Where Do I Find Myself?

[nightcircle]

I just got sucked into an hour long conversation about New Orleans with a man who was displaced by Katrina just like me. The conversation started because of Hurricane Gustav - which according to my sources - may be heading for New Orleans, at the moment that looks more likely than Texas, but of course that could change, especially this far out in

Comments

[bandraoi]

There is tune I play on the harp called "The Strayaway Child." It's a six-part jig that's really complicated and took a long time for me to learn properly. I always think of you and your crew evacuating New Orleans and fleeing Katrina for Houston on some level every single time I play that part. Why? I was learning that part, practicing it over and over and over again in the weeks and months around the time you and neshenti were writing in your journals here about it.

[bandraoi]

The particular part I'm talking about is the fifth part, by the way.

[nightcircle]

Isn't it weird how music becomes fused to certain eras/events in your life? I listen to a bunch of stuff on my ITunes account when I write my novel(s) and sometimes when I hear a song I haven't played for a while, I flash back to a certain section of a novel and realize I was playing that song on repeat during that whole scene/section. It's wild.

[bandraoi]

It sure is...especially since that section of the tune is fused, but not even to my own damned life...etc. There was a lot of pathos in what you guys wrote, and I'm already sensitive to that sort of thing anyway. Couple it with the meditative state I enter into when I'm working really hard on learning or perfecting a piece, and it just all gets absorbed. I creep myself out sometimes.

[masque12]

I moved to Texas when I was 10 years old. I just turned 30 in July, but New York still feels more like home than Texas does.

[nightcircle]

I sometimes wonder if I'd feel Home if I moved back to New England where I was born. I have no real desire to do it though.

I can't wait for autumn either! I almost feel like I want to physically

[changingthesky]

pull that season into being NOW, except, you know, I can't (heh

Re: I can't wait for autumn either! I almost feel like I want to physically

[nightcircle]

Transitional sounds really good to me. It is more positive than "impermanence". That is what I am struggling with and trying not to become so numb that I don't care

I'm curious to see how S.F. resonates for you

[changingthesky]

(or not) at this point in your life when you are visiting here.

I adore and cherish certain rituals too and I agree with you about not becoming obsessive or attached to them. A ritual for me is used to mark a certain series of moments, giving it a sacred or special tone. (Not to be confused with pleasant habits or comforting routines!).

I also have the same sense of comfort regarding cleaning (or not cleaing, for that matter!) and the importance of not having a cluttered home space. I love living alone, let me tell ya! I know you will too. I'm also looking so forward to your visit b/c then we can chat for HOURS with candlelight, or while out at darling atmospheric places sipping adult bevvies instead of trying to express via summary everything in emails or on LJ comments!!

Re: I'm curious to see how S.F. resonates for you

[nightcircle]

You have no idea how much I looking forward to my trip to S.F. I have never been there by myself and I am looking forward to that experience and also to seeing friends and wandering at will. The candlelit conversations and the atmospheric places are just what I am craving.

I found some decent airfare the other day and need to actually commit and buy, but I am waiting to make sure that Stuart Townsend (and I know this makes me sound like a stalking freak) won't be in town during a certain film festival that is going on. His film Battle in Seattle is going to show just BEFORE the festival actually starts, like a sort of preview intro or something, and he probably won't be there to talk about it, but if he is I have to be there! Just waiting to confirm. LOL

Sentiment has its place...

[halo_ov_fire]

...and I suppose it can be a catalyst or a warm blanket. Really, it's up to you. Myself, I've long ago learned there is no place (at least for me) that comes close to what I'd call home. New Orleans had moments where things felt "right", but that's about as close as it comes.

Home, I suppose, will always be New Hampshire. But even then, its only the lay of the land.

I think I can count myself lucky in having moved around so much. The world is much more my home now; I look forward to looking at places on postcards and recalling my times there.

I think writers are drawn to telling epic stories not just because they have formidable imaginations, but because we want to live epic lives...

Re: Sentiment has its place...

[nightcircle]

I want to travel very much, but I would like to settle down somewhere that would be home base for longer than, say, three years. Someplace I resonate with and want to return to after I travel. This place may not really exist, that is what I am thinking about and if it doesn't, then what do I then? Just stay where I am or constantly move about every few years?

Also, I would much prefer to live an epic life from a lovely manor in say England or France than bounce around from apartment to apartment. LOL

Re: Sentiment has its place...

[halo_ov_fire]

Agreed. Apartments, no matter how cozy, kinda suck. Perhaps living in beach-side villas has ruined me?

I guess I've just given up on that "this is home for me" place. I didn't get it as a kid and I'm not about to get it now.

Ironically, I've always felt a pull toward Seattle. So I don't know. Maybe if I give that a shot sometime in the future..