Colorless (2/3)
Title: Colorless (2/3)
Author: nidesux a.k.a moi
Length: Multi-chaptered. 8,000+ in all.
Pairing: Ohno x Aiba a.k.a Ohba/side pairing(s): Matsumiya & Sakuraiba
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU Fluff, drama
Summary: In a world of gray, an artist like Satoshi would crave to know what color is.
Satoshi pondered over the thought of him really wanting to find the man or not. Didn’t he just tell himself that he was content with what he had? That black, white and gray, is fine as long as he can draw and paint the images in his mind? He didn’t know that seeing that one color, blue, would change everything.
“You’re obsessed,” he mumbled to himself as he stared at the blank canvas while holding his paint brush and palette. He shut his eyes, trying to imagine the blue skies he painted the other day, but the color was gone and was just black with white as the clouds. His hand was shaking; he doesn’t know what to paint anymore-doesn’t know what he wants to paint anymore other than blue skies. The things Kazunari had described to him were very limited too, so he wasn’t sure if he should use a darker color to paint something or something lighter. It was one of the disadvantages of being a painter who’s colorblind. No, it’s the only disadvantage when it comes to that. Satoshi looked down at the palette and mixed together whatever color it was that he put in there (he doesn’t ask Kazunari which colors he buy for him, it makes his head hurt) then decided to paint something else: Trees, a river and a bridge. After an hour or so, he was done with his piece for the day. He stared at it and a forced smile appeared on his face. It looked alright, in his opinion. He still included the sky of course, though he wasn’t sure if he used the right color. Blue.
Satoshi bumped into Sho when he was riding the elevator. They both greeted each other and stayed silent all the way down to the lobby. Sho got a call as the elevator doors opened and Satoshi couldn’t help but eavesdrop a bit as they both walked out. He made sure to keep a safe distance between them. His heart started beating fast when Sho mentioned that name again. It felt very familiar to him, and he wanted to ask the man about it. But he didn’t and just turned the opposite direction Sho was going. He was completely going the wrong way, but he didn’t mind at all.
He walked a few blocks before turning around and walking back to his studio’s building. It was obvious that Sho was gone, so he didn’t feel that uncomfortable anymore. His thoughts were still all over the place, and he felt rather heavy because of it. He never realized how sad the world looks like in black and white, especially when it’s night. Though at the same time, when he looks up at the sky, he can’t help but find the night sky beautiful, and he can’t help but want to stay out for a while and draw. But he doesn’t.
It was that time for him to sell some of his paintings again to make some money. He carried a few of his artwork to the facility that Kazunari directed him to go to that accepts any form of art in exchange for money. The people there, as he was informed, can see colors. He felt jealous, yet relieved that other people can at least see what his paintings’ colors were. They’d compliment them before handing over the money, and Satoshi would smile. But this time he asked what the colors were, and it was clear to him that the people there were surprised of his view of the world being colorless.
“We’re sorry,” one of them said, “we thought that, judging by your artwork, that you can see colors-”
He stared at them with a confused expression on his face. And one of the older male in the facility continued. “-we were surprised that you can tell which color is which. It’s very impressive, Ohno-san.” Satoshi wanted to laugh at this, but he felt sort of proud because of it. He thanked them then excused himself.
A day passed and all Satoshi did was-in order not to think too much of things-paint and catch up on sleep that he had been missing over the past few days due to over-thinking. His peace and quiet didn’t last long since Kazunari barged in that night, telling Satoshi to get his ass up and get ready. When asked why, all he did was push the still half-asleep man inside the bathroom and rummaged through his closet to pick out something he could wear.
Though he already freshened up and took a shower, Satoshi still looked so sleepy. Kazunari clicked his tongue at this then shoved the clothes he picked out for his friend, telling him to be ready in ten minutes or else. Satoshi chose not to answer and just follow the man’s orders; he shivered when Kazunari told him that he was currently wearing something blue. Ten minutes after exactly, he walked out of his bedroom then asked Kazunari once again why he had to get ready at nine in the evening.
“We’re going to a party,” Kazunari replied. “Jun’s downstairs waiting for us, now let’s go!”
His eyes following the city lights made his head hurt, so he chose to close his eyes. He was sat at the back of Jun’s car while Kazunari was in the passenger’s seat, humming to whatever song it was on the radio. And Satoshi found himself drumming his fingers to the beat of the song. Wearing something blue, he thought to himself. Nice.
