Kara/Sam manifesto-ish thing
Cross-posting this here from tumblr, because it's 1600 words long and I Think I Kinda Nailed It, but looking at it in tiny tumblr font is making me go blind.
Previously on tumblr: Rachael made a post about how great Samuel T. Anders is, with intentionally minimal stuff about Kara but she also said:
I don’t actually ship them all that much [...] so other people would be able to do the Kara aspect much more justice than I could.
AND I TOOK THAT AS A CHALLENGE. :p 'Cause I think it is really meaningful (and much more rare) to talk about him independently and not as an accessory to the romance side of her arc. I know we've COVERED all the ship stuff already, as a fandom. But whatever else he did on the show, from good-hearted insurgent guy to Cylon Bob Dylan, his primary role will forever be Starbuck's boytoy-turned-husband, and I grew to love him for that alongside everything else and I want to talk about it. A lot.
His love and support of Kara is a huge part of his character and existence in the show. He falls in quick, head-over-heels love with her when he first meets her, because that’s just what you DO with Kara Thrace -- because she’s a magnetic, charismatic force of nature, because she’s tough-talking and committed and has an adorable smile and even saved him and what remained of his friends. Anybody would fall in love with that Kara. And as much of a natural leader as he himself is, as equally matched as they are in courage and different sorts of battle experience, he doesn’t chafe at all at her taking charge and putting his strength firmly behind her. He never does.
I love that Sam, while being traditionally masculine and action-oriented in every way, also occupies this gender atypical role of being the one who waits for her. She was the soldier girl on a mission beyond him, he could go *with* her but it's not where he belongs, he could hold her back but doesn’t. And so he becomes the lost love left behind, patiently waiting for her to return for him, knowing in his heart that she might never for one reason or another, but holding onto this talisman and hope of being reunited etc. And that's really *it* for him until she does get back, and there’s no bitterness that she took too long or for all they’ve lost in between, he’s just ecstatic to see her again.
I love that he follows her into her world. I love that they have the kind of relationship where they’re constantly, affectionately teasing and being sarcastic at each other, because I don’t want to know what it says about me but that’s a kind of love that I really get. I love that he caught a terrifying flash of something when she demanded he make a suicide pact with her if they were gonna be captured, I could talk about that scene forever.
And then in the big controversial bulk of their relationship, past the year jump and into the darker aftermath of New Caprica, what becomes important to me -- for two people who got together knowing very, very little about each other -- is how much he does know about her. He knows about Leoben and her mother. He knows about Lee. He knows firsthand what it’s like when the insults stop being playful and teasing and become actively malicious, selfish, self-destructive behavior. And it seems like a really basic, naive thing, but he knows her this way and still loves and accepts her completely. Kara's own feelings and needs in all this are complicated and open to lots of fan interpretations, but his are really, almost hilariously, not.
So there’s this thing in the ~ship war~ days of fandom that always drove me crazy and it was the idea that Sam Anders was weak and a pushover for that reason, almost not 'man' enough for her because he was overly chill and supportive. (You know, immediately following a period where she was pulled out of their previously fine relationship and held hostage by a delusional robot who wanted her to fall in love with him for four months, while Sam didn't know if she was alive or dead. That part seems relevant to me but WHAT DO I KNOW.) I tend to think it made him one of the stronger, more mature characters on the show, in his complete lack of artifice. He loved her and was willing to be there for her in whatever way she needed him to be, with the not-unreasonable hope that they'd ultimately sort things out. She needed to be away from him because New Caprica had fucked her up, he gave her space. She needed him to come back for an hour or two whenever she wanted sex or to be close to someone, he gave her that. It's not that complicated!
It’s not that it never veered into fucked-up and masochistic territory - ‘cause you know, “The Ties That Bind” scene where she verbally assaults and then has violent sex with him is a thing that exists, though by that point they were both in such a surreal place about their own identities they were almost acting out a parody of their relationship. But for the MOST part, that whole arc in season three where they were estranged from each other, what I saw was Kara going through a super confusing and crazy-making time in her life, and Sam just trying to give whatever amount of support she'd let him, because he cared about her and he could handle it. And I will never ever buy into the very (cross)fandom-y concept that being too accepting, too normal, too “easy” and “safe” is the antithesis of Real Love. Like Sam never getting into actual fisticuffs or making her hate herself = no passion! no spark! love should be dangerous and difficult and NOT safe, says me at fourteen.
(I feel like I should add here that I am not trashing the SS Kara/Lee for the fisticuffs aspect or any other, but I may have side-eyed you if you ever made THAT specific argument in favor of them over K/S. It’s not like Sam never, ever questioned or challenged her - hello “Collaborators”. It's SO VERY SAM that the one line he draws and won't stand for is about hurting an innocent third party (or maybe even not innocent, as far as Sam knew), because he was literally just there himself and regrets it. That he didn’t always challenge her over having a bad attitude or sleeping with someone else =/= zero conflict. That shit just didn't matter to him, and I’d argue that is just as valid an expression of loving her as anything.)
