surfacing

[nickelchief]

About a year ago I was saying that I was looking everywhere for the cure for all that ails me. I was desperate for answers, salves. I was casting myself in the role of invalid and pleading for just the right solution. Sometimes I hollered for a pill, sometimes a drink, sometimes a drip, sometimes just the right bullet, sometimes just a doctor

Comments

[nickelchief]

Well, that's it right there. You nailed it! Funny thing is, I've heard that sentiment before in various iterations, but it was surprising to have it suddenly make so much sense.

Now the challenge is just not to forget it.

[sun_set_bravely]

"You don't have to be in a hole to want to climb."

That's some damn fine advice there. I want to print this and hang it in front of my face all the time.

[roadnotes]

Thank you for this. As I wrestle with my own depression (and gods, that's oddly hard to write), it's good to read other people talking about it.

[nickelchief]

It's not an easy topic to write about. For me anyway, the lowest parts of the cycle involve self-censorship and silence. No LJ posts, no phone calls, unreturned emails, and isolation when I am most in need of being heard. And it sort of spirals downward from there.

If you're willing to write about your experience, I'm here to read you & hear you.

[daisydumont]

>But the starting point, my current, is not some suffocating depth, no full fathom five, but just a simple surface, a place that meets the horizon if you look up and out, not down and in.

how beautiful. i'm really happy to read this post!

cobalt blue is possibly my very favorite color.

[nickelchief]

Thanks for reading it. It sort of unravels at the end there, as I was trying to finish it off during the Rambly Hour of the night.

My favorite color too. Here, have a blue icon!

true blue

[theotoky]

so beautiful, m. i am so happy and relieved and overjoyed for you.

Re: true blue

[nickelchief]

Thanks! I hope to hold on to this feeling for as long as I can.

Re: true blue

[nickelchief]

Also, I am captivated by your icon. You look beautiful, powerful, and supersmart. Cool yet hott.

Re: true blue

[theotoky]

why thank you! it was a fun series to do.

[sun_set_bravely]

You are truly extraordinary, sir. The forces that would have us believe we are less than, we are damaged, are all around us every day. It takes great strength and courage to say NO to all of that, and to just approve of ourselves exactly where we are, to know that we are much more than even we might be able to perceive.

Here's to the sky, to blue, to buoyancy.

[nickelchief]

In my yoof I believed without doubt that I was "much more than even [I] might be able to perceive."

But along the way I lost that sense of optimism. Now the work begins to relearn it, and keep it close.

Cheers! *clink*