Turns out, it was Jun’s friend Toma’s birthday that day. And he was allowed to bring over people (“The more the merrier” were the man’s exact words, Jun told him) Satoshi thanked both of his friends for bringing him, and even teased Kazunari for disturbing his slumber, to which the latter just laughed and gave a snarky comment. They arrive half an hour later, and Satoshi gawked at how lively the house looked like, granted they were still outside that time. Once inside, everyone greeted them and they greeted everyone back. Jun excused himself to look for Toma, and Kazunari stayed with him, greeting a few of the other people at the party.
They got drinks for themselves and whilst Kazunari was chatting with a few of the guests, Satoshi only stayed behind him, sipping his drink quietly. Toma came back with Jun, and Kazunari greeted him a happy birthday before giving a quick hug. Satoshi greeted him as well after he pulled away from his friend, and Toma thanked him, telling him to enjoy the party.
He, out of curiosity, asked Kazunari if the birthday guy could see colors since the decoration of the house seemed so lively because of the lights just outside. Kazunari answered with a no, and asked if Toma was the person Satoshi was looking for. This caught him off-guard, and he shook his head frantically as an answer, making his friend laugh before patting his back. Satoshi laughed along with him. That is, until the front door opened again and in came Sakurai Sho, holding a box. He abruptly stopped laughing and just stared at him. The other noticed this and flashed a smile at him before approaching Toma and greeting him a happy birthday.
“Where’s Aiba-kun?” Toma asked, and Satoshi’s breath hitched. That familiar feeling rushed over to him and he found himself looking at the front door again, hoping-expecting that the man, Aiba, would enter any minute now.
“He’s on his way from his workplace,” Sho answered then greeted everyone before getting a drink. He stood close to him and Kazunari, greeting the both of them. This pulled Satoshi back to the present and greeted him back. Jun joined in and it turned out that he, Sho, and Toma were in college together.
“Still wearing sunglasses indoors, I see,” Sho smirked, earning a gentle punch on the shoulder from Jun before adjusting the said sunglasses and walking back to where Toma was. Kazunari excused himself then followed behind his boyfriend. Satoshi wasn’t aware that he was staring at Sho that he had to ask him what was wrong.
“Ah,” he smiled, shaking his head. “Nothing,”
“I saw some of your artworks the other day, Ohno-san,” the man smiled. “I actually wrote a piece inspired by one of your paintings,” Satoshi asked if he was a novelist, and he answered with a nod and a proud grin. He was also going to ask if Sho could see colors, but decided not to since he knew that the man’s answer would hurt him.
“-it sucks not getting to see your paintings properly, though,” Sho said rather pensively. “I, uh, can’t see colors.” After he told him that, Satoshi’s heart started to beat faster. He felt hopeful. Very hopeful. But he can’t help but fumble for his words when the other suddenly asked if he could describe to him what colors he used in his paintings were.
“I’m afraid I can’t answer that,” he smiled apologetically. “I can’t see colors as well.”
Sho looked surprised for a second, immediately hiding it with a soft smile and nod. They both ended up talking about their colorless, dull worlds and how they try to handle it. Talking with Sho was fun, and Satoshi mentally slapped himself for being so aloof towards the man back then.
“Ohno-san,” Sho started. “Is it really true that the person that can make you see the world properly is the one you’re supposed to love?”
Satoshi let out a heavy sigh, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know either. But judging from Kazunari and Jun’s relationship…” he trailed off, glancing over at his two friends. Kazunari noticed and looked back at him, waving a little. “…I think it is true.”
“Well there are some people who choose to be content with the people they have,” Sho sighed as well. “It’s weird, how our fate is decided by who helps us see colors. If you love someone, then that’s it, right? Even if they help you see the world and its colors or not, you still love them.”
“Speaking from experience, Sakurai-san?” Satoshi teased him. Sho laughed.
“I guess… Someone else actually told me that, and I agree because I do love him,” he instantly knew who ‘him’ was. And he suddenly felt uncomfortable being around his new friend, even though he wasn’t even sure if this Aiba person was the key for him to finally see colors. He clicked his tongue in annoyance to himself then drank the remaining of his beer. He flinched when someone called out for Aiba, and Sho stood up to help the man with the big box he was carrying. Aiba greeted the host a happy birthday. And Toma messed up his hair, thanking him for the present and telling him to enjoy the party.
