Desire
Title: Desire
Author: Nikki Kiraga
Rating: NC-17
Genre: General, Romance, Adult, Tragedy, Drama
Warnings: Medium lemon, author's second lemon-y thing, first person - Kagome, death
AU/Canon: Canon
Pairing: Sesshomaru/Kagome, Kagome/Inuyasha
Words: 1,947
Summary: Kagome's done something terrible, but Inuyasha pays the price. A story written from her perspective on desires.
Note: Written for
inuyashaquotes Week 4. Prompt quote is the first line of the story.
"We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have." - Publilius Syrus
Desire... it's a funny thing. The more you desire something, the more you're driven to obtain it. Whether it be a child wanting a cookie before dinner, or someone with a voice of an angel trying desperately to realize their dream to sing in front of millions. It doesn't matter what it is, it just makes you do crazy things. But perhaps it's stronger than many think. Desire can take you beyond your control, and when you get there, you will do anything. Including betray the man you've loved for years. I'd like you to follow me through my story, as I tell you how I caused my loved one's death, through my selfish desire to be with his older brother...
It was a normal day in the village of the old miko, Kaede. After the evil hanyou Naraku was defeated, we all settled down. Miroku and Sango got married, and Sango was then three months into her pregnancy. Of course, Inuyasha had figured out she was pregnant long before she showed. His nose was always the best. Inuyasha and I got closer, now that there was no dead clay miko to separate us. Sometimes I would think that he often thought of Kikyo while he laid with me, but I could never bring myself to ask. I was spineless, and too kind for my own good. By the time I, the Shikon Miko, became impure... I had sealed his fate. Shippo had ran off a long time ago, wanting to take care of himself then. So, we lived side by side, Sango and I staying close as ever.
Meanwhile, the sexy, sultry, irresistible demon lord Sesshomaru was watching his young ward, Rin, grow into a young woman through the battles with Naraku. Now, he had married her off, though not unwillingly. She had agreed to it, and through many tears, they reluctantly said good bye. I heard of her departure, and often visited the Palace of the Moon to console him. Soon, however, I'd be doing much more than that.
Back to the normal day in the village. I had snuck out with the fire cat, Kirara, and was once more being carried toward the palace. I secretly wanted to be closer to him, more than a shoulder to lean on as he went through these hard times. Inuyasha had never known I went into his brother's lands, because I had always managed to dissolve the scent before he could figure it out. At night, as he was making love to me, I dreamed of Sesshomaru. Although the man was usually stoic, I imagined him going wild--nearly literally--in lust over me, as he pounded lovingly into me. A girl could imagine, couldn't she? I knew it wasn't going to happen, but I could dream! What I didn't realize was that my dream was soon to become a nightmare.
As the large neko landed on the ground, I nodded to her and slid off. I told her I'd return later, and she growled lightly, lifting back off into the air. I smiled, always being cheery in those days, and approached the castle. A mouse demon servant opened the doors for me, and I walked into the beautiful establishment. I made my way to Sesshomaru's study, a small room with wooden walls, but still looked very much like a war lord's study would. I smiled at him, although he only "Hn"'d once he allowed me in. I sat beside him, and rested my head on his arm. Lately, he was feeling better, and I worried my part was over. No, not yet. It wasn't over. In fact, it had become greater.
Slowly, he turned to me. He had an odd look in his golden depths, something I've never seen before. Before I knew it, he was holding my chin gingerly, before he leaned in and kissed my lips softly. I couldn't help myself, and moaned lightly, allowing his skilled tongue entrance into my mouth. He held me that way for a bit, kissing me with an odd amount of passion. At the moment, however, my head was so clouded with lust I couldn't notice a thing. Next thing I knew, I was laying down on the floor, my clothes shredded. Again, my mind was so cloudy, that I didn't realize my secret was completely blown when he tore my clothes off. The powerful demon leaned in and kissed, nipped, and licked at my neck and throat, in a most delicious way that made me moan out. I wrapped my fingers in his silver hair, my head tilted back from the pleasure.
He worked his way down very slowly, dragging out his assault on my sensitive human body. He nipped at my collar bone, kissed at my chest, and licked between my breasts. His hands reached up and began to rub them, causing me to arch my back to push my mounds further into his hands. He rolled my breasts in his hands, teasing my nipples, and sometimes even squeezed. I was quickly getting tired of the torture, even if it felt good. I begged for more, and he only smirked at me, showing one of his dangerous fangs. He released his hold on my breasts before moving down.
