A QUICK GUIDE TO ALTERNIA/TROLL CULTURE
EDIT: this post is a million years old stop leaving me comments i don't care how did you even??? find???? this???? free me
I am doing all of the guides. All of them.
Also I am pretty sure in this case the "quick" will be misleading.
First off: troll basics!! Trolls are the dominating species of a planet called ALTERNIA. They are nocturnal and violent creatures that seem mostly based on insects, though they have a fair resemblance to humans. Trolls have grey skin, black lips, fangs, candycorn (minus the white) colored horns in a variety of shapes, yellow nails, black hair and orange eyes with grey iris that later on in life turn the color of their blood.
As there is no snow on Alternia, trolls might or might not be cold-blooded. Who knows. But mostly they are made to live in hotter weather. This is partly because Alternia's sun is very old and very huge and very red and thus VERY BLISTERING.
They do not bury their dead.
In previous guides, I've loosely mentioned that there are both seadweller and land dweller trolls. The difference is this: sea dwellers have gills. Land dwellers do not.
Also they hate each other bluh bluh rivalry and troll racism bluh. And seadwellers are higher on the blood caste. Yay.
Trolls are CONQUERORS OF THE GALAXY. They have conquered many planets and rule over them like dictators. Yay.
Trolls live in a caste system under the rule of an Empress. The Empress is titled HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION, and the current one may actually still be alive! (This is surprising because of Sburb, which I will make a guide about later. I will mention this often probably.) Basically yay medieval aliens that conquer the galaxy(ies?).
Let us now explore a typical troll's childhood. As I mentioned in my guide on troll reproduction, trolls are born of the mother grub. Symbiosis with nature all over this place, bitches. The MOTHER GRUB lives deep underground, in the BROODING CAVERNS. She lays hundreds of thousands of eggs at once. When those eggs hatch, trolls look like ... well. They look like adorable little larvae.
Larval trolls are called wrigglers. When they are ready, wrigglers will locate and attach themselves to a super cozy stalagmite (lolno) where they will spin their cocoons. TROLLS. ARE. BUTTERFLIES. Once a troll pupates and now looks like the trolls we know and fear love, they will use their newly formed limbs and undergo a series of trials in what I like to call but isn't actually called the caves of despair. If the troll succeeds (read: lives through) these trials, they will then be chosen by a member of the diverse and terrifying subterranean monster population native to Alternia, beasts known as a LUSUS NATURAE.
Adult trolls and young trolls get along about as well as fire and oil, which is to say DEATH AND MAYHEM will happen. Which is why a lusus acts as a lifelong bodyguard and caretaker (as well as a monster can be a caretaker really) and a ... weird sort of mentor to its troll. Meanwhile, the troll gets to be a zookeeper. Together, they fight crime will surface and choose a location to build a HIVE.
Troll culture encourages their young to learn architecture and build stuff! This is related to SBURB, which I will get into in a later guide.
The building process is aided by carpenter droids, left on the planet for the young to lovingly abuse. By which I mean they are left there to cater the young. Of course. I've mentioned this in my guide to the hemospectrum, but the higher up on it a troll is, the bigger a troll's hive is allowed to be. Trolls don't necessarily cater to this, though-- while Vriska and Equius very much amused themselves with HUGE EMPTY HIVES, Gamzee's is pretty standard, even if living next to the ocean is pretty rare for land-dwelling trolls. The ocean is dangerous, bluh bluh.
Trolls can live in cities or even communal hives-- Karkat has neighbors, Vriska and Equius live in a city mostly consisting of high bloods by the size of the houses, and Sollux lives in what can only be the troll equivalent of apartments. They can basically live anywhere they want, surrounded by people or not, etc.
Since a large majority of adults don't live on Alternia itself for reasons I will get into later, it's up to young trolls to maintain the culture and civilization of the planet. This means trolls are tested throughout their lives to prove their strength to ensure the race remains at its peak. This does mean children will be arbitrarily CULLED for little to no reason! :D TROLL LIFE IS SO MUCH FUN.