Also, broken record here, he didn’t want to let go of their relationship only to the extent that she didn’t want to let go either - because I will remind you again that he flat-out told her, genuinely and without spite, that if she really wanted to be with Lee, she should go and do that; but if she did believe in them being together for a reason, he was pretty much always going to be there. Something I have never had any time for in BSG fandom is people who laud Lee for his inability to stay away from Kara on one hand, yet denigrate Sam, the person who actually MARRIED HER UNDER THE GODS, for stubbornly refusing to go away from the show and actually wanting to salvage their relationship and not give up on her.
I love that her death ripped him apart, to the point of denial and public embarrassment, and I love how it was in contrast to Lee (which also - valid! expressions!) who kept it so internal and almost had to envy that release, and I LOVE THAT HE WASN’T EVEN MAD AT LEE, because they could never maintain even that shirtless algae pissing match for the length of an episode without Sam just being like “yeah this guy is all right, let’s fist-bump it out" so even in an episode where Lee and Adama are bitching at each other over who is grieving her more, Sam is just like CRUSHING KARA LOSS HIGH FIVE BRO, YOU GET ME. And then with literally nowhere to go in her absence, he makes this weird attempt to like try to find her in himself?! and join the organized military and start flying Vipers even though he’s terrible at it, his very future in the fleet still defined by her even while he’s trying to go on living, ~love outlasts death and all.
And without dismissing any of the other awesome stuff that came out of Sam’s Cylon arc, which Rachael has touched on more than once - because “Faith” is such an amazingly underrated episode, you guys - the first thing on his mind was Kara accepting or hating him for it. In all his angst over his potential dangerousness, the lies he'd been living, what it means about his own worth and the people he's lost, the first thing that would’ve made it okay for him was knowing that she was going through the same thing, or at least something similar enough that she'd understand, and they'd have this together.
OH ALSO, THAT HIS VERY LOVE FOR HER EVEN WHEN SHE’S GONE SERVES AS AN EXPLICIT METAPHOR FOR THE FUTILITY OF CAVIL’S REASONS FOR THE NEAR-GENOCIDE. HIS LACK OF REGRET FOR LOVING HER. AND THAT HIS LAST WORDS ARE A PROMISE TO WAIT FOR HER AGAIN.
*ahem* sorry, I just love Kara/Sam a lot and it mirrors my other OTPs in this show (Gaius/Caprica, Ellen/Saul) in the fact that it was originally supposed to mean NOTHING and ended up meaning everything. And I just love when that happens - I have an almost allergic reaction to planned OTPs and I love surprise!OTPs, it's just the way I roll. You can imagine it has not served me well in almost any show except BSG.
Previously on tumblr: Rachael made a post about how great Samuel T. Anders is, with intentionally minimal stuff about Kara but she also said:
I don’t actually ship them all that much [...] so other people would be able to do the Kara aspect much more justice than I could.
AND I TOOK THAT AS A CHALLENGE. :p 'Cause I think it is really meaningful (and much more rare) to talk about him independently and not as an accessory to the romance side of her arc. I know we've COVERED all the ship stuff already, as a fandom. But whatever else he did on the show, from good-hearted insurgent guy to Cylon Bob Dylan, his primary role will forever be Starbuck's boytoy-turned-husband, and I grew to love him for that alongside everything else and I want to talk about it. A lot.
His love and support of Kara is a huge part of his character and existence in the show. He falls in quick, head-over-heels love with her when he first meets her, because that’s just what you DO with Kara Thrace -- because she’s a magnetic, charismatic force of nature, because she’s tough-talking and committed and has an adorable smile and even saved him and what remained of his friends. Anybody would fall in love with that Kara. And as much of a natural leader as he himself is, as equally matched as they are in courage and different sorts of battle experience, he doesn’t chafe at all at her taking charge and putting his strength firmly behind her. He never does.
I love that Sam, while being traditionally masculine and action-oriented in every way, also occupies this gender atypical role of being the one who waits for her. She was the soldier girl on a mission beyond him, he could go *with* her but it's not where he belongs, he could hold her back but doesn’t. And so he becomes the lost love left behind, patiently waiting for her to return for him, knowing in his heart that she might never for one reason or another, but holding onto this talisman and hope of being reunited etc. And that's really *it* for him until she does get back, and there’s no bitterness that she took too long or for all they’ve lost in between, he’s just ecstatic to see her again.
I love that he follows her into her world. I love that they have the kind of relationship where they’re constantly, affectionately teasing and being sarcastic at each other, because I don’t want to know what it says about me but that’s a kind of love that I really get. I love that he caught a terrifying flash of something when she demanded he make a suicide pact with her if they were gonna be captured, I could talk about that scene forever.
And then in the big controversial bulk of their relationship, past the year jump and into the darker aftermath of New Caprica, what becomes important to me -- for two people who got together knowing very, very little about each other -- is how much he does know about her. He knows about Leoben and her mother. He knows about Lee. He knows firsthand what it’s like when the insults stop being playful and teasing and become actively malicious, selfish, self-destructive behavior. And it seems like a really basic, naive thing, but he knows her this way and still loves and accepts her completely. Kara's own feelings and needs in all this are complicated and open to lots of fan interpretations, but his are really, almost hilariously, not.
