(Untitled)

[niliwen]

A//N: Prompt: Bulletproof

The Twelfth Time Around
Contrary to what everyone thought, Anton did remember every time he turned around the cosmos. Of course it was easy to argue that it didn't quite count, since his memory was only the sort that happened in fragments of dreams. 'There is a reason for everything though, a reason it keeps coming back

Comments

[bluegerl]

By GOLLY Nili... this is a beautiful and fascinating and wonderfully told story. Oh my. Oh gosh. I can't think what to say, except I was drawn in and couldn't escape -- the deaths, and the scenario so well shown in just a few words... scene setting. GOSH, love, this is brilliant. DO LOVE IT... and poor Anton. Antoine I shall now call him in my head.

All he has to do is to - survive and keep Ellen. OH dear me, I pray he does. and I too would love to see a Fate Cycle when it is broken.

Oh wondrous, and captivating, and sad and painful for Antoine, and... all those dreadful dyings.. oh my goodness.

THanks for a stunner!!!!!!!

[niliwen]

Thanks Blue!

There's more to his quest and it also involves Macky and Cas. But that's not really for him to know.

I really feel sorry for him; some of his reincarnations are particularly nasty; in my head the 1940s one was the worst actually.

dodos rolling out the edit wagon,he pauses

[bardiphouka]

An interesting concept and one I would like to see explored some more. And I like you expanding the story more. Keep up the work.

Re: dodos rolling out the edit wagon,he pauses

[niliwen]

Thanks!

I'll explore it when I have time; med school is being horrible to me now.

Editing Comments

[fawatson]

Sorry for the delay in completing this edit - totally slipped by me last week!

In general: I liked this story. At first I was puzzled but as the story unfolded with all the different fates I got into the rhythm and really enjoyed it. There are several unanswered questions, for example: Why these four? Why is Anton seeking to have his fortune told now? How is it Stella knows all this (presumably most of the people Anton meets wouldn’t). You chose not to answer and left all this a mystery. That makes me think this is just an excerpt from a potentially much longer piece. I thought the play on words with the prompt interesting; if he never reached 30 Anton is far from bulletproof.

I have some minor editing suggestions:

"Something to say, play by conventions."
I’m not sure the word ‘say’ is necessary. Why not: "Something to play by conventions."

"Are you afraid though?"
The ‘though’ is not needed. Try: "Are you afraid?"

To be fair, it had been difficult to imagine it for as long as Macky had been in love with someone

Re: Editing Comments

[niliwen]

Thanks!

Stella is a medium of some sorts. So she'd know these things somehow. Plus there's a possibility that perhaps Anton and his friends are less private people, and maybe a whole lot of people know their story (in this life).