MOVING ON FROM TROLL CHILDHOOD. And mostly from troll neighborhoods what is wrong with me and my obsession.
Trolls are by nature a very violent species. In order to quell their terrible visions of BLOOD and CARNAGE, trolls sleep in a RECUPERACOON full of SOPOR SLIME. Sopor slime is a slime that is helpful for sleeping but should not be eaten. Ever.
For an example of what sopor slime does to your brain, see Gamzee. But basically: IT ROTS YOU FROM THE INSIDE, BROTHER. :o)
While the kids and trolls communicate using pesterchum/trollian, Alternia indeed has a language and alphabet of its own! The alphabet is called the DAEDRIC ALPHABET and looks like this. There are no daedric numbers, however, and an old journal from Vriska's ancestor (which I will get into shortly) has spaces where the eights should be.
What that means for troll written language and their V3RY SP3C14L WA4 OF SP34K1NG SOM3T1M3S? Fuck if I know. Since this is mostly a text based media, there is no canon for how troll language "sounds". Bluh bluh.
Moving on to the troll calendar!
A year for trolls is called a SOLAR SWEEP. It is the equivalent of 2.16(infinity) Earth years. Aka 26 months.
Alternia has two moons. A PERIGEE is the moment one of these moons is closest to it. All perigees mentioned in the comic have been bilunar, which probably means both moons have the same orbit. There are at least 24 perigees in one solar sweep, based on the fact that Karkat's wriggling day (which I will get to shortly) falls on the 12th bilunar perigee of the 6th dark season's equinox and there should be two equinoxes per solar sweep.
And now for troll SEASONS. So far, only two seasons have been mentioned: the DARK SEASON, of which there are at least six during a solar sweep. A dark season means that it remains dusk for most of the day. There are also DIM SEASONS, of which there are at least two during a sweep. I have no idea what they consist of. MAYBE IT IS NEAR DAWN FOR MOST OF THE DAY. Ha ha ha ha.
Moving on. I've mentioned EQUINOXES. We assume there are two per solar sweep! Perigees can be counted between equinoxes as well as during solar sweeps. THIS MEANS NOTHING. NOTHING.
When speaking to the kids, trolls use the term month, though it's likely they have no idea what it means. That happens a lot. Trolls use the terms day/week pretty freely, but fuck knows if those are actually terms for any reason. Bluh bluh. Days are however never numbered, not even when related to a perigee. There's a 50/50 percent chance trolls measure time in hours-- they do so in the game, but that might just be a feature of the game in general. :T Screw you Hussie.
Since we're on to the calendar: TROLL HOLIDAYS. I've mentioned Karkat's WRIGGLING DAY. As you may have guessed, this is the troll equivalent to a birthday. Except trolls think their wriggling day are an excuse to lament on their insufficiencies fuck you firefox that is so a word instead of an excuse to celebrate. Trolls why so boring.
12TH PERIGEE'S EVE is the only other troll holiday we know of. It seems to be the troll equivalent to Christmas with some element of New Year's Eve thrown in. We assume this perigee is counted by the solar sweep instead of equinox, since there is only one of it per year. Bluh bluh math is hard. The trolls either decorate their hives or stay inside, and their lusus goes to collect a ... behemoth leaving. I. No, I'm serious, that is exactly what they say. THEIR CHRISTMAS TREE IS. EITHER POOP OR A CORPSE. I DON'T KNOW. LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
HEY ZIA ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT TROLLIAN INSTEAD?? No.
No I am not.
... Ugh fine. Trollian is a chat program that solely the trolls use, and I am so mad at myself that my intro had "pestering" instead of "trolling" because I wasn't paying attention. It is a fairly new program, and in no way related to actual troll culture. :| BLUH BLUH.
Let us now move on and talk about troll movies. Or well entertainment in general. But mostly movies, because Karkat loves movies.
