Angel in Blue - Part 4

[nicslash]

Angel in Blue 4/6

Part Four
Jensen leaves Jared in his bed the next morning. He hasn’t slept that well in a really long time. He has a feeling that maybe Jared hasn’t either, given by the way he didn’t stir a muscle when Jensen was getting ready for work. He left a note for Jared to lock the door behind him and it’s strange to leave him in his home, the only place where Jensen is truly comfortable. Not that’s there’s much Jared can do or steal if he really wanted to, but it’s nice to trust someone again, especially enough to sleep with him.

There’s still something that isn’t quite right though and it’s only because Jensen knows himself so well. He has to get to the bottom of it, or at least get some more clues that add up. He likes Jared for how he is, but not who he is because there’s still a mystery there. Being in the dark is not something that Jensen is good at. He tried last night; felt completely safe as he let Jared in his bed and this morning he had no problem leaving him there.

And he really doubts that Jared would screw him over… and if he does? Well then shame on Jensen for his complete lack of being able to read someone, something that’s supposed to be an interact part of his profession. But then there’s an itch that he wants to scratch, this massive stupid curiosity that just won’t quit even after a night together. And being nosy is a part of being an officer too, getting all the facts to build something credible.

That’s why he finds himself at Jared’s apartment again, except this time he goes to the building office. After talking with the apartment manager, Jensen doesn’t have any more leads. Jared had put down Smith as his last name again and had paid in cash for his place just a few weeks ago. No new or useful information.

Jensen glances at his watch. He has to be at the station in fifteen minutes, which gives him enough time to go up Jared’s floor and talk to the neighbors. Just as he’s about to knock though, he stops himself. If anyone were to tell Jared that a police officer was here and was questioning the people he lived by, well… Jensen’s sure that wouldn’t go over well with Jared and he might lose him all together, before he’s really ready.

“Can I help you?”

A young woman struggling with a stroller has made her way out of the apartment next to Jared’s and Jensen realizes he’s been staring at the door like an idiot.

“No, I was just leaving.” He says, then remembers his manners and helps with the stroller, straightening out the wheels.

“Thank you!” She smiles warmly and starts to strap in her wiggling baby. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”

Jensen hesitates at her curious expression towards his uniform and doesn’t know what to say.

“I hope there’s no trouble in the building. It’s always been very quiet.” She says and Jensen quickly reassures her by shaking his head.

“No ma’am. Just visiting a friend, but he’s not home.”

“Oh, Jared? He must be out walking again.”

“Walking?”

She nods and begins to dig through the diaper bag for something, distracted as she goes on. “He walks around the city a lot. I’ve seen him everywhere but he always looks like he doesn’t want company. Lost in his own world. He really keeps to himself, I don’t know much about him. No family ever comes around and you’re the first friend I’ve seen. I just know that he’s a very nice.”

“And how would you know that?”

She smiles as she finds her key and locks the door behind her. “A few days ago he found my keys I had left in the doorknob. I had my hands full with the baby n’all and must’ve forgotten them in the lock. He knocked on my door and let me know.”

“A lot of people would’ve done the same, miss.” Jensen points out nicely.

“Yes, but then he came in and fixed my burst pipe under the sink when he saw what a mess the kitchen was. Not a lot of people would do that. He just went back to his place, got some tools, and went to work without me even asking. He didn’t have much to say but he sure was nice. I don’t know what I would’ve done. And the view was fantastic, I must say.” She giggles and then waves goodbye before bustling down the hallway.

Jensen imagines Jared’s long body lying on the tiled kitchen floor, his shirt riding up to expose a brown worn leather belt and narrow hips. He’s almost jealous his kitchen pipe hasn’t burst. He waves halfheartedly to the woman as she leaves and then stands there for a few more minutes until he realizes he’s going to be late for work if he doesn’t leave now.

A few hours later Jensen’s trying to get some paperwork done, but he might as well be twiddling his thumbs. Morgan dropped by and said that he lifted a perfect print, but nothing came up in the database. Honestly, Jensen’s not surprised. He knew that Jared wasn’t a criminal and doesn’t understand why he made such an effort to confirm something he already knew. But then again, if Jared’s name had popped up and he had committed some kind of crime, Jensen would have probably justified that as well.

His desk is covered with work and usually by mid afternoon he’s done with his reports, all stacked neatly into a nice pile. Now that Jensen is somewhat satisfied with his findings about Jared, his thoughts start to drift to Josh, knowing that he is home from his trip now. Jensen needs to see Rachel for himself and make sure she’s okay. He’s just made the decision to drive over to their house again when a call comes in.

