(no subject)
--
“Hey,” Cook says softly as he walks into the spare room. He’s got a pile of his clothes in his hands and his pajama’s on, David looks up from where he’s folding his own clothes and smiles.
“Tonight went well,” David whispers. He’s not exactly sure why but he feels like he should be whispering.
“Yeah,” Cook replies.
A heavy silence falls over them but for the first time in two days, it isn’t awkward, it’s just - silence.
David shuffles to his suitcase and puts his newly folded clothes in it and then stands at the foot of the bed.
“Which side do you want?” Cook asks, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Um, right” David bites his lip and blushes a tiny bit.
“Alright.” Cook goes to shut the door, giving gives David a second to crawl into bed and get situated before turning the light off and fumbling his way to his side of the bed. When Cook gets under the covers, his leg bumps David’s and then David elbows him in the stomach.
“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” David rolls over and his hands reach out to make sure he didn’t seriously injure Cook - but David’s hands are a little too low and they end up brushing against Cook’s crotch. David flushes and quickly pulls his hands back when he realizes what he’s just done.
“I’m good,” Cook says but his voice is strained and David is now convinced he’s actually hurt Cook.
“No, your voice is strained, oh my heck I totally hurt you.” David is still on his side, staring at Cook - or trying to because it’s really dark and David can’t see much of anything.
“Trust me, that isn’t why my voice is strained.” Cook says the words so bluntly that it leaves David speechless for a minute.
“Oh,” David finally says, when he finds his voice and then - his - and he’s getting hard because he knows what Cook means.
“Yeah. I should just sleep on the floor.” Cook rolls over and is about to get out of bed when -
“Wait!” David reaches out and grabs (what he hopes is) Cook’s arm and stops Cook from getting up. “It’s okay.” David’s voice is a little breathless and it takes Cook a minute to process what he’s just said but when he does, Cook rolls over back on his back and David lets his hand fall from his arm.
“Okay,” Cook says, very quietly and takes a deep breath.
“Um.” David is still looking in Cook’s direction and he really wishes the light were on so he could see Cook’s face. “I - can - um.” David can’t put together the sentence he so badly wants to say and something tightens in his stomach when he thinks about - about what he wants to do with Cook right now.
Cook doesn’t move, doesn’t even say anything and David pauses and thinks really hard about what he wants.
And then he reaches out and finds Cook’s hand.
Cook jumps when David grabs it and David can hear Cook’s head turning on the pillow, facing him and it makes David blush so hard.
“I - I um.” David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then he squeezes Cook’s hand and brings it to his crotch, pressing Cook’s hand down on his hard on. “I want,” David gasps outs, his tongue darts out to wet his lips and his throat is so dry.
“You want?” Cook repeats and David lets go of Cook’s hand but it doesn’t move, it just presses down, and David reaches out to grab a fistful of sheets in each hand, his head feels so fuzzy.
“Yes,” David pants out as Cook keeps rubbing him. The feeling is intense and David feels so hot, he’s sweating everywhere and the fire in his stomach is burning hotter than it ever has.
Cook doesn’t wait for David to elaborate, doesn’t wait for him to change his mind, doesn’t even wait half a second before he’s on top of David, crushing their mouths together.
David lets out an embarrassing moan. His back arches up into Cook and his hands pull at the sheets, tugging as hard as he can.
Cook’s hands are everywhere, on his face, his chest, his legs, his arms - and then Cook is pulling David up so he can take his shirt off and David wants to be embarrassed, wants to hide his body but he doesn’t because - because this is Cook.
And David is pretty sure he loves Cook. Like, forever love.
++
Cook is - he can’t think because he’s on top of a half-naked David Archuleta, kissing him and grinding their dicks together and it’s real - it’s not a dream - this is real life.
It’s unreal, it’s unbelievably hot, it’s got Cook so riled up and he just wants to take David now, he wants to make love to him - he wants it all.
But he knows tonight isn’t the night. Not here, not now.
So he just keeps grinding down into David, lining their dicks up and rubbing and creating such delicious friction.
Cook pulls away from David’s mouth and trails his lips down to David’s neck, lightly sucking at the sensitive skin and grinning when David’s breath catches in his throat and David’s hips stutter against Cook’s. Cook sucks at the same spot and this time David’s hands grip at Cook’s shoulders and Cook knows, he knows he’s just found David’s weak spot.
“Oh, please.” David’s voice is quiet, coming out in an almost-whisper.
“Please what?” Cook asks against David’s neck, kissing down until he hits David’s collarbone. Cook knows David doesn’t know what he’s asking for, he knows David has no clue what he’s doing and all David can think is please and want.
“Please.” David’s hands squeeze Cook’s shoulders and his head falls back against the pillows when Cook takes one of David’s nipples into his mouth. “Oh gosh, oh my.” David lets out a moan, louder than the others and Cook bites David’s nipple softly.
“You’re going to get us caught,” Cook teases but David just lets out a whine and pushes his chest up to Cook’s face. Cook laughs but gets the hint and goes to David’s other nipple, giving it the same teasing.
“Ngghh.” David’s legs fall open and Cook fits easily between them; the simple gesture turns him on more than anything else ever has.
“These need to be off.” Cook says as he pulls away from David’s chest, he tugs at David’s pajama pants and the younger man doesn’t even hesitate, just lifts his hips and lets Cook take his boxers and pants off. Cook wishes the light was on, he wishes he could see David’s face, wishes he could see David.
Cook reaches out to stroke David, a barely-there touch and David’s hips snap up and he whimpers.
“Holy shit.” Cook mumbles as he strokes David more firmly. David is thick and he’s - well, he’s a lot bigger than Cook expected.
“Don’t swear,” David scolds in between gasps.
“Sorry. Let me make it up to you.” Cook doesn’t even give David a second to catch his breath or even clue into what Cook is about to do - he just leans down and sucks David into his mouth.
David arches off the bed, a loud moan ripping from his throat and his hands fly to Cook’s hair, tugging hard but not trying to stop him.
Cook grins around his mouthful of David and then sucks down as far as he can. Cook can feel David’s toes curling on his leg and it makes him smile, makes him want to make this the best blow job David will ever get.
++
There’s ringing in David’s ears, his head feels like it’s stuffed with cotton and his stomach is burning so hot - it’s all so good, too good, almost.
Cook is - he’s sucking on him and it feels like - Cook’s mouth feels like a wet furnace and it’s so beyond anything David could ever dream up or fantasize.
David lets go of Cook’s hair and stretches his hands above his head, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with them so he just grips the headboard as hard as he can and tries not to come too early.
Cook pulls off David and strokes him once, twice and then asks, “are you holding the headboard?”
David’s hips twitch and his tongue darts out to lick his lips again. “Yeah,” David replies.
“Jesus. You don’t even - you are so hot.” Cook lets out a breathless laugh and then leans back down to plant kisses along David’s thighs and everywhere around where David wants him to kiss most.
++
“Please,” David begs and Cook can’t - he can’t deny David anything when he begs so he lets his mouth find David and sucks, hard.
David chokes on a moan and Cook takes this as a perfect opportunity to hum, as loud as he can, around the head of David’s dick and that’s all it takes - David’s body seizes, his hips snap up (and Cook is almost sure he hears wood snapping) and then David is coming. Cook takes as much as he can in his mouth; only a little dribbles out and down his chin, and he wipes that off with his arm.
“Um,” David says, his voice rough and his body spent, lying limp on the bed. “Wait - you haven’t -” David goes to sit up but Cook pushes him back down.
“You don’t have too.” Cook reaches down and jerks himself off, and it only takes three strokes before he’s coming, too. “Next time,” Cook pants out as he wipes a hand on the sheets and crawls up the bed until he’s lying face-to-face with David.
“Next time,” David echoes and even though Cook can’t see it, he knows David is smiling.
--
The rest of the weekend goes by quickly. David’s mom and siblings come the next day and David blushes when Lupe and Beth fawn over Cook and him and he fights Amber and Jazzy off Cook when they ask him to sing songs from ‘The Little Mermaid” and “Aladdin”.