Troll movies have been around for MILLENNIUMS, meaning that they have run out of succinct titles. So their movie titles pretty much describe the entire movie. Let's quote Karkat to give (part of) an example: CG: WHEREIN NUMEROUS VIGILANTES CONFRONT PERIL; ONE OF THEM BETRAYS THE OTHERS; (BUT IT TURNS OUT TO BE PART OF THE PLAN ALL ALONG);
CG: SEVERAL ATTRACTIVE FEMALE LEADS PROVOKE ROMANTIC TENSION; FOUR MAJOR CHARACTERS WEAR UNUSUAL HATS; ONE HOLDS PLOT-CRITICAL SECRET;
CG: 47 ON-SCREEN EXPLOSIONS, ONE RESULTING IN DEMISE OF KEY-ADVERSARY; 6 to 20 LINES THAT COULD BE CONSTRUED AS HUMOROUS;" and then it supposedly goes on but Karkat stops wanting to say it.
Usually they do not mention the title outloud. They just go to the theater. Comparatively, TV is a much more recent medium, meaning that they can have titles such as THE TRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR. That's good, because otherwise making that joke would be so hard you guys. So hard.
Troll Indiana Jones also exists. :|
Enough of bad jokes, back to more serious crap: the troll justice system.
In troll court, you are guilty until proved innocent. Usually, being proved innocent happens post-culling. That's right! EVEN MORE WAYS TO DIE ARBITRARILY. Legislators propose evidence in front of HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY.
He has seemingly been alive for centuries. His form is extremely large and well-armored like a crustacean. He has six horns which appear in three rows, the first being a crab's claws, the second being sickles, and the last as normal troll horns (albeit extremely large). He strongly resembles an Imperial Drone. Unlike any other character in Homestuck, His Honorable Tyranny has black blood.
IS HE A TROLL? IS HE A DRONE? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHO CARES. The important part is that the troll justice system is just as skewed towards making no sense as everything else in troll culture.
Moving on from horror. Trolls have a number of potential jobs they can do FOR THE EMPIRE once they enter adulthood. Most of them have to do with MINDLESS KILLING. You are so shocked right now I bet. So shocked.
Let's use the examples the trolls in-game have used! For one, Karkat wants to be a threshecutioner. They are the most lethal members of Troll society. They use sickles. They are executioners! We've mentioned legislators! Basically the worst lawyers ever. There are also subjugglators which are ... more a cult than anything. Bluh. And cavalreapers. They are a cavalry. That use lance. And kill people. Basically, most of the future troll jobs are about participating in either the mindless culling or being part of the elite fighting troops out in the world conquering worlds and JUST KILLING. SO MUCH KILLING.
You can also be a pirate.
this is stupid why did I even bother mentioning this
MOVING. ON.
ANCESTORS are a concept in troll society. While trolls do not have parents, it is believed by most trolls that they have "ancestors". An ancestor is a troll who lived centuries ago and is a close genetic match to the younger troll. I have said the word troll in this guide so many times I am about to kill myself. I mean, uh. Where was I.
Young trolls believe that they are supposed to find clues about their ancestors (IF THEY BELIEVE IN ANCESTORS IN THE FIRST PLACE BLUH). The ancestors are also intended to serve as role models for adolescent trolls. Ancestors are supposed to be historical figures!
Yes. Alternia has history. Hurray.
AND HERE COMES THE BIT WHERE I EXPLAIN WHY ADULT TROLLS ARE MOSTLY NOT ALLOWED TO LIVE ON ALTERNIA. It has to do with the ancestors, yes. More precisely, Tavros's ancestor.
Tavros's ancestor, THE SUMMONER, was a commander of an army of beasts and a member of the Cavalreapers who by skill and bravery became their leader, then won their undying loyalty by growing and/or revealing wings! We're not sure. His evolution inspired his troops to follow him in a revolution against the Highbloods, eventually resulting in the banishment of all adult trolls to space!
The joke here is that Tavros is obsessed with Peter Pan, okay. There. I ruined it for you.
Randomly! You guys know how trolls pupate? And I keep saying that they are insects? This means that they can evolve wings, just like I mentioned The Summoner did.
IN THEORY. In practice, this is both very rare and probably impossible. Basically, it means that a lot of myths for trolls involve SUPER POWERED WINGED TROLLS UWAAAH.