“Hey,” Perez stops at his desk and Rodriguez is with him, a concerned frown on her face. “We got another domestic dispute from dispatch. Same address. You wanna join us this time? Torres and Jenkins are already on their way.”

Jensen’s hands clench into fists and he nods. Lucy is getting coffee in the break room and quickly leaves it. She gets behind the wheel, Jensen seeing too much red to be able to drive. He doesn’t even remember the ride and he definitely hasn’t been this pissed off in a long time.

The front door is open and there are low voices inside the house. Jensen can makes out Rachel’s above everyone else. He hurries to her, anxious at what he’ll find, glad that Josh Jr. doesn’t seem to be around, most likely still at school. The place isn’t messy at all, not one thing out of place. Jensen hates to think of what happens if Rachel doesn’t clean constantly, the consequences that she’d probably have to face.

“Jesus Christ.” Jensen spits out when he sees how badly her face is bruised. She’s sitting on the bed in the master bedroom, and now this room is messy, overturned side table and smashed lamp. Torres is with her, writing something on a report clipboard. He doesn’t say anything about where Jenkins is but Jensen can imagine he’s wherever Josh happens to be.

They stare at each other until Rachel’s eyes start to fill with water.

“Jensen, please don’t make it worse.”

Jensen was wrong, he actually can get angrier. He hadn’t thought it was possible. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. Does it get worse than this, Rach?”

“It’s fine now. He’s upset at himself about it. Just don’t make him mad.”

Jensen moves to kneel on the floor, his utility belt clanging on his legs as he drops. He reaches to cup her chin lightly and Rachel turns her bruised face away, ashamed.

“When Josh and I were kids our mom would say that all the time. Tell us not to make dad mad. Has he hit Josh Jr. yet?”

“He would never do that!”

“Oh, just you then, huh? Jensen gets to his feet and he has the ugly urge to make Josh mad. He can’t wait for it.

“Jensen, stop!” Rachel calls out for him, but Jensen is already crossing through the kitchen to the backdoor. The garage is open and Josh is leaning against the SUV that is parked inside, arms crossed over his chest and a shitty smirk on his face.

“Oh great.” Josh says when he sees Jensen. He glances to the other officers around him, Jenkins and Perez, probably thinking that he’s safe with these cops around. Jensen hopes Lucy and Rodriquez are inside trying to talk sense into Rachel.

“What the ever living fuck, Josh?” Jensen yells. “You wanna hit someone, how about you find someone your own size, huh? How about you find someone who can fight back, right Josh? How about you try, just try to find me and I’ll let you punch the shit outta my face before you hurt her again!” Jensen rages and tries to get his hands on his brother. Perez pushes him back though, keeping him at an arm’s distance.

“Calm down, Jensen. I have neighbors.”

Bewilderment makes Jensen lunge again and Perez tells him to back off.

“Look, I lost my temper, okay?” Josh says, stepping closer. “Things got out of hand.”

“Yeah? You see a pattern here, bro? People always say they’ve got a fucking temper. It’s an excuse and you know it.”

Josh rolls his eyes. “I don’t need a god damn lecture from you.”

“No, maybe dad can give you a better one.”

“He has nothing to do with it. Don’t blame him.”

“Oh I’m not,” Jensen’s voice is deathly calm. “Trust me. I’m blaming you, you fucking coward.”

“You’re an asshole, Jensen.”

Jensen takes another step towards him, rigid with fury. This time Perez doesn’t stop him. “Says the man who uses his wife as a punching bag.” His fist lands hard on Josh’s nose. He probably broke it. There’s blood all down the front of his shirt and dripping on the driveway. Good.

Josh catches the blood with his collar and looks at Perez and Jenkins. “Did you see that? I just got assaulted by an officer! I’m reporting that!”

Perez puts his hands on his hips and gives Josh a pointed stare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.”

“He hit me! The bastard broke my fucking nose!”

Jenkins shakes his head. “Sir, you tripped and fell. We’ll put that in the report for you.”

Jensen can hear them arguing and Jenkins telling Josh to get some counseling as he goes back into the house and makes his way to the patrol car. He knows there’s no point in trying to reason with Rachel, to tell her that she and Josh Jr. can come and stay with him. He knows that from past experience because even though this hasn’t happened in a long time, it’s definitely not the first.



