Off to post the second part of my drabble series :) Same thing applies: it's a collection of 'insert-your-name/pairing' fics that I made a while back from various quotes that I got from my friends and classmates through text. Still using the quotes as titles for their respective drabbles. Enjoy~ :)
08. Have you ever thought why I stayed?
Have you ever thought why I stayed? Did it ever cross your mind why I kept up with the continuous emotional turmoil that I am sure to go through whenever I'm with you? Didn't you just even wonder why I chose to stay being friends with you even if I knew that you and I don't stand a chance of being together? Or are you just blissfully stupid enough to realize that maybe, just maybe, that deep down I'm still clinging to ana imaginary chance that I think I have?
You smile at me like nothing happened, you talk to me like I didn't confess and you didn't shoot me down. I know I told you to just forget what I said, but what you're doing is already selective amnesia; you openly make everyone feel that I do have a chance, and I fell nothing but humiliation. Humiliated by the fact that you're using my feelings and the confession I made to you for whatever purpose you have in mind, and humiliated by the fact that I still want to believe everything that you're saying.
So please, try to think about my feelings for just a bit. It wouldn't hurt using your head and common sense, since you're supposed to be this smart and beautiful person that I fell in love with in the first place. If we really are friends, you wouldn't do this. Friends don't hurt each other on purpose, right?
I still like you, but not like before. Although I admit that I still want to hope, seeing you happy may be enough for me. But please, I'm not an object made for your entertainment. If you want a hobby, go to a toy store. I want to be the reason for your happiness, not just some passing fancy that you'll soon forget. If you could be happy with him, then so be it. Just... don't use me to your advantage. I'm not a card to be played in one of your games. I deserve fair competition like everyone else.
...I just don't want this feeling of liking you be replaced by the feeling of hating you for the rest of my existence...
09. She's finally met a man that's going to put her first.
She's finally met a man that's going to put her first. That's the only thing she has ever wished for, and what most of us simply want in life: to love and be loved in return. But this simple request is not so simple to come true.
Do you believe that someone out there is custom-made to fit you perfectly, catering to all that you've ever wished for in your ideal partner in life? Well my friend, this soulmate business is no joke. It has a minimum requirement of at least falling in love with a few wrong people in the way, , except for those lucky customers that found their first love and chose to stay. Still, we must all fight for what we treasure the most. Those wishes and dreams that we all hold close to our hearts, we do all want them to come true. That's what make love so sweet and fulfilling in the long run, right?
You know what I wish for?
I wish that when the time will come when my children will ask me who my first love is, I wouldn't pull out a dusty photo album and show them a faded picture...I want to be able to raise my hand... and point my finger across the room to you.
010. I'm driving my car to where I hope you are.
I'm driving my car to where I hope you are. These past days that we spent going around in endless, pointless circles were all just a confusing mix of headaches and anxiety. Every minute that passed without the certainty of seeing you again is just utter misery. I couldn't even begin to imagine what may be happening to you right now. Are you eating? Do you have a place to stay? Are you sleeping well at night? Am I forgiven? Are you keeping yourself warm? Are you hurt? Are you okay?
Where are you...?
I should have stayed by your side. I should have been there to protect you. I shouldn't have let my anger and pride get the best of me. I should have never left you alone.
I have failed you, in more ways than one. I said I'll protect you, yet one little quarrel changed our lives forever.
I have reached my destination, to where my heart has led me to go... That place where you would be when you just like to sit down and bawl your eyes out. That place where I first fell in love with you.
You were sitting down on the sand, watching the sea as if it went on with its life. It seems that you heard me approaching, but you didn't make a sound. As I enveloped you in my embrace, I felt you melt into that special spot between my arms that was just right for you. And now I found you where you have always been all along: inside my heart, occupying that space that has always belonged to you...
011. Give me a reason to stay...
Another day. Another story. Another feeling of disappointment. Another way to let me down. These incidents have become second nature of you, and I must say that I am not liking it one bit.
Why should you always lie to me? Am I so unworthy of your trust that you wouldn't even think of telling me the truth? Didn't we promise each other that we could love each other without any inhibitions? Or was that just the first of your many lies? Was that just the first in the series of your broken promises?
Now you're here before me, tears pouring down your face. You said you'll change, but I've heard that from you about a hundred times before. You know that I love you, so why ask for reassurance now... now that you've chosen to go away?
I want to feel that this love is not just coming from me, that this relationship has the both of us in it. Give me a reason why I should wait. Give me a reason to love you more than ever. Give me a reason to fight for all that I have and I can.
Give me a reason to stay...
012. She's the perfect one.
"She's the perfect one."
I don't know what made me say those words. All of a sudden, I had some kind of epiphany. It hit me hard as a fourteen-wheeler clocking in at over a hundred kilometers an hour. You were just sitting there, your guitar on your lap and your brow furrowed over a song that you wrote. Nibbling the eraser of the pencil in your hand, you looked just as the usual you at any other given day that I've seen you... But this time something was different. If yesterday I just simply didn't care, but now I was seeing you in quite a different light...
There are many girls out there who might be a whole lot prettier than you are, smarter and more talented, and definitely more good-tempered than you are. But although you're not supermodel material, you're definitely pretty in your own way. Being perfect is boring, so a few flaws here and there would be nice. And even if sometimes all we do is bicker all day long and just keep from going at each other's throats, those quarrels maybe made me like you a little more.
You looked at me when I said those words with a curious look in your face and a quiet question in your eyes. I smiled and simply shook my head in response. A soft smile grazed your lips as you shook your head in turn and went back to your song. A feeling of certainty came over me...
"Perfect..."