They all decide to go out for a picnic Sunday afternoon, and they join at least a hundred other families at the park - everything is decorated in red, blue and white and there are flags at every corner.
David sits half in Cook’s lap the entire picnic, except for when they get up to play Frisbee with Andrew, Jazzy, Amber and Daniel. They cuddle when the fireworks go off high above them and David feels like maybe this could be - maybe it could be real.
--
When they get back, Cook is called into the studio to do more work on his album and Julie calls David the second he gets back into LA and tells him he’s going to Europe for two months in one week.
“Two months?” Cook asks as they brush their teeth.
David nods and leans over the sink to spit out the last of the toothpaste in his mouth.
“Yeah.” David dries his mouth and leaves the bathroom - he doesn’t want to leave for two months. Cook and him just started really getting into this, they just - it just started getting real and now he was being sent off.
Something heavy settled in David’s stomach and he had a feeling this wasn’t a surprise trip as Julie had said.
In fact, David’s starting to think this is part of the whole fake-dating-then-breakup plan. It makes him want to cry and tell Julie he’s not leaving Cook.
--
“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll call and text and Skype. It’ll be fine.” Cook and David are lying in bed; Cook is running his fingers through David’s hair and lightly massaging his scalp.
“Yeah, but it just - I just - I don’t want to leave right now.” David ignores the part of his brain that is screaming at him to tell Cook why he thinks he’s being forced on this trip.
David doesn’t want to ruin this yet though, not while it’s still so good. David will just wait, yeah; he’ll give it a week or two.
Or ten.
“So hey, I think you owe me something.” Cook’s voice is low and his fingers have moved from David’s head to his neck and then his back.
David laughs when Cook rolls on top of him, his laughter dies down when Cook kisses him stupid, though.
--
“Wait, stop. Cooook!” David laughs and tries to hide his face when Cook comes into the room with a video camera.
“Say hi to the camera, Arch.” Cook is smiling fondly at David; he walks up to the edge of the bed and watches David through the screen on the video camera.
“Cook, oh my gosh, don’t even put this on your computer because someone will find it and everything will just - it’ll all blow up.”
Cook laughs loudly and then kneels on the bed.
“Don’t worry, it’s strictly for ‘when you’re away and I get lonely’ purposes only.” Cook winks and watches as David turns a pretty shade of red. “How about you show some more skin.” Cook bites back a grin and has to duck when a pillow comes flying at him.
Cook abandons the camera at the end of the bed; the lens pointing towards David and then him when he jumps on David, attacking him with kisses and bites.
The video camera then catches a lot more than short kisses and soft bites.
--
“No, I am filming you for the next week until you leave.”
David glares at Cook and the video camera and chops up some more carrots.
“I’ll break that.” David says very seriously, lifting the chopping knife and wagging it at the camera. The camera shakes when Cook laughs.
“Marry me?” Cook asks and David blushes and scoops the carrots up.
“Where’s my ring?” David asks as he starts chopping up an onion and Cook is pretty sure he is going to marry David.
--
David is nearly finished dinner when Cook comes wandering back into the kitchen, video camera out of hand and David feels a small sense of relief.
“Smells good,” Cook says as he walks up behind David. He leans over David’s shoulder to see what he’s stirring.
“It’s healthy too.” David smiles and Cook pokes at his hips, making David jump and almost fling carrots out of the pan.
“I could get used to this,” Cook says into David’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around David’s waist.
They don’t talk about how David is leaving for Europe in two days.
--
“And here, we have David showering,” Cook says quietly into the camera, then he slowly opens the bathroom door. He’s met with steam and David singing Waiting on the World to Change’. Cook bites back a laugh and creeps closer to the shower; he rips the curtain open and shouts, “say hi, Archie!” David jumps and turns to Cook, his hair is lathered with shampoo and his eyes are bugged out so far Cook is sure this will be the day they fall out.
David pushes at the camera and pulls the shower curtain back. “I hate you.” Cook hears as he leaves the bathroom laughing.
--
“We should go out, since it’s your last night in town for two months.”
Cook laces his fingers with David’s and David sighs against Cook’s chest.
“Don’t remind me,” David says miserably.
“In-N-Out?” Cook suggests and he can feel David’s smile on his chest. “We probably should put proper clothes on first, don’t want the paps getting pictures of things they shouldn’t.”
David laughs but it dies when he remembers the paparazzi.
And the fact that this is all pretend, or it’s supposed to be. David pushes the words publicity and fake to the back of his mind and goes to throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
++
Cook’s concerned. They’re sitting in his car in the parking lot of In-N-Out and David has been quiet since they had left the apartment, he even let Cook order for him.
“What’s wrong?” Cook asks when David takes another silent bite of his burger.
David chews and swallows and then turns to Cook.
“Nothing,” David says but Cook knows - he can see that David is lying.
Cook doesn’t push the subject though.
--
When they get back home David grabs Cook’s hand and leads him to the bedroom. He pulls his shirt off and then helps Cook out of his.
“I want - tonight,” is all David says and then he pulls Cook on the bed.
It still doesn’t feel like now is the right time but Cook ignores that part of his brain and kisses David.
--
“I’ll call you when I land in London,” David promises and Cook tries not to cry because - well, they’re in LAX and there are about twenty paps taking pictures and he just doesn’t want his crying ass all over the internet.
“I’ll be waiting.” Cook leans in to give David a kiss, it lasts barely five seconds before David pulls away.
“See you in two months.” David gives a half smile and then Julie is pulling him to the security line.
“See you in two months,” Cook repeats quietly.
--
The drive back to his apartment is long and miserable. Cook can’t stop thinking about last night and then now when David - he just pulled away and left Cook with half a smile and ‘see you in two months’?
Cook replays the last week, he tries to pinpoint what he did, what changed, why David changed but he just keeps coming up with blanks.
All Cook knows is that David changed yesterday and Cook just let him board a plane without David knowing how he really feels.
That thought alone makes him want to go drink.
Instead he crawls into his bed, lies on David’s side and sleeps for the rest of the day.
++
“David?” Julie waves a hand in front of his face to try and get his attention. “So, when we land in London, we’ll go straight to the hotel, check-in, drop off your things and then we’re off to a CD signing!” Julie grins but David just nods.
“Okay,” David mumbles and then turns back to the window.
David can’t shake this feeling; it’s terrible and it’s stuck in the pit of his stomach, gnawing away at his insides.
It’s the this-was-set-up-and-not-real feeling. It’s forgetting everything that happened in the past week and focusing on the fact that Cook maybe never wanted him; maybe he was just playing it up for more publicity.
Maybe he was lying to David about everything because Cook knew this would help his career. Maybe everything that had happened since July 4th was a lie.
“I’m guessing you’ve clued in that this trip was planned, not just out of nowhere, huh?” Julie startles David out of his thoughts and he turns to her.
“I thought about it but I hoped it wasn’t.” David’s voice is low and Julie frowns.
“Don’t worry, the breakup will go off fine, you two have been together long enough and now it’s time to test the boundaries and people will wonder if you guys can be apart this long. You’ll both make it until September and then it’ll just be over.” Julie is trying to sound reassuring and David is grateful that she is but it’s not - it doesn’t make the situation hurt any less.
David doesn’t mention that, just politely smiles and goes back to staring out the window.
When they land, David doesn’t call Cook.
-+-
Maybe it was fate that these two were brought back together after so long, maybe it was destiny or maybe it wasn’t. The truth, though, the cold, hard truth was that David and Cook loved each other, probably more than anything they ever had loved before, but this relationship was built on a lie and David knew (and somewhere deep inside, Cook knew too) that it was going to end because they couldn’t start a relationship on a lie. But just because this part had to end didn’t mean the next part wouldn’t begin.
-+-
“Hi Cook, I’m sure you might have an idea as to why I scheduled this meeting.” The 19E rep. smiles at him, she looks far too pleased with herself and Cook almost feels like hitting her.