Jensen already called Jared on his way home. He didn't say anything and hung up after the second ring. He leaves the door open, hoping that Jared will be here any second. Thankfully there’s an ice pack in the freezer and Jensen wraps it in a dishtowel before he presses his hand into it, stinging from punch he gave his brother’s nose.

He slides down the kitchen wall, still in full uniform, and sits on the floor. He’s just staring when Jared walks in and must look like a hot mess, too deep in his thoughts to say anything. So this is what rock bottom feels like, abandonment engulfing him in such darkness that there’s not much room for any hope.

Jared sits down on the floor too. He takes Jensen’s bruised hand in his and holds the ice pack there for him. Sitting on the edge is not somewhere Jensen wants to be. He’s very close to jumping off, anger still right under the surface, and he finally slumps his body on Jared’s beside him.

“Are you ok--”

“Just shut up.” Jensen cuts him off, doesn’t feel badly about it. “And listen.”

“But I didn’t even say--.”

“I don’t want to talk about anything. I don’t care anymore, okay? What games you might be playing--”

“But I’m not play--”

“I don’t want to hear it. All right?” Jensen gets up from off the floor and stumbles into the living room. He stops when he reaches his desk and leans there. “I don’t want to hear anything.” Jared follows, steps into Jensen’s space and he lets him in. “It’s been a really bad day.”

Jared nods in understanding, sees the pain, but keeps his mouth shut. He puts his arms around Jensen’s waist and pulls him in until he lays his head on Jared’s broad shoulder. He feels the tension seep out of his body and lets Jared hold his weight up, embraces him fully and this is what he needed, the medicine to cure him. Big hands follow his spine up and down, over his bulletproof vest he has strapped around his chest.

“Thank you.” Jensen murmurs. “This is nice. But I’m too tired to stand anymore. And I’m sure you don’t wanna hang around just to watch me try to sleep.”

Jared shakes his head. “That’s where you’re wrong.” He whispers. “I want to be here. I want to take care of you.”

“Don’t need anyone to take care of me.” Jensen grumbles. He lets Jared though, even gets a smile for trying to argue.

Jared presses dry lips to Jensen’s temple, keeping the kisses light. “I know you don’t. But just let me, okay?” He begins to disarm him, clipping off the handcuffs from the back of Jensen’s belt, snapping off the mace and laying them both on the desk. Next comes the gun at his side and Jared handles it very carefully, pulling the gun from the holster and gently putting it down. He slides down the length of Jensen, stops to move up his pant leg and takes the ankle holster off too. The radio clipped on his shoulder is next, followed by his uniform shirt. The bullet proof vest is thick and Jared traces his fingers along the top and bottom of it, feeling the warmth of Jensen’s skin against the material that’s saved his life more than once.

When all of Jensen’s protective equipment is laid out on his desk, Jared takes the hand that isn’t bandaged and leads Jensen to the couch. He lies down and Jared is right next to him, eyes locked together and faces lingering close.

“You wanna kiss me?”

Jared seems a little lost, but he nods helplessly. He reaches towards Jensen’s lips and just before they touch, Jensen says softly, “Kiss me someplace I’ve never been kissed before.”

Jared hesitates, not knowing what to do. He starts to look Jensen over, as if he were hunting for the perfect unkissed place and a soft smile spreads across his mouth. He slowly starts towards Jensen’s ear and Jensen just shakes his head. Jared lets himself look and heads down to Jensen’s bare stomach, noses around his bellybutton and sneaks to check and see if he’s right. Jensen shakes his head again. Jared lets out a low growl, on the hunt once more and it makes Jensen smile, the upwards twitch of his lips feeling nice, especially after a rough day.

Jared takes Jensen’s hand and turns it so the soft flesh of his underarm is up. He nips at the inside of his elbow, presses his lips to Jensen’s bicep just a few inches from his armpit and breathes in deeply at the scent. Jensen sighs with pleasure, closes his eyes and lets out a breathy moan when Jared gets it right, his mouth traveling to the low hallow of his neck and back down the underside of his arm all the way to his wrist. The kisses are lavish and wet, overwhelmingly sensual and Jensen can feel his cock harden in his pants. He brings his knees up, wanting to spread his legs, to take Jared’s mouth against his right now.

It’s in the same moment that Jared stops and pulls away. He looks at Jensen, eyes soft and gaze deep.

Jensen’s voice is quiet. “Why did you stop? You always stop.”

“Slow, remember?”

Jensen lets out a low whine. It’s been slow enough. Jared puts his arms around Jensen’s drawn up knees, rests his head there and closes his eyes for a moment. There’s still a glimpse of something unknown there, a sadness that Jensen wishes he knew about.

