So Close
[Title] So Close
[Prompt] 039. All the People [Hankyung/Donghae]
[Rating] G
[Words] 765
[Summary] Of all the people that he could have fallen in love with, Donghae knows that Hankyung is the worst choice.
[Pairing] HanHae, HanChul
[Disclaimer] Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Need I say more?
[Notes] For the 100 SuJu fics challenge. um…angst? anyways, this fic’s inspired by So Close by Jon McLaughlin from the Enchanted OST.
[Archive] here
Donghae knows he is dreaming. He knows that none of this is real - couldn’t possibly be real. He knows that everything happening now is just a figment of his imagination, brought on by months - or is it years? - of longing, wishing, and hoping. He knows that none of what is happening right now is true; that when he opens his eyes, everything will be gone, and things will be back to how they really are. He knows that he needs to stop dreaming now, because if it goes on any longer, it’ll be that much harder for him when it finally ends.
But despite knowing all that - despite knowing how much it will hurt him when he opens his eyes back to reality - Donghae cannot make himself stop. He cannot force the dream to end, because knowing that pain and heartache is all that awaits him upon waking makes him want to hold on to this dream even more than he knows he should.
Of all the people he could have fallen in love with, Donghae knows that Hankyung is the worst choice. He’s a friend, he’s a co-worker, he’s a group member, and should anything happen, everything would be awkward and the group would suffer. Donghae knows these reasons - he’s repeated them to himself over and over again. But Donghae knows that they’re not the real reason why he should stay far away from Hankyung.
Donghae knows that Hankyung’s heart already belongs to someone. And that someone is not him. Donghae knows that Heechul owns all of Hankyung’s heart and that Hankyung owns all of Heechul’s. Donghae knows that no matter how crude Heechul may be, his love for Hankyung is real and honest and sincere. He was there to listen and console Heechul because he believed that Hankyung would never return his feelings. He was there to celebrate with Heechul when he finally confessed and found out that the other man felt the same way. He was there through it all - ever the support, ever the good friend - forsaking his own breaking heart for the sake of his friend’s happiness.
So yes, Donghae knows that he is dreaming, and yes, he knows that he needs to stop. But Hankyung is holding him closely and they are swaying side to side, dancing to their own rhythm - to their own music - and Donghae doesn’t have the strength in him to make the dream stop. Donghae can feel Hankyung’s breath on him and it all feels so real and all he can think of is to preserve this moment forever. He doesn’t want to think about tomorrow, he doesn’t want to think about what will happen when he wakes up. All he wants is the here and now, because in the here and now, Hankyung is his.
Hankyung begins to sing softly in his ear. It’s a familiar song - one that Donghae has heard many times before - about being so close and yet so far and Donghae can feel the tears begin to water his eyes. He can feel the tears start to fall down his cheeks and onto Hankyung’s shoulders. He can feel the other man pause and try to pull away from him, to see if he’s ok, but Donghae holds on tight, never wanting to let go. He begs Hankyung to keep going - to keep singing - and to keep holding on to him and to never let him go.
Hankyung continues and Donghae closes his eyes and rests his head on the crook of Hankyung’s neck. He smiles slightly, but the tears never stop falling. This is how it should be, Donghae thinks. Why can’t it be this simple? This easy? But Donghae knows that life is not easy - will never be easy - because he knows that when he wakes up, he will have to go back to being the happy-go-lucky person everyone believes him to be and he will have to watch Heechul and Hankyung together with a smile on his face, pretending it’s not tearing him apart.
Donghae holds on tighter to Hankyung, refusing to let go, refusing to let the morning take him away. But Donghae knows this dream and he knows how it will end. The sun will shine, the scenery will disappear, Hankyung will be gone from his arms and Donghae will be left alone. He will wake up, tears staining his face, and holding on tightly to a pillow, wishing it was the man he dreams of, but can never have.
-End-
I’ve fallen in love with this pairing and I make myself sad cuz for my first HanHae fic, I break them. ;__;
but I seriously needed to get this one done, because the writer’s block was really painful. And it took me forever to even get this one through. Hopefully, I’ll get right back on track with my writing now…
[Prompt] 039. All the People [Hankyung/Donghae]
[Rating] G
[Words] 765
[Summary] Of all the people that he could have fallen in love with, Donghae knows that Hankyung is the worst choice.
