(no subject)
Stalkers are twats. A cautionary tale from nikari.
nopar is stalking nikari
nopar’s REAL name :
Freeman Bradford
nopar’s REAL DOB :
08th January 1973
Height :159 cm
Weight : 78.4 kg
nopar has dreamt about you :
24 times
nopar became interested in you :
16th January 2005
nopar’s latest dream about you
You are on a golfcourse with nopar and your tormentor is showing you kinky new ways to make use of the putter.
This is how nopar describes your relationship behind your back
‘nikari thinks we are just friends! Ha! I’m moving in for the kill!’
nopar’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
nopar was seen parading around town with nikari’s missing beret.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
nopar had the lower part of their legs removed in order to compensate for the difference in height between the two of you. Needless to say, you were suitably unimpressed when nopar came to see you next.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Everyday without you is death. I’ve decided it’s best that we end our lives in each others arms. My brother knows a fellow who can buy cynaide pills on the cheap. Let’s do it, for us.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
30 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, police? Yeah, I’d like to report a crime. Some mad fuckers just shovelled shit into our mailbox. I think it’s this person I know from the internet called nopar. Yeah, real mad son of a bitch. Can’t seem to understand that I just don’t like ‘em."
nopar’s Police File
nopar is a callous, heartless young man who enjoys biting the head off squirrels and spitting them out at animal rights protestors.
Testimonies about nopar
gargoylisous - Breastfeeder of Cats
‘Fucking hell! This is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. nikari should really be in hospital receiving X-rays to the head.’
fuzn - The Devil In Disguise
‘nopar’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’
kor27 - Gives birth to cattle
‘Uncool and unhip nopar is just plain shit!’