Jared sits back on the couch and Jensen goes for him, settles in at his side and burrows his head on Jared’s shoulder again. Jared runs his fingers in Jensen’s short hair, strokes at his scalp and massages the base of his neck. They tumble towards sleep and end up on the couch; limbs tangled and pressed together snuggly, small kisses pressed on each other’s skin in the middle of the night, soft enough not to wake the other, just wanting to be close, loneliness far away.

It’s just after dawn when Jared jerks awake and Jensen almost slips off of him.

“Nightmare?” Jensen’s voice is rough and he yawns. It’s too early to be up and he’s glad he has the day off from work.

“Something like that.” Jared swings his legs and sits up on the couch, looking just as rumpled as Jensen feels.

“Are you okay?” Jensen feels worried for him, wants nothing more than Jared to be strong and healthy.

“Yes.” Jared smiles, pulling Jensen towards him as they both lay back on the couch again. “It’s a new day. And I should be asking you that.”

“I feel better.” Jensen replies truthfully. “I’d feel even better if I knew I could spend the day with you.”

“Don’t have to go in today?” Jensen shakes his head against Jared’s chest.

“What’re we gonna do?”

“This. All day.” Jensen stretches like a cat, arches his back. “Maybe more. If you let me.”

“Let you?” Jared scoffs. “I’ll always let you.”

“Yeah?” Jensen starts a slow path of kisses behind Jared’s ear and pauses to nibble on the lobe. “Then prove it.”

Jared groans, clearly turned on. “How?”

“Wanna blow you.” Jensen whispers, hands working down Jared’s body and finding him hard. It’s easy to go from there, slick lips and wet kisses, sharp bites around the knobs of Jared’s stomach muscles as he continues his venture down. Jensen sucks Jared’s dick in between his lips in one fluid motion, skilled and practiced that he does it with ease and now Jared is the one arching off the couch, soft sounds spilling from his mouth as he starts to thrust his hips.

He tastes perfect and Jensen swallows the length down his throat, works it along his teasing tongue and it’s not long until Jared explodes in his mouth, looking at Jensen like he's amazing. Jensen laps it up and places gentle kisses on the head as Jared comes down from his orgasm. He can’t seem to stop worshiping Jared’s cock, licks down his balls and swirls his tongue there before he hears Jared grunt and pull him up. He wraps his huge twisting hand around Jensen and he’s gone in a world of bliss, come dripping down Jared’s knuckles as it doesn’t take long for him either.

“Yeah.” Jared chuckles. “We could do this all day.” And so they do. They kiss, they make out until their lips are sore and used, flushed and plump from the constant pressure of each other’s mouth working in unison.

Jensen only catches Jared zoning out once, can’t even remember what they had been talking about, maybe something about music and as they start to kiss again Jensen is finding that his tongue is doing all the work while Jared’s isn’t swirling around in the usual urgency. Jensen pulls back and Jared’s eyes are almost vacant, like he’s not present and off in another world. Jensen gently shakes his shoulders and reminds Jared that he’s safe, not somewhere he doesn’t need to be anymore. Jared recovers quickly and goes in for another deep and urgent kiss, like he doesn’t want to get lost again.

After that, they talk about nothing at all, tease each other and poke fun, nothing too serious as Jensen can’t handle anymore right now. Conversation is kept light and on easy topics, and sometimes they don’t talk at all throughout the day, just hold each other or fall on the couch for an afternoon nap. In the evening, Jensen flicks the TV on and turns the channel to a Star Wars marathon, the volume set on low.

There’s a light tension to Jared’s shoulders when he realizes what’s on, but then much to Jensen’s amusement, Jared starts to geek out about Skywalker and George Lucas, spouting off different facts about the movie, whispering in Jensen’s ear, “Did you know that Darth Vader was played by three different people?” Jensen just laughs and shakes his head. He lets Jared tell him random trivia until they both get hungry for dinner.

Jared presses his stupidly chiseled chest to Jensen’s back as he prepares a meal at the counter. They drink wine instead of beer and it seems almost romantic, something that Jensen wanted more than anything. He loves this bubble they’re in right now, just the two of them, together and in a safe place with no interruptions and no loud noises.

The only harsh sounds come from Jared as Jensen makes him come again that night, his fingers wrapped tightly around Jared’s hard shaft from behind, stroking in a rhythm that must be perfect because Jared spills far too soon. Jensen releases as well, all over the small of Jared’s muscled back and they fall asleep like that, with Jensen’s hand still cupping Jared’s now sticky soft cock, wanting to be close to every part of him for one more night.