[Pairing] HanHae, HanChul
[Disclaimer] Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Need I say more?
[Notes] For the 100 SuJu fics challenge. um…angst? anyways, this fic’s inspired by So Close by Jon McLaughlin from the Enchanted OST.
[Archive] here
Donghae knows he is dreaming. He knows that none of this is real - couldn’t possibly be real. He knows that everything happening now is just a figment of his imagination, brought on by months - or is it years? - of longing, wishing, and hoping. He knows that none of what is happening right now is true; that when he opens his eyes, everything will be gone, and things will be back to how they really are. He knows that he needs to stop dreaming now, because if it goes on any longer, it’ll be that much harder for him when it finally ends.
But despite knowing all that - despite knowing how much it will hurt him when he opens his eyes back to reality - Donghae cannot make himself stop. He cannot force the dream to end, because knowing that pain and heartache is all that awaits him upon waking makes him want to hold on to this dream even more than he knows he should.
Of all the people he could have fallen in love with, Donghae knows that Hankyung is the worst choice. He’s a friend, he’s a co-worker, he’s a group member, and should anything happen, everything would be awkward and the group would suffer. Donghae knows these reasons - he’s repeated them to himself over and over again. But Donghae knows that they’re not the real reason why he should stay far away from Hankyung.
Donghae knows that Hankyung’s heart already belongs to someone. And that someone is not him. Donghae knows that Heechul owns all of Hankyung’s heart and that Hankyung owns all of Heechul’s. Donghae knows that no matter how crude Heechul may be, his love for Hankyung is real and honest and sincere. He was there to listen and console Heechul because he believed that Hankyung would never return his feelings. He was there to celebrate with Heechul when he finally confessed and found out that the other man felt the same way. He was there through it all - ever the support, ever the good friend - forsaking his own breaking heart for the sake of his friend’s happiness.
So yes, Donghae knows that he is dreaming, and yes, he knows that he needs to stop. But Hankyung is holding him closely and they are swaying side to side, dancing to their own rhythm - to their own music - and Donghae doesn’t have the strength in him to make the dream stop. Donghae can feel Hankyung’s breath on him and it all feels so real and all he can think of is to preserve this moment forever. He doesn’t want to think about tomorrow, he doesn’t want to think about what will happen when he wakes up. All he wants is the here and now, because in the here and now, Hankyung is his.
Hankyung begins to sing softly in his ear. It’s a familiar song - one that Donghae has heard many times before - about being so close and yet so far and Donghae can feel the tears begin to water his eyes. He can feel the tears start to fall down his cheeks and onto Hankyung’s shoulders. He can feel the other man pause and try to pull away from him, to see if he’s ok, but Donghae holds on tight, never wanting to let go. He begs Hankyung to keep going - to keep singing - and to keep holding on to him and to never let him go.
Hankyung continues and Donghae closes his eyes and rests his head on the crook of Hankyung’s neck. He smiles slightly, but the tears never stop falling. This is how it should be, Donghae thinks. Why can’t it be this simple? This easy? But Donghae knows that life is not easy - will never be easy - because he knows that when he wakes up, he will have to go back to being the happy-go-lucky person everyone believes him to be and he will have to watch Heechul and Hankyung together with a smile on his face, pretending it’s not tearing him apart.
Donghae holds on tighter to Hankyung, refusing to let go, refusing to let the morning take him away. But Donghae knows this dream and he knows how it will end. The sun will shine, the scenery will disappear, Hankyung will be gone from his arms and Donghae will be left alone. He will wake up, tears staining his face, and holding on tightly to a pillow, wishing it was the man he dreams of, but can never have.
-End-
I’ve fallen in love with this pairing and I make myself sad cuz for my first HanHae fic, I break them. ;__;
but I seriously needed to get this one done, because the writer’s block was really painful. And it took me forever to even get this one through. Hopefully, I’ll get right back on track with my writing now…