Yes, even though the highest leveled troll are sea dwellers. :T BLUH BLUH LOGIC.
I mentioned the thing with buckets in the previous guides, okay. Relationships are very important in troll culture, as is the hemospectrum, and those also have their own guides!!
I AM NOT EVEN LINKING THEM, JUST CLICK THE GUIDE TAG. ♠!!!!
Finally let's go over some troll games! Firstly because a lot of the main trolls are into them, and secondly to illustrate how violent and crazy this species is. BECAUSE YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF.
First, we'll talk about FLARP. FLARP is a game under the category of EXTREME ROLE PLAYING. It is EXTREEEEEME. As most of you may know, on Earth, LARP stands for Live Action Role Playing. Fans presume FLARP means Fatal Live Action Role Playing. That is pretty much all you need to know about the kind of game this is.
Vriska and Eridan are probably the two trolls who have killed the most using FLARP, their numbers easily climbing the thousands. This is a game played for fun. Terezi also has a high death count number, though she mostly went after bad people. Basically the point is EXTREME MEANS EXTREME.
Another game trolls play is FIDUSPAWN a messed up card game that can only be called the bastard child of Pokemon and the Alien franchise. The actual goal of the game seems to be to make your monsters breed to create more eggs who can then rape more plushies or whatever. TROLL GAMES. HOW DO THEY WORK.
THIS FINAL PART WILL FOREVER BE UPDATED AS I REMEMBER SHIT I FORGOT TO ELABORATE ON.
TROLL FASHION isn't a thing. At all. Trolls are not into clothes and prettifying themselves usually! Unless they are Kanaya. Or maybe Eridan. BASICALLY. FASHION IS NOT A BIG DEAL. AT ALL. This is the canon explanation for why trolls wear the same shit all the time.
ART is however a troll thing! There is not much to say about it except that troll paint is made from the blood of culled wrigglers.
BEST. SOCIETY. EVER.
In conclusion, trolls sure are weird.
OH MY GOD NONE OF THIS EVEN MAKES SENSE WHY DID I DO THIS?????
I am doing all of the guides. All of them.
Also I am pretty sure in this case the "quick" will be misleading.
First off: troll basics!! Trolls are the dominating species of a planet called ALTERNIA. They are nocturnal and violent creatures that seem mostly based on insects, though they have a fair resemblance to humans. Trolls have grey skin, black lips, fangs, candycorn (minus the white) colored horns in a variety of shapes, yellow nails, black hair and orange eyes with grey iris that later on in life turn the color of their blood.
As there is no snow on Alternia, trolls might or might not be cold-blooded. Who knows. But mostly they are made to live in hotter weather. This is partly because Alternia's sun is very old and very huge and very red and thus VERY BLISTERING.
They do not bury their dead.
In previous guides, I've loosely mentioned that there are both seadweller and land dweller trolls. The difference is this: sea dwellers have gills. Land dwellers do not.
Also they hate each other bluh bluh rivalry and troll racism bluh. And seadwellers are higher on the blood caste. Yay.
Trolls are CONQUERORS OF THE GALAXY. They have conquered many planets and rule over them like dictators. Yay.
Trolls live in a caste system under the rule of an Empress. The Empress is titled HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION, and the current one may actually still be alive! (This is surprising because of Sburb, which I will make a guide about later. I will mention this often probably.) Basically yay medieval aliens that conquer the galaxy(ies?).
Let us now explore a typical troll's childhood. As I mentioned in my guide on troll reproduction, trolls are born of the mother grub. Symbiosis with nature all over this place, bitches. The MOTHER GRUB lives deep underground, in the BROODING CAVERNS. She lays hundreds of thousands of eggs at once. When those eggs hatch, trolls look like ... well. They look like adorable little larvae.