Cook bets she doesn’t have a soul so it probably wouldn’t even count as hitting a girl.
“No, I don’t,” Cook replies as he folds his arms across his chest.
“Well, David going to Europe wasn’t a surprise, it’s been planned since we decided to get you two together. Looks like the pretend-dating process is moving on a lot quicker than I had first imagined, which is great because that means it’s time for the breakup.” The rep. pulls out a few papers and spreads them out in front of herself, Cook’s heart drops to his stomach at her words and a loud ringing pierces his ears.
“Come again?” Cook asks, purely out of impulse than actual need for her to repeat herself.
“The breakup. Hello, earth to David Cook, you knew this was coming.” The rep. signs something and then slides it over to Cook.
“Right.” Cook nods his head; he knew this was coming, didn’t he?
Of course he knew it was coming, he was just hoping that maybe it wouldn’t be coming so soon - or maybe that when it did come, it wouldn’t hurt as much as it did right now.
“So, just sign these and in September you are a free man again.” The rep. smiles and Cook pushes the idea of throwing her out the window out of his mind and signs whatever she tells him to.
Now Cook knows why David had been acting distant and weird, it was because he knew about the trip, David knew about Europe and what it meant and he still went.
David still went.
Cook ignores the crack in his heart when he leaves the 19E building. He drives to Neal’s house and when Neal opens the door and finds his best friend looking like shit, he grabs the Jack and they drink.
And they drink.
Until all Cook can think about is how fast the floor is coming at him.
++
“David?” Julie knocks twice and then lets herself into David’s hotel room. She finds him sitting at a small table, picking apart fruit and staring at his plate. “Are you okay?” Julie asks softly.
“I think I loved him,” is what David says, then he’s grabbing his jacket and his wallet and saying, “we should probably get to the venue.”
Julie doesn’t question who ‘him’ is - she knows.
When they’re in the car and on their way to the venue David asks what’s in the folder. Julie looks at her lap and the navy folder and contemplates not telling David.
But she can’t lie to him.
“They’re papers for - for this. For the breakup.”
David nods, then he reaches over and takes the folder from her.
“Cook signed them,” David notes as he scans all three pages, his voice is flat and dull and it scares Julie because there is no emotion.
David is just blank.
“Pen, please.” David holds out a hand and Julie hesitates for a fraction of a second before giving him one, she watches with sad eyes as he signs, right beside where Cook did. “Now it’s really done.” Except it’s not.
“Almost. We still need you guys to tweet each other, you’re technically supposed to be together until the middle of September, so, you know.” Julie takes the papers back and she contemplates burning them and telling 19E to stick it where the sun don’t shine.
“Okay,” David says.
David tweets, “@TheDavidCook miss you already!” and then turns his phone off.
--
The first two weeks of August pass Cook in a drunken blur, the only time he isn’t drunk is when he’s recording or sleeping. Cook ignores everything; he ignores his phone and the Internet - especially the Internet - he ignores when David tweets at him, sweet things like I miss you and can’t wait to get back and I bought you a crossword puzzle book because Cook knows they’re all lies.
The 19E rep. called three days ago to let him know David had also signed the papers but that they needed to still be couple-y until at least the middle of September.
Almost a month, Cook has to deal with this shit for almost a month.
Cook has to deal with the fact that David lied to him, kept this from him - they could’ve - they could’ve been amazing together.
They were amazing together and then David left - he got on a plane and flew who-knew-how-many miles to Europe and left Cook.
-+-
Cook’s plan of getting drunk every chance he got wasn’t the best. It led him down dark alley’s and to people he shouldn’t be hanging around. Cook drank so much he convinced himself David had plotted this entire pretend-dating thing to get publicity from Cook, which in the grand scheme of things was above and beyond ridiculous. Cook was hurt, he was angry, and he was dealing with it in a million wrong ways when he could have been dealing with it in the one right one.
-+-
David knows it wasn’t his best, he knows that the show in London sucked, and the two in Germany and now this one - they all sucked and he knows it.
Julie knows it, 19E knows and most of all, his fans know it, and they know something is wrong. Ten sites with news of the “Likely Split Between Season 7 Idol Winner and Runner-Up” are blowing up with Cook fans and David fans and Cook and David fans.
All of them are floored; most of them don’t believe it and the rest blame Cook and his drinking. Which, what?
David scans the comments; there are dozens about Cook drinking, about him going out too much - there are pictures, Cook in bars, lots of bars with people David’s never seen before, and some are women who are latched onto Cook, heads thrown back and laughing.
David swallows around the lump in his throat and closes his laptop; he contemplates calling Cook for fifteen minutes before deciding it’s not even worth it.
If Cook is letting him go, if Cook is getting over this and really going for the breakup then David can too.
-+-
Maybe if David had dialed Cook’s number, maybe if David hadn’t kept his suspicions about this trip from Cook - maybe if David hadn’t convinced himself so entirely that Cook never loved him - things would be okay. They would be okay and they would live their happily ever after with a white picket fence, two and a half kids and a dog named Rover - maybe. But then again, when does a happily ever after work out exactly like it does in Disney movies?
-+-
September flies by even faster than August and then it’s official, September 15th, 2012 - David Archuleta and David Cook “officially” break-up and everyone freaks out.
Beth calls Cook twice a day to make sure he’s alright, to ask what happened and why? Cook wishes he could tell her why but even he doesn’t know why, not the real reason why anyway.
Julie sends someone to pick up David’s things from Cook’s apartment and fly them out to Utah with Lupe.
Lupe calls him once and asks why and for once in the past four months, he tells her the truth.
“I don’t know.”
++
“When did it happen?”
Cook takes another drink from his beer and stares at Neal.
“I was fourteen and he said it would feel -”
“No jackass, when did you fall for him?”
Neal’s tone isn’t light, it’s demanding and his eyes are staring holes into Cook’s head.
Cook is silent for a long stretch of time before he answers, right before he takes another swig of beer, “A long, long time ago.”
And Neal nods and takes a drink from his beer.
Cook ignores the way his heart beats feel like they’re getting slower, he ignores the way his eyelids get heavier and he welcomes the feel of alcohol and the numbness he knows comes with it.
-+-
It’s funny how your soulmate could be in front of you for years, someone that will be in your life forever and you don’t even realize it, maybe you don’t even really think about it because you’ve never thought about not having that person. If you’ve never thought about not having them, then you don’t really think about having them forever either. They’re just there, always there, and you both are stuck wondering when you’ll find your one true love, you’re both treading through life with this misconception that you’ll meet your soulmate somewhere unexpected and fireworks will go off and doves with fly from the Heavens.
But what’s more unexpected than what is right in front of you?
-+-
David’s Europe trip gets extended first two weeks and then two more and he doesn’t get back to the States until the beginning of November.
Instead of flying to LA, David flies to Salt Lake City, where he hugs his mother and his siblings - and even his dad.
Where David goes home to his old house, not Cook’s and where David sleeps in his old bed.
And wakes up to his mother cooking him breakfast.
++
Cook ignores the way Andy and Neal and Kyle all hint at the fact that David will officially be back in the country today, instead ditching them at the studio and going to grab a beer.
Or maybe more than one.
Whatever.
--
“I heard Cook cheated on him and he broke it off via phone call from Berlin.”
“I heard Cook was a real asshole and he hit David once and David’s manager made them break up.”
“I heard David wouldn’t put out.”
“I heard -”
Cook ignores the voices coming from the table behind him, he’s sure they don’t recognize him - no, he’s positive they don’t and he can’t blow his cover.
Not when he’s so obviously pegged as the asshole in this situation and not when he can’t tell them the truth.
Fucking contracts.
Fucking 19E.
Cook drinks all his troubles away and then stumbles into his apartment two hours later and passes out on the floor outside his bedroom. Sometime during the night he wakes up and vomits on the floor and then crawls to his bed.
