December, 1996

[nin_reznor]

I watched her walk by, and never said a word. I know she had no idea I was there. When I want to be, I'm very careful about such things.

I felt slightly foolish. I also felt like a stalker. Echoes of a past life, always standing on the outside looking in, never quite able to find the voice I wanted, needed to connect with those I desperately

Comments

[_tori_amos_]

Nearly a decade ago. It's strange the way time travels, as I was typing away and ruminating over before the notepad feature so rudely interrupted my trains of thought. And yet, somehow, you bring it all back. The thoughts. The emotions. The good ones. It was almost as if the world would turn it's back for just a moment to give us that time to hold one another in those brief bits of physical connection. You were warmer than you could tell, your hands were stronger than you allowed them to truly be and your heart -- always much more open then you ever imagined. I saw it in your eyes and I still see it there. It's audible with every slight vocal inflection when you speak

[nin_reznor]

How do you do that, Tori?

How do you have such a gift for making me stumble over myself like I was a kid again? Speechless before your power, Scarlett. Always was. I just was good at hiding it, even in the early days.

Too old, too much mileage on these tires to bother now. I'm not young, dumb and full of come anymore. Older, wiser, but my hands don't shake when I look at bottles anymore. They get a little tremor every time I see your lips. Different kind, though.

I love you, pretty little red-haired girl.

[_tori_amos_]

If I knew just what I was doing to make you speechless I could do one of two things: use it to my advantage, order you around in a Cabana boy outfit. Or I could just smile, kiss you senseless and wait patiently for you to find your words. When you find them, you always blow me away. I'm much too wordy and flowery. You say it straight out when neccessary. You've taught me a lot.

Yet, here I am still jabbering away when I could be just as speechless. The way you make me feel in incomparable to anything else. Entirely.

And I love you, Charlie Brown. I guess this is Christmas.

[nin_reznor]

If this is Christmas, then I'm behind on my shopping. So, it can't be quite Christmas yet. Maybe one of it's attributed days. Day 7 of 12, collect them all.

[ne_cave]

It's always nice to hear of second chances taken, and given a chance to "re-thrive" if you will.

[nin_reznor]

I never used to put much stock in luck as a concept. funny how much time can change that, isn't it?

[ne_cave]

Yes, as one ages the concept of luck does become more clear. In my youth I actualy believed that I had a hand in my luck - but as I look back on it, it was not the case.

[just_lucia]

I agree with Nick. Second chances rule!

[nin_reznor]

I wasn't a big believer in them for a very long time. I am now. Tori's good at restoring faith in a great many things, you see.