You have got to be kidding me 1/?
Title: You have got to be kidding me
Author: nicvick
Fandom: EXO
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (for possible future language)
Summary: Fill for this prompt on exopromptmeme. Sehun wakes up to find he's the oldest person in the Exo dorms.
“Go away.” Sehun mumbled to the person shoving his shoulder, his words muffled by his pillow. He wasn’t sure what time it was but even with his eyes closed he could tell it was still dark. They had two whole schedule free days ahead of them meaning still dark meant far too early.
Whoever it was disturbing his sleep just shoved harder and added an impatient ‘Wake up’.
“Leave me alone.” Sehun muttered. If the person shoved him one more time he was going to punch them in the face and damn the consequences. He needed sleep. And then it hit him. The voice didn’t belong to an exasperated Joonmyun or an impatient manager, it was a voice he didn’t recognise but that wasn’t the most worrying thing. The most worrying thing was that it sounded like it belonged to a child and that couldn't be right he thought forcing his eyes open and blinking up at the person trying to wake him. It took him a good twenty seconds to process what he was seeing and once he had he was struck momentarily speechless. There was a boy standing by his bed, a boy no older than five or six and he looked unnervingly like Jongin. Same eyes, same pouty mouth, he was even wearing the same t-shirt and sweats the older boy had gone to bed in the night before albeit in miniature. “I’m dreaming.” He heard himself say and inwardly congratulated himself for coming up with something the made sense despite having had minimal input from his brain. Of course he was dreaming, it was the only logical explanation.
“No you’re not.” Jongin’s lookalike told him, seemingly unimpressed by this response. And how did Sehun know he was unimpressed? Because he was sporting exactly the same expression as a full-sized Jongin would be if he’d found himself in the same situation. It was disconcerting to say the least.
“I must be dreaming.” Sehun insisted, sitting up with a yawn and rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “It’s either that or Jongin’s been hiding his illegitimate son in a wardrobe or something and now he’s escaped. Although to be honest that wouldn’t really surprise me; out of all of us Jongin’s probably the most likely to have a kid stashed away somewhere.”
“He doesn’t… I mean I don’t… what are you even saying? ” the boy spluttered, clearly horrified by the very suggestion. “How old do I look to you? That would have made me like thirteen or something when I… when he… I did not father a child when I was thirteen.”
“Wait.” Sehun said slowly, finally catching on to what the boy was saying. “Are you trying to tell me that you are Jongin? Because last time I checked he was the same age as I am.” Things were getting incredibly weird incredibly fast and he’d been awake (if he even was awake, he wasn't giving up on 'I'm dreaming' just yet) for less than five minutes, it was a miracle his brain had worked it out at all.
“That is exactly what I am telling you. I went to bed an adult and I woke up like this.”
“And you’re telling me why?” It was far too early in the morning for him to be anything other than blunt, not that he was terribly sympathetic at the best of times but he thought it was a valid excuse for the lack of compassion in his question. “How much help could I possibly be? Why aren’t you bothering Joonmyun? He’s the leader.”
“Yeah because this was something he was trained for.” Jongin said his hands going to his hips. It would make quite an adorable picture if the whole thing wasn’t so surreal.
And Sehun had to admit that pre-schooler Jongin had a point, it wasn’t as if Joonmyun would have been any better prepared to deal with this than he was but that still didn’t explain why he was the one Jongin had chosen to wake. “You two share a room though; wouldn’t it have been easier for you to wake him instead of me?”
Jongin scuffed his socked feet across the floor and sighed. “Okay, you weren't my first choice. I did go and wake up Joonmyun hyung first.”
“And what did he say?” Things were not making any more sense now than they had been two minutes ago and Sehun was not appreciating it one bit.
“Not a lot because well… he…” Jongin said trailing off and gesturing over his shoulder. Sehun looked up, finally noticing the tiny figure standing in the doorway. The figure took his thumb out of his mouth with a pop and gave a small wave.
“You have got to be kidding me!" He moaned. Jongin simply shrugged and Sehun scowled at him. While he was approaching a mental breakdown Jongin was radiating nonchalance, it was infuriating. "He’s even younger than you are right now.”
Jongin didn’t seem fazed by the glare he was receiving in the slightest. “Yeah I noticed that. So I thought ‘Hey, I’ll go wake Yifan’ but he wasn’t much help either.”
“Let me guess, Yifan has magically turned into a three year old too?”
“Not quite.” Jongin said at the same time as Joonmyun squeaked out a ‘Nope’.
“Oh God,” Sehun breathed resisting the sudden urge to hit his head against the wall behind him. “You’re saying no because he’s younger isn’t he?”
“Yes.” Jongin confirmed. “He’s a lot younger and it seems the younger you end up the harder it is for you to remember you were ever a grown adult because he’s sitting on the couch crying his eyes out, has been for last twenty minutes. Jongdae’s trying his best to calm him down but he’s not getting very far.”
“Because Jongdae is…”
“Currently around four years old, at the most.” Jongin finished for him. “And as far as we can make out what Yifan wants is his mother and we can’t exactly fetch her for him.”
