Title:
Lessons learned in a looking glassBeta: Many thanks to
aquila_star for the very quick beta duties
Rating: R
Word Count: 939
Pairings/Characters: Kirk/McCoy (unrequited), McCoy, mentions of past Kirk/Ariel Shaw and McCoy/Ariel Shaw.
Warnings: AU, Regency
Disclaimer: Not mine, dammit!
Summary: In the early hours of the morning, things are revealed that you would prefer to remain hidden.
A/N: For Dizilla who was having a bad day and requested a little snippet from my Regency period verse.
This takes place after McCoy has returned home from his evening out in
'A night of Pleasure and Education'.
Also over at AO3
here.
Leonard sat at his dressing table, looking at his flickering reflection in the mirror in front of him. The light from the candle that sat on the table making his eyes look greener than normal. He was not usually inclined to sit and stare at his own reflection, but his thoughts were turbulent after their evening.
He knew if he cared to push the heavy drapes aside he would see the early light of the morning breaking over the city of London, but he needed to sleep. Which he could not do until his mind settled and the green-eyed monster he saw reflected in the mirror receded.
While Monty had been right, any true gentleman made the acquaintance of a high flyer and more importantly was seen squiring one around town, it did not sit well with Leonard to see Jim do so. It was right though, and Leonard needed his traitorous memories of kissing Jim, touching him, and sleeping next to him, to fade into unimportance.
He needed to regain his composure so when he woke neither Jim nor Monty would suspect his thoughts and unholy desires. He appreciated the glory of women, but Jim, there was something about the boy that drew him time and time again. He should be satisfied with their friendship, but Jim’s attention still kept reminding him or the past and the possibility of what he should not want.
The images from the evening kept revolving in his mind, Jim’s skin, so pale and on display to him after the invitation from Miss Shaw. Leonard wasn’t sure what she was thinking about the pair of them when she led them upstairs. The best pleasure for the even had been watching Jim and then having Jim watching him in return. It was no disrespect to the lovely woman who accommodated both of them and brought pleasure, which was heightened by another’s gaze. While he and Monty had definitely partaken of the same women on some occasions, it had never been like this.
To remove clothes from Jim, after it had been him that had first taught him how to wear them, was torture for his equilibrium. He had fought hard to keep his voice from wavering and his hands sure as he had helped Jim strip. Whispering words had felt so natural as he ordered Jim to do his bidding and Jim, that assured, proud and mischievous young man, had followed eagerly. It was obviously the delight in attention from a beautiful woman, and Leonard hissed at the falling feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought. It was only right though. Jim was a Marquis, the last of his line, and marriage and children were his right and future, just as they were also Leonard’s.
While Jim pleasured Ariel and took his own in her, Leonard had been drawn from his chair. He had thought to sit back and observe quietly, but like every moment since he had met Jim, there was something that just drew him to be closer to the boy, the man. He should think of him as a man, but Leonard felt comfortable thinking of him as younger, to hold his wicked desires hidden.
If Jim had removed his own breeches, allowed Leonard to see the curve of his posterior, the pale skin there would have been a temptation he could not resist. Yet, Leonard himself had removed all his own clothes. The devil had been in him that evening and the demon had flitted around the room, teasing Jim to do the same and stand close and watch while Leonard had pleasured Miss Shaw. He had pressed kisses to her most intimate area, wanting and needing to be reminded of the talented and beautiful woman who was gifting him with her body and time. Then he had glanced up. He did not know what had caused him to do so, but some power that made him do so and he saw Jim, who was aroused again, even after he had sated himself in Miss Shaw’s thighs just moments before.
The devil was who Leonard wanted to blame for his next motions, and not the desire for Jim’s approval, for Jim to know that he wanted to sink into him, to take and claim him. Jim’s quiet, “Carry on,” was the order he had been waiting for, to sink a finger into Ariel after he had teased her as much as Jim’s presence and the heated look in his eyes had teased Leonard.
Jim had retreated and Leonard had heard him settle in the chair. It allowed Leonard to focus back on Ariel as he should have from the start and he worked at bringing her to pleasure. Yet, the devil had been riding him, and he turned them so that Ariel became the devil and rode him hard and thoroughly. He knew it gave Jim another view of the pair of them, but the tease of fingers on his chest as Ariel smiled down at him, brought his attention mostly back onto her.
He looked hard into the mirror, and all he saw in return was the flush on his face of desire. He closed his eyes, taking away the view. When he felt his breaths slow he opened his eyes again but refused to look at himself. Instead, he leaned over and blew out the candle. From memory he made his way to his bed and pulled back the covers.
He yearned. He yearned for what he knew he never could have and he feared that he would yearn for the rest of his life.