Satoshi did his best to stay hidden because he knew now completely that Aiba, the one who accidentally entered his studio, the one with the unforgettable voice, is the one for him. He wasn’t sure if the other knew that the key to unlocking his own world was there, sitting on the couch and playing with an empty can of beer.
“Ohno-san,” he froze when said Aiba approached him. “It’s nice seeing you here! I didn’t know you were friends with Toma,” All Satoshi did was stare at him, feeling happiness envelop him for finally seeing how he looked like. He said that he was with a mutual friend, and Aiba smiled as an answer. Satoshi then excused himself because of the sudden excruciating pain in his head and eyes. He didn’t know that Kazunari followed him to the veranda. He was crouched down on the floor, cradling his head. His friend asked him if Aiba was the person he was looking for, and he said yes, looking up at Kazunari with now teary eyes because of the pain. He knew he should be happy that he was, for the first time, seeing how different from white the lighting in Toma’s house was like, and how Kazunari’s eyes looked different from black, and how his lips looked nicer with color.
But it was gone almost immediately, and he felt stuck yet again.
“Is it possible for one person to be the key to someone else’s color, but not vice-versa?” Satoshi asked moments after. He felt lost. Kazunari sat beside him, shaking his head and telling him that the effects may probably be more severe on his side than on Aiba’s.
“How was it, seeing colors?” it took a minute for Satoshi to form a decent answer since his mind was filled with so many thoughts.
“It’s… nice,” his voice came out almost like a whisper. Truthfully, it was nice, but he was too focused on the thought of Aiba, not reacting at all to them meeting. They stayed quiet for a while; Kazunari beside him while he, on the other hand, was massaging his aching head. His gaze moved from the wooden chair in front of him to the sliding glass door, and all he could see was Jun, staring back at them. He beckoned for them to come inside and Satoshi told Kazunari this and went in.
Kazunari asked what’s wrong, and Jun whispered something to him that made him look at Satoshi with a look that he cannot describe. He asked what was wrong, and Kazunari told him that Aiba and Sho had to go home because Aiba suddenly felt dizzy and almost collapsed. The three of them stood there in silence, only the noise coming from the other guests of Toma’s party filling the room. Satoshi looked down at the floor before meeting gazes again with his friend, and though it wasn’t the best time to do so, he smiled.
< Part 1
Part 3>
Author: nidesux a.k.a moi
Length: Multi-chaptered. 8,000+ in all.
Pairing: Ohno x Aiba a.k.a Ohba/side pairing(s): Matsumiya & Sakuraiba
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU Fluff, drama
Summary: In a world of gray, an artist like Satoshi would crave to know what color is.
Satoshi pondered over the thought of him really wanting to find the man or not. Didn’t he just tell himself that he was content with what he had? That black, white and gray, is fine as long as he can draw and paint the images in his mind? He didn’t know that seeing that one color, blue, would change everything.
“You’re obsessed,” he mumbled to himself as he stared at the blank canvas while holding his paint brush and palette. He shut his eyes, trying to imagine the blue skies he painted the other day, but the color was gone and was just black with white as the clouds. His hand was shaking; he doesn’t know what to paint anymore-doesn’t know what he wants to paint anymore other than blue skies. The things Kazunari had described to him were very limited too, so he wasn’t sure if he should use a darker color to paint something or something lighter. It was one of the disadvantages of being a painter who’s colorblind. No, it’s the only disadvantage when it comes to that. Satoshi looked down at the palette and mixed together whatever color it was that he put in there (he doesn’t ask Kazunari which colors he buy for him, it makes his head hurt) then decided to paint something else: Trees, a river and a bridge. After an hour or so, he was done with his piece for the day. He stared at it and a forced smile appeared on his face. It looked alright, in his opinion. He still included the sky of course, though he wasn’t sure if he used the right color. Blue.
Satoshi bumped into Sho when he was riding the elevator. They both greeted each other and stayed silent all the way down to the lobby. Sho got a call as the elevator doors opened and Satoshi couldn’t help but eavesdrop a bit as they both walked out. He made sure to keep a safe distance between them. His heart started beating fast when Sho mentioned that name again. It felt very familiar to him, and he wanted to ask the man about it. But he didn’t and just turned the opposite direction Sho was going. He was completely going the wrong way, but he didn’t mind at all.
