Fanfic Submission: College Life, pt. III

[nikolita]

It was a quiet Friday afternoon, and Seiran was looking forward to a relaxing study period in the university’s library. Well, as much as one could relax while studying anyways. It seemed that incriminating photos of Professor Reishin Kou and his teaching assistant Kijin Kou had been leaked online, and Reishin was giving all of his students a ton of

Comments

[beyondthemoor]

Ok, the Reishin-bit and the "Story of Saiunkoku"-insert had me giggling. XD

... I found there was a bit of OOC, though, for Seiran. Normally things wouldn't visibly ruffle him--it'd be internal, and then he'd probably take it out on Ensei. Though I suppose Ensei would notice that (as he did here), and would probably figure it all out. XD Seiran seemed to come across as younger than he is in the series, too -- is that intentional? (Diminishing the gap between him & Shuurei?)

Also, your Shuurei is a shameless flirt. XD She's been spending time with Kouchou, I take it? ;) Seiran doesn't have a chance, hee hee!

[nikolita]

XD Yeah, I guess they're a bit OOC. Sorry about that. Shoudl I go back and re-write it?

[beyondthemoor]

Nah, I'm probably reading more critically than I need to. ^^;

I think I caught a 'break' / 'brake' mix-up, though, somewhere... You may want to do a quick CTRL-F to see if you used the word you meant to. ;)

[nikolita]

That's what I get for writing at 2am. >_> Thanks, I'll go take a look.

I guess for me I get tired of seeing characters written certain ways, so sometimes I branch into OOC. If I had kept this in the Saiunkoku canon universe, I probably would've kept them a little more in-character. But I'll keep that in mind in case I decide to write another chapter through. Thanks for the feedback. <3

Can we expect anything new from you anytime soon? :D

[serafim_angel]

loved it! so glad you wrote another part.

(Shuurei's a bit kinky, which makes more sense for ther knowing someone like Kouchou, I think the original makes her too clueless to be honest)

<3<3<3

[nikolita]

That's what I thought too. I'm like, it's an AU, I can make her less than clueless, unlike the original series which makes her *so* naive it's almost annoying.

And thank you! <3 <3 *shy*