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Nov 24, 2009 13:54

Yeah, I'm definitely having one of those posting frenzies that follow a long period of not writing anything. The current thought is that either I wasn't as good at communicating on LJ as I thought I was, or my skills have deteriorated from lack of use. Thinking about the fact that I've spent a large part of the last year being very successful in ( Read more... )

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vampyrecat November 24 2009, 04:01:58 UTC
I have learned to try to be more polite in comments and keep the rants in my own journal. I got in a fight with someone in another friend's journal because I felt that the 3rd party was encouraging my friend to cut herself. I try not to do that any more; now I would post a locked entry in my OWN journal, which I know the friend reads, about how encouraging people to cut themselves is asinine.

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nicked_metal November 24 2009, 04:14:02 UTC
I find that even posting a link back to your own public post has a way of making it less offensive. You can say "I really disagree with you. Feel free to ignore me, but if you want the details, you know where to find them." Seems to take the sting out of it.

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finding_helena November 24 2009, 06:49:07 UTC
I've learned to keep the disagreement in other people's comments to a minimum, and take long stuff to my own journal. But I've also learned that I can't be friends with people who can't handle or don't want a little dissent. That's just the way I interact. If someone wants only comments that agree with them, that's fine, but it doesn't work for me and when I read something they write and disagree I'm going to want to comment! By the same token, I don't mind when people disagree with me in my journal, as long as they aren't jerks about it.

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sanguinity November 24 2009, 19:30:57 UTC
I'm sorry I triggered you.

Is there something I could do (with an eye to next time) that would make triggering less likely?

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nicked_metal November 25 2009, 02:38:02 UTC
Please don't be sorry for triggering me!

My triggers are not your responsibility, and I feel like I'm a better person for having worked through my issues a little. Indeed, one thing that really pisses me off about some people with PTSD is that they think that the world is supposed to be safe and happy for them, and that everybody 'owes' them some kind of perfectly safe space.

You go out in the world, and you're going to encounter things you weren't ready for, and some of those things will hurt. It sucks that it hurts, but the alternative is to never go out into the world.

There is no reasonable thing you could have done to protect me from my own brain.

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sanguinity November 26 2009, 17:13:07 UTC
Understood. I'd be exceedingly surprised if I could guarantee my journal to be a happy safe place for anyone, as I can't even manage that for myself. But I figure it's still worth the question: sometimes it turns out that there's something you can do that's both useful and implementable, and it's a shame to miss out on those for a simple want of asking.

Re doing your own post: *nods*. Speaking from the perspective of an OP, for whatever reason, when it's not a comment on my own post I feel a lot more breathing space in whether/how/when I want to respond. And especially on a post about rape, that breathing space can be nice. :-)

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