++
David stays inside, mostly -he doesn’t want to go out and deal with possible paparazzi or people asking questions.
Why do they still care, anyway? It’s been over for a month now; it’s old news, over and done.
“We managed to get your old place back, furniture and everything. I guess the owner really liked how you kept up the place,” Julie tells David over coffee.
They’re supposed to be talking about songs and another album and maybe another tour in Asia, but, well - David isn’t really talking at all.
“Okay,” David replies and takes a sip of his tea.
“We’re flying you and your things back out to LA tomorrow.”
Julie wants David to say something more than ‘okay’, she wants him to yell, maybe, or be angry or sad or tell her he hates LA and dogs give him rashes - she just wants something from him.
“Okay.” David stands and walks to throw his coffee away. He gives her a small wave and then he’s gone.
“I hate my job,” Julie mutters to herself and she does, she really hates her job and 19E right now.
--
“You need to take care of yourself, you hear? I don’t want you moping around all day, every day and forgetting how beautiful life is. Promise me David James.”
Lupe lets a few tears slip out.
“I promise,” David says quietly. He’s holding back tears of his own and nodding over and over. “I promise.”
Lupe tries to give David a reassuring smile. “It’ll all get better,” she nods, and pulls David in for a hug.
David tries to believe her - he wants to believe her.
--
As soon as David gets back to his old place, the phone rings.
“Way to call as soon as you got in,” a deep voice rumbles over the line and David smiles, finding comfort in the familiar sound.
“Would you feel better if I told you I hadn’t been in long?”
David sits down on his sofa. It’s harder than Cook’s and made out of leather instead of that soft, squishy material Cook’s is made out of.
“Not really, but it would make me feel a whole lot better if you agreed to go out tonight. Dinner on me and all the venting you need.”
David smiles and picks at a loose thread on his jeans. “Yeah, okay. That sounds good.” David rips the loose thread out.
“I’ll be there at seven.” There’s a small pause, and then -
“Thanks, Benton,” David finally says, and then hangs up.
++
“Okay, enough of this ‘pity me’ bullshit, I am not coming to clean up your puke anymore and if you puke in my house again, I will put it in a bag and stick it under your pillow. Now get the fuck up, take a shower, because you smell like balls, eat some actual food, and go tell David that you want to be gay with him and have little fabulous gay babies or what-the-fuck-ever it is you guys do.”
Cook blinks slowly and stares up at Neal. He’s trying to process everything Neal’s just said but apparently he’s taking too long because before he knows it he’s being hauled out of bed and shoved towards the bathroom.
“If I have to wash you I will scrub your dick off,” Neal calls and Cook stares at him wide-eyed as he walks to the bathroom.
Thankfully, Cook still knows how to properly wash himself.
--
“Okay, you’ve been cleaned and fed and now it’s time for you to go get your man.” Neal pauses and Cook tries not to laugh. “And we’re both going to forget how gay I just sounded, or I might forget how to play guitar in the middle of a show.”
Cook’s smile only gets wider and it’s - well, it’s the first time he’s actually smiled a for real, one hundred percent honest smile in what feels like forever.
“I’d be lost without you,” Cook says, and grabs Neal’s hand.
“Do I look like boy wonder? No, I’m hairier, and meaner, and even if I were gay I wouldn’t bottom for you, so get the fuck out.” But Neal is grinning as he pushes Cook out the door.
“This is my apartment!” Cook protests.
Neal throws Cook’s keys and his wallet at him and then pushes him out of the door. “Have fun!” Neal calls before slamming it on Cook.
“But Neal, I don’t know where he is!” Cook yells through the door. He’s relieved when it opens but Neal just throws a wad of paper at his face and then slams the door again.
Cook sighs and bends down to pick the paper up; it has an address and the name of a restaurant on it. Cook doesn’t even want to know how Neal knew where David would be, or even what time David would be there.
++
“I really needed to get out, I’ve been kind of stuck inside my own head for a while.”
David smiles as the waiter fills their glasses with water and hands them menus.
“I figured.” Benton smiles and takes a sip of his water. “So, what’re you having?”
David shrugs and scans the menu. There’s nothing that he’s really wanting at the moment, nothing that he needs to have, so he decides to just go with… “The Parmesan Chicken,” David tells Benton and then sets his menu back on the table. “What about you?”
David takes a drink of water and nearly chokes on it when he - when he sees Cook come walking in the restaurant, and he’s alone so David knows - or maybe he just hopes - that Cook’s here to find him.
“I think I might get that too, the steak looks good too though. I don’t know.”
Benton is talking but David can barely hear him, his full attention is focused on Cook, wild-eyed and scanning the restaurant - and then Cook sees him.
-+-
This is when the handsome Prince comes dashing in on a white horse in full armor to save the Princess; win her back - that’s what Disney movies have taught us. But that isn’t right, is it? No, that would only happen on a farm, or during a time when horses were a bigger means of transportation.
No, what happens in real life is a lot simpler:
It’s just a man in an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jeans; he’s doesn’t have a white horse and he’s not here for a duel.
It’s just a man coming to tell another man that he loves him.
-+-
Cook’s eyes go from David to Benton and then back to David. His shoulders slump and something - something goes out in him and he turns to walk away, but David - he can’t - David gets up and runs for Cook; calls his name and asks him to stop and he doesn’t even care that people are looking; that he’s causing a scene.
“Cook.” David grabs Cook’s arm and spins him around. They’re face-to-face for the first time in months and David can see how tired Cook looks.
“Hey.” Cook tries for casual but it comes out strained.
“What are you doing here?”
Cook’s head snaps up at the unexpected voice; his eyes land on Benton and Cook watches as David lets his arm go and he assumes - Cook assumes -
“Benton, just. I need to know why he came, it’s okay.” David is speaking soft and slow, almost like he’s talking to a bear or some rabid beast and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad.
“Why did you come?” David asks but his voice is soft, not filled with anger or hate.
Cook watches as Benton steps closer to David, his eyes zoning in on the small space between them. “It was nothing - it was stupid, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have interrupted your - you.”
Cook nods to David and Benton and turns to leave again.
Benton grabs David’s arm and turns them to go back to their table, and then it clicks and David stops and pulls his arm from Benton.
“I’m not with him, you know. So you can tell me the truth.”
Cook stops, a hand on the door and he spins around.
“I thought about this moment for a long time -thought about what I’d say and how angry I would be and how I’d ask you why you lied to me; why you boarded that plane and left everything we had. I was going to yell at you and tell you how much it hurt.” Cook’s voice is low but people are looking and there’s a crowd of paps outside.
“Cook -”
“I’m not finished. I was going to come in and hurt you. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, but then I saw you; saw that tired look in your eyes, the one that matches mine, and I realized something.” Cook pauses and it feels like everyone in the restaurant is waiting for what comes next. “I realized that we had both lied to each other and we had hurt each other and I could’ve asked you not to get on that plane. I could’ve stopped you but I didn’t.”
Cook can see David crying and he knows he’s crying too.
“We both had ourselves convinced that it was all a lie, that it wasn’t love, not really, because our relationship had started with a lie and that was what we had known going into it and it wasn’t - it was so hard to convince myself that it was real and forever and that you and me? That’s the truth. Just us.” Cook wipes at his face and swallows thickly.
David is still standing just a few feet from him, his eyes red, and Cook can see frown lines around his mouth and he wants to kiss them away.
Cook blinks, and then David is there; he’s there and he’s gripping onto Cook, they’re both holding on tight.
“I love you, I love you so much, and I’m sorry - I know I should’ve stayed, I know -”
“I love you too.”
Cook hugs him closer and he’s not going to let David go.
Not this time.
-+-
So maybe the happily ever after isn’t riding into the sunset with Prince Charming and a white horse, maybe it’s not getting a marriage proposal, maybe it’s not finding a new and better life - maybe the happily ever after is finally getting what you’ve wanted for so long.
