointy elbows and knees and bossing me to make me hold the book just so or make my lap more comfortable for him! Augh! I mean, I don't blame him, let me be clear about that. Toddlers have no concept of personal space, and he loves me and wants to spend time near me...very near me...all the time...*twitch*. I mean, in some ways it's sweet, and I do love to cuddle with him when he's, well, cuddly - but I can't appreciate it when he wants to be both close and active. A few days ago I snapped at him in exasperation, "Stop climbing on me like I'm not a person!"
I feel like a freak for being so...non-maternal, in some ways. I think the personal space thing was part of why I hated breastfeeding, too - another body on me all the time was really hard to take - but I've never heard any other mother say anything like this. Am I really such an outlier, or is this just another one of those things "good mothers" don't talk about? Not that it's that important. I mean, eventually he and I will work it out. We're practicing reading with him sitting beside me rather than in my lap when he is being particularly squirrelly, and I'm picking him up and carrying him around less (at 30 pounds, that needs to phase out for the health of my back more than anything else). We'll adjust; I firmly believe that I can be loving and have personal boundaries at the same time.
But he's also going through the first phase of separation anxiety he's really had since a week or two when he was four months old. Or, not separation anxiety quite (though that's part of it - he wants both of us in the room with him at all times) but he's having real trouble with transitions, and it's made him extra-clingy. Squid hates change. Any change. Diaper change? Noooo! Clothing change? Noooo! He cries piteously when we leave the house in the morning and again when we drop him at daycare. Then he cries when we pick him up to go home! He cries when he goes into the bath, and then he cries when we take him out.
Although the anti-water bias is getting better, I must say, with hot weather. He still whimpers about going into the pool, but he actively asks for baths, showers, and handwashing on warm days, and water play with buckets or a hose is big with him. He will get his face wet (finally!) and can kick himself across the pool with a pool noodle to hang onto. The transitions in and out (and into and out of swim diapers/clothes) are still occasions for distress, but once he's in the water, he's enjoying himself. We hope to have him swimming - keeping himself afloat - very soon, for safety as well as fun purposes. The neighbors have been awesome about opening their pool to us whenever we like, and the YMCA has daily open swim sessions, so we'll have plenty of opportunity to practice, particularly once he starts up at the daycare that is housed at the Y, in August.
Curious Squid ain't afraid of no Dalek.
Oh, no! Exterminated!
As for the state of the mama, well. I am tired - low-level, PMS-driven exhaustion - and July is going to be busy in a myriad of ways (I am gone every single weekend, between work and family). But I will get to visit friends in Los Angeles, Portland, New Jersey, and New York, spend time with my Grammy, my mom, and my friend's new baby, and get involved in new projects at work, all of which are good things to do. June was sort of a difficult month, in some ways, and I wonder if my meds need to be re-calibrated, as I have been sadder, less patient, and more tired than circumstances warrant, but I will talk to my ~iatrist about that in August if it continues. Alcoholics Anonymous wisdom says never to make decisions when you are HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (in my case one would have to add "Hormonal" as well), but seriously, one or another of those conditions is semi-constant for me, so I'll have to muddle through and just be thankful that my life is materially and situationally so comfortable that I can coast for a while if I need to. I am grateful for that, as for so many things.
Squid's alphabet song goes A-B-C-D-E-F-H-I-J-L-um-um-um-P-U-R-S-oo-V-T-double-oo-X-Y-an-Z-A-B-C-D-umm-singa-MEEE. His number line goes 1-2-3-6-7-8-9! 11-12-13-16! He can identify all the letters and numbers (through 9) on sight, but the sequencing still sort of escapes him. He's pretty fascinated by it all, though, and sings the alphabet song constantly, watches the Sesame Street DVDs about numbers and the alphabet ("watch ABC?"), and points out letters he knows in books and other print. Daycare may push some of this, but we haven't at all - we're encouraging his interest in it the way we encourage his interest in trains or fire trucks or anything else. It's neat to watch, though.
Language proceeds apace - he's a little chatterbox, and he's in the repeating stage where he just says something over and over until we respond to it. He's got all kinds of new nouns - "Q-tip," "crane," "termite," "garbage," "airport," etc. - and some new adjectives and verbs as well. He has learned the word "scared" but I don't think he really knows how it applies yet, as he is not really scared of anything as far as we can figure out. He tries it out in different contexts and we agree or disagree as appropriate. He's got a couple other things that aren't quite right - like he asks to "go home" a lot when we are already home (I think it's his way of saying he is over whatever is going on and wants to do something new). He still fills in sentences with Squiddish babble, and I often have to tell him I don't understand what he is saying, but he gets clearer and more articulate all the time, and he's pretty patient with me when I don't get it. Though that's the extent of his patience - delayed gratification is still not in the emotional vocabulary. (I don't think that one comes until the early to mid-twenties.)
