idek life

[nikkernoodle]

So apparently the last time I posted with this eljay was in March. WTG, self. I'm just glad school's almost over for the summer.

Warning: there is gratuitous amounts of bitching/emoangsting/frustration under the cut that I just need to get off my chest, so feel free to skip.

Comments

[kidouche]

.....why would they tell you they're talking about you. I just. What. WHAT.

Speaking of- I had a hell of a time with my language classes in college. I barely squeaked by, even though I killed myself trying to do the work and studying and whatever. College language is hard, because you get a lot of stuff thrown at you and not a lot of time in which to let it sink in.

Maybe you could ask your teachers for tips on how to study? I WISH I HAD DONE THIS.

I hope you do get things resolved, though.

[nikkernoodle]

IKR? The first time I was like "wha...um, thank you?" and then the next time he told me about it, I just like...nodded and thanked him and blah. TOTALLY AWKWARD 8|

...you know, that's a very good idea. I didn't think to ever really ask something like that...I'm horrible at asking teachers for things. Which is totally illogical because both of these teachers are incredibly nice and friendly but nnnnnnng.

I'll do my best. Thanks bb

[ruxi]

I don't know what exact kind of skills are needed for your education, because it's just its own kind of empire, but... you're so talented, Nikki, you really are. To a less exhaustive extent, I know a little about what it's like to just... lose out to your body when you're trying to study, and it gives you that disgusting feeling of helplessness and of, "Uhm. Everyone else is excelling. This is not difficult," which you rationally know doesn't apply, but hey, you can't help it. ._.,

...idk where I'm even going with this, but... please don't blame yourself. You're trying, you really are. I haven't practiced my written French strongly in a while, but if it helps, do you want to write each others e-mails in it, so you can exercise it?

[nikkernoodle]

Said empire is becoming more and more like a looming Death Star. Awful simile is awful, I know, but so true. The more I hear about it, the more scared of it I become. Half of what I hear is people telling me that no one gives a shit about your schooling when you get in the field, all they want is the results. But at the same time, I'm still going to need it all the way up to a Master's to be competitive. I love the feeling of a performance enough to brave the field, but I'm so freaking intimidated by it right now. Not to mention my mother is now actually saying that my father and her would be willing to pay for the school that I got into last year that was my dream school, but was too expensive. So now they're willing to pay for it, which I am not only floored about, but eternally grateful...but I also really am feeling like the teacher I'm with where I currently am is doing great things with my voice. But I'm currently at the school I chose to go to because they gave me a scholarship and they're in-state so it's way cheaper than my

[maplepancakes]

Damn D: I hope the talk goes well for you.

[nikkernoodle]

Thanks bb ♥

Here's hoping ._. I know my dad at least is not going to be pleased, and my mother is for sure going to be disappointed. But...better now than them being blindsided when I get my grades.

[starbolts]

NO MORE LATE NIGHT DISCUSSIONS :|

Second of all, everyone approaches school work differently. I wait until the last minute and turn out an essay that gets a decent/good grade, while my sister has to prepare for it a week in advance so she doesn't have to worry about it the night before. My friend totally gets math and can work with numbers in his head all the time, while I can barely count CHANGE without getting confused. My sister needs a tutor and rigorous studying to get through history class. I still remember the first time we learned about the Holocaust in fifth grade and I came home sobbing uncontrollably because I just wanted to know why.

I know, I know "cool story bro" BUT LISTEN TO ME. This is not your fault and not exclusive to you. You aren't a failure in any sense of the word. You study and try harder than a majority of the people I've known in my life. You put effort into your work far beyond the expectations of the normal student. So a subject isn't jiving with you. That happens to all of us! Breathe, work hard, and

[nikkernoodle]

BUT I LIKES THEM. AND I DON'T GET TO TALK TO YOU DURING THE DAY SO IT'S MY TALK TO JILLY TIME

But it's not even pulling the best grade in the class. I'd be happy with a B, but I can't even seem to pull that off since coming to this school. I've gotten C+s at best, and failed the rest of the time. It's ridiculous. I should be able to at least get a B. I know I'm smart enough to get a B. So why can't I?

[eyefloss]

speaking from experience, but if your college offers services for learning disabled students? take full advantage of them. they're there for a reason, and to not use them when they're made available for you is foolish. it isn't a crutch; you just learn differently than other people and yeah, that does kind of suck, but if it'll help you get ahead in school and accomplish your goals then that's all that matters.

my bros all have a slew of disabilities and i myself have ADD along with executive functioning and dysgraphia. trust me when i say that anything you can do to make your school experience easier is worth it.