-+-
the end
ON TO DELETED SCENES/ALT ENDING
“Hey,” Cook says softly as he walks into the spare room. He’s got a pile of his clothes in his hands and his pajama’s on, David looks up from where he’s folding his own clothes and smiles.
“Tonight went well,” David whispers. He’s not exactly sure why but he feels like he should be whispering.
“Yeah,” Cook replies.
A heavy silence falls over them but for the first time in two days, it isn’t awkward, it’s just - silence.
David shuffles to his suitcase and puts his newly folded clothes in it and then stands at the foot of the bed.
“Which side do you want?” Cook asks, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Um, right” David bites his lip and blushes a tiny bit.
“Alright.” Cook goes to shut the door, giving gives David a second to crawl into bed and get situated before turning the light off and fumbling his way to his side of the bed. When Cook gets under the covers, his leg bumps David’s and then David elbows him in the stomach.
“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” David rolls over and his hands reach out to make sure he didn’t seriously injure Cook - but David’s hands are a little too low and they end up brushing against Cook’s crotch. David flushes and quickly pulls his hands back when he realizes what he’s just done.
“I’m good,” Cook says but his voice is strained and David is now convinced he’s actually hurt Cook.
“No, your voice is strained, oh my heck I totally hurt you.” David is still on his side, staring at Cook - or trying to because it’s really dark and David can’t see much of anything.
“Trust me, that isn’t why my voice is strained.” Cook says the words so bluntly that it leaves David speechless for a minute.
“Oh,” David finally says, when he finds his voice and then - his - and he’s getting hard because he knows what Cook means.
“Yeah. I should just sleep on the floor.” Cook rolls over and is about to get out of bed when -
“Wait!” David reaches out and grabs (what he hopes is) Cook’s arm and stops Cook from getting up. “It’s okay.” David’s voice is a little breathless and it takes Cook a minute to process what he’s just said but when he does, Cook rolls over back on his back and David lets his hand fall from his arm.
“Okay,” Cook says, very quietly and takes a deep breath.
“Um.” David is still looking in Cook’s direction and he really wishes the light were on so he could see Cook’s face. “I - can - um.” David can’t put together the sentence he so badly wants to say and something tightens in his stomach when he thinks about - about what he wants to do with Cook right now.
Cook doesn’t move, doesn’t even say anything and David pauses and thinks really hard about what he wants.
And then he reaches out and finds Cook’s hand.
Cook jumps when David grabs it and David can hear Cook’s head turning on the pillow, facing him and it makes David blush so hard.
“I - I um.” David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then he squeezes Cook’s hand and brings it to his crotch, pressing Cook’s hand down on his hard on. “I want,” David gasps outs, his tongue darts out to wet his lips and his throat is so dry.
“You want?” Cook repeats and David lets go of Cook’s hand but it doesn’t move, it just presses down, and David reaches out to grab a fistful of sheets in each hand, his head feels so fuzzy.
“Yes,” David pants out as Cook keeps rubbing him. The feeling is intense and David feels so hot, he’s sweating everywhere and the fire in his stomach is burning hotter than it ever has.
Cook doesn’t wait for David to elaborate, doesn’t wait for him to change his mind, doesn’t even wait half a second before he’s on top of David, crushing their mouths together.
David lets out an embarrassing moan. His back arches up into Cook and his hands pull at the sheets, tugging as hard as he can.
Cook’s hands are everywhere, on his face, his chest, his legs, his arms - and then Cook is pulling David up so he can take his shirt off and David wants to be embarrassed, wants to hide his body but he doesn’t because - because this is Cook.
And David is pretty sure he loves Cook. Like, forever love.
++
Cook is - he can’t think because he’s on top of a half-naked David Archuleta, kissing him and grinding their dicks together and it’s real - it’s not a dream - this is real life.
It’s unreal, it’s unbelievably hot, it’s got Cook so riled up and he just wants to take David now, he wants to make love to him - he wants it all.
But he knows tonight isn’t the night. Not here, not now.
So he just keeps grinding down into David, lining their dicks up and rubbing and creating such delicious friction.
Cook pulls away from David’s mouth and trails his lips down to David’s neck, lightly sucking at the sensitive skin and grinning when David’s breath catches in his throat and David’s hips stutter against Cook’s. Cook sucks at the same spot and this time David’s hands grip at Cook’s shoulders and Cook knows, he knows he’s just found David’s weak spot.
“Oh, please.” David’s voice is quiet, coming out in an almost-whisper.
“Please what?” Cook asks against David’s neck, kissing down until he hits David’s collarbone. Cook knows David doesn’t know what he’s asking for, he knows David has no clue what he’s doing and all David can think is please and want.
“Please.” David’s hands squeeze Cook’s shoulders and his head falls back against the pillows when Cook takes one of David’s nipples into his mouth. “Oh gosh, oh my.” David lets out a moan, louder than the others and Cook bites David’s nipple softly.
“You’re going to get us caught,” Cook teases but David just lets out a whine and pushes his chest up to Cook’s face. Cook laughs but gets the hint and goes to David’s other nipple, giving it the same teasing.
“Ngghh.” David’s legs fall open and Cook fits easily between them; the simple gesture turns him on more than anything else ever has.
“These need to be off.” Cook says as he pulls away from David’s chest, he tugs at David’s pajama pants and the younger man doesn’t even hesitate, just lifts his hips and lets Cook take his boxers and pants off. Cook wishes the light was on, he wishes he could see David’s face, wishes he could see David.
Cook reaches out to stroke David, a barely-there touch and David’s hips snap up and he whimpers.
“Holy shit.” Cook mumbles as he strokes David more firmly. David is thick and he’s - well, he’s a lot bigger than Cook expected.
“Don’t swear,” David scolds in between gasps.
“Sorry. Let me make it up to you.” Cook doesn’t even give David a second to catch his breath or even clue into what Cook is about to do - he just leans down and sucks David into his mouth.
David arches off the bed, a loud moan ripping from his throat and his hands fly to Cook’s hair, tugging hard but not trying to stop him.
Cook grins around his mouthful of David and then sucks down as far as he can. Cook can feel David’s toes curling on his leg and it makes him smile, makes him want to make this the best blow job David will ever get.
++
There’s ringing in David’s ears, his head feels like it’s stuffed with cotton and his stomach is burning so hot - it’s all so good, too good, almost.
Cook is - he’s sucking on him and it feels like - Cook’s mouth feels like a wet furnace and it’s so beyond anything David could ever dream up or fantasize.
David lets go of Cook’s hair and stretches his hands above his head, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with them so he just grips the headboard as hard as he can and tries not to come too early.
Cook pulls off David and strokes him once, twice and then asks, “are you holding the headboard?”
David’s hips twitch and his tongue darts out to lick his lips again. “Yeah,” David replies.
“Jesus. You don’t even - you are so hot.” Cook lets out a breathless laugh and then leans back down to plant kisses along David’s thighs and everywhere around where David wants him to kiss most.
++
“Please,” David begs and Cook can’t - he can’t deny David anything when he begs so he lets his mouth find David and sucks, hard.
David chokes on a moan and Cook takes this as a perfect opportunity to hum, as loud as he can, around the head of David’s dick and that’s all it takes - David’s body seizes, his hips snap up (and Cook is almost sure he hears wood snapping) and then David is coming. Cook takes as much as he can in his mouth; only a little dribbles out and down his chin, and he wipes that off with his arm.
“Um,” David says, his voice rough and his body spent, lying limp on the bed. “Wait - you haven’t -” David goes to sit up but Cook pushes him back down.
“You don’t have too.” Cook reaches down and jerks himself off, and it only takes three strokes before he’s coming, too. “Next time,” Cook pants out as he wipes a hand on the sheets and crawls up the bed until he’s lying face-to-face with David.
“Next time,” David echoes and even though Cook can’t see it, he knows David is smiling.
--
The rest of the weekend goes by quickly. David’s mom and siblings come the next day and David blushes when Lupe and Beth fawn over Cook and him and he fights Amber and Jazzy off Cook when they ask him to sing songs from ‘The Little Mermaid” and “Aladdin”.
