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[ACTION] virulentfacade December 25 2010, 18:28:51 UTC
[sometime, in the early morning before the ship is bustling, a small homunculus had crept into cabin 3-2 where the redheaded smoker lives. Envy doesn't know if that monk is still there. he doesn't know if he's living there or in a cell or as someone's pet, and he doesn't care.

the carcass of a freshly slaughtered and well-mutilated pig is deposited into the fridge. shelves and food have been removed to make room for the hundreds of pounds of bloody swine. but don't worry--the refrigerator will keep it fresh.

amongst the mess of gore, a single and somewhat messy circle of skin has been cut away from the center of the dead pig's forehead. they're human, after all. they're idiots. if they can't get the meaning of the pig alone, then maybe a bit more symbolism will help.

whatever the case, Envy's fairly certain the message will be passed along to a certain pig monk on Christmas.]

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) prayforprey December 28 2010, 09:49:32 UTC
[ CLICK ]

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 09:50:27 UTC
...

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 09:50:41 UTC
[RRRING...]

[RRRING...]

[RRRING...]

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 09:50:51 UTC
[RRRING...]

[RRRING...]

[RRRING...]

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) prayforprey December 28 2010, 09:54:45 UTC
[ this time, the one to answer his Guide is not Genkaku, but a shy-sounding, hissing alien; ]

A-ah, ssssir, zi Boss would lihke me to i-ah-nform you zhat he is noht available to tehke yaor call...

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 09:58:14 UTC
IF YOU DON'T GIVE YER BOSS THAT GODDAMN GUIDE, I'M GONNA CUT OFF WHATEVER YOU'RE USIN' TO LISP AT ME LIKE A QUEERSHIT PRIDE PARADE.

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) prayforprey December 28 2010, 10:03:00 UTC
[ a yelp and a quick scuffle, and the monk's voice returns in a chuckle-warm huff ]

Awright, s'a matter.

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 10:05:16 UTC
Did he just piss his tentacles? He's gonna sniiiitch, stop pickin' up little lost lambs awready.

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) prayforprey December 28 2010, 10:08:05 UTC
He's real good at stealth an' bein' afraid'a me. Lambs are good for more'n a slaughter, y'know?

C'mon, get outta my Business. What's up.

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 10:09:49 UTC
Nnnnhhhhmmmmmmokay.

Right right, 'course. Here's the riddle.

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 10:15:36 UTC
What's bright eyed, pointy-eared, drippin' with entrails, ruinin' all my lunch meat?

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 10:16:18 UTC
Any idea? Any? Maybe I'll give ya another hint since I know you ain't the brightest bulb in the spaceship -

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 10:17:07 UTC
THERE'S FOURTY POUNDS'A PIGHEAD IN MY FRIDGE WEARIN' YOUR FACE.

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) nicotine_patch December 28 2010, 10:17:35 UTC
It's almost - an exact - likeness!

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Re: ( PHONECALL ) prayforprey December 28 2010, 10:23:08 UTC
[ of course he immediately gets the image, the meaning, the sender, and the not-so-subtle intentions ]

[ but that doesn't stop him from acting like an asshole. ]

S'this a euphemism? Yeah I know I'd taste real good t'you, but this is goin' a little far.

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