He kissed along my stomach now, taking a moment to pause at my belly button. I couldn't miss the smirk that once again showed up on his face, as he slowly slid his tongue along my belly button, before dipping it inside. I suppose he decided that the scent of my arousal was then driving him crazy, as his eyes started to become red, and he swiftly moved down, taking a deep breath of my scent. I licked my lips unconsciously, blushing now. Inuyasha was never much for foreplay. If he wanted me, he wanted me then. Not thirty minutes later, after he made sure to pleasure me a bit, not the next day because I just wasn't in the mood today. It was the moment he got aroused. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, had taken his time, fighting with his beast so he could continue his torture.
Slowly, his tongue slipped out, making its way along my wet folds. I gasped, and let out a light moan. That was one of the best things I had ever felt, and he hardly touched me! After that, my mind was a foggy mess. All I could remember after that point was Sesshomaru over me, my repeated distaste when he stopped giving me his attention, and my loud moans when he quickly gave that attention in another area.
A few days had passed after Sesshomaru first made love to me. I visited him every day, and we always made love. At times he would give it to me rough and hard, but some how I enjoyed it more than when Inuyasha gave it to me that way. Other times he'd be the sweetest lover there was, being gentle and slow. We'd try crazy positions, normal positions... over all, he'd blow my mind every day. And after that, we'd wash his scent off of me, dry me off quickly, and Kirara would return me to the village.
Unfortunately, he begun to get territorial. He disliked the thought of me returning home so I'd make love with Inuyasha. He disliked the fact that I had to wash his scent off of me, because he wanted to relish it. At times he even wanted to hold me, but instead I had to return home. It all got him very upset, and he did what he was dying to do for years.
I was only away for a few minutes to get some water. I was taking care of a sick child, and they had a nasty fever. When I returned to the village, it was in shambles. Blood and bodies were everywhere. I quickly made my way to the hut I shared with Inuyasha. What happened to Miroku? Sango? Kaede? And most important, what happened to Inuyasha? As I slid away the screen, my eyes were met with the most horrible sight.
Inuyasha was on his knees, a hole in his chest, as he stared up at the man he hated to call his brother. Sesshomaru was covered in blood, all of it being others'. Nobody had seen him coming, and he destroyed the village, killed my friends--as I could see by the bodies near the hut--and now... my Inuyasha. My hanyou's body went limp, as he fell forward, and the youkai looked at me. I remember him staring at me with cold eyes. "You belong to me now, Miko," he stated.
I looked between him and Inuyasha. I realized this was a possession thing. Possibly even a mating thing. No demon could mate with another's woman, unless said other was dead. Then the woman was once again free, and was fair game. I felt the rage boil inside of me. He killed my Inuyasha, my friends, Grandma Kaede, and the entire village... just so he could mate with me?! How could he?! I thought he cared for me! Sesshomaru seemed to sense my rage, because he came up beside me, and began to speak again. "This is all your own fault. You hadn't pushed me away, that first time. You're responsible for their deaths," he told me, before leaving.
My eyes had widened, becoming bigger than golf balls. No, that couldn't be true. Because I didn't resist him, this happened? That couldn't be, it really couldn't! It was his fault, he killed them! But then... if I never made him want me, then he wouldn't have. Slowly, I collapsed to my knees, staring at my beloved's dead body. It was my fault. He died because of my desires. All he wanted to do was love me, but I craved more. How could I have done this to him? I didn't want to hurt him, I just... I wanted... more. My head lowered slowly. My only choice now was to live with the lord who killed them. I forced myself to my feet, and cried as I followed after him.
If I hadn't been so kind, he wouldn't have died. If I didn't sneak around, he wouldn't have died. If I never made love with Sesshomaru that first time... he wouldn't have died. I suppose desire really could kill a person, but very rarely it was the one who held the desire. He didn't deserve this, he didn't even know what I was doing. A fresh wave of tears came over me, as I tilted my head up to the sky. I begged the Kamis to tell him I was sorry.
I loved him, and failed him. My desire killed my love, and now I live with the cruel lord. He continues to take me, but it no longer holds the love it once did. Even now, as I sit at my hanyou's grave, writing this, he's looking for me. But it doesn't matter, because this is my good bye. I don't care who reads this, or when. But I do want the world to know that I failed the only man I ever truly loved, and that I don't even deserve life. When, or if, Sesshomaru finds me, all he'll see is his dead love lying on her side, clutching to the sword that was used so many times in my life. And he'll never be able to revive me. And maybe, just maybe... my Inu will forgive me.