013. She's the perfect one and I'm the perfect loser.
She's the perfect one and I'm the perfect loser. Everything she does will always turn out right, while everything I do will forever be an epic failure. And yet, we became friends. The story of our lives is a perfect plot for your typical cliche afternoon shows; of course we became best friends. And considering how perfect she is, of course I'll fall in love with her. And as the loser that I am, of course I'll never tell her how I feel. I'll just wait for the time when she masters the art of mind-reading. Maybe when that day comes and she looks into my head, she'll find herself staring back.
It was just a normal day for the rest of the world, and at the beginning I thought it was a normal day for me too. As usual I was with her, and wishing that I could be with her forever. She was unusually quiet beside me, sitting under that tree that has become our unspoken territory in this school. I tapped her am gently to call her back to earth... and then she suddenly held my hand.
"I've got to tell you something," she slowly said. She looked down and refused to meet my gaze.
"Uhm... about you... Ever since the f-first time we met... I... I want to tell you... I... Uhm... Argh!" she suddenly shouted out in frustration. "I'm never good when it comes to these kind of stuff..." she said, trailing off and continuing to mumble under her breath, while I just stared at her in shock.
Someone as perfect as her... Not being good at something? It didn't line up. Slowly, something was building up inside my head... and I did the only logical thing that my mind could think of in the moment. As she turned to face me again, I never did let her finish what she was supposed to say. Right before I closed the distance between us I stopped and stared at her face. In my split-second moment of hesitation, she smiled and made the decision for both of us. As our lips met for our first kiss, our minds and our hearts broke free and became one, Our feelings were doing a dance of frenzied anticipation, discovering the other in ways that we have only imagined until then.
Maybe, this was what they call 'love'...
Eventually, both of us had to come up for air. She still refused to look at me, and I smiled at how shy she looked when she was normally overflowing with self-confidence. She tried to open her mouth to talk again, but I playfully placed my finger against her lips to shush her.
"Talk and I 'll kiss you again," I said with a laugh. She smiled and removed my hand, entwining her fingers with mine.
"I love you," she simply said, a huge grin on her face. I simply laughed and moved my face closer until we were only inches apart.
"You talked," I scolded her. And right before I kissed her again, I said what I wanted to say.
"And I love you too. More or less at the same time when I first saw you." She laughed at my convulted sentence, and then placed her arms around my neck and shared another kiss, under that tree that has been our unspoken territory...
And so the perfect girl fell in love with the perfect loser...
I just love cliche happy endings, don't you? :)
014. Words are a source of misunderstanding./When we are angry and in a blind rage, it's easy to become illogical. We insist to relate the unrelated, to bring in mistakes committed in the past.
The two of them were sitting back to back. No one dared to break the awkward silence that hung over them like a heavy curtain. No one was willing to make the first move to break that silence. Just a few moments ago they were in a blazing row, an epic shouting match of the century. Both of them were in the wrong, yet both were stubborn enough to wait for the other to apologize first. That moment of heated argument has shattered the precarious balance that the both of them have struggled to keep. And then, one little mistake has ruined it all...
Both of them were still simmering from the fight, adrenaline still pumping through their veins as they fumed over the hurtful words that they threw at each other. When we are angry and in a blind rage, it's easy to become illogical. We insist to relate the unrelated, to bring in mistakes committed in the past. And yet, there was still that emotion that the both of them could not well ignore.
Slowly one of them would turn around at the other person's back and think. Just think. Slowly that anger would burn down, leaving a feeling of cool and lonely emptiness. Being angry was never a pleasant feeling to begin with after all, they would soon realize. Slowly those arms filled with forgiveness and apology, will encircle the other. The fight wouldn't be forgotten. Those fights were symbols , hidden reserves of strength. It helped the both of them realize that anything that won't kill them will make them stronger as individuals and as two parts of a whole. Those fights would serve as memories that they do love each other, enough to admit that they weren't perfect and that they were still human beings, albeit being luckier for having each other. Those fights would stay with them to the point that one day when they look back, they'll laugh at the memory and reinforce each other's affections.
Words are a source of misunderstanding. Yet simple expressions like "I love you", "Sorry", "Thank you", and "Please forgive me" embraces a completely different meaning when it comes from the person that you love...
015. I still remember how you left. I cried because no one could hear me.
I still remember how you left. I cried because no one could hear me. I cried because no one could understand me. You were a part of me, more than you could ever imagine. And yet, no one knew. Not in the past, when people thought that we would never be anything more than friends. Not in the present, when you proved them right and found your match, when all I wanted to do was prove them that they were wrong. And perhaps never in the future, when you will be happily living out the fairytale you have created, while I sit here and still tried to pick up the broken fragments of my happy ending.
It was all my fault. It wasn't your obligation to be nice to me or anything, yet you still extended friendship. And it was I who took the risk. It was I who accepted. It was I who accepted and wished for something, something that was not part of the bargain. And then as I expected, I really did fall for you, and hard--hook, line and sinker.
I never asked you to like me back... at least, not out loud. The reason why I ended up in this mess? Maybe a part of it is the reality of who we are, of being two people that just that spelled out "impossible" between them. I have this stubborn belief that opposites attract, but maybe it just worked for half of us... Now, the only thing I could do is sleep and wish that when morning comes, none of this would have ever happened.
I will find a way to make it without you tonight. I don't know how, but I'll try to forget. It's the only thing I could do to try to hold on to that small piece of sanity that I have left. I have to hold on to that piece of myself that you haven't managed to take hold of. I'm angry of the fact that I'm angry, but I still couldn't blame you. Your only fault was innocently making me fall in love with you...
And yet, that was entirely my own doing and undoing...
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Yatta~! Done with this drabble series! :) Feedback is highly appreciated, ne~? :3