They all decide to go out for a picnic Sunday afternoon, and they join at least a hundred other families at the park - everything is decorated in red, blue and white and there are flags at every corner.
David sits half in Cook’s lap the entire picnic, except for when they get up to play Frisbee with Andrew, Jazzy, Amber and Daniel. They cuddle when the fireworks go off high above them and David feels like maybe this could be - maybe it could be real.
--
When they get back, Cook is called into the studio to do more work on his album and Julie calls David the second he gets back into LA and tells him he’s going to Europe for two months in one week.
“Two months?” Cook asks as they brush their teeth.
David nods and leans over the sink to spit out the last of the toothpaste in his mouth.
“Yeah.” David dries his mouth and leaves the bathroom - he doesn’t want to leave for two months. Cook and him just started really getting into this, they just - it just started getting real and now he was being sent off.
Something heavy settled in David’s stomach and he had a feeling this wasn’t a surprise trip as Julie had said.
In fact, David’s starting to think this is part of the whole fake-dating-then-breakup plan. It makes him want to cry and tell Julie he’s not leaving Cook.
--
“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll call and text and Skype. It’ll be fine.” Cook and David are lying in bed; Cook is running his fingers through David’s hair and lightly massaging his scalp.
“Yeah, but it just - I just - I don’t want to leave right now.” David ignores the part of his brain that is screaming at him to tell Cook why he thinks he’s being forced on this trip.
David doesn’t want to ruin this yet though, not while it’s still so good. David will just wait, yeah; he’ll give it a week or two.
Or ten.
“So hey, I think you owe me something.” Cook’s voice is low and his fingers have moved from David’s head to his neck and then his back.
David laughs when Cook rolls on top of him, his laughter dies down when Cook kisses him stupid, though.
--
“Wait, stop. Cooook!” David laughs and tries to hide his face when Cook comes into the room with a video camera.
“Say hi to the camera, Arch.” Cook is smiling fondly at David; he walks up to the edge of the bed and watches David through the screen on the video camera.
“Cook, oh my gosh, don’t even put this on your computer because someone will find it and everything will just - it’ll all blow up.”
Cook laughs loudly and then kneels on the bed.
“Don’t worry, it’s strictly for ‘when you’re away and I get lonely’ purposes only.” Cook winks and watches as David turns a pretty shade of red. “How about you show some more skin.” Cook bites back a grin and has to duck when a pillow comes flying at him.
Cook abandons the camera at the end of the bed; the lens pointing towards David and then him when he jumps on David, attacking him with kisses and bites.
The video camera then catches a lot more than short kisses and soft bites.
--
“No, I am filming you for the next week until you leave.”
David glares at Cook and the video camera and chops up some more carrots.
“I’ll break that.” David says very seriously, lifting the chopping knife and wagging it at the camera. The camera shakes when Cook laughs.
“Marry me?” Cook asks and David blushes and scoops the carrots up.
“Where’s my ring?” David asks as he starts chopping up an onion and Cook is pretty sure he is going to marry David.
--
David is nearly finished dinner when Cook comes wandering back into the kitchen, video camera out of hand and David feels a small sense of relief.
“Smells good,” Cook says as he walks up behind David. He leans over David’s shoulder to see what he’s stirring.
“It’s healthy too.” David smiles and Cook pokes at his hips, making David jump and almost fling carrots out of the pan.
“I could get used to this,” Cook says into David’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around David’s waist.
They don’t talk about how David is leaving for Europe in two days.
--
“And here, we have David showering,” Cook says quietly into the camera, then he slowly opens the bathroom door. He’s met with steam and David singing Waiting on the World to Change’. Cook bites back a laugh and creeps closer to the shower; he rips the curtain open and shouts, “say hi, Archie!” David jumps and turns to Cook, his hair is lathered with shampoo and his eyes are bugged out so far Cook is sure this will be the day they fall out.
David pushes at the camera and pulls the shower curtain back. “I hate you.” Cook hears as he leaves the bathroom laughing.
--
“We should go out, since it’s your last night in town for two months.”
Cook laces his fingers with David’s and David sighs against Cook’s chest.
“Don’t remind me,” David says miserably.
“In-N-Out?” Cook suggests and he can feel David’s smile on his chest. “We probably should put proper clothes on first, don’t want the paps getting pictures of things they shouldn’t.”
David laughs but it dies when he remembers the paparazzi.
And the fact that this is all pretend, or it’s supposed to be. David pushes the words publicity and fake to the back of his mind and goes to throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
++
Cook’s concerned. They’re sitting in his car in the parking lot of In-N-Out and David has been quiet since they had left the apartment, he even let Cook order for him.
“What’s wrong?” Cook asks when David takes another silent bite of his burger.
David chews and swallows and then turns to Cook.
“Nothing,” David says but Cook knows - he can see that David is lying.
Cook doesn’t push the subject though.
--
When they get back home David grabs Cook’s hand and leads him to the bedroom. He pulls his shirt off and then helps Cook out of his.
“I want - tonight,” is all David says and then he pulls Cook on the bed.
It still doesn’t feel like now is the right time but Cook ignores that part of his brain and kisses David.
--
“I’ll call you when I land in London,” David promises and Cook tries not to cry because - well, they’re in LAX and there are about twenty paps taking pictures and he just doesn’t want his crying ass all over the internet.
“I’ll be waiting.” Cook leans in to give David a kiss, it lasts barely five seconds before David pulls away.
“See you in two months.” David gives a half smile and then Julie is pulling him to the security line.
“See you in two months,” Cook repeats quietly.
--
The drive back to his apartment is long and miserable. Cook can’t stop thinking about last night and then now when David - he just pulled away and left Cook with half a smile and ‘see you in two months’?
Cook replays the last week, he tries to pinpoint what he did, what changed, why David changed but he just keeps coming up with blanks.
All Cook knows is that David changed yesterday and Cook just let him board a plane without David knowing how he really feels.
That thought alone makes him want to go drink.
Instead he crawls into his bed, lies on David’s side and sleeps for the rest of the day.
++
“David?” Julie waves a hand in front of his face to try and get his attention. “So, when we land in London, we’ll go straight to the hotel, check-in, drop off your things and then we’re off to a CD signing!” Julie grins but David just nods.
“Okay,” David mumbles and then turns back to the window.
David can’t shake this feeling; it’s terrible and it’s stuck in the pit of his stomach, gnawing away at his insides.
It’s the this-was-set-up-and-not-real feeling. It’s forgetting everything that happened in the past week and focusing on the fact that Cook maybe never wanted him; maybe he was just playing it up for more publicity.
Maybe he was lying to David about everything because Cook knew this would help his career. Maybe everything that had happened since July 4th was a lie.
“I’m guessing you’ve clued in that this trip was planned, not just out of nowhere, huh?” Julie startles David out of his thoughts and he turns to her.
“I thought about it but I hoped it wasn’t.” David’s voice is low and Julie frowns.
“Don’t worry, the breakup will go off fine, you two have been together long enough and now it’s time to test the boundaries and people will wonder if you guys can be apart this long. You’ll both make it until September and then it’ll just be over.” Julie is trying to sound reassuring and David is grateful that she is but it’s not - it doesn’t make the situation hurt any less.
David doesn’t mention that, just politely smiles and goes back to staring out the window.
When they land, David doesn’t call Cook.
-+-
Maybe it was fate that these two were brought back together after so long, maybe it was destiny or maybe it wasn’t. The truth, though, the cold, hard truth was that David and Cook loved each other, probably more than anything they ever had loved before, but this relationship was built on a lie and David knew (and somewhere deep inside, Cook knew too) that it was going to end because they couldn’t start a relationship on a lie. But just because this part had to end didn’t mean the next part wouldn’t begin.
-+-
“Hi Cook, I’m sure you might have an idea as to why I scheduled this meeting.” The 19E rep. smiles at him, she looks far too pleased with herself and Cook almost feels like hitting her.