~Kagome Higurashi,
Lady of the West
Author: Nikki Kiraga
Rating: NC-17
Genre: General, Romance, Adult, Tragedy, Drama
Warnings: Medium lemon, author's second lemon-y thing, first person - Kagome, death
AU/Canon: Canon
Pairing: Sesshomaru/Kagome, Kagome/Inuyasha
Words: 1,947
Summary: Kagome's done something terrible, but Inuyasha pays the price. A story written from her perspective on desires.
Note: Written for
inuyashaquotes Week 4. Prompt quote is the first line of the story.
"We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have." - Publilius Syrus
Desire... it's a funny thing. The more you desire something, the more you're driven to obtain it. Whether it be a child wanting a cookie before dinner, or someone with a voice of an angel trying desperately to realize their dream to sing in front of millions. It doesn't matter what it is, it just makes you do crazy things. But perhaps it's stronger than many think. Desire can take you beyond your control, and when you get there, you will do anything. Including betray the man you've loved for years. I'd like you to follow me through my story, as I tell you how I caused my loved one's death, through my selfish desire to be with his older brother...
It was a normal day in the village of the old miko, Kaede. After the evil hanyou Naraku was defeated, we all settled down. Miroku and Sango got married, and Sango was then three months into her pregnancy. Of course, Inuyasha had figured out she was pregnant long before she showed. His nose was always the best. Inuyasha and I got closer, now that there was no dead clay miko to separate us. Sometimes I would think that he often thought of Kikyo while he laid with me, but I could never bring myself to ask. I was spineless, and too kind for my own good. By the time I, the Shikon Miko, became impure... I had sealed his fate. Shippo had ran off a long time ago, wanting to take care of himself then. So, we lived side by side, Sango and I staying close as ever.
Meanwhile, the sexy, sultry, irresistible demon lord Sesshomaru was watching his young ward, Rin, grow into a young woman through the battles with Naraku. Now, he had married her off, though not unwillingly. She had agreed to it, and through many tears, they reluctantly said good bye. I heard of her departure, and often visited the Palace of the Moon to console him. Soon, however, I'd be doing much more than that.
Back to the normal day in the village. I had snuck out with the fire cat, Kirara, and was once more being carried toward the palace. I secretly wanted to be closer to him, more than a shoulder to lean on as he went through these hard times. Inuyasha had never known I went into his brother's lands, because I had always managed to dissolve the scent before he could figure it out. At night, as he was making love to me, I dreamed of Sesshomaru. Although the man was usually stoic, I imagined him going wild--nearly literally--in lust over me, as he pounded lovingly into me. A girl could imagine, couldn't she? I knew it wasn't going to happen, but I could dream! What I didn't realize was that my dream was soon to become a nightmare.
As the large neko landed on the ground, I nodded to her and slid off. I told her I'd return later, and she growled lightly, lifting back off into the air. I smiled, always being cheery in those days, and approached the castle. A mouse demon servant opened the doors for me, and I walked into the beautiful establishment. I made my way to Sesshomaru's study, a small room with wooden walls, but still looked very much like a war lord's study would. I smiled at him, although he only "Hn"'d once he allowed me in. I sat beside him, and rested my head on his arm. Lately, he was feeling better, and I worried my part was over. No, not yet. It wasn't over. In fact, it had become greater.
Slowly, he turned to me. He had an odd look in his golden depths, something I've never seen before. Before I knew it, he was holding my chin gingerly, before he leaned in and kissed my lips softly. I couldn't help myself, and moaned lightly, allowing his skilled tongue entrance into my mouth. He held me that way for a bit, kissing me with an odd amount of passion. At the moment, however, my head was so clouded with lust I couldn't notice a thing. Next thing I knew, I was laying down on the floor, my clothes shredded. Again, my mind was so cloudy, that I didn't realize my secret was completely blown when he tore my clothes off. The powerful demon leaned in and kissed, nipped, and licked at my neck and throat, in a most delicious way that made me moan out. I wrapped my fingers in his silver hair, my head tilted back from the pleasure.
He worked his way down very slowly, dragging out his assault on my sensitive human body. He nipped at my collar bone, kissed at my chest, and licked between my breasts. His hands reached up and began to rub them, causing me to arch my back to push my mounds further into his hands. He rolled my breasts in his hands, teasing my nipples, and sometimes even squeezed. I was quickly getting tired of the torture, even if it felt good. I begged for more, and he only smirked at me, showing one of his dangerous fangs. He released his hold on my breasts before moving down.