The annual charity baseball game is one of Jensen’s favorite times of the year; there’s sunshine and hot dogs, fresh cut green grass and hot firemen in tight pants playing as the opposing team.

Everyone in his squad is on the field with all of their families sitting in the bleachers to cheer them on. Usually Jensen never has anyone in the bleachers to watch him play and today, at the very corner of the stands, there is Jared with a big smile on his face.

And Jensen feels all giddy when he can’t help but get a huge grin to match. He knows he’s flushed but he’ll just blame it on the heat if the guys make fun of him for it.

“Hey, ain’t that your knight’n shining armor over there, Ackles?” Perez asks as he, Jenkins and Torres approach. They all wave and Jared is beaming when he notices and waves back.

“Stop calling him that.” Jensen says, the blush probably obvious on his cheeks now. “And yes, that’s Jared.”

Torres nods and squints, like he’s trying to remember something. “He’s the one who turned in that wallet to me a few weeks ago. I knew I recognized him from somewhere.”

“He turned in a wallet?” Jensen’s not surprised. Jared seems like an honest man.

“Yeah, with a ton of cash in it and when the guy offered him a reward, he refused to take it.” Torres answers. “And Rodriguez was tellin’ me she saw him downtown the other day just sitting on a bench staring for hours. She thought he was a little slow, but when she saw him at the station turning in the wallet…” He shrugs. “I guess she was wrong.”

Jenkins takes a bat and starts to swing for practice. “I’ve seen him on my beat too, just wandering around, like he doesn’t even know where he is. Looks miserable most of the time but he ain’t hurtin’ anybody so I always leave him be.” He stops to stretch before starting to swing again. “I had to shoo him away from the parking meters once too, kept putting in quarters for people’s time running out.”

They all look at Jensen for an explanation and usually he’s pretty quick witted; can think of a comeback at the drop of a hat. And now, he’s totally speechless. “Um…”

“You know anything about him?” Perez asks, not intrusively but Jensen still feels like he’s on trial here.

“Not really.”

They all give him a concerned look and Jensen peers past all of their shoulders to look at Jared, who is sitting there quietly, not interacting with anyone and just kind of staring off into space. He’s zoning out again and Jensen wonders what he’s thinking about all the time. Why he walks the streets and sits on benches, drifting day after day. Jensen finds it more startling that he just doesn’t care anymore and whatever surprise Jared might have in store for him, well… he’ll just have to deal with it when it comes. For now, he’s very much fine without anything destroying his and Jared’s perfect little place of solitude.

Lucy walks up and starts griping right away. “You all gonna cluck around here like a bunch of hens or are we gonna play some ball!”

Jensen smiles at her, grateful for her timing and runs over to the dugout to get his mitt. He wonders if Jared will stay like that the whole game, not really knowing what’s going on. When he’s up to bat, Jensen checks and sure enough, Jared’s full attention is on him, cheering and whistling the loudest in the crowd.

He hits a homerun.

After Jensen rounds third base and runs home, the guys all give him a high five. He jogs over to Jared, who jumps down from his seat and wraps Jensen in his arms, hugging him and laughing as they dunk back towards the fence where no one can see them.

“That was awesome! I can’t believe you hit it that far!” Jared bursts with energy, his voice proud. He pulls Jensen in for a quick kiss, going back for another kiss and then another, not wanting to let him go.

“Must be the cheer section I’ve got going on.” Jensen grins, his hands going to the back of Jared’s neck to pull him down for another few breathless kisses.

Jared groans deeply into Jensen’s mouth and he’s making all these sweet sounds like he can’t get enough. His hands fall to Jensen’s backside, squeezing and pinching at his ass, the flesh rounded in those big palms. “You look amazing in these pants, by the way.”

“Oh yeah?” Jensen can’t argue, the material is tight across his skin. “Am I indecently exposing myself?”

Jared nods, his lips softly dragging across Jensen’s mouth. “Uh huh. Gonna get yourself arrested.”

It’s getting too hot and Jensen has to step away, but he keeps hold of Jared’s hand as they walk back to the game. “Hey listen, you don’t have to stay until the end. These things can get dragged out pretty long.” Jensen tells him. “Usually all the spouses leave early with the kids so feel free to take off whenever you want. We have to stay and help clean up.”