Cook bets she doesn’t have a soul so it probably wouldn’t even count as hitting a girl.
“No, I don’t,” Cook replies as he folds his arms across his chest.
“Well, David going to Europe wasn’t a surprise, it’s been planned since we decided to get you two together. Looks like the pretend-dating process is moving on a lot quicker than I had first imagined, which is great because that means it’s time for the breakup.” The rep. pulls out a few papers and spreads them out in front of herself, Cook’s heart drops to his stomach at her words and a loud ringing pierces his ears.
“Come again?” Cook asks, purely out of impulse than actual need for her to repeat herself.
“The breakup. Hello, earth to David Cook, you knew this was coming.” The rep. signs something and then slides it over to Cook.
“Right.” Cook nods his head; he knew this was coming, didn’t he?
Of course he knew it was coming, he was just hoping that maybe it wouldn’t be coming so soon - or maybe that when it did come, it wouldn’t hurt as much as it did right now.
“So, just sign these and in September you are a free man again.” The rep. smiles and Cook pushes the idea of throwing her out the window out of his mind and signs whatever she tells him to.
Now Cook knows why David had been acting distant and weird, it was because he knew about the trip, David knew about Europe and what it meant and he still went.
David still went.
Cook ignores the crack in his heart when he leaves the 19E building. He drives to Neal’s house and when Neal opens the door and finds his best friend looking like shit, he grabs the Jack and they drink.
And they drink.
Until all Cook can think about is how fast the floor is coming at him.
++
“David?” Julie knocks twice and then lets herself into David’s hotel room. She finds him sitting at a small table, picking apart fruit and staring at his plate. “Are you okay?” Julie asks softly.
“I think I loved him,” is what David says, then he’s grabbing his jacket and his wallet and saying, “we should probably get to the venue.”
Julie doesn’t question who ‘him’ is - she knows.
When they’re in the car and on their way to the venue David asks what’s in the folder. Julie looks at her lap and the navy folder and contemplates not telling David.
But she can’t lie to him.
“They’re papers for - for this. For the breakup.”
David nods, then he reaches over and takes the folder from her.
“Cook signed them,” David notes as he scans all three pages, his voice is flat and dull and it scares Julie because there is no emotion.
David is just blank.
“Pen, please.” David holds out a hand and Julie hesitates for a fraction of a second before giving him one, she watches with sad eyes as he signs, right beside where Cook did. “Now it’s really done.” Except it’s not.
“Almost. We still need you guys to tweet each other, you’re technically supposed to be together until the middle of September, so, you know.” Julie takes the papers back and she contemplates burning them and telling 19E to stick it where the sun don’t shine.
“Okay,” David says.
David tweets, “@TheDavidCook miss you already!” and then turns his phone off.
--
The first two weeks of August pass Cook in a drunken blur, the only time he isn’t drunk is when he’s recording or sleeping. Cook ignores everything; he ignores his phone and the Internet - especially the Internet - he ignores when David tweets at him, sweet things like I miss you and can’t wait to get back and I bought you a crossword puzzle book because Cook knows they’re all lies.
The 19E rep. called three days ago to let him know David had also signed the papers but that they needed to still be couple-y until at least the middle of September.
Almost a month, Cook has to deal with this shit for almost a month.
Cook has to deal with the fact that David lied to him, kept this from him - they could’ve - they could’ve been amazing together.
They were amazing together and then David left - he got on a plane and flew who-knew-how-many miles to Europe and left Cook.
-+-
Cook’s plan of getting drunk every chance he got wasn’t the best. It led him down dark alley’s and to people he shouldn’t be hanging around. Cook drank so much he convinced himself David had plotted this entire pretend-dating thing to get publicity from Cook, which in the grand scheme of things was above and beyond ridiculous. Cook was hurt, he was angry, and he was dealing with it in a million wrong ways when he could have been dealing with it in the one right one.
-+-
David knows it wasn’t his best, he knows that the show in London sucked, and the two in Germany and now this one - they all sucked and he knows it.
Julie knows it, 19E knows and most of all, his fans know it, and they know something is wrong. Ten sites with news of the “Likely Split Between Season 7 Idol Winner and Runner-Up” are blowing up with Cook fans and David fans and Cook and David fans.
All of them are floored; most of them don’t believe it and the rest blame Cook and his drinking. Which, what?
David scans the comments; there are dozens about Cook drinking, about him going out too much - there are pictures, Cook in bars, lots of bars with people David’s never seen before, and some are women who are latched onto Cook, heads thrown back and laughing.
David swallows around the lump in his throat and closes his laptop; he contemplates calling Cook for fifteen minutes before deciding it’s not even worth it.
If Cook is letting him go, if Cook is getting over this and really going for the breakup then David can too.
-+-
Maybe if David had dialed Cook’s number, maybe if David hadn’t kept his suspicions about this trip from Cook - maybe if David hadn’t convinced himself so entirely that Cook never loved him - things would be okay. They would be okay and they would live their happily ever after with a white picket fence, two and a half kids and a dog named Rover - maybe. But then again, when does a happily ever after work out exactly like it does in Disney movies?
-+-
September flies by even faster than August and then it’s official, September 15th, 2012 - David Archuleta and David Cook “officially” break-up and everyone freaks out.
Beth calls Cook twice a day to make sure he’s alright, to ask what happened and why? Cook wishes he could tell her why but even he doesn’t know why, not the real reason why anyway.
Julie sends someone to pick up David’s things from Cook’s apartment and fly them out to Utah with Lupe.
Lupe calls him once and asks why and for once in the past four months, he tells her the truth.
“I don’t know.”
++
“When did it happen?”
Cook takes another drink from his beer and stares at Neal.
“I was fourteen and he said it would feel -”
“No jackass, when did you fall for him?”
Neal’s tone isn’t light, it’s demanding and his eyes are staring holes into Cook’s head.
Cook is silent for a long stretch of time before he answers, right before he takes another swig of beer, “A long, long time ago.”
And Neal nods and takes a drink from his beer.
Cook ignores the way his heart beats feel like they’re getting slower, he ignores the way his eyelids get heavier and he welcomes the feel of alcohol and the numbness he knows comes with it.
-+-
It’s funny how your soulmate could be in front of you for years, someone that will be in your life forever and you don’t even realize it, maybe you don’t even really think about it because you’ve never thought about not having that person. If you’ve never thought about not having them, then you don’t really think about having them forever either. They’re just there, always there, and you both are stuck wondering when you’ll find your one true love, you’re both treading through life with this misconception that you’ll meet your soulmate somewhere unexpected and fireworks will go off and doves with fly from the Heavens.
But what’s more unexpected than what is right in front of you?
-+-
David’s Europe trip gets extended first two weeks and then two more and he doesn’t get back to the States until the beginning of November.
Instead of flying to LA, David flies to Salt Lake City, where he hugs his mother and his siblings - and even his dad.
Where David goes home to his old house, not Cook’s and where David sleeps in his old bed.
And wakes up to his mother cooking him breakfast.
++
Cook ignores the way Andy and Neal and Kyle all hint at the fact that David will officially be back in the country today, instead ditching them at the studio and going to grab a beer.
Or maybe more than one.
Whatever.
--
“I heard Cook cheated on him and he broke it off via phone call from Berlin.”
“I heard Cook was a real asshole and he hit David once and David’s manager made them break up.”
“I heard David wouldn’t put out.”
“I heard -”
Cook ignores the voices coming from the table behind him, he’s sure they don’t recognize him - no, he’s positive they don’t and he can’t blow his cover.
Not when he’s so obviously pegged as the asshole in this situation and not when he can’t tell them the truth.
Fucking contracts.
Fucking 19E.
Cook drinks all his troubles away and then stumbles into his apartment two hours later and passes out on the floor outside his bedroom. Sometime during the night he wakes up and vomits on the floor and then crawls to his bed.
