(Untitled)

[niliwen]

A/N: Prompt: Pumpkin

Knife-work

"So it was your girlfriend who carved that jack-o-lantern?"

"For the last time, Ellen is not my girlfriend, she's Macky's."

Lawrence whistled as he surveyed the swirls and starry patterns on the pumpkin. "She's got great skill with a knife. How do you boys get a wink of sleep?"

"Simple: do not tick Ellen off, don

Comments

[trepatukas]

I quite liked the story but I think the prompt could have been used much more.

[niliwen]

Thanks! I know it could be explored more but I seem to have a trouble writing more than a drabble nowadays.

[trepatukas]

Perhaps in this case it could be Ellen carving a pumpkin by herself and then at the end subtly threatening to use Lawrence's head instead of the pumpkin if she/he [can't recognise the name] leaves a mess in the shower. Something like that.

[niliwen]

Yeah. Wish I'd thought of that one. I should write an interaction between those two soon.

Your BF edit!

[keppiehed]

Hello! I'm one of your editors this week!

-"For the last time[:] Ellen is not my girlfriend[;] she's Macky's."

- "If you value your skin, yes." I would say, "no" instead of yes, but that is just me. Since the statement preceding is in the negative, to be in agreement, it would be a "no". But I can see how you have "yes" as an agreement. It's just opinion, I guess. That's probably confusing the way I phrased it, sorry! :)

I agree that this was a slender tidbit to base the prompt on. It is good to keep in practice of writing even if you are not in the mood, so I am glad to see you submitting, but I think you could stretch yourself a tiny bit more. It doesn't have to be a long piece to be a meanful interaction. Drabbles are all very valid forms of writing; just try to be thoughtful about what you are saying, since you are already so familiar with these characters. Otherwise, well done.

Re: Your BF edit!

[niliwen]

Thanks for the input, Keppie!

I get the grammar bit. And I have to stretch more. :)

dodos rolling out the edit wagon,he pauses

[bardiphouka]

I agree, I do wish you had spent more time with the pumkin then with the shower?

Re: dodos rolling out the edit wagon,he pauses

[niliwen]

Maybe I should have. Got uninspired that week, sadly.

Very Late editor

[cedarwolfsinger]

Sorry this is so late. I was sick and then had to prepare for a concert that took place Saturday. Now that's over and -- ta-dah -- here I am!

This was quite short and quite chilling at the same time. Ellen certainly is not someone with whom I would be comfortable sharing living space! Interesting use of the prompt in very few words.

Re: Very Late editor

[niliwen]

Thanks! I'm not even sure how this bunch lives together.