Jared tugs on Jensen’s hand and smiles slowly. “So then I can help and clean up too.” He reaches out to rub some dirt off of Jensen’s chin, tilts it up after and plants a kiss on his lips.

“Yeah?” Jensen raises his eyebrows. None of the husbands or the wives ever stick around that long. And maybe if Jared stays a while longer, it’ll give him a chance to get to know the guys and Lucy a little more and maybe they won’t give him shit about Jared after he acts a little normal around them.

Normal would be great.



Another week goes by and Jensen finds himself pounding up the side of a mountain, practically running as Jared tries to keep up. The hiking trail is on the side of a ridge and Jensen is barely out of breath. He stops to study the view. It’s beautiful here, it helps to clear his head and lifts his spirits.

Jared is falling behind, breathing heavily. He calls out when they’re a few yards apart. “Hey! Wait up for a minute.”

Jensen waits patiently, ties his shoes and adjusts the pack on his back. “I thought you walked around the city all day.” He says when Jared catches up, flush in the face and sweat making his long hair stick to his forehead.

“The city is flat, okay?” Jared wheezes out. “Can we rest here? Look at the mountains? Have a candy bar? I’ve burned every calorie I’ve ever had. I need a little recharge.”

Jensen slips on his sunglasses and tries not to laugh. “My favorite spot for lunch is right up around the bend there.”

“Up?” Jared gasps out, shaking his head in a panic.

Jensen does let out a laugh now and starts on the trail again.

“I’m not really a competitive guy, you know?” Jared calls out. “You win this race, okay?”

“It’s not a race.” Jensen yells back, but he can hear Jared jogging to easily catch up to him, despite his dramatic complaining. “Slow poke.” He grins and Jared takes his hand as they hike to the lake together.

The water is gorgeous and Jensen sets out a thin blanket he always brings to sit on. It’s nice having Jared’s company here, someone to share this with. They didn’t pass a single person on the way up and it’s peaceful, quiet and perfect. He grabs a few of the sandwiches from his pack and hands one to Jared, who collapses on the blanket in a heaving sweaty mess.

He shakes his head though, as he takes off his jacket. “No thanks, I can’t eat and have a heart attack at the same time.”

Jensen laughs and takes a bite of his own sandwich, stares out and takes in the clear lake, the tall trees around the edge and the sounds of nature around him. Reality starts to creep in though, his brother and work, and suddenly he loses his appetite.

Jared seems to notice because he moves to sit by him and rests his chin on Jensen’s shoulder. “As soon as you smile, you get sad again.”

“I’m fine. Everything is code four.”

“What’s does that mean?”

“It means no further assistance needed.” Jensen sighs, puts his hand on Jared’s knee and offers him a bite of his sandwich.

“Bullshit,” Jared says. “You’re not fine. This isn’t fine. This is something else. You never told me how your day went yesterday. What happened?” “Yesterday?” Jensen raises his eyebrows. “You really want to know?”

“Of course I do.”

“I never get to hear about your yesterdays.”

“All my days are the same.” Jared says simply.

Jensen waits for something more, but of course, that’s all Jared has to say on the matter. So he does the next best thing and starts talking about his day, an incredible shit storm that he can call yesterday. Maybe this will teach Jared to ask him about how his days go in the future.

“Let’s see…” Jensen starts off flatly, no real emotion. “Yesterday Lucy and I rolled in on a 415. Perez and Jenkins had these three guys against a wall, it got pretty jumpy but we all managed to get them in the car with only a few bruises but Lucy sprained her wrist. So I got to do the rest of my shift with a rookie who lost it over a D.B. and usually I can handle myself, but it was an old lady, probably been dead about five or six days and the smell got to me. I can still smell her today. Anyway. Then we get called downtown and arrested a prostitute turning tricks in her house and I had to carry her little girl out to the social worker and she was so upset, wouldn’t stop crying and her tears soaked right through my shirt. So naturally I wanted to punch her mother, but I didn’t and then my shift ended and I went home where my brother left me a bitchy message about how his nose still hurts and how mom wasn’t happy with me.”

Jared is staring at him, controlling the horror he probably feels and not letting it show. He presses his mouth to Jensen’s temple and gives him a kiss there. “I’m sorry, Jen. That’d make anyone sad.”

“Sorry that you asked?”

“No.” Jared quickly says. “No, you can always tell me. Anything.”

Jensen gives a short nod and leans back on his elbows. “Well. I feel better now.”

“Good. Me too.” Jared lets himself fall back on the blanket too, holding himself up on his hands and staring for a few seconds at Jensen’s face.