He walked a few blocks before turning around and walking back to his studio’s building. It was obvious that Sho was gone, so he didn’t feel that uncomfortable anymore. His thoughts were still all over the place, and he felt rather heavy because of it. He never realized how sad the world looks like in black and white, especially when it’s night. Though at the same time, when he looks up at the sky, he can’t help but find the night sky beautiful, and he can’t help but want to stay out for a while and draw. But he doesn’t.
It was that time for him to sell some of his paintings again to make some money. He carried a few of his artwork to the facility that Kazunari directed him to go to that accepts any form of art in exchange for money. The people there, as he was informed, can see colors. He felt jealous, yet relieved that other people can at least see what his paintings’ colors were. They’d compliment them before handing over the money, and Satoshi would smile. But this time he asked what the colors were, and it was clear to him that the people there were surprised of his view of the world being colorless.
“We’re sorry,” one of them said, “we thought that, judging by your artwork, that you can see colors-”
He stared at them with a confused expression on his face. And one of the older male in the facility continued. “-we were surprised that you can tell which color is which. It’s very impressive, Ohno-san.” Satoshi wanted to laugh at this, but he felt sort of proud because of it. He thanked them then excused himself.
A day passed and all Satoshi did was-in order not to think too much of things-paint and catch up on sleep that he had been missing over the past few days due to over-thinking. His peace and quiet didn’t last long since Kazunari barged in that night, telling Satoshi to get his ass up and get ready. When asked why, all he did was push the still half-asleep man inside the bathroom and rummaged through his closet to pick out something he could wear.
Though he already freshened up and took a shower, Satoshi still looked so sleepy. Kazunari clicked his tongue at this then shoved the clothes he picked out for his friend, telling him to be ready in ten minutes or else. Satoshi chose not to answer and just follow the man’s orders; he shivered when Kazunari told him that he was currently wearing something blue. Ten minutes after exactly, he walked out of his bedroom then asked Kazunari once again why he had to get ready at nine in the evening.
“We’re going to a party,” Kazunari replied. “Jun’s downstairs waiting for us, now let’s go!”
His eyes following the city lights made his head hurt, so he chose to close his eyes. He was sat at the back of Jun’s car while Kazunari was in the passenger’s seat, humming to whatever song it was on the radio. And Satoshi found himself drumming his fingers to the beat of the song. Wearing something blue, he thought to himself. Nice.
Turns out, it was Jun’s friend Toma’s birthday that day. And he was allowed to bring over people (“The more the merrier” were the man’s exact words, Jun told him) Satoshi thanked both of his friends for bringing him, and even teased Kazunari for disturbing his slumber, to which the latter just laughed and gave a snarky comment. They arrive half an hour later, and Satoshi gawked at how lively the house looked like, granted they were still outside that time. Once inside, everyone greeted them and they greeted everyone back. Jun excused himself to look for Toma, and Kazunari stayed with him, greeting a few of the other people at the party.
They got drinks for themselves and whilst Kazunari was chatting with a few of the guests, Satoshi only stayed behind him, sipping his drink quietly. Toma came back with Jun, and Kazunari greeted him a happy birthday before giving a quick hug. Satoshi greeted him as well after he pulled away from his friend, and Toma thanked him, telling him to enjoy the party.
He, out of curiosity, asked Kazunari if the birthday guy could see colors since the decoration of the house seemed so lively because of the lights just outside. Kazunari answered with a no, and asked if Toma was the person Satoshi was looking for. This caught him off-guard, and he shook his head frantically as an answer, making his friend laugh before patting his back. Satoshi laughed along with him. That is, until the front door opened again and in came Sakurai Sho, holding a box. He abruptly stopped laughing and just stared at him. The other noticed this and flashed a smile at him before approaching Toma and greeting him a happy birthday.
“Where’s Aiba-kun?” Toma asked, and Satoshi’s breath hitched. That familiar feeling rushed over to him and he found himself looking at the front door again, hoping-expecting that the man, Aiba, would enter any minute now.
“He’s on his way from his workplace,” Sho answered then greeted everyone before getting a drink. He stood close to him and Kazunari, greeting the both of them. This pulled Satoshi back to the present and greeted him back. Jun joined in and it turned out that he, Sho, and Toma were in college together.
“Still wearing sunglasses indoors, I see,” Sho smirked, earning a gentle punch on the shoulder from Jun before adjusting the said sunglasses and walking back to where Toma was. Kazunari excused himself then followed behind his boyfriend. Satoshi wasn’t aware that he was staring at Sho that he had to ask him what was wrong.