Larval trolls are called wrigglers. When they are ready, wrigglers will locate and attach themselves to a super cozy stalagmite (lolno) where they will spin their cocoons. TROLLS. ARE. BUTTERFLIES. Once a troll pupates and now looks like the trolls we know and fear love, they will use their newly formed limbs and undergo a series of trials in what I like to call but isn't actually called the caves of despair. If the troll succeeds (read: lives through) these trials, they will then be chosen by a member of the diverse and terrifying subterranean monster population native to Alternia, beasts known as a LUSUS NATURAE.
Adult trolls and young trolls get along about as well as fire and oil, which is to say DEATH AND MAYHEM will happen. Which is why a lusus acts as a lifelong bodyguard and caretaker (as well as a monster can be a caretaker really) and a ... weird sort of mentor to its troll. Meanwhile, the troll gets to be a zookeeper. Together, they fight crime will surface and choose a location to build a HIVE.
Troll culture encourages their young to learn architecture and build stuff! This is related to SBURB, which I will get into in a later guide.
The building process is aided by carpenter droids, left on the planet for the young to lovingly abuse. By which I mean they are left there to cater the young. Of course. I've mentioned this in my guide to the hemospectrum, but the higher up on it a troll is, the bigger a troll's hive is allowed to be. Trolls don't necessarily cater to this, though-- while Vriska and Equius very much amused themselves with HUGE EMPTY HIVES, Gamzee's is pretty standard, even if living next to the ocean is pretty rare for land-dwelling trolls. The ocean is dangerous, bluh bluh.
Trolls can live in cities or even communal hives-- Karkat has neighbors, Vriska and Equius live in a city mostly consisting of high bloods by the size of the houses, and Sollux lives in what can only be the troll equivalent of apartments. They can basically live anywhere they want, surrounded by people or not, etc.
Since a large majority of adults don't live on Alternia itself for reasons I will get into later, it's up to young trolls to maintain the culture and civilization of the planet. This means trolls are tested throughout their lives to prove their strength to ensure the race remains at its peak. This does mean children will be arbitrarily CULLED for little to no reason! :D TROLL LIFE IS SO MUCH FUN.
MOVING ON FROM TROLL CHILDHOOD. And mostly from troll neighborhoods what is wrong with me and my obsession.
Trolls are by nature a very violent species. In order to quell their terrible visions of BLOOD and CARNAGE, trolls sleep in a RECUPERACOON full of SOPOR SLIME. Sopor slime is a slime that is helpful for sleeping but should not be eaten. Ever.
For an example of what sopor slime does to your brain, see Gamzee. But basically: IT ROTS YOU FROM THE INSIDE, BROTHER. :o)
While the kids and trolls communicate using pesterchum/trollian, Alternia indeed has a language and alphabet of its own! The alphabet is called the DAEDRIC ALPHABET and looks like this. There are no daedric numbers, however, and an old journal from Vriska's ancestor (which I will get into shortly) has spaces where the eights should be.
What that means for troll written language and their V3RY SP3C14L WA4 OF SP34K1NG SOM3T1M3S? Fuck if I know. Since this is mostly a text based media, there is no canon for how troll language "sounds". Bluh bluh.
Moving on to the troll calendar!
A year for trolls is called a SOLAR SWEEP. It is the equivalent of 2.16(infinity) Earth years. Aka 26 months.
Alternia has two moons. A PERIGEE is the moment one of these moons is closest to it. All perigees mentioned in the comic have been bilunar, which probably means both moons have the same orbit. There are at least 24 perigees in one solar sweep, based on the fact that Karkat's wriggling day (which I will get to shortly) falls on the 12th bilunar perigee of the 6th dark season's equinox and there should be two equinoxes per solar sweep.
And now for troll SEASONS. So far, only two seasons have been mentioned: the DARK SEASON, of which there are at least six during a solar sweep. A dark season means that it remains dusk for most of the day. There are also DIM SEASONS, of which there are at least two during a sweep. I have no idea what they consist of. MAYBE IT IS NEAR DAWN FOR MOST OF THE DAY. Ha ha ha ha.
Moving on. I've mentioned EQUINOXES. We assume there are two per solar sweep! Perigees can be counted between equinoxes as well as during solar sweeps. THIS MEANS NOTHING. NOTHING.