“What’d you looking at?”

Jared smiles at Jensen’s not amused voice and lays a small kiss on his nose. “Just looking at how handsome my boyfriend is.”

“What handsome?” Jensen wrinkles his nose, as if he doesn’t know how good-looking he is. “And wait, boyfriend? When did this happen?”

“Are you disagreeing with me?” Jared gives him a look like Jensen is slow on the uptake and should already know this. Then he kisses him again, his tongue pushing right into Jensen’s mouth like it belongs there and all Jensen can do is shake his head, knowing he wouldn’t win if he were to argue with Jared because somehow, this man has him completely wrapped around his finger.

They stay like that for awhile, tangled together until Jared lets out a frustrated whine and moves to stand up. He pulls his t-shirt up over his head and drops it to the blanket, and then starts to strip off his cargo shorts and finally his tight black briefs, flinging them to Jensen’s chest.

Jensen thinks he’s about to get very lucky, but then Jared starts to back away. “Jared! What the hell are you doing?” He’s caught between yelling at him and laughing.

Jared doesn’t say anything and just makes a full run towards the lake and plunges in, bare ass on display and tight as ever, Jensen can’t help but notice. He comes up for air and shakes his wet hair like a dog.

“There’s no swimming here, Jay! And you can’t be naked in a state park!”

He dives under the water again and surfaces closer this time. “Take the day off, Ackles!”

“What if a park ranger comes!”

Jared is on his back now, floating and his skin is glistening from the sun. “Take your badge off for once. Not to mention all of your clothes. And you don’t have to be such a Marine about everything all the time, Jensen. Just…”

Jensen can hear him trailing off because Jared doesn’t know where Jensen went. He climbed up on some rocks and does a sleek swan dive down into the water. Naked. Jared yelps in surprise and then laughs, delighted that Jensen is joining him. They wrestle and play, dunking and splashing each other.

The water is cold but after some time, it warms Jensen’s blood and he swims closer to Jared, who wraps his arms around Jensen’s hips to hold him there. They float together and Jensen easily fits his legs around Jared’s waist, their dicks pressed heatedly together. Jared’s hands instantly go lower to grab at Jensen’s ass and it feels unbelievable.

Jensen leans in for a kiss, and at the last second Jared changes his mind and pulls back slightly.

“Someplace I’ve never been kissed before.”

It’s hard to concentrate when Jared’s fingers are slowly spreading him apart under the water, his hole starting to gape with the need to be filled. Jensen tries though and searches Jared’s face first, then his neck and shoulders. There’s a thin, pale scar on his otherwise golden tan skin that Jensen’s never noticed before. He tenderly kisses him there and Jared presses Jensen harder against him, mouth going slack and Jensen continues a path down the broken skin.

Now it’s Jensen who pulls back this time and gives a sheepish grin. He untangles himself and starts to swim back to shore.

“Where are you going?” Jared whines; wet strands of hair framing his face, eyes disbelieving that Jensen would leave him there in such an excited state. “I wasn’t done with you yet.” He tries to tug Jensen’s hand back but Jensen shakes his head. “God, is kissing in a state park forbidden too?”

“No, but fucking is.” Jensen says loudly. “And I think that’s what we’re about to do.” He laughs when Jared starts to run after him, water splashing everywhere and when he finally catches up he gives a playful pinch to the flesh of Jensen’s ass.

There’s lube and a condom in his backpack and Jensen motions for Jared to sit down on the blanket, which he does, dripping wet and naked, with his lower legs folded towards his body, crossing each other at the ankle and feet tucked under his thighs. He’s a perfect sculpture of a man and Jensen can’t wait to have him, to ride that pretty leaking cock and have a part of Jared deep inside him. He can already feel a phantom force nudging him open, knowing the strain will be intense, the ache stronger than Jensen can ever remember. He kneels so his knees are on either side of Jared’s hips and he presses the bottle of lube to his hand.

Jensen’s voice is raw, throat dry with nerves. “Stretch me? It’s been awhile.”

Jared can’t even say anything, just nods and takes it, skims his hands up and down Jensen’s thighs until the skin is warm. Fingertips find their way between Jensen’s legs and Jared gently cups around Jensen’s balls, fondling and teasing before sliding further back, determined and firmly pointed fingers pushing around the rim to open him up, spreading his hole but not dipping in yet. Jared takes his time and they kiss wide, tongues wet and Jensen moans hotly into Jared’s mouth as he continues play, rubbing at that spot over and over, as if he can’t get enough of touching Jensen here, that he’s allowed to after all this time.

