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cold
Its cold tonight. Its nights like this that i really wish there was someone in my life. Someone i could hold onto, Someone I could cuddle up with under warm blankets... Someone like Chris. I was listening to the radio and the weather guy said "tomarrow should be zero and sunny" WTF? Zero and sunny shouldnt be int he same sentance. Just another cold ( Read more... ) -
long day
you ever work overtime because some other jack ass couldnt be ontime? well i did tonight. then i found out my ride left me because she thaught i left already. god i fucking hate people. -
a bit of light today?
OK, so i thaught it was going to be just another boreing day!I started my new job... yeah no excitement there. But tonight i got home, made my dinner and then decided after sitting in my chair for about 15 mins.... i thaught ehhh, ill go into the Gay male chatroom, what would i have to loose? So anyways, i went into the chat rooma nd sent out my ( Read more... ) -
Am i phsycotic / or Crazy?
I think I might have hit that point... the point in which i might of totally lost my mind. I miss Chris so much. I wish he would just say something to me. Do you ever imagine that the person yo love is in the car with you? The other night i was driving home from Hartord and the only thing that made me feel happy was to think that Chris was right ( Read more... ) -
thanksgiving alone!
Well, I tried to talk to my parents again. It almost ended with me in jail. Apparently being a faggot is to much for my parents to bare. Its so weird, I remember when I was little, I would watch all those movies and read all those books about how families would brake up and i would just say something like. "just appologise" But what do you do when ( Read more... ) -
Alone
When you truly are alone, especially during the night when the shadows of trees dance from side to side on your ceiling, the lights of cars darting from one side of the room to the other. The only comfort coming from the window fan, whose constant waning is that which millions of us fall asleep to every night. The wind slightly blows outside and ( Read more... ) -
Am i really that ugly? undesirable?
On Last Thursday I sent mesages to over 30 people on DList. Just normal messages that said "hi looking to make new friends, hit me up if your interested." I went to sleep then I went to work the next day. When I got hom i signed onto Dlist and it said that all of the messages were opened and read. None of the 30 people responded. On Monday I sent ( Read more... ) -
finally going insane
Today was just another day at the hospital. I got sick earlier this week but I still had to go to work because i had so much work to do. Fromt he second I walked into work I just new this was not going to be a good day. People I work with just kept nagging me all day long and I came so close to snaping. I went to game tonight with the guy friends, ( Read more... ) -
worried.
So I have been talking to a girl from Canada on LJ. We have been sending mesages back and forth to each other for a couple weeks. I loved talking to her and I could never wait to get her mesages. I loved talkiing to her because I could be myself around her, and she didnt care. I havent gotten a mesage from here in over 2 weeks. Im affraid. Im ( Read more... ) -
suicide
Im a little worried. I have been talking to this kid called Bijan. Tonight he asked me a question. He asked me if there was anyone I was interested in. I told him that there was in fact a guy that i really liked, but I didnt tell him what I did. I told him that i hate myself for what I did. I told him that I wont be able to forgive myself until ( Read more... )