++
David stays inside, mostly -he doesn’t want to go out and deal with possible paparazzi or people asking questions.
Why do they still care, anyway? It’s been over for a month now; it’s old news, over and done.
“We managed to get your old place back, furniture and everything. I guess the owner really liked how you kept up the place,” Julie tells David over coffee.
They’re supposed to be talking about songs and another album and maybe another tour in Asia, but, well - David isn’t really talking at all.
“Okay,” David replies and takes a sip of his tea.
“We’re flying you and your things back out to LA tomorrow.”
Julie wants David to say something more than ‘okay’, she wants him to yell, maybe, or be angry or sad or tell her he hates LA and dogs give him rashes - she just wants something from him.
“Okay.” David stands and walks to throw his coffee away. He gives her a small wave and then he’s gone.
“I hate my job,” Julie mutters to herself and she does, she really hates her job and 19E right now.
--
“You need to take care of yourself, you hear? I don’t want you moping around all day, every day and forgetting how beautiful life is. Promise me David James.”
Lupe lets a few tears slip out.
“I promise,” David says quietly. He’s holding back tears of his own and nodding over and over. “I promise.”
Lupe tries to give David a reassuring smile. “It’ll all get better,” she nods, and pulls David in for a hug.
David tries to believe her - he wants to believe her.
--
As soon as David gets back to his old place, the phone rings.
“Way to call as soon as you got in,” a deep voice rumbles over the line and David smiles, finding comfort in the familiar sound.
“Would you feel better if I told you I hadn’t been in long?”
David sits down on his sofa. It’s harder than Cook’s and made out of leather instead of that soft, squishy material Cook’s is made out of.
“Not really, but it would make me feel a whole lot better if you agreed to go out tonight. Dinner on me and all the venting you need.”
David smiles and picks at a loose thread on his jeans. “Yeah, okay. That sounds good.” David rips the loose thread out.
“I’ll be there at seven.” There’s a small pause, and then -
“Thanks, Benton,” David finally says, and then hangs up.
++
“Okay, enough of this ‘pity me’ bullshit, I am not coming to clean up your puke anymore and if you puke in my house again, I will put it in a bag and stick it under your pillow. Now get the fuck up, take a shower, because you smell like balls, eat some actual food, and go tell David that you want to be gay with him and have little fabulous gay babies or what-the-fuck-ever it is you guys do.”
Cook blinks slowly and stares up at Neal. He’s trying to process everything Neal’s just said but apparently he’s taking too long because before he knows it he’s being hauled out of bed and shoved towards the bathroom.
“If I have to wash you I will scrub your dick off,” Neal calls and Cook stares at him wide-eyed as he walks to the bathroom.
Thankfully, Cook still knows how to properly wash himself.
--
“Okay, you’ve been cleaned and fed and now it’s time for you to go get your man.” Neal pauses and Cook tries not to laugh. “And we’re both going to forget how gay I just sounded, or I might forget how to play guitar in the middle of a show.”
Cook’s smile only gets wider and it’s - well, it’s the first time he’s actually smiled a for real, one hundred percent honest smile in what feels like forever.
“I’d be lost without you,” Cook says, and grabs Neal’s hand.
“Do I look like boy wonder? No, I’m hairier, and meaner, and even if I were gay I wouldn’t bottom for you, so get the fuck out.” But Neal is grinning as he pushes Cook out the door.
“This is my apartment!” Cook protests.
Neal throws Cook’s keys and his wallet at him and then pushes him out of the door. “Have fun!” Neal calls before slamming it on Cook.
“But Neal, I don’t know where he is!” Cook yells through the door. He’s relieved when it opens but Neal just throws a wad of paper at his face and then slams the door again.
Cook sighs and bends down to pick the paper up; it has an address and the name of a restaurant on it. Cook doesn’t even want to know how Neal knew where David would be, or even what time David would be there.
++
“I really needed to get out, I’ve been kind of stuck inside my own head for a while.”
David smiles as the waiter fills their glasses with water and hands them menus.
“I figured.” Benton smiles and takes a sip of his water. “So, what’re you having?”
David shrugs and scans the menu. There’s nothing that he’s really wanting at the moment, nothing that he needs to have, so he decides to just go with… “The Parmesan Chicken,” David tells Benton and then sets his menu back on the table. “What about you?”
David takes a drink of water and nearly chokes on it when he - when he sees Cook come walking in the restaurant, and he’s alone so David knows - or maybe he just hopes - that Cook’s here to find him.
“I think I might get that too, the steak looks good too though. I don’t know.”
Benton is talking but David can barely hear him, his full attention is focused on Cook, wild-eyed and scanning the restaurant - and then Cook sees him.
-+-
This is when the handsome Prince comes dashing in on a white horse in full armor to save the Princess; win her back - that’s what Disney movies have taught us. But that isn’t right, is it? No, that would only happen on a farm, or during a time when horses were a bigger means of transportation.
No, what happens in real life is a lot simpler:
It’s just a man in an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jeans; he’s doesn’t have a white horse and he’s not here for a duel.
It’s just a man coming to tell another man that he loves him.
-+-
Cook’s eyes go from David to Benton and then back to David. His shoulders slump and something - something goes out in him and he turns to walk away, but David - he can’t - David gets up and runs for Cook; calls his name and asks him to stop and he doesn’t even care that people are looking; that he’s causing a scene.
“Cook.” David grabs Cook’s arm and spins him around. They’re face-to-face for the first time in months and David can see how tired Cook looks.
“Hey.” Cook tries for casual but it comes out strained.
“What are you doing here?”
Cook’s head snaps up at the unexpected voice; his eyes land on Benton and Cook watches as David lets his arm go and he assumes - Cook assumes -
“Benton, just. I need to know why he came, it’s okay.” David is speaking soft and slow, almost like he’s talking to a bear or some rabid beast and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad.
“Why did you come?” David asks but his voice is soft, not filled with anger or hate.
Cook watches as Benton steps closer to David, his eyes zoning in on the small space between them. “It was nothing - it was stupid, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have interrupted your - you.”
Cook nods to David and Benton and turns to leave again.
Benton grabs David’s arm and turns them to go back to their table, and then it clicks and David stops and pulls his arm from Benton.
“I’m not with him, you know. So you can tell me the truth.”
Cook stops, a hand on the door and he spins around.
“I thought about this moment for a long time -thought about what I’d say and how angry I would be and how I’d ask you why you lied to me; why you boarded that plane and left everything we had. I was going to yell at you and tell you how much it hurt.” Cook’s voice is low but people are looking and there’s a crowd of paps outside.
“Cook -”
“I’m not finished. I was going to come in and hurt you. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, but then I saw you; saw that tired look in your eyes, the one that matches mine, and I realized something.” Cook pauses and it feels like everyone in the restaurant is waiting for what comes next. “I realized that we had both lied to each other and we had hurt each other and I could’ve asked you not to get on that plane. I could’ve stopped you but I didn’t.”
Cook can see David crying and he knows he’s crying too.
“We both had ourselves convinced that it was all a lie, that it wasn’t love, not really, because our relationship had started with a lie and that was what we had known going into it and it wasn’t - it was so hard to convince myself that it was real and forever and that you and me? That’s the truth. Just us.” Cook wipes at his face and swallows thickly.
David is still standing just a few feet from him, his eyes red, and Cook can see frown lines around his mouth and he wants to kiss them away.
Cook blinks, and then David is there; he’s there and he’s gripping onto Cook, they’re both holding on tight.
“I love you, I love you so much, and I’m sorry - I know I should’ve stayed, I know -”
“I love you too.”
Cook hugs him closer and he’s not going to let David go.
Not this time.
-+-
So maybe the happily ever after isn’t riding into the sunset with Prince Charming and a white horse, maybe it’s not getting a marriage proposal, maybe it’s not finding a new and better life - maybe the happily ever after is finally getting what you’ve wanted for so long.
-+-
the end
ON TO DELETED SCENES/ALT ENDING