“Ah,” he smiled, shaking his head. “Nothing,”
“I saw some of your artworks the other day, Ohno-san,” the man smiled. “I actually wrote a piece inspired by one of your paintings,” Satoshi asked if he was a novelist, and he answered with a nod and a proud grin. He was also going to ask if Sho could see colors, but decided not to since he knew that the man’s answer would hurt him.
“-it sucks not getting to see your paintings properly, though,” Sho said rather pensively. “I, uh, can’t see colors.” After he told him that, Satoshi’s heart started to beat faster. He felt hopeful. Very hopeful. But he can’t help but fumble for his words when the other suddenly asked if he could describe to him what colors he used in his paintings were.
“I’m afraid I can’t answer that,” he smiled apologetically. “I can’t see colors as well.”
Sho looked surprised for a second, immediately hiding it with a soft smile and nod. They both ended up talking about their colorless, dull worlds and how they try to handle it. Talking with Sho was fun, and Satoshi mentally slapped himself for being so aloof towards the man back then.
“Ohno-san,” Sho started. “Is it really true that the person that can make you see the world properly is the one you’re supposed to love?”
Satoshi let out a heavy sigh, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know either. But judging from Kazunari and Jun’s relationship…” he trailed off, glancing over at his two friends. Kazunari noticed and looked back at him, waving a little. “…I think it is true.”
“Well there are some people who choose to be content with the people they have,” Sho sighed as well. “It’s weird, how our fate is decided by who helps us see colors. If you love someone, then that’s it, right? Even if they help you see the world and its colors or not, you still love them.”
“Speaking from experience, Sakurai-san?” Satoshi teased him. Sho laughed.
“I guess… Someone else actually told me that, and I agree because I do love him,” he instantly knew who ‘him’ was. And he suddenly felt uncomfortable being around his new friend, even though he wasn’t even sure if this Aiba person was the key for him to finally see colors. He clicked his tongue in annoyance to himself then drank the remaining of his beer. He flinched when someone called out for Aiba, and Sho stood up to help the man with the big box he was carrying. Aiba greeted the host a happy birthday. And Toma messed up his hair, thanking him for the present and telling him to enjoy the party.
Satoshi did his best to stay hidden because he knew now completely that Aiba, the one who accidentally entered his studio, the one with the unforgettable voice, is the one for him. He wasn’t sure if the other knew that the key to unlocking his own world was there, sitting on the couch and playing with an empty can of beer.
“Ohno-san,” he froze when said Aiba approached him. “It’s nice seeing you here! I didn’t know you were friends with Toma,” All Satoshi did was stare at him, feeling happiness envelop him for finally seeing how he looked like. He said that he was with a mutual friend, and Aiba smiled as an answer. Satoshi then excused himself because of the sudden excruciating pain in his head and eyes. He didn’t know that Kazunari followed him to the veranda. He was crouched down on the floor, cradling his head. His friend asked him if Aiba was the person he was looking for, and he said yes, looking up at Kazunari with now teary eyes because of the pain. He knew he should be happy that he was, for the first time, seeing how different from white the lighting in Toma’s house was like, and how Kazunari’s eyes looked different from black, and how his lips looked nicer with color.
But it was gone almost immediately, and he felt stuck yet again.
“Is it possible for one person to be the key to someone else’s color, but not vice-versa?” Satoshi asked moments after. He felt lost. Kazunari sat beside him, shaking his head and telling him that the effects may probably be more severe on his side than on Aiba’s.
“How was it, seeing colors?” it took a minute for Satoshi to form a decent answer since his mind was filled with so many thoughts.
“It’s… nice,” his voice came out almost like a whisper. Truthfully, it was nice, but he was too focused on the thought of Aiba, not reacting at all to them meeting. They stayed quiet for a while; Kazunari beside him while he, on the other hand, was massaging his aching head. His gaze moved from the wooden chair in front of him to the sliding glass door, and all he could see was Jun, staring back at them. He beckoned for them to come inside and Satoshi told Kazunari this and went in.
Kazunari asked what’s wrong, and Jun whispered something to him that made him look at Satoshi with a look that he cannot describe. He asked what was wrong, and Kazunari told him that Aiba and Sho had to go home because Aiba suddenly felt dizzy and almost collapsed. The three of them stood there in silence, only the noise coming from the other guests of Toma’s party filling the room. Satoshi looked down at the floor before meeting gazes again with his friend, and though it wasn’t the best time to do so, he smiled.
< Part 1
Part 3>