Jensen bears down on Jared’s long fingers, trying to get them inside. He refocuses and goes back to kissing along the jagged thin scars around Jared’s neck. He can’t believe he’s never noticed them before. They’re thin though, a pale white and the healed skin only slightly raised. He questions Jared with his eyes and at the same time feels the burn of a finger finally slipping in.

“You gonna tell me how you got these?” Jensen asks lowly, afraid he’ll scare him away.

“I um…”

Jensen feels another finger enter in alongside the first and the strain is so good. “It’s okay, Jay. Still can’t talk to me, even two fingers deep?” It comes out gravely and Jensen knows that it’s passive aggressive, but god he’s totally gone on Jared, who is still a stranger to him. “It’s okay. Still want you, will always want you, no matter what.”

“Jensen…” Jared’s a little pissed, his eyes cinched in frustration. He figured it out; that Jensen’s trying to get something out of him when they’re both in a vulnerable position, but Jared’s also still turned on. Jensen distracts him with a hard kiss, full of twisting tongues and sharp, nipping teeth. Their lips are full and bitten pink and Jensen gasps as Jared’s fingers slide further in, not as slowly now and they begin to pump into him at a maddening pace, stretching him with two hands, one spreading his fleshy cheeks apart with other thrusting fingers until the tips push against his prostate.

“How long has it been? Huh?” Jensen gasps out as Jared hits that perfect spot, knuckles deep. “Since you’ve had someone like this? How long since you’ve made someone come, Jared?” They’re moving together so fluidly now, and Jared can only shake his head, grunts out something that sounds like, “Too long.”

When Jensen groans loudly, trying to push back even more, they both know it’s either now or it’ll be over too soon. Jared pulls his hand away, reaches for the condom and rolls it on quickly, looking over Jensen’s shoulder to line his dick up. Jensen sits back on his haunches, lets his knees do all the work as they lower his ass down on Jared’s thick straining cock. Their faces are too close not to be kissing and by the end of it, their mouths are sharing the heated breath mixed between them. Jensen’s riding Jared like a champ, slow and steady and Jared can hardly keep his eyes open to watch.

His hands scratch down Jensen’s back, down to his plump ass and fingers pry at where his dick is thrusting into his hole. He can’t seem to get enough, can’t believe he’s inside of Jensen and that thought alone makes Jensen come hard. His cock starts to convulse between them and his hole does the same around Jared’s cock, at the exact same pulse that come bursts onto his stomach.

“Oh god,” Jared pleads wildly suddenly finding his voice, little moans escaping between breaths. “You feel so good around me. Jensen. So fucking hot. So gorgeous. You have no idea.”

Jared finally opens his eyes wide when he comes, the expression on his face looking like pain but Jensen knows it’s from the pleasure, can feel sticky ropes of come fill the condom inside of him. As soon as Jared starts breathing normally again he kisses Jensen, pushing his tongue inside and licking all around his mouth until he throws his head back as Jensen bites along his neck, across the scars again and in the next second Jensen is flat on his back with Jared laying over him and kissing him deeply.

He pulls back, shifting to Jensen’s side and moves his hand to his own neck, feeling along the raised ridges, pink now because Jensen couldn’t keep his sucking mouth off of the scars. “I guess I was in an accident. A long time ago.”

“You guess?”

“I don’t remember.”

That would explain a lot and Jensen nods, appreciating that Jared tried. He thought Jared might be mad, that Jensen pushed a little while they were having sex for the first time. It doesn’t feel like a first time with Jared though, it just feels like the start of a long lasting time together. Something comfortable and solid, something that Jensen doesn’t have to fight for anymore.

Jensen’s chest is still heaving slightly as his legs fall open. Jared teases open mouthed kisses down his body, sucks his soft cock into his mouth and as Jensen’s knees are pushed up towards his chest, he can only imagine what his hole looks like, puffy and open from Jared’s dick. And when Jared’s tongue goes there, soft licks and kisses turn into sucking around the rim, Jensen struggles against another orgasm, his whole body rippling with waves of satisfaction after only a few minutes of Jared’s talented tongue spearing deep inside of him. And while Jared’s attention is solely on Jensen, he rubs one off on the blanket, pumping out a weak trickle of come under his stomach.

They lay quiet and sated together after, enjoying the sun and breeze until they hear people off in the distance. Scrambling, both throw on clothes and pack it up, knowing this spot at the lake is now a special place to visit often in their future.

Part 5