So there’s this thing in the ~ship war~ days of fandom that always drove me crazy and it was the idea that Sam Anders was weak and a pushover for that reason, almost not 'man' enough for her because he was overly chill and supportive. (You know, immediately following a period where she was pulled out of their previously fine relationship and held hostage by a delusional robot who wanted her to fall in love with him for four months, while Sam didn't know if she was alive or dead. That part seems relevant to me but WHAT DO I KNOW.) I tend to think it made him one of the stronger, more mature characters on the show, in his complete lack of artifice. He loved her and was willing to be there for her in whatever way she needed him to be, with the not-unreasonable hope that they'd ultimately sort things out. She needed to be away from him because New Caprica had fucked her up, he gave her space. She needed him to come back for an hour or two whenever she wanted sex or to be close to someone, he gave her that. It's not that complicated!
It’s not that it never veered into fucked-up and masochistic territory - ‘cause you know, “The Ties That Bind” scene where she verbally assaults and then has violent sex with him is a thing that exists, though by that point they were both in such a surreal place about their own identities they were almost acting out a parody of their relationship. But for the MOST part, that whole arc in season three where they were estranged from each other, what I saw was Kara going through a super confusing and crazy-making time in her life, and Sam just trying to give whatever amount of support she'd let him, because he cared about her and he could handle it. And I will never ever buy into the very (cross)fandom-y concept that being too accepting, too normal, too “easy” and “safe” is the antithesis of Real Love. Like Sam never getting into actual fisticuffs or making her hate herself = no passion! no spark! love should be dangerous and difficult and NOT safe, says me at fourteen.
(I feel like I should add here that I am not trashing the SS Kara/Lee for the fisticuffs aspect or any other, but I may have side-eyed you if you ever made THAT specific argument in favor of them over K/S. It’s not like Sam never, ever questioned or challenged her - hello “Collaborators”. It's SO VERY SAM that the one line he draws and won't stand for is about hurting an innocent third party (or maybe even not innocent, as far as Sam knew), because he was literally just there himself and regrets it. That he didn’t always challenge her over having a bad attitude or sleeping with someone else =/= zero conflict. That shit just didn't matter to him, and I’d argue that is just as valid an expression of loving her as anything.)
Also, broken record here, he didn’t want to let go of their relationship only to the extent that she didn’t want to let go either - because I will remind you again that he flat-out told her, genuinely and without spite, that if she really wanted to be with Lee, she should go and do that; but if she did believe in them being together for a reason, he was pretty much always going to be there. Something I have never had any time for in BSG fandom is people who laud Lee for his inability to stay away from Kara on one hand, yet denigrate Sam, the person who actually MARRIED HER UNDER THE GODS, for stubbornly refusing to go away from the show and actually wanting to salvage their relationship and not give up on her.
I love that her death ripped him apart, to the point of denial and public embarrassment, and I love how it was in contrast to Lee (which also - valid! expressions!) who kept it so internal and almost had to envy that release, and I LOVE THAT HE WASN’T EVEN MAD AT LEE, because they could never maintain even that shirtless algae pissing match for the length of an episode without Sam just being like “yeah this guy is all right, let’s fist-bump it out" so even in an episode where Lee and Adama are bitching at each other over who is grieving her more, Sam is just like CRUSHING KARA LOSS HIGH FIVE BRO, YOU GET ME. And then with literally nowhere to go in her absence, he makes this weird attempt to like try to find her in himself?! and join the organized military and start flying Vipers even though he’s terrible at it, his very future in the fleet still defined by her even while he’s trying to go on living, ~love outlasts death and all.
And without dismissing any of the other awesome stuff that came out of Sam’s Cylon arc, which Rachael has touched on more than once - because “Faith” is such an amazingly underrated episode, you guys - the first thing on his mind was Kara accepting or hating him for it. In all his angst over his potential dangerousness, the lies he'd been living, what it means about his own worth and the people he's lost, the first thing that would’ve made it okay for him was knowing that she was going through the same thing, or at least something similar enough that she'd understand, and they'd have this together.
OH ALSO, THAT HIS VERY LOVE FOR HER EVEN WHEN SHE’S GONE SERVES AS AN EXPLICIT METAPHOR FOR THE FUTILITY OF CAVIL’S REASONS FOR THE NEAR-GENOCIDE. HIS LACK OF REGRET FOR LOVING HER. AND THAT HIS LAST WORDS ARE A PROMISE TO WAIT FOR HER AGAIN.
*ahem* sorry, I just love Kara/Sam a lot and it mirrors my other OTPs in this show (Gaius/Caprica, Ellen/Saul) in the fact that it was originally supposed to mean NOTHING and ended up meaning everything. And I just love when that happens - I have an almost allergic reaction to planned OTPs and I love surprise!OTPs, it's just the way I roll. You can imagine it has not served me well in almost any show except BSG.