“And you want me to fix things?” Sehun asked. “Yixing has way more patience than I do, or you could ask Chanyeol kids love him.” It was probably because Chanyeol shared the same mentality but even so Sehun was sure the older boy would be a better choice. And then he spotted the look on Jongin’s face. “I was your last resort.” He said, the colour draining from his face as realisation hit.
“Yeah.” Jongin said his expression apologetic. “After taking stock I’m pretty sure I’m the second oldest person in the dorm right now.”
“Great. That’s just perfect.” Sehun muttered. He drew his knees up to his chest and let his head drop with a groan. “This is not happening. It cannot be happening. If I’m not dreaming then I must be hallucinating.”
“You’re not.” Joonmyun piped up. “It’s real and it’s your fault.”
Sehun lifted his head and gaped at the small boy glaring accusingly at him from the doorway. “How on earth is this my fault?”
“You said being a parent wasn’t very hard.”
Sehun froze. Miniature Joonmyun was right. Just last night Minseok had been complaining, saying living in the dorm was like living with a bunch of children and that he didn’t know why anyone in their right mind would ever choose to have kids. And his response had been to inform Minseok that being a parent couldn’t be as hard as everyone made it out to be. ‘As long as you feed them, water them and make sure they have plenty of toys and stuff they pretty much look after themselves’ that’s what he’d said. As someone with no younger siblings and only one younger cousin that he only ever saw on holidays he might not have been entirely qualified to have an opinion on the matter, he could admit that now but he didn’t see how waking up to a house full of pre-schoolers was an appropriate punishment. “But this isn’t… lots of people must think the same thing. Why is this happening to me and not them?” He said aloud, not even bothering to try keeping the whine from his voice. It wasn’t fair.
“Dunno.” Joonmyun said with a shrug before popping his thumb back into his mouth and turning on his heel.
“Yeah thanks for the help hyung!” Sehun shouted after him as he disappeared down the corridor. Then he immediately felt ridiculous because he’d just thrown sulky sarcasm at a toddler. “I hate my life.” He huffed throwing himself back down on his bed and pulling his quilt over his head in a bid to block out the insanity that was the outside world.
“Yeah whatever.” Jongin snapped, his patience obviously wearing thin. “Just get up and sort Yifan out would you? His wailing is driving everyone crazy; it’s only a matter of time before someone goes to extremes to shut him up.”
Sehun threw his covers off again with a sigh “Okay, okay I’m coming.” He still wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t hallucinating but on the off chance that he wasn’t he supposed he’d better step in before he ended up with a death on his hands. He was going to have a hard enough time explaining this to people as it was.
Author: nicvick
Fandom: EXO
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (for possible future language)
Summary: Fill for this prompt on exopromptmeme. Sehun wakes up to find he's the oldest person in the Exo dorms.
“Go away.” Sehun mumbled to the person shoving his shoulder, his words muffled by his pillow. He wasn’t sure what time it was but even with his eyes closed he could tell it was still dark. They had two whole schedule free days ahead of them meaning still dark meant far too early.
Whoever it was disturbing his sleep just shoved harder and added an impatient ‘Wake up’.
“Leave me alone.” Sehun muttered. If the person shoved him one more time he was going to punch them in the face and damn the consequences. He needed sleep. And then it hit him. The voice didn’t belong to an exasperated Joonmyun or an impatient manager, it was a voice he didn’t recognise but that wasn’t the most worrying thing. The most worrying thing was that it sounded like it belonged to a child and that couldn't be right he thought forcing his eyes open and blinking up at the person trying to wake him. It took him a good twenty seconds to process what he was seeing and once he had he was struck momentarily speechless. There was a boy standing by his bed, a boy no older than five or six and he looked unnervingly like Jongin. Same eyes, same pouty mouth, he was even wearing the same t-shirt and sweats the older boy had gone to bed in the night before albeit in miniature. “I’m dreaming.” He heard himself say and inwardly congratulated himself for coming up with something the made sense despite having had minimal input from his brain. Of course he was dreaming, it was the only logical explanation.
“No you’re not.” Jongin’s lookalike told him, seemingly unimpressed by this response. And how did Sehun know he was unimpressed? Because he was sporting exactly the same expression as a full-sized Jongin would be if he’d found himself in the same situation. It was disconcerting to say the least.
“I must be dreaming.” Sehun insisted, sitting up with a yawn and rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “It’s either that or Jongin’s been hiding his illegitimate son in a wardrobe or something and now he’s escaped. Although to be honest that wouldn’t really surprise me; out of all of us Jongin’s probably the most likely to have a kid stashed away somewhere.”
“He doesn’t… I mean I don’t… what are you even saying? ” the boy spluttered, clearly horrified by the very suggestion. “How old do I look to you? That would have made me like thirteen or something when I… when he… I did not father a child when I was thirteen.”
“Wait.” Sehun said slowly, finally catching on to what the boy was saying. “Are you trying to tell me that you are Jongin? Because last time I checked he was the same age as I am.” Things were getting incredibly weird incredibly fast and he’d been awake (if he even was awake, he wasn't giving up on 'I'm dreaming' just yet) for less than five minutes, it was a miracle his brain had worked it out at all.