He kissed along my stomach now, taking a moment to pause at my belly button. I couldn't miss the smirk that once again showed up on his face, as he slowly slid his tongue along my belly button, before dipping it inside. I suppose he decided that the scent of my arousal was then driving him crazy, as his eyes started to become red, and he swiftly moved down, taking a deep breath of my scent. I licked my lips unconsciously, blushing now. Inuyasha was never much for foreplay. If he wanted me, he wanted me then. Not thirty minutes later, after he made sure to pleasure me a bit, not the next day because I just wasn't in the mood today. It was the moment he got aroused. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, had taken his time, fighting with his beast so he could continue his torture.
Slowly, his tongue slipped out, making its way along my wet folds. I gasped, and let out a light moan. That was one of the best things I had ever felt, and he hardly touched me! After that, my mind was a foggy mess. All I could remember after that point was Sesshomaru over me, my repeated distaste when he stopped giving me his attention, and my loud moans when he quickly gave that attention in another area.
A few days had passed after Sesshomaru first made love to me. I visited him every day, and we always made love. At times he would give it to me rough and hard, but some how I enjoyed it more than when Inuyasha gave it to me that way. Other times he'd be the sweetest lover there was, being gentle and slow. We'd try crazy positions, normal positions... over all, he'd blow my mind every day. And after that, we'd wash his scent off of me, dry me off quickly, and Kirara would return me to the village.
Unfortunately, he begun to get territorial. He disliked the thought of me returning home so I'd make love with Inuyasha. He disliked the fact that I had to wash his scent off of me, because he wanted to relish it. At times he even wanted to hold me, but instead I had to return home. It all got him very upset, and he did what he was dying to do for years.
I was only away for a few minutes to get some water. I was taking care of a sick child, and they had a nasty fever. When I returned to the village, it was in shambles. Blood and bodies were everywhere. I quickly made my way to the hut I shared with Inuyasha. What happened to Miroku? Sango? Kaede? And most important, what happened to Inuyasha? As I slid away the screen, my eyes were met with the most horrible sight.
Inuyasha was on his knees, a hole in his chest, as he stared up at the man he hated to call his brother. Sesshomaru was covered in blood, all of it being others'. Nobody had seen him coming, and he destroyed the village, killed my friends--as I could see by the bodies near the hut--and now... my Inuyasha. My hanyou's body went limp, as he fell forward, and the youkai looked at me. I remember him staring at me with cold eyes. "You belong to me now, Miko," he stated.
I looked between him and Inuyasha. I realized this was a possession thing. Possibly even a mating thing. No demon could mate with another's woman, unless said other was dead. Then the woman was once again free, and was fair game. I felt the rage boil inside of me. He killed my Inuyasha, my friends, Grandma Kaede, and the entire village... just so he could mate with me?! How could he?! I thought he cared for me! Sesshomaru seemed to sense my rage, because he came up beside me, and began to speak again. "This is all your own fault. You hadn't pushed me away, that first time. You're responsible for their deaths," he told me, before leaving.
My eyes had widened, becoming bigger than golf balls. No, that couldn't be true. Because I didn't resist him, this happened? That couldn't be, it really couldn't! It was his fault, he killed them! But then... if I never made him want me, then he wouldn't have. Slowly, I collapsed to my knees, staring at my beloved's dead body. It was my fault. He died because of my desires. All he wanted to do was love me, but I craved more. How could I have done this to him? I didn't want to hurt him, I just... I wanted... more. My head lowered slowly. My only choice now was to live with the lord who killed them. I forced myself to my feet, and cried as I followed after him.
If I hadn't been so kind, he wouldn't have died. If I didn't sneak around, he wouldn't have died. If I never made love with Sesshomaru that first time... he wouldn't have died. I suppose desire really could kill a person, but very rarely it was the one who held the desire. He didn't deserve this, he didn't even know what I was doing. A fresh wave of tears came over me, as I tilted my head up to the sky. I begged the Kamis to tell him I was sorry.
I loved him, and failed him. My desire killed my love, and now I live with the cruel lord. He continues to take me, but it no longer holds the love it once did. Even now, as I sit at my hanyou's grave, writing this, he's looking for me. But it doesn't matter, because this is my good bye. I don't care who reads this, or when. But I do want the world to know that I failed the only man I ever truly loved, and that I don't even deserve life. When, or if, Sesshomaru finds me, all he'll see is his dead love lying on her side, clutching to the sword that was used so many times in my life. And he'll never be able to revive me. And maybe, just maybe... my Inu will forgive me.
~Kagome Higurashi,
Lady of the West