When speaking to the kids, trolls use the term month, though it's likely they have no idea what it means. That happens a lot. Trolls use the terms day/week pretty freely, but fuck knows if those are actually terms for any reason. Bluh bluh. Days are however never numbered, not even when related to a perigee. There's a 50/50 percent chance trolls measure time in hours-- they do so in the game, but that might just be a feature of the game in general. :T Screw you Hussie.
Since we're on to the calendar: TROLL HOLIDAYS. I've mentioned Karkat's WRIGGLING DAY. As you may have guessed, this is the troll equivalent to a birthday. Except trolls think their wriggling day are an excuse to lament on their insufficiencies fuck you firefox that is so a word instead of an excuse to celebrate. Trolls why so boring.
12TH PERIGEE'S EVE is the only other troll holiday we know of. It seems to be the troll equivalent to Christmas with some element of New Year's Eve thrown in. We assume this perigee is counted by the solar sweep instead of equinox, since there is only one of it per year. Bluh bluh math is hard. The trolls either decorate their hives or stay inside, and their lusus goes to collect a ... behemoth leaving. I. No, I'm serious, that is exactly what they say. THEIR CHRISTMAS TREE IS. EITHER POOP OR A CORPSE. I DON'T KNOW. LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
HEY ZIA ARE YOU GOING TO TALK ABOUT TROLLIAN INSTEAD?? No.
No I am not.
... Ugh fine. Trollian is a chat program that solely the trolls use, and I am so mad at myself that my intro had "pestering" instead of "trolling" because I wasn't paying attention. It is a fairly new program, and in no way related to actual troll culture. :| BLUH BLUH.
Let us now move on and talk about troll movies. Or well entertainment in general. But mostly movies, because Karkat loves movies.
Troll movies have been around for MILLENNIUMS, meaning that they have run out of succinct titles. So their movie titles pretty much describe the entire movie. Let's quote Karkat to give (part of) an example: CG: WHEREIN NUMEROUS VIGILANTES CONFRONT PERIL; ONE OF THEM BETRAYS THE OTHERS; (BUT IT TURNS OUT TO BE PART OF THE PLAN ALL ALONG);
CG: SEVERAL ATTRACTIVE FEMALE LEADS PROVOKE ROMANTIC TENSION; FOUR MAJOR CHARACTERS WEAR UNUSUAL HATS; ONE HOLDS PLOT-CRITICAL SECRET;
CG: 47 ON-SCREEN EXPLOSIONS, ONE RESULTING IN DEMISE OF KEY-ADVERSARY; 6 to 20 LINES THAT COULD BE CONSTRUED AS HUMOROUS;" and then it supposedly goes on but Karkat stops wanting to say it.
Usually they do not mention the title outloud. They just go to the theater. Comparatively, TV is a much more recent medium, meaning that they can have titles such as THE TRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR. That's good, because otherwise making that joke would be so hard you guys. So hard.
Troll Indiana Jones also exists. :|
Enough of bad jokes, back to more serious crap: the troll justice system.
In troll court, you are guilty until proved innocent. Usually, being proved innocent happens post-culling. That's right! EVEN MORE WAYS TO DIE ARBITRARILY. Legislators propose evidence in front of HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY.
He has seemingly been alive for centuries. His form is extremely large and well-armored like a crustacean. He has six horns which appear in three rows, the first being a crab's claws, the second being sickles, and the last as normal troll horns (albeit extremely large). He strongly resembles an Imperial Drone. Unlike any other character in Homestuck, His Honorable Tyranny has black blood.
IS HE A TROLL? IS HE A DRONE? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHO CARES. The important part is that the troll justice system is just as skewed towards making no sense as everything else in troll culture.
Moving on from horror. Trolls have a number of potential jobs they can do FOR THE EMPIRE once they enter adulthood. Most of them have to do with MINDLESS KILLING. You are so shocked right now I bet. So shocked.
