hey look LJ!
Im posting!...with something interesting? no of course not, silly journal...anyway
so Ive been feeling really anxious for some reason. Either anxious or frustrated, it kinda depends. Like I feel anxious to the point that my stomach starts to turn and I start to worry, this isnt anything excately new of course. So it seems to work last time with me just rambleing on and on so lets see if it works again.
Well lets see here...its 2 (main) things really, work would be one. I dont know about my job sometimes. I like it and it can be great, like today wasnt that bad, compared to yesterday (dear god!). But its like I had said in my last journal, my bosses are so weird with their moods that sometimes they really do make it hard to work there. And not to mention that a few of my co-workers have already up and left, leaving us short handed than we already where. I feel like I spend all of my time there (...and I do?). Its like automatic, I wake up, I go to work, come home, do stuff, sleep and do it again. Its like this vicious cycle and I dont realize it until I get home and then it sorta eats away at me. I would personally love to ask for either some time off or less hours..problem with these 2 things: 1 I cant really take time off cause I'll need that time for when I go to akon..and 2 I cant ask for less hours cause...well im like one out of the 3 people that work full time and the money is good and....eh I dont know. It would just be nice sometimes to be able to wake up and realize that I used to have a life outside of work...or something? I know I wasted alot of time on the computer but at least I had time for art, friends, costumes, and other such fun things! But of course without work means no pay check and without a pay check I cant do said fun things. And because this goes round and round I get mad cause I dont know what to do and then I go to work and try to forget about it before I have to do it again....eh.
see?
second thing is- and this is really odd for me..but if you havent heard I got a dog! Yep thats right I finally have my own dog. His name is Lance and he's a standard poodle...yeah I know huh? Me! With a poodle! He's a sweet boy so im not complaining and he's probably about 3 or 4 years old, I got him from a foster home and he's been a great dog..well sorta. His problem is that hes not nutered so he likes to 'mark' around the house. Problem number 2, he's smart..really freakin smart! He's learned how to open the gate downstairs to get to my room. Now what could be the problem with that? I didnt excately what him in my room, this is where Tre's is after all and I feel like since she was here first that she shouldnt have someone else moving in on 'her room'..but still...The thing is this dog as ive found is very needy. All he wants is to be with me and while I dont mind it I do. Im not used to haveing a pet that wanted to be around me ALL THE TIME. Its cute right now actually..he's sleeping on my bed..oh and thats another thing, he apparently loves sleeping on my bed. He'll sleep on the floor no problem but if you say 'up' he's on the bed before you finish the word. I dont know why but I guess im just not used to haveing a dog atm..specially a big one like him (looong legs!). My family is the other thing that weirds me out..dad said I could have a dog and I found one...I brought him home and everyone seemed to have mixed opinions about him but over all they got along. But what seems weird is that they go on about how they like him but when I get home in the afternoon they like...give me these looks, or act weird around me and seem almost spiteful towards him and/or me. I dont know what it is! Did I do something wrong? I thought I did the good thing giving this dog a home, he was already trained and social and everything that he needed to know!....so why do i feel uneasy about having him? He's done nothing wrong and he's a very sweet dog....I mean granted I felt like this too when we got Tre's so I figure this is just something that I need to adjust too (cause we all know how I do with that! ha haaaa!)
another thing that aggervating me is my Shiny Umbreon costume. Ive been trying to fix it up and its comming along well for the most part. I redid the feet today, covered them with fur instead of crafting foam and made the paw pads out of sandals so they wont get torn up. I didnt cut them in half so they're a little tall, but I walked around the house, jumped, 'ran', and posed and over all theyre staying in place and I have balance. Yeah it feels kinda weird and I should probably cut them in half but it doesnt bother me too much. I guess Jess and I will have to take them out on a 'field test' to see how they hold up and to see if I need to cut them down or something.
*sighs* I just feel really anxious its making me sick..like right now. :\
But you know there is one good thing that did happen. Ani's package and all the wonderful gifts that she sent me....I cant even begin to describe how wonderful it was <3
maybe I just need sleep..yeah that could defintely be it!