Nice and insightful comment. I stepped over those social stigmas because the meat of this article was not a rant about how I should get to feel less guilty about masturbating but about how stigmatizing a behavior can make it harmful and self-perpetuating. If we want to make a better world, we have to stop placing blame and start accepting. People reason that accepting a behavior is the same thing as condoning it. Not true. People need acceptance so that they can become better people. Criminalizing or stigmatizing them and their behavior actively inhibits them from becoming better people.
I avoided making that very point, because I was afraid of stepping on toes. and well... It is nothing new to hear me saying masturbation is fine fun and okay by me.
Step on my toes. They've almost completely healed up. (Cross your fingers.) I get annoyed by discussion of masturbation in general because the answers devolve into, stop doing it, or who cares. There is a third answer which I find more likely to help people achieve true resolution, not a temporary abstinence or a truce in the discussion.
I feel the same way about homosexuality to be honest. Until there is total acceptance, we will never know whether sexual preference is truly a choice or not, because social pressures influence the data too much. How many heteros are only that because of peer pressure? How many gays choose that lifestyle for counterculture reasons?
Wow. I think I've come from a completely different planet at the moment.
What is wrong with masturbation? I agree that there are certain social norms humans should follow, but those are primarily to help fit in with society - but what you do in your own bedroom or bathroom is your own business, isn't it?
I did have one roommate who was compulsive about it and it got to the point where it interfered with the rest of his life (like getting up and going to work) but on the whole I'm seriously failing to see how masturbation is a sin. Does $DEITY really care? *shrug* I'd think that the bombing in the Middle East, the disease in Africa, the violent crime in the US and poverty and neglect everywhere would have a higher priority than somebody pleasuring themselves in the privacy of their own home.
Women and men have different masturbation stigmas. If you managed to grow up in a conservative religion and avoid absorbing those stigmas, you're lucky if not unique
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Actually, I grew up in a very conservative enviornment but not a religious one. I always went to religious schools, but they were not the religion of my parents so I started out with differing mind-sets. Masturbation just wasn't mentioned, but then neither was sex. That meant I sort of had to make up my own rules along the way
( ... )
See, I don't think that 'everything is rosy' is a good description for it as long as people exist under the impression that they have made an irrepairable error. And that's what today's religion teaches. And this is reinforced by stereotype and peer pressure.
There are only two acceptable answers to the masturbation question: 'No.' and the humorous, 'I-do-it-so-much-I-duct-taped-the-vaseline-jar-to-my-hand-to-save-time.'
It's been my experience that masturbation is an intimate and private issue. Yes, it's lampooned in popular media, but that's because jokes about whacking off are funny in a crude way (as are any jokes that deal with bodily functions). I've very seldom experienced any shame attached to the act. When I "discovered myself" my parents at first discussed the matter with my pediatrician who explained that it's a natural part of life. Hence, no shame in the act, only direction in appropriate times and places.
Talking about masturbation with your lover (in a certain context) is appropriate because it is an intimate subject that really should be shared. Talking about it with your children (in a different context) is part of parenting. Hell, even this discussion as it's progressing is appropriate.
Speaking from a woman's point of view, there are certain times where masturbation is near necessary due to hormonal changes. If youre a guy and you have a H.O. and youre about to go do something important in public, wouldnt you take care of that issue in the quickest way possible. It is a private issue, much as sex is, but it is TOO taboo in society. It is seen as evil and unnatural and gross. Well someimes the gross part is true. Anyway, I think the church's stance on it, as well as most things, is a little extreme. Complete avoidance so that no one has the chance to screw up only makes people screw up more. It can lead to some really bad emotional issues later (particularly in marriage or a sexual relationship)Moderation is the key. Take care of it on your own time and be aware of what you are doing. I think a lot of the problem/addiction to masturbating comes from losing yourself to those good feelings and not thinking or feeling.
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I feel the same way about homosexuality to be honest. Until there is total acceptance, we will never know whether sexual preference is truly a choice or not, because social pressures influence the data too much. How many heteros are only that because of peer pressure? How many gays choose that lifestyle for counterculture reasons?
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What is wrong with masturbation? I agree that there are certain social norms humans should follow, but those are primarily to help fit in with society - but what you do in your own bedroom or bathroom is your own business, isn't it?
I did have one roommate who was compulsive about it and it got to the point where it interfered with the rest of his life (like getting up and going to work) but on the whole I'm seriously failing to see how masturbation is a sin. Does $DEITY really care? *shrug* I'd think that the bombing in the Middle East, the disease in Africa, the violent crime in the US and poverty and neglect everywhere would have a higher priority than somebody pleasuring themselves in the privacy of their own home.
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There are only two acceptable answers to the masturbation question: 'No.' and the humorous, 'I-do-it-so-much-I-duct-taped-the-vaseline-jar-to-my-hand-to-save-time.'
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Talking about masturbation with your lover (in a certain context) is appropriate because it is an intimate subject that really should be shared. Talking about it with your children (in a different context) is part of parenting. Hell, even this discussion as it's progressing is appropriate.
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