Helpful Squid helps sweep the floor!
He's hit another physical fast-forward period as well. He's faster and wigglier and climbier than he was last month. He has learned to jump (the initial efforts were hilarious, involving crouching low and then straightening up really fast, without actually having his feet leave the ground) and has started dancing a little again, including an awesome foot move that looks a lot like stationary moonwalking. His sense of balance has developed, I think, to a point where he is comfortable with moving his feet in new ways - he also navigates the jungle gym at the park with meticulous care and great attention to where his weight is distributed. They say all kids this age are "little scientists" (I could have done without the experiment in liquid dynamics that involved pouring my coffee all over the couch, let me tell you), but it is nowhere more evident than at the park. I swear I could see him learning things about slope a few weeks back, and his attention to balance and force and momentum lately is clear.
We've also been running into some issues with my need for personal space. Frankly, I'm not super-surprised; I was expecting this to happen way before now. I remember talking to my online mamas group about it when I frequented them. Basically, I need personal space. I'm not averse to hugging or cuddling with people I know and like, but I don't like to have my space presumed upon, and the way toddlers crawl all over their mothers has always really geeched me out. I am not a jungle gym, a beanbag, or a trampoline! "Oh, it will be different when you have one of your own," people airily assured me, but you know what, people? Eff off. I'm pretty self-aware, and I know what bothers me.
Though for years it didn't, and I kind of hoped those people were right after all. But he's recently gotten much squirmier and more active, and also clingier, and it is making me nuts. He is up on me all the time! With his pointy elbows and knees and bossing me to make me hold the book just so or make my lap more comfortable for him! Augh! I mean, I don't blame him, let me be clear about that. Toddlers have no concept of personal space, and he loves me and wants to spend time near me...very near me...all the time...*twitch*. I mean, in some ways it's sweet, and I do love to cuddle with him when he's, well, cuddly - but I can't appreciate it when he wants to be both close and active. A few days ago I snapped at him in exasperation, "Stop climbing on me like I'm not a person!"
I feel like a freak for being so...non-maternal, in some ways. I think the personal space thing was part of why I hated breastfeeding, too - another body on me all the time was really hard to take - but I've never heard any other mother say anything like this. Am I really such an outlier, or is this just another one of those things "good mothers" don't talk about? Not that it's that important. I mean, eventually he and I will work it out. We're practicing reading with him sitting beside me rather than in my lap when he is being particularly squirrelly, and I'm picking him up and carrying him around less (at 30 pounds, that needs to phase out for the health of my back more than anything else). We'll adjust; I firmly believe that I can be loving and have personal boundaries at the same time.
But he's also going through the first phase of separation anxiety he's really had since a week or two when he was four months old. Or, not separation anxiety quite (though that's part of it - he wants both of us in the room with him at all times) but he's having real trouble with transitions, and it's made him extra-clingy. Squid hates change. Any change. Diaper change? Noooo! Clothing change? Noooo! He cries piteously when we leave the house in the morning and again when we drop him at daycare. Then he cries when we pick him up to go home! He cries when he goes into the bath, and then he cries when we take him out.
Although the anti-water bias is getting better, I must say, with hot weather. He still whimpers about going into the pool, but he actively asks for baths, showers, and handwashing on warm days, and water play with buckets or a hose is big with him. He will get his face wet (finally!) and can kick himself across the pool with a pool noodle to hang onto. The transitions in and out (and into and out of swim diapers/clothes) are still occasions for distress, but once he's in the water, he's enjoying himself. We hope to have him swimming - keeping himself afloat - very soon, for safety as well as fun purposes. The neighbors have been awesome about opening their pool to us whenever we like, and the YMCA has daily open swim sessions, so we'll have plenty of opportunity to practice, particularly once he starts up at the daycare that is housed at the Y, in August.
Curious Squid ain't afraid of no Dalek.
Oh, no! Exterminated!
As for the state of the mama, well. I am tired - low-level, PMS-driven exhaustion - and July is going to be busy in a myriad of ways (I am gone every single weekend, between work and family). But I will get to visit friends in Los Angeles, Portland, New Jersey, and New York, spend time with my Grammy, my mom, and my friend's new baby, and get involved in new projects at work, all of which are good things to do. June was sort of a difficult month, in some ways, and I wonder if my meds need to be re-calibrated, as I have been sadder, less patient, and more tired than circumstances warrant, but I will talk to my ~iatrist about that in August if it continues. Alcoholics Anonymous wisdom says never to make decisions when you are HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (in my case one would have to add "Hormonal" as well), but seriously, one or another of those conditions is semi-constant for me, so I'll have to muddle through and just be thankful that my life is materially and situationally so comfortable that I can coast for a while if I need to. I am grateful for that, as for so many things.