Let's use the examples the trolls in-game have used! For one, Karkat wants to be a threshecutioner. They are the most lethal members of Troll society. They use sickles. They are executioners! We've mentioned legislators! Basically the worst lawyers ever. There are also subjugglators which are ... more a cult than anything. Bluh. And cavalreapers. They are a cavalry. That use lance. And kill people. Basically, most of the future troll jobs are about participating in either the mindless culling or being part of the elite fighting troops out in the world conquering worlds and JUST KILLING. SO MUCH KILLING.
You can also be a pirate.
this is stupid why did I even bother mentioning this
MOVING. ON.
ANCESTORS are a concept in troll society. While trolls do not have parents, it is believed by most trolls that they have "ancestors". An ancestor is a troll who lived centuries ago and is a close genetic match to the younger troll. I have said the word troll in this guide so many times I am about to kill myself. I mean, uh. Where was I.
Young trolls believe that they are supposed to find clues about their ancestors (IF THEY BELIEVE IN ANCESTORS IN THE FIRST PLACE BLUH). The ancestors are also intended to serve as role models for adolescent trolls. Ancestors are supposed to be historical figures!
Yes. Alternia has history. Hurray.
AND HERE COMES THE BIT WHERE I EXPLAIN WHY ADULT TROLLS ARE MOSTLY NOT ALLOWED TO LIVE ON ALTERNIA. It has to do with the ancestors, yes. More precisely, Tavros's ancestor.
Tavros's ancestor, THE SUMMONER, was a commander of an army of beasts and a member of the Cavalreapers who by skill and bravery became their leader, then won their undying loyalty by growing and/or revealing wings! We're not sure. His evolution inspired his troops to follow him in a revolution against the Highbloods, eventually resulting in the banishment of all adult trolls to space!
The joke here is that Tavros is obsessed with Peter Pan, okay. There. I ruined it for you.
Randomly! You guys know how trolls pupate? And I keep saying that they are insects? This means that they can evolve wings, just like I mentioned The Summoner did.
IN THEORY. In practice, this is both very rare and probably impossible. Basically, it means that a lot of myths for trolls involve SUPER POWERED WINGED TROLLS UWAAAH.
Yes, even though the highest leveled troll are sea dwellers. :T BLUH BLUH LOGIC.
I mentioned the thing with buckets in the previous guides, okay. Relationships are very important in troll culture, as is the hemospectrum, and those also have their own guides!!
I AM NOT EVEN LINKING THEM, JUST CLICK THE GUIDE TAG. ♠!!!!
Finally let's go over some troll games! Firstly because a lot of the main trolls are into them, and secondly to illustrate how violent and crazy this species is. BECAUSE YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF.
First, we'll talk about FLARP. FLARP is a game under the category of EXTREME ROLE PLAYING. It is EXTREEEEEME. As most of you may know, on Earth, LARP stands for Live Action Role Playing. Fans presume FLARP means Fatal Live Action Role Playing. That is pretty much all you need to know about the kind of game this is.
Vriska and Eridan are probably the two trolls who have killed the most using FLARP, their numbers easily climbing the thousands. This is a game played for fun. Terezi also has a high death count number, though she mostly went after bad people. Basically the point is EXTREME MEANS EXTREME.
Another game trolls play is FIDUSPAWN a messed up card game that can only be called the bastard child of Pokemon and the Alien franchise. The actual goal of the game seems to be to make your monsters breed to create more eggs who can then rape more plushies or whatever. TROLL GAMES. HOW DO THEY WORK.
THIS FINAL PART WILL FOREVER BE UPDATED AS I REMEMBER SHIT I FORGOT TO ELABORATE ON.
TROLL FASHION isn't a thing. At all. Trolls are not into clothes and prettifying themselves usually! Unless they are Kanaya. Or maybe Eridan. BASICALLY. FASHION IS NOT A BIG DEAL. AT ALL. This is the canon explanation for why trolls wear the same shit all the time.
ART is however a troll thing! There is not much to say about it except that troll paint is made from the blood of culled wrigglers.
BEST. SOCIETY. EVER.
In conclusion, trolls sure are weird.
OH MY GOD NONE OF THIS EVEN MAKES SENSE WHY DID I DO THIS?????