“That is exactly what I am telling you. I went to bed an adult and I woke up like this.”
“And you’re telling me why?” It was far too early in the morning for him to be anything other than blunt, not that he was terribly sympathetic at the best of times but he thought it was a valid excuse for the lack of compassion in his question. “How much help could I possibly be? Why aren’t you bothering Joonmyun? He’s the leader.”
“Yeah because this was something he was trained for.” Jongin said his hands going to his hips. It would make quite an adorable picture if the whole thing wasn’t so surreal.
And Sehun had to admit that pre-schooler Jongin had a point, it wasn’t as if Joonmyun would have been any better prepared to deal with this than he was but that still didn’t explain why he was the one Jongin had chosen to wake. “You two share a room though; wouldn’t it have been easier for you to wake him instead of me?”
Jongin scuffed his socked feet across the floor and sighed. “Okay, you weren't my first choice. I did go and wake up Joonmyun hyung first.”
“And what did he say?” Things were not making any more sense now than they had been two minutes ago and Sehun was not appreciating it one bit.
“Not a lot because well… he…” Jongin said trailing off and gesturing over his shoulder. Sehun looked up, finally noticing the tiny figure standing in the doorway. The figure took his thumb out of his mouth with a pop and gave a small wave.
“You have got to be kidding me!" He moaned. Jongin simply shrugged and Sehun scowled at him. While he was approaching a mental breakdown Jongin was radiating nonchalance, it was infuriating. "He’s even younger than you are right now.”
Jongin didn’t seem fazed by the glare he was receiving in the slightest. “Yeah I noticed that. So I thought ‘Hey, I’ll go wake Yifan’ but he wasn’t much help either.”
“Let me guess, Yifan has magically turned into a three year old too?”
“Not quite.” Jongin said at the same time as Joonmyun squeaked out a ‘Nope’.
“Oh God,” Sehun breathed resisting the sudden urge to hit his head against the wall behind him. “You’re saying no because he’s younger isn’t he?”
“Yes.” Jongin confirmed. “He’s a lot younger and it seems the younger you end up the harder it is for you to remember you were ever a grown adult because he’s sitting on the couch crying his eyes out, has been for last twenty minutes. Jongdae’s trying his best to calm him down but he’s not getting very far.”
“Because Jongdae is…”
“Currently around four years old, at the most.” Jongin finished for him. “And as far as we can make out what Yifan wants is his mother and we can’t exactly fetch her for him.”
“And you want me to fix things?” Sehun asked. “Yixing has way more patience than I do, or you could ask Chanyeol kids love him.” It was probably because Chanyeol shared the same mentality but even so Sehun was sure the older boy would be a better choice. And then he spotted the look on Jongin’s face. “I was your last resort.” He said, the colour draining from his face as realisation hit.
“Yeah.” Jongin said his expression apologetic. “After taking stock I’m pretty sure I’m the second oldest person in the dorm right now.”
“Great. That’s just perfect.” Sehun muttered. He drew his knees up to his chest and let his head drop with a groan. “This is not happening. It cannot be happening. If I’m not dreaming then I must be hallucinating.”
“You’re not.” Joonmyun piped up. “It’s real and it’s your fault.”
Sehun lifted his head and gaped at the small boy glaring accusingly at him from the doorway. “How on earth is this my fault?”
“You said being a parent wasn’t very hard.”
Sehun froze. Miniature Joonmyun was right. Just last night Minseok had been complaining, saying living in the dorm was like living with a bunch of children and that he didn’t know why anyone in their right mind would ever choose to have kids. And his response had been to inform Minseok that being a parent couldn’t be as hard as everyone made it out to be. ‘As long as you feed them, water them and make sure they have plenty of toys and stuff they pretty much look after themselves’ that’s what he’d said. As someone with no younger siblings and only one younger cousin that he only ever saw on holidays he might not have been entirely qualified to have an opinion on the matter, he could admit that now but he didn’t see how waking up to a house full of pre-schoolers was an appropriate punishment. “But this isn’t… lots of people must think the same thing. Why is this happening to me and not them?” He said aloud, not even bothering to try keeping the whine from his voice. It wasn’t fair.
“Dunno.” Joonmyun said with a shrug before popping his thumb back into his mouth and turning on his heel.
“Yeah thanks for the help hyung!” Sehun shouted after him as he disappeared down the corridor. Then he immediately felt ridiculous because he’d just thrown sulky sarcasm at a toddler. “I hate my life.” He huffed throwing himself back down on his bed and pulling his quilt over his head in a bid to block out the insanity that was the outside world.
“Yeah whatever.” Jongin snapped, his patience obviously wearing thin. “Just get up and sort Yifan out would you? His wailing is driving everyone crazy; it’s only a matter of time before someone goes to extremes to shut him up.”
Sehun threw his covers off again with a sigh “Okay, okay I’m coming.” He still wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t hallucinating but on the off chance that he wasn’t he supposed he’d better step in before he ended up with a death on his hands. He was going to have a hard enough time explaining this to people as it was.