everything is so distant now. i feel like i'm falling one step behind everyone else. and i have no way of catching up. i should quit smoking. i think that has a lot to deal with it. i feel broken. i miss aenon. i wish everyone would stop hating me for no good reason. i have a lot of problems no one knows about. i have a lot of baggage. i can't be ( Read more... )

people spoiled things. i guess it isn't too much a secret now...damnit. what to do...

knowing someone for 4 years and never realizing how much you care about them is the hardest thing, especially since they're no longer around. i've found someone who i care about more than most things, but the dilemma is that i can't have that. there's sooo much that keeps me from it. distance, friends, everything. i had a dream last night... i had ( Read more... )

welp i was cast in the one act and i'm soo fucking excited!!!

today was fun, yesterday was fun. i got to hang out with evan and jessina tonight. we watched raggedy bob. funny stuff.i had a wonderful time. how should i go about this? some serious confusion going on. i look like a stoner tonight, although i'm not high. i'm sitting at my computer, with a can of easy cheese, an open thing of ritz and the box all ( Read more... )

the past few days have been very interesting. i went to Eureka Springs with mom and jessina. we had a blast. we went for a wedding, and i ended up with a tattoo. it's really cool. it's on my shoulder. it's a little butterfly faerie. cute ( Read more... )

well, i should post. i can't type really right now. some fish like cheese sometimes. geez.fun night.i still don't know what i'm doing.i can't figure anything out. should i wait for something i don't know that i want? should i go for something near and sufficent? i don't want to be alone. i want for there to be someone who can make everything okay. ( Read more... )

Today has sucked. It's days like today that make me come to my senses and stop avoiding the obvious. only it's always too late. I've shed a few tears today. Aenon left for fort sam houston in texas for AIT. he's going to be gone for awhile. i'm not sure exactly how long, but it's long. i spent the night with him last night, we hung out until like 3 ( Read more... )

i had a good time tonight, went swimming at tiffany's. her pool is beautiful. i love it. mattress riding rocks. jessi is back yay!!!!!!
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