These have been lying around for months now, and despite how short they are I think it's about time I posted something, so have some angsty psuedo-incest fic for my Glee OTP. ♥
1. CIRCLES ROUND YOU
This year they need a new tree.
It's the first Christmas they'll be spending all in the same house - the Hummel's, naturally - and the idea of spending the holiday in someone else's home makes Finn feel strange; but he likes that they're a kind-of family now, and his mom is happy all the time and Burt doesn't want to kill him anymore. Kurt's another story, but - they're getting there.
Burt and Carole aren't the least fussed about how any of the house looks - or, Burt isn't after a half-hour argument with Kurt in the car about how a green tree would clash with the whole living room décor and make Kurt violently ill to look at. Finn's mom is generally pretty tacky, which she can admit, so the shopping trip mostly consists of Kurt staring at obscure looking tree decorations for extended periods of time and Finn trailing after him, making bad suggestions and trying to carry everything Kurt throws his way. Their parents sit idly in the café next door. Hope he doesn’t kill you, Burt texted him forever ago when they entered this store, and at the time Finn thought he was joking.
"I found it," Kurt tells him breathlessly. It's an after an hour or so of staring at a crowd of ridiculously massive trees that manage to dwarf Finn with their branches alone.
Finn shuffles a few boxes and bags so he can see more clearly. Kurt's pointing at one of the biggest there, with thin, wiry branches that fluff out nearer the bottom and it's not as mangled as most of the other things Kurt's picked out today, but.
"It's... white," Finn points out.
"Silver," Kurt corrects, then frowns at him. "Also, très beau."
Finn squints at it. It looks skeletal and frail and creepy. It'll probably terrify him when he sees it first thing every morning, especially covered in all the equally creepy decorations and figurines of chubby wooden kids Kurt's picked out for it. Also, it's white; Finn wishes he'd been more on Burt's team in the car to opt for traditional green, because this colour change takes him aback a lot more that he thought it would.
"Can I put the angel on top of it?" he asks, because since the age of three this has been his main priority where Christmas decorations are concerned. He can compromise this for Kurt, anyway, since his dad is the reason Finn is probably waking up this Christmas to a new plasma television (to go with the new room and all).
Kurt smiles at him, for the first time in a long time. He takes out the list and pens a cross through 'Non-hideous tree', looking pleased with himself. "Nobody else has a chance of reaching that far, do they?"
-
Kurt’s been home an entire week by the time Finn notices. The decorations are all meticulously posed, hanging across the ceiling of every room in the house - the creepy angel above Finn’s bedroom door included - and the tree is in the corner of the living room, terrifying everyone who’s line of vision it crosses, wrapped in sparkly white tinsel and porcelain figurines and blinking little lights. Finn figures Kurt must have really missed home if his first instinct upon return was to make sure it was fully aware that he was still alive and well.
“It looks good,” Finn tells him. Kurt is fiddling with the wreath on the dining room door, readjusting it for the dozenth time today with his mouth caught in a strict, decidedly non-festive line. “It looks cool,” he tries again, but since he came home the only things Kurt’s gracing with answers are Mercedes’ and Blaine’s phonecalls so there’s no real point.
It’s mostly just been them in the house, since the wedding wasn’t long ago and Finn’s mom is still wrapped up in Burt like he is in her; they’re out doing couple-y things most days that Finn’s embarrassed just hearing about. Burt’s resolved to teach her the basic components of a car engine so Kurt isn’t helping out in the garage and she’s taken over all the cleaning and cooking and fretting so instead of the brotherly bonding Finn hoped for and half-expected, Kurt’s just wandering around the house most of the time, refolding folded laundry and double checking his dad’s appointment’s that Carole’s already had booked for weeks, looking like he doesn’t know what to do with himself while Finn tiptoes around him and tries to delay whatever breakdown is on the horizon for them.
School’s not even finishes for Finn yet, and they’ve planned all the family events like driving into town to see the Christmas lights switch on, picking out Secret Santas, all the shopping Finn dreads substantially less with Kurt around, but it’s still a downer that the week of their first Christmas as the family they’ve both always wanted is spent in a relatively silent house, avoiding each other at almost all costs.
Finn’s used to taking that long first step where Kurt is concerned by now, though. There’s a neat stack of Christmas movies next to the couch, and Finn grabs the one at the top after another hour of nothing, no brotherly bonding whatsoever, and he opens Kurt’s door without knocking which he hates and starts off with this awkward, earnest smile and, “Want to watch a movie?”
Kurt stares at him for a moment, then tilts his head to see the DVD he’s holding, an eyebrow quirked. “It’s A Wonderful Life?” he reads, and Finn’s seen it like, once, and it was a little boring and way too long for him. He was hoping whatever he grabbed would turn out to be Jingle All The Way because it’s his favourite Christmas movie after Die Hard (Kurt refused to accept that as a real Christmas movie and put to the side instead, though, which only proves he’s obviously never seen Die Hard) but Kurt looks happy with Finn’s choice and that’s really all any of this was for, anyway.
“Sure,” Kurt agrees after a moment. His lips quirk into a smile. “I’d like that.”
Finn.'> 2. YOU'RE THE ONE I'VE KEPT CLOSEST
Things are never easy between them.
When Kurt falls out of love - when he starts seeing the Finn Hudson that is nothing but a selfish, stupid boy - things go even farther downhill. Finn would easily take the onesided love over the onesided hate, when he thinks about it now. The silences would be far less weighted, make him feel far less guilty. He doesn't understand what happened between them anymore - he's blocked most of it out, he's done everything to forget - he doesn't understand why he lashed out at all when he knows all he's ever wanted is to be adored in the desperate, greedy way that Kurt had adored him.
3. GO SLOW
This wasn't how it was supposed to go, this was never the plan for them after highschool.
Even Finn said, once, (after some beers maybe, after smoking pot in Puck’s basement, maybe) “Sometimes, I think we should have,” then, thoughtfully, “I think it should have been us. You and me.” He’d looked straight at Kurt - and they were already brothers, then, the family they’d always craved to have, and every time a camera flashed for family photos Kurt would feel his heart swell, every time Finn looked at Kurt and Burt there would be so much in his eyes, something dear and overwhelmingly fond - he’d looked straight at Kurt and said, “I wish I’d known that I could’ve loved you then, too.” (And they brushed past it like a real family would have, afterwards - Kurt just put him to bed and stored it as another moment they would never talk about, they would will and pretend away. They’ve been brothers five years now, and they’ve gotten better at it, but whenever he knows Finn is thinking about it - about them, or who they could have been, at least - he still hesitates before choosing to ignore the and now? that's been building in his throat for the past five years; he counts his remaining silence as practically the only progress they've made since.)
Kurt wishes that Finn had known then, too.