A dream about a foemer friend.
I had a pretty strange dream last night, and I’m not sure what to make of it.
I used to have a friend Siobhan. I’m not going to go in to what happened as to why the friendship ended, but we both fucked up things and we’ll go with the fact that sometimes people aren’t the same online as they are over voice chat.
I don’t remember a whole hell a lot as far as what happened in the dream, but I remember Siobhan was in it. She kept saying to other people. “As long as they’re not like Gina.” That kept repeating over and over. There wasn’t any context to go along with any of it, so I’m like, “What the fuck?”
My issue is: Sometimes I want to reach out to her and resolve things, but hearing others say that she’s just as angry as before makes me pause for thought. I don’t hate her any more. Hell, nearly 20 years have passed, and there’s no need for any of that, but sometimes it’s painful when I dream about her. Especially when I dream that she an I are hanging out and having an absolutely wonderful time.
I did reach out to her through a mutual friend, and the mutual friend said that she didn’t really want to talk with me. This was when we had a tornado in Dayton. She had wanted to know if I was okay. The only reason I knew she mentioned me was because I looked up her timeline from the XTFM Twitter account I run. She says that she hates blocking people because you can’t block people in real life, yet my personal Twitter is blocked. That makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. *insert Sarcasm* The pot calling the kettle black and all.
I just don’t understand why people hold on to things for so long and can’t let things go. Sure, people get hurt by life experiences, but the other side of that coin is that if people hold on to such anger, they’re not ever going to be happy with themselves. I’ll admit that yeah, I messed up when she visited, but so did she. If she were a truly honest person and would have communicated any issues she were having with me I’d not have read her logs, and perhaps we’d still have ben friends to this day. But because she’s constantly angry at the world, and herself she’s missing out on a whole lot of life experiences.
This entry was originally posted at https://nightdrake.dreamwidth.org/419591.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I used to have a friend Siobhan. I’m not going to go in to what happened as to why the friendship ended, but we both fucked up things and we’ll go with the fact that sometimes people aren’t the same online as they are over voice chat.
I don’t remember a whole hell a lot as far as what happened in the dream, but I remember Siobhan was in it. She kept saying to other people. “As long as they’re not like Gina.” That kept repeating over and over. There wasn’t any context to go along with any of it, so I’m like, “What the fuck?”
My issue is: Sometimes I want to reach out to her and resolve things, but hearing others say that she’s just as angry as before makes me pause for thought. I don’t hate her any more. Hell, nearly 20 years have passed, and there’s no need for any of that, but sometimes it’s painful when I dream about her. Especially when I dream that she an I are hanging out and having an absolutely wonderful time.
I did reach out to her through a mutual friend, and the mutual friend said that she didn’t really want to talk with me. This was when we had a tornado in Dayton. She had wanted to know if I was okay. The only reason I knew she mentioned me was because I looked up her timeline from the XTFM Twitter account I run. She says that she hates blocking people because you can’t block people in real life, yet my personal Twitter is blocked. That makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. *insert Sarcasm* The pot calling the kettle black and all.
I just don’t understand why people hold on to things for so long and can’t let things go. Sure, people get hurt by life experiences, but the other side of that coin is that if people hold on to such anger, they’re not ever going to be happy with themselves. I’ll admit that yeah, I messed up when she visited, but so did she. If she were a truly honest person and would have communicated any issues she were having with me I’d not have read her logs, and perhaps we’d still have ben friends to this day. But because she’s constantly angry at the world, and herself she’s missing out on a whole lot of life experiences.
This entry was originally posted at https://nightdrake.dreamwidth.org/419591.html. Please comment there using OpenID.